by J. M. Lamp
“Well,” she says, “I’m glad you did.”
He reaches out his hand and says, “Mark.”
“Hadley.”
She looks over at us and says, “These are my friends: Will and Elliot.”
We say hello and Hadley looks back up to Mark and bites her lip.
“Well, dinner was amazing, Hads,” Elliot says as he puts on his coat. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Hadley gets up and hugs Elliot and then embraces me as well. We make our way back outside and luckily, it hasn’t snowed anymore.
“Looks like she’s getting that much-needed dick tonight,” I say.
“She’s not the only one,” Elliot says as he wraps his arm around my waist and sticks his frozen hand on my stomach.
***
Elliot pulls his underwear down and throws them towards the TV. He walks over to the couch and sits down, planting his feet firmly and slowly opening and closing the gap between his legs.
I get on my knees in the space between his legs and rub my palms up and down his thighs. He bites his lower lip and leans his head back as I kiss my way from the middle of his thigh to his hip. I kiss his stomach and slowly make my way down to his cock and lick the tip. He moans and he leans his waist into me as I take his full length in my mouth.
I massage him up and down with my hand as I drown his cock with my mouth. With one hand, he grips the side of the couch. With the other hand, he grips my head and runs his fingers through my hair. His moans grow louder as I take him deeper in my mouth and squeeze harder with the motioning.
After more strokes, I notice that the moaning stops and I look up and see his head cocked to the side, his mouth open, and his cock slowly losing blood flow.
“Wow,” I say out loud with a laugh.
I lean into him and gently throw him over my shoulder and make my way to the bedroom. I lay him on the bed and cover him with the blanket. I look down at the beautiful man lying next to me and realize that the first ounce of true happiness I’ve experienced in awhile just fell asleep while I was blowing him and when he moves, I’m going to have to go with him.
Chapter Thirteen
Elliot
“S OUNDS LIKE YOU HAD quite the night last night,” Sam says across the table from me.
“Huh?”
“Ya know,” he says, “when you feel asleep while your hot boyfriend was going down on you.”
“Jesus, you heard that?”
“Yeah,” he says. He clinks his fork and spoon together like a child playing with its food and looks up at me. “I can’t believe you fell asleep.”
“I don’t even remember it to be honest, but he told me this morning before he left, so I made up for it.”
“Heard that, too,” he says. “Will is quite the screamer.”
“This is why I like going to his place.”
“At least you don’t live with Ethan. He would probably come in and try to join you guys.”
“Well,” I say leaning back and crossing my arms, “I’m sorry you heard it regardless.”
“So,” Sam says with his eyebrows raised.
“So what?”
“What’s this lunch meeting about?”
“Can’t I just want to have lunch with my best friend?”
“Yes,” he says, “but you seem nervous and you asked me last minute this morning all nervous-like.”
“I got a job offer,” I say.
“That’s good and where—“
“London.”
Sam looks at me, his mouth slightly open, and I take a drink of my water.
“Well, I mean, that’s wonderful, but I thought that all fell through.”
“They are still interested in me, but not everything else. They want to start an all-new publishing house with no ties to where I was. They already have a bunch of local authors and just need me to come down this summer and help set everything up and get things running.”
“So, it’s just for the summer?”
“I don’t know,” I say and my eyes dart down to the table.
“What?”
“I mean, obviously, I want to go, no questions asked.”
“But you are worried about Will?”
“Yeah.
“Why?” he says.
“I don’t know. We are still relatively new, and of course I wouldn’t expect him to go with me and even move over there, but I also know that I can’t stay here if I do have the opportunity to do something big.”
“You’d just have to ask him. Assuming you would actually want him to come with you. Plus, almost six months is a little more than relatively new.”
“All the guys I’ve dated, I’ve never liked, let alone loved, them the way I love Will. He’s just…different. I feel comfortable and at peace and at home with him and the idea of him not being in my life terrifies me quite honestly. Everything is coming together as far as my career and all that’s left is having that special someone and Will is that person.”
“Then ask him. It’s not like he is going to invite himself.”
I look outside the window past Sam’s head and see traffic backed up. People are maneuvering through the cars like a maze to rush off to wherever they need to go and I blankly wonder what all the stress of it is for. I wonder if London is just as cluttered and busy and filled with people who just do the same thing everyday in a robotic fashion with their coffees and lattes and cellphones pressed against their ears while they walk and run to wherever they think they’re meant to be in that moment.
“I like Will. Elliot?” Sam snaps his fingers in front of my face and I slowly look back over to him. I laugh and close my eyes and then slowly open them.
“I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Clearly,” he says. “I said, I like Will. I think he’s great for you honestly. You say you haven’t felt this strongly for a person before and that’s saying something at least. If you want your career and the love of your life then all you need to do is ask him. I highly doubt the idea of going with you hasn’t crossed his mind.”
“He just got his new thing going here and stuff, too. I don’t want to make him feel like he has to give that up just to be with me.”
“Well,” he says, “even if he doesn’t want to go with you, that doesn’t mean you have to break up. Long distance relationships exist for reasons like this one.”
“So, how are things in Sam’s world?”
“Good,” he says and puts his hands behind his head. “I finished up some more covers with your old team, but I actually got a new job offer at a game studio yesterday where I’ll handle all their media-related designing, but also get to help with the actual animation side of things.”
“Now that is an exciting opportunity!”
“I mean it’s not as exciting as getting to go to London,” he says, laughing, “but it’s in a field I love, so I’m very excited. Plus it’s a full-time thing. No more freelance bullshit or vampire novels. Well, I will probably still do freelance in my free time. The money can be good and those rich housewives need someone to help design things for their shitty books.”
“I’m happy for you, Samuel.”
“Well, I’ll be even happier for you once you tell your boyfriend you can’t live without him.”
I smile and wonder if Will really would go with me. There’s a lot here that he wouldn’t want to walk away from, but there’s also a lot here that he would want to walk away from I imagine.
“Now you just need a man in your life.”
“No,” he says.
“But—“
“I like being career-driven only for the time being.”
“Don’t you miss it though?”
“What, being cheated on and giving my all only to get fucked and not in a good way?”
“Well,” I say, “don’t you at least miss getting fucked in the good kind of way?”
“I don’t think about it much.”
“You also never had a good sex-life with any of your partners.”
“Exactly, so I’ve never expected much and don’t feel the need to get any.”
“But, and just hear me out, if you did find someone that was good, then maybe you would want to actually have it like normal people.”
“I’ll download an app or two. Happy?”
“Yes.”
“So, have you told Hadley?”
“Told her last night. She was thrilled, but she also was in an overly excited mood. And she got some dick last night, too.”
“And Ethan?”
“No.”
“Why haven’t you told him yet?”
“Because I know he won’t be happy about it.”
“I don’t know, El. He’s been acting different lately. The selfish, slutty Ethan that we all know and love is slowly going away.”
“I know that version of him too and he still won’t be thrilled by the fact.”
Sam looks at me and rolls his eyes.
“I’ll tell him tonight, we’re having dinner. He met someone I guess.”
“Another double date?”
“No, he’s saving this one he said.”
“Well, find out his name at least and ill stalk him on social media.”
Sam’s phone buzzes on the table and his face tenses up as he reads the message.
“I gotta go. Your old, cocksucker of a boss needs to get my signature on some things before tomorrow and needs to see me.” He turns the phone around and once I look at it, he says, “ASAP!”
“Have fun,” I say. “I’ll get this.”
“Thanks, buddy.”
Sam gets up and gets a few feet to the door when he stops in his tracks. He speed walks back over to me and strains a smile and says, “Don’t freak out.”
“What’s—“ I look past Sam towards the entrance and see Drew standing just in front of it. He’s frozen in place and locked in on me.
I look up to Sam and say, “Go.”
“You sure?”
“I’m fine.”
I get my wallet out and set my card on the receipt.
“Hi,” I hear Drew say beside me as the waiter takes the bill.
I look up at him and say, “I heard you’ve been back for awhile.”
“Yeah,” he says and looks down at the floor towards his feet.
“Do you want to sit?”
He sits down and looks up at me, his eyes getting moist.
“Words can’t begin to describe how sorry I am for everything. I just—“
“I don’t want an apology,” I say, cutting him off. He looks down at the table and takes a breath. “But I will take answers. Like what happened and why you just up and left everything like someone on the run.”
“Do you remember my friend from high school that I came here with years ago? The one who was like a brother to me?”
“Yeah.”
“He died a few days before I had left that year. I couldn’t handle it. I had other things going on with work and we weren’t doing great either and him dying just really messed me up.”
“Where did you go? Just back home?”
“You’d think that would make it worse, but it didn’t. Being here reminded me of him in ways that I didn’t want to think about, but back there, I remembered things that shaped me and all the positive things that happened when he actually was in my life. I didn’t think about anything when I left.”
“I just wish you would’ve came to me about it; any of it. How you were feeling. I mean, I get that you were messed up, but you just up and left without any reason as to why.” The tears start to run down his face and he looks up at me.
“I’m not mad anymore,” I say. “I don’t even know if I was mad at you at all. To be honest, we did have problems and you leaving solved a lot of them.”
He laughs and I say, “Sorry, that sounded horrible.”
“It’s fine,” he says. “I mean, you’re right. You didn’t deserve it, but I just wasn’t all there to really tell you anything. I don’t even remember driving back home. That week in general is all a blur.”
He wipes his nose just as the waiter brings back my card and says, “He meant a lot to me. Not in a relationship kind of way or anything, but he was always there for me when we were young. His family became my family. I owe him a lot. He helped me accept being gay too in the way he was so comfortable with myself. We didn’t talk as much once we moved here, but we’d still have dinner occasionally. Work took over and we got new friends. We drifted and I hate that.”
“How’d he die?”
“A really bad car crash. Evan was driving back to the city one night I guess and someone hit him head on; a dumb fucking drunk driver that survived it all unscathed. At least, that’s what his fiancé and family were told. I never met the guy, but saw pictures. They were together for a while; three or four years I think. Had planned to get married a month after the crash happened, but yeah.”
My stomach drops and I know I’m just overthinking, but I look at him anyway and say, “What was his fiancés name?”
“Um, Will, I think? Forget his last name. He seemed like a nice guy. Still lives here I think. Evan’s family hasn’t really talked to him from what I hear.”
I feel sick and am frozen in place for a few seconds. I take a deep breath and Evan looks back up to me.
“You OK?”
“I’m glad you’re safe. And back, thanks.”
“For what?”
“For telling me everything. I have to go, but I’ll see you around probably. The city is only so big.”
“Bye, El.”
I make my way outside and my vision goes a little blurry. I make my way around the corner and lean against the wall. I don’t know why I’m so anxious about what he said. I knew they were close, Will told me everything; except for the fact that they were engaged and getting married ridiculously close to when Evan died.
I make my way towards the apartment, trying to process my thoughts and not freak out over nothing. Just as I get to my building, I stop and look at the sidewalk. I feel the bile come up and vomit goes everywhere. I wipe my mouth and make my way into the apartment and get a glass of water.
My phone dings and I see it’s a message from Ethan.
What time do you want to meet for dinner?
6 or 7.
OK. I’ll pick you up between 6 and 7, friend.
I set the phone back down and make my way to my bedroom. I lay my cheek against the pillow and look out the window. It’s not like Will lied to me, he just didn’t tell me everything. But why didn’t he tell me everything? One of the most important things about his relationship with Evan and he just didn’t include it.
My heartbeat slows down and my stomach becomes less of a mess and the light slowly fades from my view as I fall asleep.
***
I wake up from my nap and see it’s almost six-thirty. I go into the kitchen and look at my phone and see a missed call from Will and a message from Ethan that he is going to be late. I get another glass of water, grab my phone and make my way to the couch.
I call Will and each ring makes me more and more nervous. He’ll be able to tell the nervousness in my voice and I don’t know what I’ll say to him.
“Hello,” he says.
“Whatcha doin’?”
“Watching TV. What are you doing, lover?”
“Just got up from a nap. Waiting for Ethan to get here. Going out to dinner.”
“Think he’ll be happy about everything?”
“Underneath it all,” I say, laughing, “but he’ll be unhappy I’m sure. He met someone apparently.”
“Well that’s good.”
“Hopefully.”
“You OK?” he says. My stomach turns and I yawn.
“Yeah,” I say. “Still just really tired. I need to get ready honestly, so I’ll call you later.”
“Okay,” he says. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
A half hour later, I hear a bang on my door and Ethan walks in.
&nb
sp; “Ready, fucker?”
***
“His name is Cody,” he says. “He’s pretty and, you’ll be happy to know, he isn’t a complete idiot.”
I smile and say, “Both is good.”
“He’s a nurse. I met him when I was doing some work for the hospital.”
“Someone to take care of you.”
He laughs and says, “Hopefully in other ways and not in a doing-his-job kind of way.”
“I have to tell you something,” I say, putting my arms across my chest.
He picks up his menu and says, “Yes, Elliot?”
“I got a job offer in London.”
“Yeah, the one that fell through.”
“No,” I say.
He looks up and raises his eyebrows.
“Same people,” I say, “but they just want me now. Nothing to do with where I was at or the dickhead who ran the place.”
“Oh,” he says and looks back down at the menu. “Well, that’s wonderful, Elliot.”
“Huh?”
“What?”
“I was expecting you to act a little differently.”
“I mean, I’m not thrilled about the fact that you are leaving, but it’s what’s best and I’m sure the opportunity is once in a life time.”
“It is.”
“And Will?”
“What about him?”
“How did he react?”
“Same as you, honestly,” I say. “Thinks it is great and didn’t say anything about me leaving, but I’m assuming he isn’t thrilled either.”
“Have you asked him about going with you?”
“No,” I say.
“Um, why?”
“I don’t know how to ask him. That’s a big thing. He’d be uprooting his life.”
“Maybe he cares enough about you to go with you. Ask yourself, would you go with him if the situation was switched?”
I hadn’t thought of that before now. Would I?
“Yes,” I say, without a doubt. “I don’t expect him too, though.”
“But he might even want to go with you; to experience all these new things with you. To start his life with you in general even if it’s not here.”