by M. T. Pope
I made my way down the stairs and into the living room, where Mother Black was. She had tea and cookies on the table for our little heart-to-heart.
“All right, Mama. I’m ready to talk.” I picked up my mug and began to sip, trying to prolong the inevitable.
“So how are you and my son getting along?”
“Mama, what can I say? We are coming along.”
“Umm-hmm.” She nodded her head. “Are you guys talking and communicating?”
“Sure, Mama. We talk all the time.” I smiled. It was true, but we limited what we talked about. Even though we were pretty much back to normal, we still had room for improvement.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
We were interrupted by a knock on the door. I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew she was going to grill me more. I really needed this out.
She put her finger up like she was excusing herself and went to answer the door. She came back with a husky African-American man and a thin, lanky Caucasian male.
I looked at her puzzled.
“Mona, these two detectives are working on my husband’s murder case. Detectives, this is my daughter-in-law.”
“How are you doing, ma’am?”
“I’m doing fine.” I got up and shook both of their hands.
“Take a seat, young men.” Mama Black pointed to her plaid sofa. “Is it okay if she stays here while we talk?”
They nodded their heads in agreement.
The African American officer spoke first. He said, “Mrs. Black, we would first like to give condolences about the death of your husband.”
“Thank you so much, gentlemen.”
“We have been working tirelessly trying to get this offender who murdered your husband off the streets. We need to know if there is anyone that you can think of that would have cause to kill your husband?”
“I’m sorry, detective, but I can’t think of anyone I know that would want to harm him. I will say, though, that he did have some seedy type of acquaintances at the time of our separation.”
“We have questioned a James Parks, since he was the last person to see him alive. We had to dismiss him as a possible suspect. He came back with a solid alibi for the night of the crime.”
She looked at me, and then we both shook our heads. I guess we both wanted James to get some kind of payback for the way he had treated members of this family, but it was what it was.
He’ll get his one day. Because I know karma very well, and she don’t play.
“I think that’s all we needed to ask you at this time. We have retrieved some evidence from the crime scene that is still being worked on. We will give you a call if anything definite comes up.”
The two detectives got up, and we did the same.
“Here is my card. If you can think of anything, please call me ASAP. Anything you can remember will help.”
“I sure will.” Mama walked the detectives to the front door.
I quickly grabbed my coat and made my way toward the front door as well. “Mama, I really have to go.” I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. “I forgot I have a meeting with Diana’s guidance counselor today.” I lied.
As I sat in my car and started it up, I prayed to God for forgiveness for the lie I’d just told. I pulled off and made my way back home to wait until it was time to pick up the kids.
Later that evening, after picking up Alex and Diana from my mom’s house. She was getting older and I wanted her to spend as much time with the “grands,” as she called them, as she could.
I walked into the house with the kids in tow. It was so relaxing to get in the house and chill out. The kids had a marvelous time at my mom’s house again. We had made several trips over to her house during this week. They were acting like straight fools, and my mom was right along with them.
They played everything from Charades to Scrabble. I, on the other hand, had other things on my mind. How was I going to tell Shawn about Alex being gay? He was still wrapped up in his own issues, so I was afraid this one just might push him over the edge.
Alex and Diana immediately went their separate ways when we got in the house. I was wondering if Ashley was back home after she darted out of the house again this morning, and what her and this Tony fellow were doing that had her leaving the house so early in the morning.
I walked up the steps and went to her room. As I got to the door, I could hear her crying. I knocked a couple of times to let her know I was there.
“Come in,” she called out.
When I walked in, she was sprawled out across her bed with her face toward the wall.
“Are you okay?” I said as I walked over and sat on the bed. “I thought I heard you crying.”
“I was,” she said as she turned and positioned herself to face me.
I instantly saw a small cut above her eye, but it didn’t look fresh. I didn’t notice it until now, probably because I was so consumed with Alex’s mess that I didn’t notice the signs of my daughter being in an abusive relationship. It didn’t help that I had never met this young man.
“Who did this to you?” I said, placing my hand right above the cut. “Did Tony do this to you?” I was boiling, ready to confront this bastard boy immediately. How dare he hit my baby!
“Well,” she said, “me and Tony had a disagreement the other day, and I walked off. But Tony didn’t hit me though. I did this when I got home and I hit my head on a cabinet door that I left open after I made something to eat.”
“You sure?” I said, not believing her fully.
Her head was lowered, and I saw a few tears flow down her cheek.
“Ashley, baby,” I said, lifting her head up with my hand. “Don’t be fooled into thinking that this guy loves you and hits you out of love. You are a beautiful girl, and I am sure God will send the right boy along that will treat you right.”
I’d always raised my children with the notion that if I validated them while they were young then they will already know their self-worth when they’re looking for a mate. They won’t stand for any abuse in any way and will love themselves before anyone can tell them different.
“Ma, I know that already. Daddy tells me that all the time. I just need to handle this on my own, okay.” She wiped her face.
She gave me a great big hug, which let me know that she indeed was growing up, that I had to give her space to make mistakes, and learn from them as well. I kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room.
It was almost time for me to start dinner, so I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen to make a quick decision on what to fix. Just as I was getting ready to start, the phone rang, interrupting my flow.
“Hello,” I said cheerfully.
“What’s up with my baby mama?” James said comically into the phone.
I didn’t find it funny. I hated the fact that he had such a link to me. “Hey, James.”
“What’s up with you? You don’t sound too happy to hear the voice of the most important person in your life.” He laughed a little.
“James, I don’t have time for your shit right now. I have a family to take care of,” I said as quietly as I could.
I don’t know what I ever saw in him, because he now made my skin crawl every time I heard his voice. The liquor I was drinking in California must have been spiked with something for me to mess with his crazy ass. Just the thought of us being connected forever made my head spin.
“Look, hoes ‘r’ us, get your tone right when talking to big daddy. Remember the last time your ass popped off slick, I had your ass in an alley fucking the homeless. Don’t make me take you down a notch. You hear me, cunt?”
I was angry and speechless at the same time. I didn’t deserve this shit he was putting me through again. All I could do was tell the children who their father was and let the chips fall where they may. “Look, James, the children already know that you are their biological father, and they want nothing to do with a homewrecking faggot.”
“Bitch, what do you take
me for? A fucking dummy? They don’t know shit, and if you wanna play Russian roulette, then it’s a go, because I got both Ashley and Alex’s cell phone numbers on speed dial. Now if you wanna play games, let’s put one of them on three-way and see if they really know.”
Shit! This muthafucka was good, and it seemed like he was always a step ahead of me. I breathed out a sigh of anguish. “Okay, James, what do you want?”
“Umm, the possiblities are numerous, but…I just wanted to check up on you again to make sure my number two ho was still in line. Holla.” Click.
I sat with my back against a wall once again, literally and figuratively. I mulled over the possibility of what the children’s response might be if they found out that Shawn wasn’t their father. It was time to find out.
“Alex! Ashley!” I yelled out, calling them to the kitchen. “Come here for a minute.”
Within seconds, they were in the kitchen standing on both sides of me. I looked at both of them several times. They were my babies, and I loved them so much. I hated that I was deceiving them. I had to get this over with.
“Come and give me a hug,” I said, reaching out toward both of them.
Diana had entered the kitchen and proceeded to hug me as well.
It’s now or never. “Hey, you guys. Sit down for a minute.”
“Is everything okay?” Alex asked with an inquisitive look on his face.
“I just need to ask you guys something.” I paused for a couple of seconds and walked around the room, stalling. “Um, well, er, this is very hard for me to do.” I put my hand over my head and leaned up against the counter. “So I’m going to just out and ask you guys—What do you guys want to do, eat in or out?” I just couldn’t do it. I just didn’t have the courage to tell them yet. I knew that waiting and prolonging the situation was only going to make it worse. I just needed more time.
“Is that it, Mom?” Ashley said with a smile on her face. “We thought something was really wrong. Like Grandma was sick or something. You had me scared for a minute. I’ma little tired of eating out and would love if you make some of your homemade fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy.”
Alex and Diana both agreed to the same as well.
“Sorry, you guys. I just wanted your input. You guys are important, and I want you to feel that way in every decision this family makes, okay.”
“Okay.” They all chimed in together as if they were in the army.
“I’ll call you guys as soon as your father comes in, so we can eat together.”
They all went their separate ways as I took out chicken from the refrigerator and prepared my family a home-cooked meal.
Chapter 38
Shawn
Family Time
December 28th, 2018, 5:43 P.M.
When I got home, it was about six o’clock or so. I walked into my house to the aroma of home cooking. My wife was such a good cook and mother. I knew when I went to work that my household was being cared for with a passion that only she could give. It was a shame that I still had some issues that I wouldn’t talk about.
I looked at “my” children and knew that it was a blessing just to be in their lives. Even though my father wasn’t the best example of fatherhood, one thing I can say, he did stay. He wasn’t a deadbeat father, and neither was I. He and I had some of the same faults, but I had to take this thing to another level and man up. I wasn’t going to let my family go down without a fight. Even with me having a son out of my marriage and me not telling my family, I wasn’t going to allow my father’s demons to destroy my life or the lives of his grandchildren.
With God’s help, I knew this family could overcome all of this. That’s why when I sat in my car after I’d dropped Li’l Shawn off, I prayed to God that He would bring resolution to this house and heal our family. I know that it seemed like I was asking for this help a little too late, but my mom always taught me to put my trust in God.
“Prayer changes things, baby” was what she would tell me during the time that I was just getting used to talking to her again. It was at times like this I felt like screaming to God, “Why me?”
On one of those Sundays, when I was actually paying attention in church, I remember the pastor preaching about trial and tribulations, about our tests not always being for us, but for somebody else’s deliverance. Personally, I thought it was messed up to go through something, just so I could help somebody else. Selfish I know, but that was the way I felt.
“Hi, honey.” I walked into the kitchen and squeezed my wife from behind. “You sure got it smelling good up in here.” I nibbled on her ear.
“Baby, I’m so glad to see you,” she said as she turned around and kissed me on the cheek. “I have something I wanna talk to you about.”
With raised eyebrows, I said, “Oh, really.”
I knew what that meant. I had fucked up and gotten caught in my game. Shit! How did she know? Damn, I knew I should have just came out and told her. I am such a fucking dummy. I should have known that I could get away with hiding Li’l Shawn but for so long.
“Uh, about what?”
“Later, baby,” she said, patting me on my face, “later.”
Oh, shit! It’s one of them let’s-talk-all-by-ourselves talks. What in the world am I going to do?
“Dinner!” she yelled out, alerting the children.
Diana ran me down and jumped in my arms. “Daddy!” she squealed.
I loved my little girl. She was my little princess. How am I going to tell her about her new brother?
She kissed me on the cheek multiple times, letting me know her adoration for me. It did my heart good. And gave me the strength to go on.
Ashley and Alex were a little laid-back and seemed like they were in their own worlds. I could understand they are sixteen-year-old twins with crazy mood swings.
“Hey, you guys!”
They both did their weak “Hey, Dad.”
I took them both with a grain of salt. I noticed that Ashley had a little cut over her eye and made a mental note to get an answer later. “So how are you guys doing in school?” It was a question I should’ve been asking more often, but I was sure Mona was on top of things, including their schoolwork.
“Okay,” they both said in unison.
I took their word for it, but again I made a mental note to call the school to set up a parent-teacher conference.
After that small interrogation, I let them eat, and they made their way back to their rooms.
I made my way to the shower, while Mona cleaned up the kitchen and put away the food. I stayed in the shower a little longer, just to prolong the inevitable, a conversation with my wife. Sometimes it was draining. I loved her, but she could go on and on.
I walked out of the shower after about twenty minutes and made my way to our room and sat down on the bed.
“Okay, babe, I’m ready to talk.”
“Well, baby.” She blew out some air. “James called me today.”
“What!” I almost yelled. Just hearing the nigga’s name sent me over. “Why in the hell is he calling here again?”
My mind wandered back to when she called out his name in bed the other day, but I knew better than that. I knew, after all the things that he put us through, she wasn’t messing around with him anymore.
“He just called here to torment me and let me know that I was his baby mama.” She put her head down.
“That bitch done lost his mind calling here. What if one of the kids answered the phone?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I think that it‘s time to tell the kids the truth.”
When she said that, I felt my heart starting to race a little. I wasn’t prepared or ready to do this yet. I had to find a way to stall her. At least until I could get the nerve to tell her about Li’l Shawn.
“Baby, it’s not time yet. I think we should wait until after we renew our vows and go on our trip. I just think that it’s best to wait right now.”
She stood up and fumb
led with something on her vanity dresser. “Shawn, we have been prolonging this for too long, and I’m getting tired of James holding this over my head.”
I got up and walked over to her and turned her around. Tears were streaming down her face, and she sobbed a little as I pulled her close to me.
“Baby, I know this is a lot right now.” I kissed her tears and stroked her hair. “But, trust me, when the time is right, we will know it.”
“You sure?” She looked up at me, pain in her eyes. She was carrying this secret for a long time.
“Yes, Mona, I’m sure,” I replied, uncertainty dwelling in my heart. I was feeling my way through this. I just didn’t want her to know.
I scooped her up in my arms and carried her over to our bed. Then I proceeded to strip her down and kiss every inch of her body.
Chapter 39
Ashley
I’m a Lover, Not a Fighter
December 28th, 2018, 9:43 P.M.
I had been sitting up in my bed for a long time just staring out the window. I was emotionally drained. I wasn’t expecting for Tony to act like she did It was totally uncalled for her to hit me the way she did. She never acted like that before, and it was a complete turn-off. I mean, yeah, I could have helped when that chick was beating her ass. But, hell, I’m too pretty for all that fighting shit. Her ass could eat some mean pussy, but I wasn’t getting fucked up over that. There are plenty more tongues where hers came from. Part of me still loved her, but her ass was going to come back to me. I wasn’t running back to her.
My phone began to vibrate on my bed. Guess who? Yep, Tony! “Hello,” I answered like I knew she was going to call me.
“What are you doing?”
She asked me like nothing happened earlier this week. A complete switch.
“Well, for starters, I’m here sitting with a cut over my eye, trying to figure who the hell I was messing with.”