by M. T. Pope
I looked at them all as she spoke. Their expressions didn’t change one bit. I was sure they were going to get up and run out in a fit, but they stayed put. They were handling this much better than I thought.
“Ashley and Diana, you met your father at the restaurant we were eating at a couple of weeks ago. Do you remember the guy that came up to the table and hugged me?”
They nodded their heads yes.
“Well, he is your biological father.”
“Alex, do you remember the guy at the funeral?”
He nodded.
“Well, that was your biological father.”
“Look, you guys, what your mother did was a mistake, but I have forgiven her, and so should you.” I looked at her, to reassure her.
Mona spoke again. “So, do you understand what I said?”
They all nodded. “Yeah, we understand.”
Alex said, “But I don’t care who our biological father is. All I know is that Dad”—He looked at me—“played sports with me, gave me baths, and helped me with my homework. He is my father, as far as I am concerned.”
Ashley cosigned with a big smile. “He sure is.”
“I love you too, Daddy.” Diana got up and came over to me and gave me a big hug.
I was overwhelmed with emotion. “Okay, I’m not finished. There is something else I want to say.” I looked at Li’l Shawn. “This little guy is your brother.”
“Uh, Dad,” Alex said, “we kinda figured that out already.”
“Oh, really? How?”
Ashley laughed. “Well, he looks just like you.”
She pointed across the room to a picture of me on the fireplace. I was about the same age as he was now. “Oh!” I let out a small chuckle.
Everyone else chuckled too.
It felt so much better to have all of this out in the open.
“Oh, one more thing,” Mona said softly. “I have something for Alex, Ashley, and Diana.” She pulled a large manila envelope from her lap. “Jerry Parks, your father, left each of you a letter. I want you to read this when you are alone, okay.”
“Okay,” they all chimed.
She handed them the letters, except for Diana. I figured, since she was only ten, Mona was going to sit down and read the letter with her.
“Okay, I think that’s it.” I clasped my hands in front of me. “Let’s pray before we get up.”
We bowed our heads as I gave a short prayer praising God for getting our family straight and on the right path.
“Everyone is dismissed, except for Li’l Shawn.”
Each of them came and gave me a firm hug and left.
“Li’l Shawn…” I paused. I didn’t know how to tell him that his mother was dead. How was he going to take it? “I’m sorry to tell you this, but your mom is in heaven. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir, I understand.” He looked a little hurt. “Daddy, I’m not worried about Mommy, because I know that she is with Jesus.”
I was shocked at his calmness and assurance.
“Mommy said when people die, they go to see God and they live forever. She said when we die and go to heaven, we take care of the people we loved here on earth until we go to heaven too. I know Mommy is looking down at me right now and smiling ’cuz I’m safe with my Daddy now.”
Wow! Sherry was actually a great mother. She had her faults, but she sure did put her all into this son of ours. “Okay, we’re finished now. You can run along and play.”
Li’l Shawn hopped up like a jackrabbit and ran out of the room.
We made it! Thank you, Jesus! I looked up to heaven and truly thanked God for cleaning up our mess.
I knew I had a long way to go with healing, but I was going after all the help and support I could find. I wasn’t looking back anymore. I was going back to counseling and seeking sessions from my pastor as well.
I got up and walked across the room to the mantle, where an obituary of my father was. I grabbed my coat off the back of the chair I was sitting in. “I’ll be back in a few,” I said to no one in particular as I left out the front door and headed to my car.
I pulled up at Woodlawn Cemetery and turned in. I had gotten a map of the location of my father’s grave from my mother before I made my way here. She wanted to come, but I insisted that I do it alone. I needed this to be between just me and him. We had some things to resolve.
It was cold outside, and my black full-length pea coat almost wasn’t cutting it. I bundled up and pressed on with my mission.
“Carl S. Black,” I read aloud as I found his headstone. Shawn was his middle name. Another thing I got from him, I thought to myself.
I looked at his grave that still hadn’t completely sunk into the ground yet. It was still fresh. As were the memories of my painful childhood.
“Well, Dad, here I am.” I waited for a response that I knew would never come.
“It’s me, Shawn, your only son. I’m here to ask you why, Why did you do those things to me? Why couldn’t you just be a regular dad like all my friends had?
“You had to go and fuck up my life—No, no, no,” I yelled out loud, squeezing my head. “I can’t keep blaming you for this. I can’t keep holding on to this pain.
“You let me down, Dad. I let you down, Dad. We weren’t there for each other. I was supposed to be there for you when you died. You were supposed to be here for your grandkids. Why didn’t you just let us help you?” I sobbed aloud like a lion roaring at night.
“I loved you, Dad, no matter what. I loved you, I loved you, I loved you, I loved you!” I fell to my knees, a broken man. “You were supposed to love me.” I was now leaning on his headstone, weak and distraught. “Daddy! Daddy! Answer me! I forgive you Daddy! I forgive you! Please, Daddy! Please! I love you, Daddy! I love you!
I lay on the ground of his grave for what seemed like hours.
I eventually got up and made my way to my car and drove home with relief and hope. God had lifted the weight of my past off me. I felt like I could finally be the man of the house and know that the generational curses that plagued my family stopped at me. I was a free man.
To be continued…
BOOK CLUB DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Is it possible to fall in love over a short period of time? Say one month?
Is it possible to know everything about your mate?
How long does it take to truly forgive someone?
Did any of the characters exhibit growth?
What character(s) stood out the most?
Did James have any good characteristics?
Which minor character would you like to have a story of their own?
Was there anything in the book that really shocked you?
Did this book end the way you wanted it to?
What did you like most about this book?
About the Author
M.T. Pope was born and raised in Baltimore, Md. He is an avid reader and manages a bookstore. He is also an aspiring singer/songwriter. He is a Christian and attends church services on a regular basis. He enjoys spending time with family and friends. He loves to travel and meet new people. He can be reached at [email protected],
www.myspace.com/mtpope
www.facebook.com/mtpope
www.twitter.com/mtpope
www.blackplanet.com/mtpope
He would love to hear your feedback.
Urban Books, LLC
78 East Industry Court
Deer Park, NY 11729
Both Sides of the Fence 2: Gate Wide Open Copyright © 2010 M.T. Pope
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without prior consent of the Publisher, except brief quotes used in reviews.
ISBN: 978-1-59983-154-1
This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living, or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents is entirely coincidental.
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