“Mary?”
Mary realized that Ella had been talking.
“Sorry. What?”
“Are you okay?” Ella looked concerned.
“Yes. Yes I’m okay. You were saying?”
Ella looked unconvinced. “I said you should get some sleep. You have classes early in the morning.”
Mary agreed and stood up to leave. She hugged Ella before she exited the room. As a form of apology of what is to come, or as a thank you for the talk they just had, Mary wasn’t sure.
Chapter 4
“How was your date?” Adam asked as Lucas entered their apartment.
“Alright,” he answered truthfully.
“Did you get lucky?” Adam asked meaningfully.
Lucas shrugged. “We made out a bit,” he said but didn’t elaborate.
“A gentleman,” Adam said. Lucas flung himself on the couch next to Adam and snatched the remote from him.
“Amanda is… unexciting,” he remarked.
“What is it with you and Ella? She used the exact same word to describe her relationship.”
“Did she?”
“Yep.”
“Well, this is different. I’m not in a relationship. It was date.”
“True. Still. Interesting choice of words.”
“Ella said that about Patrick?” Lucas asked in a voice that could pass as casual to someone other than his best friend.
Adam nodded but did not elaborate purposefully.
“Well, why is he unexciting?”
Adam shrugged. “Ella didn’t elaborate.”
Lucas dropped the subject at this point because of the knowing look Adam was giving him.
“What are you doing inside on a Sunday night?” he said instead.
“I’m not, actually. I have to go meet Biology class girl right now. Speaking of which, I should get going.”
“Biology class girl?” Lucas asked as Adam walked to the rack to pull out a jacket.
“Hmm.”
“Maybe you should learn names of your dates before you start sleeping with them.”
Adam shot him an annoyed look over his shoulder. “I know her name. I just forgot. And anyway, I’ll always have you to save me if the date is going too badly.”
“You might not.”
“Then Ella will do it.”
“Ella?”
“She filled in your roll the other day when you were away with that hot friend of hers. Mary, is it? Well, I called Ella and she pretended Dean is ill.”
“Dean?”
“Yes.”
“Who’s Dean?”
Adam shrugged. “Ask Ella. She came up with the name. Did an excellent act to get me out of the date. I could have kissed her right there but I knew you would kill me.”
Lucas rolled his eyes. “Get out already, Adam.”
“Maybe you could try to make Ella’s life more exciting,” Adam winked.
“I told you, I’m over Ella.”
“I know, I know,” Adam said, a smile lingering on his lips. “Well, see you later.”
There was once a time when he had been like Adam; a date every night and a carefree attitude. Something (or someone) had deeply altered that person.
Lucas had settled down for the night and was tying away on his laptop, working on the short story the local newspaper had asked for when he heard a gentle knock on the door. It was Mary, dressed in a short, black dress, complementing her dark black hair. Her hair fell lose around her shoulders. The collars of her dress were low and revealing the outline of her breasts. She looked extremely pretty with the dim moonlight shining on her hair.
“Hey Lucas.” She slipped her thin arms around him, pulling him in an embrace. Lucas reciprocated though he was a little surprised.
“Everything okay? It’s 1am.”
“I was scared to go home,” Mary admitted. “Can you drive me home?”
“Of course. Let me get my keys.”
Mary tagged along with him as he went to fetch his keys, holding his arm the whole time.
“Mary, are you okay?” he asked. “Why are you scared?”
“Stebbins tried to corner me again today.”
“When?”
“At the party I was at. And I didn’t have my car and all my friends were too drunk to drive. When I started to walk back home, I thought someone was following me. So I came here instead.”
“Wasn’t Ella with you?”
“She didn’t come. Donna was there but I couldn’t find her and her phone was switched off.”
“Let’s get you home then,” Lucas said, draping an arm around her.
The car ride was a quiet one. Mary seemed to be lost in thought and Lucas didn’t have much to say. When they reached her apartment, Ella greeted them at the door. She was dressed in an oversized T shirt and pajamas. Mary bid them goodbye as soon as she entered the house and retired to bed.
“Nice shirt,” Lucas commented as he and Ella sat on the couch. He noticed that she had just showered and her hair smelled of almond butter again- the signature smell.
“It’s Patrick’s’,” Ella replied without missing a beat.
“Is it as unexciting as he is?”
Ella rolled her eyes. “I’m going to kill Adam.”
“But really, Scott. I would have thought you’d tell me about your relationship problems. I’m offended.”
Ella sighed. “I haven’t really got the time to tell you.”
“Are you unhappy?” Lucas asked. He wanted to see Ella happy but he knew he would feel a mirthful happiness if Patrick failed to make Ella happy. He reminded himself that he did not like Ella anymore.
Ella sighed again.
“I don’t know. You know how I am, Luke. I have very specific ideas about love and relationships and I feel like… I feel like I’m being somewhat of a hypocrite by not following those ideas because… because I believe in them so, so strongly. Patrick doesn’t fulfill any of those. At times I feel like I’m just waiting for that one fight to happen so I can… I can have an excuse to break up. Because there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. It’s actually perfect. Except that I don’t want such a dull love life. He’s too… proper, if that’s the right word. And I even feel terrible saying this because… because he hasn’t done anything wrong. That’s the worst part. He’s been so good to me. But then… I’m the one who always advocated for happiness in a relationship. And even though he hasn’t done anything wrong, I’m not happy with him. I mean, I’m not unhappy but I’m not happy either. And that’s… that’s just wasted investment in a relationship. But I don’t know how to end it or even if I should end it at all or not. Maybe it won’t be fair to him at all. It’s all so complicated and to be honest, I’m scared of complicated.” She stopped then and breathed, as if she had been holding it all in for days.
And nothing had changed. She was still too good for words and he was still helpless. Months of pretending to not feel a thing for her came crashing around him at that moment. He had always known there was no chance for him and that hadn’t changed either. And she was scared of complicated and she would only be confused by what he had to say. So that took precedent over anything else Lucas wanted.
“Ella, it’s alright to admit you aren’t happy,” Lucas answered at last.
“This is the first time that I did.”
Lucas sighed. “What are you going to do about it then?”
“I was hoping you’d have the answer.”
Lucas shook his head. “I can’t… I can’t exactly give you proper advice about this. I mean, given our history, if I tell you to break up with him, it will just give the wrong meaning and I would hate to do that. But I won’t tell you to stay in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling. I mean, I can’t say much. I’ve never been in a functional relationship. But… but when I do settle down, I would want it to be with someone who can… who can make my life better than what it was without them. And if they aren’t doing that, I would really reconsider my choices. Having sa
id that, Patrick may be too much of a Prince Charming and too lovesick but he’s a nice guy. He’s a genuinely nice guy. So… so the only advice I can give to you is that… think about it, Ella. But put yourself first.”
Ella was quiet for a few seconds before nodding slowly.
“Thank you, Luke,” she replied. She scooted closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and they sat back, completely comfortable in each other’s company. Mary had often commented on how comfortable the two were with intimate gestures, despite being friends. Ella had always felt at ease with Lucas, knowing he would not take the wrong meaning out of any gesture. She could feel his heartbeat under her ear as they fell into a nice silence.
“How’s Mary?” Ella asked.
“She’s alright. I was going to ask you the same question.”
“She seems fine. Still a little shaken.”
“Hmm, she’ll be fine.” Lucas’s left hand rested on her arm and his thumb made soft circles on the outside of her arm.
“She likes you, you know?” Ella asked softly.
“Mary?”
“Yeah.”
“Nah, she doesn’t. It’s just an instinct because I apparently saved her from the bad guy.”
“You did save her from the bad guy.”
“Yeah, yeah. I was just doing what was right. Would have done the same if it was anyone else.”
“She thinks it was very heroic.”
Lucas chuckled. Ella raised her head to look up at him.
“I think I’ll end things with Patrick.”
Lucas nodded slowly. “Well, that’s up to you. I have no comments to make.”
Pulling herself to sit straight, Ella removed her from his side and brought her legs under her chin.
“I think it’s for the best.”
“Did you draw those?” Lucas asked, nodding towards the new paintings that hung next to the door. Ella noticed the subtle change of subject but did not comment.
“Yes.”
“Is it the last Friday of the month already?” Ella put up new paintings every last Friday of the month.
“Yep.”
The next day, Mary found herself in quite a dilemma. She had found Ella and Lucas asleep on the couch early in the morning. Ella was curled up with her head on his lap while Lucas was leaning on the reclining couch. Mary had been unable to sleep and had come outside for water. It was 4am and she assumed they had fallen asleep while chatting. Gently, she woke Ella up. Realizing what had happened, Ella had seen the time and gasped.
“I have such a long day tomorrow, I should have slept properly. I won’t even be able to function…” Ella started to say but Mary hushed her.
“It’s alright, you still have a couple of hours. Go on, go to sleep. I’ll wake Lucas. He can have the couch.”
Ella nodded, too sleepy to notice Mary’s torn expression. Mary had always noticed the strange friendship between Ella and Lucas so this should not have come as a surprise to her. Ella and Lucas fell asleep in the same room often and claimed that they had only slept (Mary did not doubt it). They spent hours together. They fought as if they were a couple and they fought quite often.
Mary gently woke Lucas. When he inquired about Ella, Mary explained that she had just gone to bed.
“I’m sorry,” she said in a hushed tone as she pulled out sheets and blankets for him. “You came all the way here to drop me.”
“It’s alright, Mary,” Lucas replied sleepily. “Anytime.” He kicked off his shoes and pulled over the blanket that Mary handed him. She switched off the lights and walked back to his couch.
“You’ll be fine?” she asked.
“Will you?” he replied.
Mary smiled though she knew he could not see it. Bending down, Mary placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, Lucas,” she whispered before straightening up and departing for her room. Lucas rolled over, not paying much attention to it.
Mary felt restless as she tried to focus on the lecture at hand. She even ignored the extremely handsome boy who was eyeing her throughout the class. As soon as the class ended, Mary exited the lecture hall and made up her mind to miss the rest of her classes. She was pacing around in front of the library when she saw Lucas’s friend Adam exiting it, with a cigarette in hand.
“Hey, Adam!” she called. Adam spotted her and walked towards her, one hand in his pocket. She walked the rest of the distance to meet him.
“How can I help you?” Adam asked.
“Is Lucas in the library?”
“Nope, he’s at the California Post.” That was the magazine Lucas worked for.
“Oh.”
“I can give him a message if you want.”
“Just… just tell him I was looking for him.”
“Right,” Adam said and started to walk again but Mary called out his name again. He turned, eye brows raised.
“I want to ask you something,” Mary said.
“Yes?”
“Is Lucas- I mean, is Lucas…” Mary trailed away, not sure how to start.
“Is Lucas what?” Adam asked.
Mary struggled to explain again. Adam watched her, amused as she failed. He took a puff of the cigarette before speaking.
“Mary, if you’re trying to ask me whether Lucas is still crazy after Ella, you need only ask, not stammer.”
Mary glared at him. Adam only smirked.
“Alright, that’s what I wanted to ask. How did you know, anyway?”
Adam shrugged. “I’m observant.”
“Observant?”
“You clearly like Lucas. He used to like Ella. Ella is your best friend. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.” He took another puff of the cigarette.
“Well, you didn’t answer me.”
“I don’t know, Mary,” Adam answered and Mary didn’t fail to notice the hint of annoyance in his voice now. “Why don’t you find out?” And then he walked away. Mary frowned.
The truth was that despite Lucas’ attempts at trying to get over Ella, despite his claims that he had succeeded, despite it all, Adam was Lucas’ best friend and he could see right through it. It was obvious to him that nothing had changed. Adam was still in love with Ella and every girl who had come into his life had been an attempt to forget Ella. Mary was a nice twist to the story, Adam thought. When Ella finally admits her feelings for Lucas, he wondered what would become of the new Mary character.
Chapter 5
“You sent my paintings to the California Post without my permission?!” Ella’s voice was dangerously high as she threw a copy of the magazine in front of Lucas.
“Well, they weren’t really doing much lying around in your bedroom.”
“How dare you send them in without my permission?”
“It’s because you can’t see how good you are. Someone had to do it.”
Ella took a deep calming breath. She had been an artist since she was a little girl, drawing everything that ever came to her mind, bothered her, touched her and made her smile or cry or laugh. At first, she had been afraid to show it to anyone for fear of not being appreciated. Lucas had stumbled upon them back when he was in high school and encouraged her to share them with other people. Ella had worked as a designer for a local T shirt company after she displayed her paintings at the school exhibition on Lucas’ insistence.
“I don’t need you to help me succeed in my career as an artist, Lucas,” Ella said angrily.
“Why are you lashing out like that? I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong?! Don’t you see it? This is a violation of my privacy rights. You can’t use my paintings without asking me.”
“I didn’t use them!”
“What do you call this then?” Picking up the newspaper, Ella stormed out of his apartment.
She knew she was being hard of Lucas but it had been a bad week and it was finally taking its toll on her. She was struggling to keep up with classes because of the extra credits she was taking t
his semester. Her boyfriend was making her increasingly unhappy despite not doing anything wrong which left her feeling extremely confused and guilty. Her father was insisting that she should visit home on the weekend and even though she wanted to, she thought it would be better to get work done. He was always away for work; he worked as a travel writer for a major travel magazine and loved his job more than he loved spending time with his family which consisted solely of Ella. Her step mother, Liana, had passed away nearly six months ago and with her half year death anniversary approaching, Ella had been extremely irritable. In the midst of all her thoughts, she did not realize that she ran into Donna.
“What are you so angry about?” Donna asked. Ella noticed that she was dressed up formally in a neat skirt and buttoned up blouse.
“Why are you so dressed up?” Ella asked. “And what are you doing here anyway?”
“I have a presentation for class. I saw your car parked outside and I needed a ride.”
As Ella drove, she ranted on about Lucas and how he violated her privacy rights. Donna did not have much patience for it and told Ella to shut up so she can concentrate on the notes she was reading. When they parted outside the university’s parking lot, Ella was looking forward to some time alone in her solar systems class where none of her friends could bother her. She was mistaken however. Stepping out of her car, she was met by Patrick. Donna rolled her eyes and walked away.
“Hello, beautiful,” Patrick said. Ella tried and failed to smile at him but Patrick did not seem to notice as he kissed her. She backed up against her car which made it more difficult to avoid it. She kissed him back before pulling away.
“Are you okay?” Patrick asked as Ella slid out from where she was trapped between his body and her car. Freeing herself, she tried to act more normal.
“Yes. I am,” she said unconvincingly.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked, looking worried. That only annoyed Ella even more.
“No, you didn’t, Patrick. I just want to be alone.”
One thing Patrick had never understood about her was her introvert personality. Whenever she needed space, she could trust that Patrick would not understand and would jump to conclusions about what he may have done to annoy her. Lucas never does that, Ella found herself thinking. Lucas always understands when I go into my shell, Lucas knows when to leave me alone, Lucas knows when I’m actually upset and when I’m just quiet. She shook her head to clear it. Why was she comparing Lucas to Patrick? Patrick was her boyfriend. Lucas was only a friend…
Romance: The College Bad Boy: A Young Adult Romance Page 36