Snapping out of the trace, Ella smiled at Patrick again who was still looking at her worriedly.
“I’ll see you later,” she said, turning to walk away.
“Wait, Ella. What did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything,” she said irritably. “It’s me. I need time alone. I’ll see you later.”
She walked away and suddenly felt guilty for being rude. He couldn’t see inside her the way Lucas could and understand every bit she was thinking or feeling. She stopped short when she realized she was comparing them again. Annoyed at herself, she entered her solar systems class and immersed herself in the world of planets and stars where no human being could bother her.
As Donna exited her presentation, she came across a frustrated looking Mary.
“I’m in a moral dilemma,” Mary announced as soon as she saw Donna.
“I don’t care,” Donna replied.
Mary rolled her eyes. “You have to care. You don’t have a choice.”
“Go talk to Ella.”
“I would if she wasn’t the cause of my dilemma.”
Donna frowned. “Are you sleeping with Patrick?”
Mary slapped her arm. “Of course not!”
“What is it then?”
“I want to date Lucas.”
Donna stared at her and then nodded slowly. “I see your dilemma.”
“So you also think Lucas and Ella are secretly in love, don’t you?” Mary concluded miserably.
“No,” Donna shook her head. “I only mean… things can get complicated.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, Mary,” Donna said patiently. “Lucas spent a good part of high school pursuing… pursuing another girl.”
“Ella.”
“Yes.”
“But that was before.”
Donna sighed. “I don’t know, Mary. Sometimes, I feel like nothing has changed. Lucas is in the team with me, I know him pretty well.”
“So you think he still has feelings for Ella?”
“No, I didn’t say that. I just meant… Lucas hasn’t really been in a serious relationship for… for ages. Which is curious.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t. Just make sure you’re careful. I think you should tell Ella… whatever you play on doing, just let Ella know.”
Mary made up her mind. After days of feeling restless and fighting with her better instincts, she figured that she need not fight herself so much. What will happen, will happen. She had never been one to deny herself the pleasure of what she desired. Lucas was a handsome, single man and she did not need to feel so terrible about liking him. She knew he practiced basketball every evening which was usually empty around that time. Approaching the court, Mary felt confident. However, Lucas was not playing basketball like she expected him to be. Instead, he was sitting in the middle of the court and scribbling on a notebook. Mary had seen him writing quite often but she had never appreciated the picture it painted. Somehow, his writing talent only added to the allure of his basketball skills. His hair fell into his eyes as he frowned in concentration. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Mary approached him silently.
“The Chevrolet?” Mary read over his shoulder. Lucas looked up and smiled, genuinely happy to see her. He shut the book and stood up to greet her.
“Just working on something new.”
“The Chevrolet?” Mary said again, thinking how that fit. Something was bothering her.
“Yes.”
“What’s the story about?”
“A man who has a ship called The Chevrolet. He loves it dearly but one day it sank.”
“Kind of like the Titanic?”
Lucas laughed. “Not even close.”
Mary moved closer to him. “Lucas…” she began.
She likes you, you know.
Ella’s voice rang in his head. Lucas had suspected it too. He liked Mary as far as liking went. She was fun, interesting and easy to get along with. She was a 21 year old guy’s dream. She wouldn’t be difficult like Ella was. Ella drove him crazy. Ella was out of his league. She would never like him.
He closed the distance between them as their lips pressed together. Mary placed her hand behind his neck, pulling him closer. Thoughts of Ella in his head died, guilt at the back of her mind faded and the kiss deepened.
Suddenly, they found themselves at the back of Mary’s car and their clothes were considerably lighter than before. The parking lot was empty so they were sure they won’t be seen but Mary covered the windows with her window blinds just in case. They exchanged urgent kisses. Lucas’s shirt lay discarded on the floor and Mary’s underwear seemed to be missing. She struggled to remove her dress in the small space of the backseat of her car. Once discarded, Lucas’ lips traces the tops of her breasts visible from her black lace bra. Mary pulled down his jeans enough to release his erection. She cried out his name as he entered her and the back of her mind registered that she was having the incredible sex she always dreamt off. Mary had had many men in her life but only one or two incredible experiences. Others left her feeling satisfied but not entirely mind blown. Lucas was doing exactly just that. Her hands reached out to grab the door handle behind her as he continued to thrust into her hips, while his mouth doing wonderful things to her breasts. He lifted her up by the thighs easily and suddenly, she was on top. He was sitting up on the seat and guiding her hips up. Mary found it incredibly sexy that a man initiated her being on top because frankly, she loved being on top. Regaining her balance, she grabbed his shoulders and begun to ride him, slowly at first. Lucas was tall enough and Mary was petite enough so that their current position brought her face to the same level as his. Mary kissed him briefly before attacking his neck with her mouth. She bit down on his neck as Lucas helped her increase her pace.
Minutes later, Mary still clung to him as they disconnected. She rested her head against his as they both struggled to regain their breaths.
“Wow,” she barely whispered. “That was… that was incredible.”
“Totally worth missing my classes for,” Lucas joked.
“Where have you been my whole life?” Mary asked. Been chasing my best friend, she thought to herself.
“Too invisible for you to notice.”
“I can say the same to you,” Mary said, rolling her eyes. “But I plan to keep you now.”
“Do you?” Lucas said playfully.
“Hmm.”
“Then will you take me out, Mary Shields?”
“I’ll think about it,” Mary mused. And then she pressed her lips to his again. “After that mind-blowing sex, any girl would agree.”
As they dressed, Mary remembered Ella again but pushed the thought out of her head. Besides her, Lucas did the same but for entirely different reasons.
Chapter 6
18th September.
It had been 6 months today. Lucas remembered 18th April as if it was yesterday. He had been with Ella in the hospital for days as they all waited for Liana to finally be at peace. Lucas, he paced around in his house, knowing that Ella must be feeling terrible. Liana had been the first mother figure in Ella’s life and they had hardly spent four years together before she was diagnosed with cancer.
Making up his mind, Lucas drove to Ella’s house. As suspected, he found her curled up in her bed with a hoodie pulled over her eyes. A huge canvas painting that she had been working on was lying forgotten on the floor. It was a picture of a middle aged woman looking outside a window.
“Who let you in?” Ella asked, her voice barely audible when Lucas entered her room.
“You gave me a key,” Lucas reminded her. He sat next to Ella and gently pulled her hood back to see her face. She looked pale and her eyes betrayed everything she was feeling. “I thought you might need a friend.”
“I’m sorry I screamed at you,” Ella whispered.
“It’s the 6th month. I understand.”
Ella closed her eyes as a tear
escaped. Around Lucas was the only time she allowed herself to mourn Liana. Without him, she felt as though she would drive herself crazy with grief if she allowed herself to cry. So she put her pain into paintings. She sat up as Lucas took her into his arms and broke down for the first time in four months. He held her silently as she sobbed on his shoulders. After what seemed like hours, when she was out of tears, he still held her. He was leaning back on her pillow and she was leaning on him, her eyes closed as she calmed down.
“She was the only parent I had most of the time,” Ella said softly. “Dad was always away for work. When Liana moved in, it was such a nice change.”
Lucas didn’t say anything but listened quietly. He always knew when to listen and when to respond. Unlike Patrick. Patrick always felt the need to respond and console her. Since no words were enough, it only made Ella angry. She was vaguely aware as a part of her brain made this comparison.
“I used to go visit home every single weekend when Liana was here.”
Lucas tightened his grip on her arm.
“Hot chocolate?” he asked. Ella smiled at that. Ever since they were children, Lucas’s hot chocolate had always solved all of Ella’s moods; sad, angry, frustrated.
Minutes later, Lucas entered her room carrying two cups of hot chocolate. Ella watched as Lucas placed them on the table besides her. His phone beeped and he pulled it out to read the message, with a slight frown on his forehead. One hand idly rubbed his jaw line.
In that moment, Ella realized that she would very much like to kiss Lucas.
It was a moment of clarity that had all her doubts erased. Despite feeling completely broken and mournful, she registered that she liked Lucas. She really, really, liked Lucas.
Lucas had liked her before and may like her again with a little encouragement. She thought back to all the times that Lucas had asked her out when they were in high school. They had been children and he had been arrogant, self-centered, thinking that every girl would be lining up to date him- and they were, save for Ella.
Lucas dropped his phone in his pocket again and handed Ella one of the cups. Ella accepted it, still in a daze.
There was a knock on the door and a new figure entered: Mary. Lucas turned around to see her. Suddenly, nothing made sense. Mary wrapped her thin, sun-kissed arms around Lucas’s neck and kissed him on the lips.
And Lucas kissed her back.
And someone had punched Ella in the stomach or so it felt. But another part at the back of her head told her this was expected; Mary had taken a liking for Lucas and she wasn’t one to suppress her desires.
They broke apart and Mary turned to Ella.
“Lucas and I are together,” she announced happily.
“Well, that much is obvious,” Ella replied, surprised at the indifference and clarity of her voice.
Lucas didn’t look as confident as Mary. “I was going to tell you today but-”
“I understand,” Ella smiled. “You two, have fun. I want to be left alone.”
Mary’s smile faltered. She was too immersed in her own life to remember that this day was important to Ella. No, that was always Lucas. Lucas was the one who remembered. Lucas was the one who cared. Maybe that was why Ella had been unusually attached to him. Maybe that was why she hadn’t been able to find happiness with Patrick. There was always someone else who made her happy. And initially, Ella had rejected him multiple times for various reasons: he took advantage of his popularity, he treated others rudely, he thought he was entitled to anything he wanted. But that was all in the past. Lucas had changed and Ella had recognized it too late. And of course, he had the right to date any girl he wanted. Mary was good for him; fun, pretty and jolly. She didn’t have any issues in her life the way Ella did. She was content and happy. No, Mary was perfect for Lucas.
“Are you okay?” Mary asked, worriedly.
“I’ll stay with Ella,” Lucas told Mary but Ella cut across them.
“I’m fine. I want to be alone. I’ll talk to you later, Luke.” She managed a smile before turning away from them. Moments later, she heard the door close.
She wanted to sleep and not think of anything else.
She wanted to go somewhere far away.
Had every rejection felt like this to him back in high school?
Memories of their senior year of high school came back to her.
“Hey, Scott,” Lucas had said as he caught up with her in the grand corridor that led to the entrance.
“Yes, Lucas,” Ella had responded coolly.
“Are you ready to admit your undying love for me now?” Lucas had asked. Behind him, Ella could see the school cheerleaders eyeing them.
“No, but I think those girls are,” Ella said, nodding to where they stood.
“Ella,” Lucas had sighed dramatically. “What’s the fun in dating someone who’s…easy?”
Ella rolled her eyes.
“This is a game to you, isn’t it?”
“A game I seem to be losing up until now.”
“And you’ll always lose,” Ella had told him before stalking away.
Is this what it had felt like? Did it hurt him the same way as it hurt her now? Or was he indifferent to it, always? Was it always just a game to him?
That was two years ago and they were both immature. Things were different now. Everyone moves on. She would move on because he did too.
If this was really what it felt like, she would have been so much nicer to him.
Chapter 7
“Is something wrong, sweetheart?” Patrick asked for the tenth time that day.
“No, Patrick,” Ella said.
“You seem aloof,” Patrick pressed on to her annoyance.
“I’m sorry,” Ella replied. He leaned forward to kiss her again, pressing his lips to hers. Ella kissed him back a bit but for the most part, her mind was still on Liana, Lucas and Mary. Patrick’s hand trailed up her inner thigh and he pushed up her skirt, trying to revoke a reaction out of her. He kissed her neck. Ella gently pulled away.
“Patrick, stop,” she said. “I can’t do this anymore.”
He sat up. They were seated at the back of his car where he had parked on top of a hill so they can “watch the sunset”.
“What have I done?” he asked. He looked like he was ready to panic.
“Nothing. That’s the problem. You’ve done nothing.”
Patrick only looked more confused.
“Liana died today, six months ago,” Ella continued. Patrick’s eyes widened.
“I didn’t-” he begun.
“You didn’t know. I get it. That’s the problem, Patrick. You know nothing about my life except for what I did all day. Why did we start dating in the first place?”
“Is this about Liana?” he said stupidly.
Ella sighed, losing her patience now. “No. It isn’t. I just need some space. So much has been happening and I need some time. Can you give me that?”
Patrick swallowed but then he nodded. “Okay,” he said, managing a weak smile. Ella touched his cheek and leaned forward to kiss it. Then, she stepped out of the car and took the passenger seat. Patrick got behind the wheel and drove her home. They didn’t speak the rest of the ride.
Ella hesitated as she was about to enter the library. She had seen Mary and Lucas go inside and was apprehensive of what to expect. Hiding behind the entrance door, she peered inside.
“Spying, are we?” a voice behind her said, making her jump. She turned around to see Adam standing there, a lazy grin on his face.
“Can you do me a favor?” she whispered.
“Sure,” he whispered back. “Why are we whispering?”
“Can you go get this book for me?” Ella shoved a paper with a name scribbled on it. “I don’t want to go inside.”
“Sure. Why don’t you want to go inside?”
“Help now, questions later.”
Right that moment, Lucas appeared around the corner. He was alone, which was a relief for Ella. She pushed Adam ahea
d and retreated from the door.
“What are you doing here?” Lucas asked Adam suspiciously.
“Are you suggesting I can’t be seen in the library?” Adam replied, dramatically.
“I once asked you to get me a book from the library. You asked me where the library is.”
“Fair point,” Adam replied. “Well, I just came to get a book…”
“For whom?”
“Myself.”
“You don’t read.”
“Don’t be mean, Lucas,” Adam replied, feigning hurt.
Ella watched as Lucas took the paper from him.
“For Ella?” he asked, frowning.
“No, for myself,” Adam replied unconvincingly.
“That’s Ella’s writing.”
“She wrote the book down for me.”
“You don’t take astronomy,” Lucas pointed out. “This is an astronomy book.”
“Alright, it’s for Ella,” Adam said. Ella imagined him rolling his eyes but his back was towards her. Lucas was about to reply when Mary appeared.
“The girlfriend arrives,” Adam said sarcastically.
“Hi, Adam,” Mary said cheerfully.
“Hullo,” Adam replied nonchalantly. “I’ll be going now.” He walked inside the library.
“What’s up with him?” Mary asked Lucas. Lucas shrugged.
“Well, do you want to go back to our table?”
“I’m sure our books are missing us terribly,” Lucas replied.
“Books we aren’t going to be reading.”
Mary grabbed his hand and led him back behind the shelf.
Moments later, Adam appeared with her book.
“Thanks,” Ella whispered. “Let’s leave now.”
They walked down the corridor and out into the grounds before Adam spoke up again.
Romance: The College Bad Boy: A Young Adult Romance Page 37