The Dashwood Sisters Tell All

by Beth Pattillo

  I shot her a look, but she ignored me. It was one thing to confess to Ellen that I’d blabbed to Ethan. I didn't want to have to tell Mrs. Parrot as well.

  “I would agree,” Mrs. Parrot said, “except that if we should find the diary, we would have very different ends in mind for it.” She looked at Ellen and then at me. “But perhaps we could come to an agreement.”

  “Good.” Ellen looked at her watch. “It's time for lunch. Shall we join the others inside?”

  We took our glasses with us, and I followed Ellen and Mrs. Parrot into the pub. My sister was up to something; I could tell. But I wasn't quite sure what it was.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  After lunch, Ellen fell into step beside me as we walked from the pub down the lane to Gilbert White's house. Since the moment that Mrs. Parrot convinced me that she didn't have Cassandra's diary, I had known what I had to do. I had to tell Ellen the truth about spilling the beans to Ethan.

  “She doesn't know about the riddles,” Ellen said without preamble, before I could even begin to confess my misdeed.

  “Oh.” I hadn't thought of that. “But if we know more than she does, why did you offer—”

  “Look, if she can help us find Cassandra's diary, we can get our hands on it long enough to double-check the riddles. Then she can have it.”

  “But we’ll lose the diary.”

  “We’ll lose that diary.”

  I was confused for a moment, and then comprehension dawned. “Because we know, now, what the clues lead to,” I said. We shared a knowing smile.

  “Jane's diary,” Ellen said. “It has to be. Cassandra must have hidden it somewhere. Those riddles are the map to the treasure.” She grinned at me. “We might lose the battle, but we’ll win the war.”

  Jane Austen's diary. The bidding would be epic. “Are you really willing to try and sell it, if we find it?”

  “I am now.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  She hesitated. “I think Daniel has the diary.”

  “What?” But Ethan—

  “Mom sent him on this tour to help us, but I think he decided to help himself to the diary instead. He's the only one who knew about it, other than Mrs. Parrot.”

  My heart sank. “Oh, Ell. You didn't tell me. I’m so sorry.” Did that mean it hadn't been Ethan after all? At least my feelings for Ethan had met a quick demise, unlike Ellen's long-standing affection for Daniel. She walked beside me, her head held high, too high, and I could tell how much she was hurting.

  “He never wanted me,” she said. “I should have known that from the beginning.”

  I didn't know what to say, how to offer her any kind of comfort. I’d encouraged her to throw herself at him, and look how it had turned out.

  Ellen stopped on the sidewalk and grabbed my arm. “I want you to have your dream, Meems. I do. I never meant to suggest otherwise. I just—”

  “What?”

  “I guess I was hoping you’d come back home to Dallas. That if you didn't have the money for the boutique, you’d have to.”

  “You wanted me to fail?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I just wanted you to be my sister again.”

  “We don't have to sell it if we find it, you know,” I said, but my words sounded pretty weak.

  Ellen looped her arm through mine. “Actually, I think we do. Whatever we find, I think it should benefit both of us somehow.”

  “Only if you’re sure.” Because now that she was certain, I wasn't quite as much.

  “I think the Austen sisters would understand,” she replied, but I had my doubts. It sounded to me as if Cassandra and Jane Austen had gone to great lengths to protect each other, just as Ellen and I were beginning to do.

  When we reached the Wakes, the home of Gilbert White, I lingered with the group while a docent gave a brief overview of the house and its famous occupant. I watched Mimi standing at the front of the group and felt a small stab of pride. She was holding her head up well in the wake of Ethan's defection. In the past, a romantic setback would have meant at least two days in bed with pints of Rocky Road and piles of Oreos.

  The docent was still talking when I spied Daniel slipping out the side door into the garden. I followed him down the brick walk until we were far enough from the house not to be overheard.

  “Daniel, wait. We need to talk.” He wasn't going to get away that easily.

  He turned to face me. “Ellen—”

  “I want the truth, Daniel.”

  He shut his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, I could see how troubled he was. “I should have told you the truth from the beginning.”

  “The truth?” This was it then. He had stolen the diary. I couldn't even look at him. I turned away and fought the desire to run into the garden just beyond where we stood.

  “So what was the plan?” I said, biting off each word. I didn't need to hear his confession to know what he’d done. “Once you had me hooked, you’d convince me to turn it over to you?” I shook my head. “No, that couldn't have been it, because you got impatient and took it out of my room.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The diary, of course. You took it, and now you’re telling me you’re sorry. Why?”

  “Ellen, don't be ridiculous.” His eyes narrowed. “I didn't take it. When did the diary go missing?”

  “Like you don't know.” Why was I even standing there?

  “I didn't take it.” Twin furrows etched his forehead, and he clenched his fist at his side. “I lied to you about something, yes, but I’m not a thief.”

  The first twinges of doubt squeezed my heart.

  “You’re the only one who knows about the diary besides me and Mimi.” I decided not to mention Mrs. Parrot. “It had to be you.”

  His lips tightened into a thin line. “That's really what you think of me?”

  And then understanding dawned. “It was you talking to Mrs. Parrot at the Vyne.”

  Slowly, with great reluctance, he nodded. “We thought you might have overheard us.”

  “You told her about it?”

  “She already knew. Or guessed, anyway. I’ve run across Mrs. Parrot before in my business. My presence here made her suspicious that someone on the tour had something valuable.”

  “A Jane Austen kind of valuable.”

  “Yes.”

  Despite the hot breeze against my face, I shivered. “Why didn't you tell me?”

  He took a step closer to me. “Because I was breaking a promise to you. But your mother hired me to help you. I wanted to pick Mrs. Parrot's brain, in a roundabout way.”

  “And did it work?”

  He shrugged. “I didn't find out anything that I didn't already know.”

  Did he really expect me to believe him? “And what do you know? The diary's value on the open market?”

  His shoulders stiffened. “I know that I care about you. I didn't just come here because your mother hired me. I came to see you, to find out if there was still that connection between us.”

  He paused, took a deep breath, and swallowed. “Look, Ell. I came here for you, not that stupid diary.” He reached for my hands. “Nothing else. Just you.”

  I had waited so many years to hear those words, only now they didn't mean what they once would have.

  “I don't believe you. I think you stole it.”

  His face turned white. “Are you seriously saying—”

  “I haven't spent all these years nursing a broken heart just to throw it under your feet and watch you trample on it again.”

  “I never—”

  “You did.” I smiled ruefully through my tears. “You didn't mean to. But you did it all the same.”

  “Ellen—”

  “I’m going to catch up with the group,” I said and moved to step past him. He caught my arm.

  “Don't throw this away, Ell.”

  I actually laughed. “The only thing I’m throwing away here, Daniel, is you.”

  I
couldn't have hoped for a better exit line, so I took advantage of it. I shook off his hold and headed across the lawn, away from the house, thankful for the support of my hiking boots and the way they made me feel as if I mastered the ground with each step. I needed something to make me feel that way.

  “Ellen…”

  The wind carried Daniel's voice behind me. I hoped he wouldn't follow me, because already my cheeks were awash with tears, and my nose was starting to run.

  I reached the back of the lawn and darted up a path into the woods. Then I stopped and dug a bandanna out of my pack. It was stiff with perspiration, but I still managed to wipe my eyes and blow my nose. The heat would account for my flushed and disheveled state. I was not about to give anyone any reason to suspect that I was upset.

  My face restored, I slung my pack over my shoulder and went to find the group.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  The sisterly camaraderie that Mimi and I had established lasted through the remainder of the afternoon. Later, the van and the taxi ferried us from Selborne into Winchester and deposited us at our final destination, the Hotel du Vin.

  I couldn't believe that the tour was almost over. We had the farewell dinner that evening, a tour of Winchester in the morning, and then Tom would drop us off at the train station.

  Mimi and I agreed to settle in and then meet in the hotel's garden before we dressed for dinner. She hadn't pressed me to tell her about what had happened with Daniel, but as we sat at a table beneath a large umbrella, the musical sound of flowing water soothing us, I spilled the events of the afternoon.

  Mimi's eyes widened. “Here you have the man you’ve always loved, traveling across an ocean to win you, and all you can think is that he's after the diary?”

  “What else am I supposed to think?” He hadn't exactly been truthful.

  Mimi gave me a stern look. “Tell me what he said. Exactly.”

  “He said that Mom contacted him and asked him to come on the tour so that he could help us with returning the diary.”

  “And?”

  “He said that he agreed, but just as an excuse to see me again.”

  “That's bad because why?”

  I sighed. “What if he's the one who stole the diary?”

  Mimi leaned forward. “What if he's not?” She stopped and bit her lip. “You can't afford to be wrong about this. Because if Daniel didn't take the diary, then you’re throwing away happiness with both hands.”

  That kept me quiet for a long moment.

  “Look, Ellen,” Mimi said, “heaven knows that I’m no expert at romance. I mean, my week hasn't exactly been a relationship success. But don't send Daniel packing because he made a mistake by tipping off Mrs. Parrot.” She paused. “Or are you still holding Melissa against him?”

  “I admit it. I want to be the only woman he's ever loved.”

  “So your feelings aren't exactly unconditional. Is your pride really worth giving up love?”

  “You think I’m crazy to tell Daniel to leave me alone.”

  “Crazy? That's debatable.” She smiled, and I felt a faint echo of a smile on my own lips. “But foolish? Yes.” She paused. “For so long, I’ve thought we were complete opposites, but we’re not. We both fell into the same trap—trying to find a love that's perfect. There's no such thing.”

  I wasn't used to Mimi being the font of wisdom in our relationship. “Of course there's no such thing.”

  “We know that intellectually. But Mom infected us with her Jane Austen adoration.”

  I looked around at the beautiful garden. “So where does that leave us?” I asked.

  “I think it leaves us right where we started.”

  “On Sunday, you mean, when we arrived at Oakley Hall?”

  Mimi shook her head. “No. I mean it leaves us right back at that little house in Dallas with Mom. Wondering if we’ll ever find Mr. Right.”

  “No way,” I said. “No more Mr. Right talk, ever.”

  “What about Mr. Maybe?”

  “Not even that. If nothing else, I’ve realized that romance and I don't mix.”

  “I don't think Daniel would agree.”

  “I thought you said we were starting over.” Mimi could worry a subject like a dog could a bone when she put her mind to it. “Daniel is in the past.”

  “I didn't say we were starting over. I said we were right back where we started. There's a big difference.”

  “I don't understand.”

  Mimi looked at me. Really looked at me. “We have a chance to do it right this time, Ellen. The blinders have come off. We might have worn different styles, but we both had them on. Now, I think, we can see our lives differently.”

  To be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to see my life any way but as the same comfortable old rut I’d left when I came to England.

  “What if it's too late?” I said, trying not to let the panic I felt seep into my voice. “Maybe we’ve missed our chance.”

  Mimi frowned. “That's the point, Ell. Maybe we get more than one chance.”

  I could tell she was thinking of Tom. “And it's different for you this time?” I couldn't help the note of disbelief in my voice.

  Mimi actually blushed. “Yes,” she said in a strong, clear voice. “I think it is.”

  Tom Braddock was hardly the knight in shining armor that Mimi had always talked about, but he was a good man. A strong man. A man who adored my sister.

  A sudden burst of loneliness washed over me.

  “Give Daniel another chance,” Mimi said. “If we find out he took the diary, all bets are off. But I don't think he did.”

  “You sound so sure.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not sure of anything. Not anymore. But…” She grimaced. “Look, sis, I’d bet my last dollar that Daniel's not our culprit.”

  “Then who is?”

  “I don't know. But if I were you, I’d trust Daniel. Don't let your jealousy over Melissa ruin things between you two.”

  “I’ll think about it.” An easy enough promise to keep. I’d done little but think about Daniel for the past five days. “It would just be a lot easier if I knew where that diary was.”

  Mimi stood up. “Come on. We need to get ready for the farewell dinner.” She took off across the garden, almost as if she were running from something. I glanced around, thinking that I might see Ethan lurking somewhere, but there was no sign of him.

  No doubt it was simply her frustration with me. I’d watched her throw away a good thing often enough to know how difficult a spectator sport that could be.

  Mimi loaned me a dress for the farewell dinner. The Mediterranean-blue chiffon had a deep V-neck, left my shoulders bare, and fell to the floor in soft pleats. I hoped it wasn't too dressy, but Mimi convinced me to go for it.

  Mimi's advice to me in the garden was having an effect. She was right, of course. No matter how much I’d tried not to be contaminated by my mother's Austen obsession, I hadn't avoided absorbing the idea of the perfect man being out there somewhere, if I could just find him. Or manage not to lose him. Daniel had shown himself to be imperfect, and that had scared me far more than the idea that he might have taken the diary.

  Was I willing to take a chance on an imperfect man? Or would I rather revel in my righteous indignation over his failure to live up to my inflated expectations?

  We returned to Chawton Great House for the final dinner. Tom had said it would be the perfect venue for our last meal together, and he was right. The dark-paneled dining room was virtually unchanged from Austen's day. The long table and chairs had actually belonged to Jane's brother Edward. Now it was fully set with beautiful china, sparkling crystal, shining silver, and centerpieces of enormous roses from the garden.

  “Jane herself would have eaten off this table,” Tom said with a grin, and all of us made appreciative noises. We all laughed, too, when several of the ladies took turns sitting in various chairs to see if they could “sense” her presence.

  The staff offered us small gl
asses of sherry before dinner, and I felt both glamorous and apprehensive. Daniel had been eyeing me since the ride over from Winchester, but he hadn't approached me yet. Tom and Mimi seemed as standoffish with each other as Daniel and I did, but I was determined not to interfere. There was no sign of Ethan, and I felt relieved on Mimi's behalf.

  I moved to a window that overlooked the front drive. The village church sat just at the gate to the house, its spire peeping out above the trees.

  Daniel came up to stand beside me. “Are there any views in England that you couldn't put on a postcard?” he said with a nod toward the church.

  “I think it's a legal requirement,” I said with a smile. I didn't really think he had stolen the diary. I didn't think it was Mrs. Parrot now, either. Which left me with no idea whatsoever as to whom the culprit might be.

  “Ellen, I wanted to apologize again for violating your trust.”

  “I should apologize too.” I couldn't quite look him in the eye. “I was…hurt.”

  “I should have told you I wanted to talk to Mrs. Parrot.”

  I held up a hand. “You don't have to explain. I think I understand. Or at least I’m beginning to.”

  “I’d always wondered, if I saw you again—”

  “Don’t.”

  He grimaced. “Don't apologize? Don't talk to you? Which is it?”

  “The first. As to the second, I think we actually have quite a lot of talking to do.”

  “We do?” He breathed a literal sigh of relief. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  I glanced around the room. “Not here though. Let's sneak out for a few minutes.”

  He glanced at his watch. “Dinner won't be for a little while yet. Come on.”

  I saw Tom notice our departure, but he didn't stop us. We slipped out of the house and headed around the side toward the rose garden we’d seen two days before. Neither of us said anything until we came to a stop on the terrace just outside the garden.

  Daniel took my hand in his, and my pulse raced. “I have a confession to make,” he said.

  “Another one?” His words did nothing to slow my heart rate.

  “Back in college, I knew that you were in love with me.”