Perilous Pleasures

by Patricia Watters

  Joanna eyed him with amusement. "Then there must be no single gypsies."

  Stefan laughed. "Actually, it's a myth that gypsies are unchaste. Sexual activity outside of marriage is taboo. So you see, Mrs. Janacek, we are now married."

  "Mrs. Janacek," she said dreamily. "I like the sound of that."

  "So do I," he said, gathering her in his arms. "So do I."

  She snuggled against him. The idea of being married to Stefan made her feel whole. Curled in his arms, she felt as if there was no one, and nothing else in the world but them. She tipped her face up and kissed him on the chin. "Married or not, you've spoiled me for any other man," she said. "I'm certain I could never feel anything close to what I felt last night when you made love to me. It was even better than in my fantasies."

  Stefan's hand began meandering over her body. "What fantasies?"

  "About making love to you in the dust of the arena."

  Stefan raised a dubious brow. "The dust of the arena?"

  "It started at the interview, you know, me at the top of the pavilion with the doves, you in the dust of the arena with the lions. But I was not with the doves. I was in the dust with you. Your... umm... well, lack of costume, except for the little vest and tight breeches, had my heart pumping, and I wondered if you were as heart-stopping below the waist as you were above."

  "And what have you decided about what's below my waist?"

  Her hand moved down to toy with the scar. "I think it's pretty... "

  He stared at her. "You think that thing below my waist is pretty?"

  She smiled. "Pretty magnificent, that is. In fact it exceeds all expectations."

  Stefan chuckled. "Well, I had a fantasy that day at the interview too."

  "You did?" Joanna's heart quickened. "What was it?"

  "Your beautiful body unhampered by costume performing on the trapeze for me alone. And I would be primed and ready and waiting in the net below for you to fall." He grinned wickedly. "The rest is not for delicate ears."

  She gave him a sultry smile. "After last night, my ears are no longer delicate."

  Stefan arched a brow, brushed the hair from her ear and whispered his fantasy.

  Joanna blushed, yanked the pillow from under him and pounded it across his chest. "That's obscene!"

  "I know. Would you like to try it out, Mrs. Janacek?"

  She gave him an evil grin. "Yes, Mr. Janacek, I most certainly would."

  Stefan rolled over and draped his leg across her thighs while pinning her wrists together above her head and against the mattress. "I starts something like this?" he said, against her ear before taking the soft lobe between his lips. He kissed her deeply, his tongue both teasing and demanding. Then he sat up, reached for her foot and began massaging it gently. "I'm going to make you tingle in places you didn't know existed," he said, his palms gliding up her calf until he touched her intimately.

  She moaned, filled with an urgency she recognized as being on the brink of fulfillment. Raising heavy eyelids, she found Stefan smiling contentedly, as if her body, and the enjoyment he was giving her, was his greatest pleasure. She touched his lips and said, "I wish the feeling inside me could go on forever."

  Stefan kissed the tips of her fingers as they followed the contour of his lips. "If it went on forever," he said, "I'd know I was doing something wrong." He bent down and kissed her toes... her instep... her calf, moving up. She splayed her hands over the broad expanse of his back, feeling muscles rippling beneath her touch as he tasted and teased forbidden places before kissing the curve of her throat and the hollow of her neck. He stopped what he was doing and said, "Last night, I convinced you that we would pleasure each other in ways that would not create a child, then I took you anyway. So we'll stop here, and I'll go back to my stateroom before I lose control and take you again."

  He started to sit up, but Joanna grabbed his arm. "No," she said. "You didn't take me last night, I gave myself to you with all my heart, and body, and soul. I don't know whether I can learn to live with what you do, but for the time we have together, I want you completely. And I want you now." This time when they made love, Joanna savored the glory of Stefan's lovemaking, but she also pleasured him in ways she hoped he would cherish. For a long time afterwards, neither spoke, each delighting in the last waning ripples. Then Stefan looked into eyes radiantly alive and glowing with love, and when Joanna smiled at him, time stood still, as if there were nothing, and no one else in the world. He brushed a damp lock from her forehead. "I'd like nothing better than to spend the day in bed making love to you," he said, trailing a finger along her cheek and down her neck, "but I have to tend to my cats."

  Joanna sighed. "And I'm supposed to meet Gene and Otto at nine." She glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost eight thirty. "I don't want you to go."

  "And I don't want to go." Stefan bent over and kissed her soundly, then went to the basin and filled the bowl with water. She stepped beside him and dipped the wash cloth. How suddenly their lives had come together, and how quickly their love had blossomed. The thought of being Stefan's wife and spending the rest of her life with him pleased her. And terrified her. After a short washing ritual, Stefan tugged on his drawers, and Joanna slipped into her robe and sat at her dressing table. While combing her hair, she was again tormented by macabre thoughts of Stefan in the cage with the cats. It was like an endless cogwheel of worry. But this evening she would again be secure in Stefan's arms, and his lovemaking would take away the tension of the day. At least for a little while.

  Stefan walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Red is the traditional color for a gypsy bride," he said. "It represents happiness and good health." Lifting the collar of her robe he studied the small yellow roses embroidered in the delicate lace, and added, "But yellow is the color of suffering." He looked at her in the mirror. "And I see it in the worry in your eyes and in the tension on your beautiful face."

  Joanna's eyes met the reflection of his gaze in the mirror. She looked steadily at him. How easily he could read her, even though she'd tried to hide her anxiety. Was there something inherent in gypsies that allowed them to probe people's thoughts? She chewed on her lip, and replied, "I didn't think it showed."

  He squeezed her shoulder. "Enough about that. I have something I want to give you later, something to hang here—" his finger touched her chest "—close to your heart."

  Joanna stood and turned to face him. "What is it?"

  "A stone given to me by a romnibari—an old woman with psychic powers. She said if I gave it to my true love, she'd be protected from danger as long as it hung close to her heart."

  "How can you be sure it's supposed to go to me?" Joanna asked.

  Stefan held her gaze, as he replied, "The old woman said the stone would match the color of my true love's eyes." He smiled. "The stone is a sapphire."

  Joanna arched a brow. "But I'm not the one who needs protection. You are."

  He looked at her intently. "Some day you may need it up on the bars."

  Gene's threat to drop the nets emerged. Another gypsy prophecy? She looked at Stefan, but said nothing. But after he kissed her and left, the thought remained.

  ***

  A damp sultry wind tugged at the pavilion, straining lines while seeming to make the great canvas covering breathe a giant sigh. Sawdust from the vast stock pile in the midway swirled against the side walls and swept through openings in the canvas flaps, stinging Joanna's legs as she tumbled over the edge of the net and stood beside Gene, her face flushed with satisfaction. Practice had gone well, and she felt confident that, in spite of the distraction of her night of lovemaking with Stefan, she was still in top form.

  Gene pulled a pair of trousers over his tights. His eyes shifted from Joanna to the activity centered around assembling the cat cage, and back to Joanna. "Good practice," he said. "Your timing's on." He dipped his towel into a bucket of cool water and mopped his face.

  "Why shouldn't my timing be on?" Joanna asked, reac
hing into her satchel for a cloth. She dipped it in the water and passed it over her face.

  Gene pulled off his gym slippers and tugged on a sock, then said pointedly, "Janacek is sleeping with you, isn't he?"

  Joanna looked up, eyes smoldering. "That's none of your business." She whirled her cloak around her shoulders. "Nor should it make any difference to you one way or another. You just said practice was good, that my timing is on."

  "And will your timing be on when his animals act up again?"

  Joanna fastened the clasp of her cloak with agitated fingers. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we."

  Gene tugged on his other shoe. "I can tell you right now, if Janacek's sharing your bed, your mind won't be on our act. It will be on what's going on inside the big cage."

  "Don't worry," Joanna clipped. "I'll make sure I keep my professional life, and my personal one, separate." She tossed her gymnastic slippers into her satchel and snapped it shut. "And what I do away from the act is my business."

  "Wrong! If you end up carrying Janacek's child it's my business because we won't have an act." Gene stuffed his towel into his bag. "Everything was fine before that two-bit gypsy bastard came on the scene. I don't know what in hell you see in him."

  "No, I don't suppose you would." Joanna wanted to say more, but she refused to give Gene ammunition to fire back at her.

  Gene looked at the men assembling the big cage. "Just keep in mind that eventually you'll have to choose between Stefan Janacek and the act. You can't have both." He grabbed his satchel and marched toward the exit in long strides. His pace slowed when Stefan entered the pavilion. As they passed, Gene reached out and grabbed Stefan's arm. "I'm warning you, Janacek," he said, "stay away from Joanna."

  Stefan yanked his arm from Gene's hold. "You're warning me?" He folded his arms. "I think you should know, Marquis, I'm not easily intimidated."

  Gene glared at him. "Nor am I." A knotted fist came up in warning.

  Stefan unfolded his arms and braced his feet. "Get that fist out of my face, Marquis, or I'll hurl you across this arena."

  Gene stared him down for a few moments, then lowered his arm. "Do that, Janacek, and you had better start watching your back. I don't intend to let you or anything else stand between the Flying Marquis and the top."

  Stefan edged forward until his face was inches from Gene's, and said, "And I don't intend to let you, or anything else stand between Joanna and me."

  Gene held his position. "If you don't get out of her life so she can pull her act back together, the hard ground may come between you and Joanna when the nets come down. Think about that the next time you're in bed with her!"

  Stefan stabbed a stiff finger toward Gene's face. "If the nets come down, you bloody bastard, I'll personally feed you to my lions. Keep that in mind."

  "And you keep in mind that your lions could get to you first!"

  Stefan ignored Gene and continued toward Joanna. She walked over to meet him. "What was that all about?"

  He shrugged. "Nothing I can't handle."

  "He told you to stay away from me, didn't he?"

  "Something like that."

  "What did you tell him?"

  "Don't worry your pretty head about it, Mrs. Janacek." Stefan put his arm around Joanna's waist and pulled her to him. Bending down, he kissed her on the lips, long and hard, and in plain view of Gene. "Do you mind if I call you Mrs. Janacek?"

  "No, Mr. Janacek," she replied, "I consider it an honor. I like being your wife. And since Gene accused me of sharing my bed with you, I would like to reaffirm that tonight, if you are willing to accommodate me. A wife is entitled to have her husband in her bed."

  "Absolutely." He kissed her again, a short, sweet kiss. "You looked good this morning," he said in a low, quiet voice while peering down at her.

  Joanna's eyes moved beyond Stefan to Gene, who stood where Stefan had left him, eyes fastened on them. She held his gaze until he turned and stormed out of the pavilion. Returning to Stefan, she said, "I didn't know you were watching us practice."

  Stefan smiled and drew her closer. "I wasn't," he said. "I meant, you looked good earlier this morning, when you were laying naked in bed."

  Joanna felt her heart quicken and her cheeks grow warm with the thought of them lying amid disheveled bed linens. "It was a nice way to start the day," she mused. "I'd like to start and end every day of my life that way. You will come tonight, won't you?"

  "Absolutely." Soft light danced in Stefan's eyes. Then his face grew serious. "I meant everything I said last night, that I'm in love with you, and I think of you as my wife. Today those feelings are stronger."

  Joanna struggled to catch her breath. She had no idea how long she'd lain awake pondering her options if the love Stefan expressed continued to grow. She felt her own bittersweet pangs of love for him spiraling upward. And although it was merely a gypsy tradition, she truly felt married to Stefan. But it was an imaginary marriage. A temporary bond. An excuse for them to express their love in a physical way that her moral upbringing would not otherwise allow.

  But she was also conscious of the peril that accompanied that physical love. If she carried Stefan's child, she would be finished as a flyer and have to leave the show. And Stefan would have to either give up his cats and everything he'd worked years to accomplish, or give her up. She couldn't stay on and watch him, day after day. And their child, if they had a son, would not grow up tending lions and tigers and watching his father perform while waiting for the day he'd step up from cage boy to assistant trainer, and ultimately top trainer, when Stefan's time finally came. Odd how things had changed. The first time she'd seen Stefan in the big cage with his cats, when he meant nothing to her, she'd watched with dispassionate concern as any uninvolved spectator would, fearing for the man because of what the cats might do. Now, she couldn't let her mind dwell on what might happen. The thought was too hideous...

  "Sweetheart?" Stefan's voice seemed to come from far away. "Trust me. Nothing will happen. My cats are behaving better than they have in months."

  Joanna looked up at him, wondering again how he seemed to have the ability to read her thoughts. She gave him a bland smile. "I'll try not to worry, if you promise to keep your back to your cats," she said, adding a touch of humor to her voice, hoping it would dispel her somber mood of moments before.

  Stefan looked at her, puzzled. "Why would I do that?"

  "Because that part of you that your cats seem to covet is mine now, and I will be expecting you to bring it with you when you come to my bed tonight."

  Stefan's eyes smoldered with an intensity that sent chills of anticipation rushing through Joanna. "I can assure you, Mrs. Janacek, that it will be with me, and it will be on full alert when I arrive." He leaned toward her and said in a low, deep voice, "If you look down now, my love, you will see that it's already on full alert in preparation for tonight."

  Joanna glanced down and chuckled, then raised on tiptoe, gave him a quick kiss, and said, "It is going to be a very long day. Meanwhile, I have to change clothes and get ready for my acrobatics class." She turned to leave.

  "Wait," Stefan reached for her arm. "I have a few minutes before the cage is up, so I'll walk you to your wagon."

  Joanna gave him a seductive smile. "Yes," she said, "I think that would be a very good idea." She tucked her arm in the crook of his elbow and they strolled out of the pavilion.

  Across the grounds, Gene stood talking to Karl Porter. Gene looked towards them, and Karl followed the direction of Gene's gaze.

  Stefan eyed the men. "Perhaps we should part company now. It would not do for them to see me going into your wagon. I don't want to compromise you."

  Joanna smiled. "I'm your wife, remember. And I want you to compromise me. I want you to compromise me in my wagon, right now, before I have my acrobatics students. But this time I want to prove to you that Karl is right, that I am as agile in bed as I am on the trapeze." Looking toward where Gene and Karl were still watching them, s
he tightened her hand on Stefan's arm and continued toward her wagon.

  Inside, she turned to Stefan and said in a hurried voice, "We only have thirty minutes so we need to get started right away." She began unbuttoning his khaki shirt, but he quickly shrugged it over his head, removed his breeches, stripped her of her clothes, and they fell together on the bed at the far end of the wagon...

  Twenty minutes later, as they lay naked in each others arms, still damp and exhilarated from their lovemaking, Stefan kissed her on the temple and said in a low, evocative voice, "Mrs. Janacek, you are indeed as agile in bed as you are on the trapeze."

  "I'll try and remember that, Mr. Janacek, when I'm up on the trapeze. In fact, I hope I'll continue to be as agile up there as I was down here. It's odd though. I always thought nothing could compare to the freedom of flying, if only for those few moments in time when I'm between the trapeze and Otto. But your lovemaking eclipses anything, even flying through the air. I just wish the incredible feeling that comes when our passions peak would last longer." She sighed. "It's much like flying. It happens so fast, and then it's all over, and all I want is to do it again."

  "That is precisely why you will never tire of it." Stefan kissed her lightly and stood.

  Joanna gazed up at him, tall and muscular and splendid in his nakedness— a virile man in his prime. His male member hung limp now, so the scar was not stretched as it was when he was aroused, but seeing it, still damp from their lovemaking, was a reminder of how vulnerable he was, and she could not disguise the worry.

  Catching the focus of her attention, Stefan said, while slipping on his drawers, "Come watch while I work Rafat on a harness and collar this afternoon. It will be a good chance for you to see how responsive he can be when he knows he won't be getting his way." He turned from her and reached for his breeches.

  Joanna's heart began thumping at the thought of Stefan being in the cage with the big lion. She moved off the bed and started dressing. "Will Tony be there?" she asked, trying to hold her voice steady. But when the image of the big lion stalking Stefan the first day she'd seen him working with his cats emerged, followed by the scene Helen Janacek had described, she felt lightheaded. Closing her eyes, she waited until the feeling passed.