In a way, I wish I did make more of an effort. I should have made myself look dazzling. So if this is the last time I do see Matt he would always remember me the way he left me at the airport.
Yesterday what would have been hunger for him has now been replaced with a deep ache. A deep ache not knowing when I will see him next. Will it be weeks, will it be months? I don't know. We haven't spoken about it. It has been like a taboo. I don't think either of us dared to bring the subject up first - simply because we are scared of what the answer would be.
We didn't speak the whole car journey. Just sat and listened to the radio, both lost in our own thoughts.
He carries my case and holds my hand to the check-in desk. He keeps my hand in his as I pass my passport and confirmation to the clerk.
"You're all ready to go Miss Phoenix. The departure lounge is along to your left and up some escalators. You have two hours fifteen minutes to wait." The assistant smiles as she gives me my documents back.
Matt can't go any further than the escalator as he isn't travelling so he walks me as far as he can.
"I guess this is goodbye for now." I study his agonized face, hoping that he leaves it at 'for now' and not 'forever'. We've only just started our relationship together, it can't end too soon. We're perfect for one another. At least, he is perfect for me.
"For now." He confirms. "I'm going to arrange to come over in the next couple months."
I feel the side of my lips curl up softly, a smile of his own forming on his lips. He puts his forehead against mine.
"I'll miss you." Is all I can manage, a tear escaping the corner of my eye. Remembering the pain I felt last time I was away from him. Only, I know that it will be worse this time round because I have grown more attached to the man. I have grown to love him.
He wipes away the tear and kisses my lips softly. "Don't cry Casey. I will miss you too but we have email, phones and Skype. We will speak every day. Hell, I will contact you every chance I get."
I nod my head but I can't stop the tears.
He looks down at his watch before looking back up at me. "Look, I've got to go, I have a meeting I have to get with and James is already pissed with me as it is. I can't be late."
"Okay. I will call you when I land." I force myself to smile.
"Good. I'll be waiting."
We share a soft passionate kiss, our tongues slowly dancing with each other. Tasting each other for the last time in what will seem like forever.
"Goodbye Matt." I smile and turn to step on the escalator.
"Hey Casey!" I hear him call from behind me. I turn to face him.
"Yeah?" I ask.
"I love you!" He admits and my stomach feels like it has done a somersault.
~~~~~
The First Class departure lounge is full and there isn't a seat available so I stand. I look around me and the majority are all men - all roughly between the ages of 25-35. I wonder if they are on some sort of stag party.
I search my bag for my phone and lift it out to send a few messages.
The first is to Matt -
I love you too. Xx
I wish that I only had the chance to say it to his face, but as soon as he announced his feelings for me, he turned and walked away.
The second text I send is to Hannah -
Just in the departure lounge now. Arrive in Manchester at around 11am UK time tomorrow. Can you send a driver please x
I look to see one of the men approaching me. He looks like one of the older ones from the group. Dark blonde hair which is spiked and big brown eyes. He stands around six foot tall.
"Excuse me, are you Casey Phoenix?" He asks, he has an English accent.
"Yeah I am." I smile at him and he turns and nods at the group of men he was with, they all turn and start talking and laughing between themselves.
"My name is Josh Gibbon. I'm a footballer for Manchester United. They are my team mates behind me. We have been over here for a quick getaway before the season starts again. You know how it is." He shrugs his shoulders.
"Nice to meet you, Josh."
"Look, I'd hate to think of you standing over here on your own the whole wait, please come and join us, you can have my seat." I take up his offer and follow him over to the group of men.
Every single one of them is attractive but they do not compare to Matt in the slightest.
"So are you single?" One of the darker haired footballers asks me.
"Nope." The answer is straight out of my mouth before he has even finished asking me the question.
~~~~~
Once the plane is up in the air, I plug my headphones in and close my eyes to listen to the lyrics and I can't help but think of Matt. The man who loves me.
Lonestar - Amazed fills my ears.
I don't know how you do what you do,
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better.
I want to spend the rest of my life,
With you by my side.
And I drift into a peaceful sleep.
Dreaming of me and him. Us. Together.
Chapter Thirty
Hannah
I am so happy this morning - for a number of reasons. First reason - today is the day that Casey is home. I haven't spoken to her yet so assume that she is still on the plane. Second reason - today is Sunday, so the sleep I lost out on last night I was able to make up for this morning. Third reason - I haven't heard from the crazy person for more than 48 hours – it’s probably something to do with the heavy security protection Matt has arranged for me. Normally I would complain about being babysat but I am so grateful.
Even though they haven't been in contact I am still really paranoid and get too scared to sleep during the night, I always feel safer when it is light outside so I know my neighbours are awake and can see or hear if anything happens to me.
Casey said once she gets home she will call me so we can catch up.
I have so much to tell her.
~~~~~
Casey
The weather in the UK is sunshine but it is so much cooler than what I have been living in over in California. I pull my sunglasses on and wait for my car to come and get me.
A black Jaguar XF pulls up in front of me. The windows tinted black. I assume it is for me so I walk towards it.
The driver’s door opens and I see him looking at me over the top of the car.
At first I think I am asleep and this is an amazing dream. I pinch my arm and when Matt is standing right in front of me I realize it isn't a dream and he is actually here.
I am confused, ecstatic and so deeply in love.
I remove my sunglasses and study him with my eyes. He is wearing grey jeans with a black long sleeved jumper.
"Matt! What are you doing here? How are you here?" My voice is high from excitement.
"Darling, I'm a millionaire, anything is possible." He laughs removing his own sunglasses. "Plus, I missed you too much."
I can't help myself, I wrap my arms around him and kiss him hungrily and he returns the same hunger.
"You, Matthew Jackson are the most amazing person I have ever met."
"I know I'm amazing, darling." His arrogant smile is back.
We settle in the car and Matt begins to drive us home. Bruno Mars playing quietly on the radio.
"How did you get the car?" I ask looking over to Matt. I forgot how sexy he looks when he drives. Concentration on his face. One hand on the steering wheel and one hand in mine on my lap.
"James contacted Stephen and he arranged it for me. I'm going to go and buy a car though. I figure I will need one since I will be spending a lot of time over here." He glances over to me before his eyes return to the road in front of us.
I settle back in my seat and watch out the window whilst running my thumb over the back of Matt's hand.
~~~~~
Hannah
Casey has just text me and she's home!
She told me she is going to unpack, have a shower and she will call me onc
e she is sorted so I can go over for our catch up.
It's been an emotional rollercoaster. Trying to run a business and balancing all different emotions ranging from anger to sadness, happiness to fear. I don't know how people do it.
I look like crap. Dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep.
This morning when I got dressed and tied my hair into a pony tail I was one hundred percent certain that I found a grey hair. I'm going to have to book in with Marco soon or I'm going to end up looking like a witch.
Regardless of all that my best friend is back home and we're going to have a good night catching up.
I head to the local shop with Luke my bodyguard and pick up a few bottles of wine and some chocolates. I need it after the past couple of weeks I have had.
When we walk out of the shop I notice the black car that was watching me the night I went for my run.
Adrenaline takes over and before I know it I am running over to it and see there is nobody in the car, but I can't shake the feeling that I am being watched. I look around but can't see anybody else other than Luke.
Rage takes over me and I kick the car repeatedly so I dent the driver’s door. I let all the anxiety out that has tormented me the past few weeks and it feels good.
It feels so fucking good.
Before I know it Luke’s strong arms are wrapped around me pulling me away.
Chapter Thirty-one
Casey
He is everything.
He is the hunger I feel, the lust, the frustration, he is the reason my heart feels it is about to burst.
We decided to have a shower before Hannah comes to visit. Of course it would be quicker to shower together.
His hands touch my bare shoulders and I run my hands up his neck, over his face, his stubble rough on my hands as I do so.
He beams down at me and I inch forward. He wraps his arms around me and all I want to do is press into him more. Feel our wet bodies together.
He brings his hand to my face and for a moment I think he is going to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, but he presses his thumb to my chin and tilts it so I am looking up at him and before I know it his lips are on mine, his tongue plunges inside. I kiss him back just as aggressively.
I press my torso so closely to his and I can feel the heat and every tension in his body.
We break the kiss and wash, watching each other hungrily.
Matt being Matt of course insisted on washing me - massaging my back before turning me to face him and making his way to my breasts. Paying extra attention to my nipples.
I feel empowered knowing how much the man wants me and how crazy it makes him when I turn him down.
I must start playing hard to get more often.
When we get out of the shower I call Hannah and invite her over.
She looks terrible. She looks tired and pale. I hug her for a few moments and we make our way to the kitchen and sit at the table.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you now Han?" I ask as she pours us a glass of white.
She lets out a big sigh. "I don't know where to begin." Her eyes widen when Matt walks in to the kitchen wearing only grey sweat pants, his torso exposed. "I didn't realize Jackson came back with you." She laughs.
"Mr. Jackson to you. Don't forget I'm your new boss." He winks playfully and pulls a chair and sits beside me. His hand on my knee.
Hannah rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her wine. "I have been receiving strange emails."
My eyes widen and I realize the same person who has tortured me the past few months has now targeted my best friend. She confirms the email address for me so I know it is the same person.
"It hasn't just been the emails though. I've had somebody banging on my door on the middle of the night, heavy breathing calls at home and at work, I have been followed when I have been running and today I saw the car that was following me I was so angry I kicked it." Hannah explains her eyes gazing at the ceiling as she speaks. When she turns her focus back to me there are tears forming in her eyes. “I’ve been so scared. At first I thought I would be brave and try and track whoever it is down that was hassling you. But then they turned on me. I haven’t been able to sleep because I’ve been waiting for the next call and the next bang.”
My hand covers my mouth as tears fill my eyes. I feel so bad for leaving her behind and putting her through all this. I can’t help but blame myself. If I was here then the stalker would have aimed all their hatred at me. “I’m so sorry Hannah. I wish you had told me sooner, I would have been home straight away and I wouldn’t have let it get this bad for you.”
Matt’s hand squeezes my knee to let me know he is here for me, here to stay.
“Matt has been a good support. He organized security for my house and I have now got a hunky bodyguard who follows me everywhere.” Hannah smiles gratefully at Matt before looking back at me.
Matt knew? Why didn’t he tell me sooner? I feel my body tense as I turn to face him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I told him not to – I didn’t want to ruin your break away.” Hannah explains and I relax a little.
The three of us sit in silence for a short period of time. All lost in our own thoughts, Matt’s hand is still on my knee and I take a mouthful of wine.
“So what happens next?” I ask my voice quiet.
“I have arranged more security. Hannah will continue to have security watching her house at all hours, even when she isn’t there and a body guard to escort her anywhere she has to go. Even if she wants to go running. Casey, the security at the gatehouse here is fine, however I have also arranged for you to have a bodyguard too and I contacted HR and we are employing more security for the office building.” Matt’s voice is full of authority, I’m looking straight at the wine glass on the table in front of me, but I know by his voice his face is tight, shoulders squared and eyes are probably fixed on me.
I nod to let him know I am listening.
“Now Hannah, I understand that anger got the better of you, but if you see that car about we cannot afford to do anything stupid. The bastard is trying to get to you both, one way or another and I don’t know for certain, but if it was my car someone damaged I would get the cops involved. If they can’t get you one way, what’s saying they won’t try and get you another?” His voice is stern but I know what he is saying makes sense.
I look up and my eyes meet Hannah’s – her eyes red from crying earlier. We both nod at the same time.
We’re both afraid and we both want this nightmare to be over.
Chapter Thirty-two
Casey
My first morning back at the office is going quickly; my bodyguard escorted me all the way to my office under Matt’s strict orders to make sure I am safe.
Every time my phone rings or I get an email notification I shudder, however I haven’t received anything from the stalker – nothing.
Matt said he will call by the office later to check on me to make sure everything is okay. He is spending the day car shopping with Scott, one of his friends from over here. I haven’t met Scott yet but Matt told me he would introduce us sometime soon.
My concentration comes to a halt and I decide to have a break. I make my way down to the café to catch up with Julie, but she’s not there. Instead there’s a chubby woman with short dark hair and thick glasses who stands behind the counter. She sees me enter and stares at me.
“Is Julie about?” I ask. Her eyes still fixated on me.
“She doesn’t work here anymore.” She speaks to me as if I am stupid and that I should have known.
“Since when?” My tone is more demanding now.
“Well I’ve worked here for a week now.” She shrugs her shoulders and turns away from me.
I have no time for ignorant people so I shake my head and turn out the door. I need to speak to HR and see who employed such a witch.
Back in my office I dial Hannah’s direct line.
“Hannah, I need you to find out why
Julie left and I want somebody to speak to the old bitch who now works in the café.”
“Julie just rang in and said she wouldn’t be coming back, she wouldn’t give me a reason.” Hannah sighs.
I’m taken aback by her reply – Julie loved her job here, she loved every single person who went in to her café and always had the time to speak to whoever walked through her door. I just can’t imagine her not wanting to come back like that and I think she would at least wait to speak to me first.
“She wouldn’t just not come back.” I argue disbelievingly.
“That’s all she said, Case.”
“That doesn’t sound like Julie at all. That can’t be right.” I sound horrified.
“It was me that spoke to her Casey. She wouldn’t say why, just said she wasn’t coming back. Sorry.” Hannah is apologetic and I realize I am taking it out on her.
“Sorry Han. I don’t mean to come across as a bitch; I’m just disappointed that’s all. I thought she would at least say goodbye.” My voice is softer this time.
“I know Casey. Don’t worry about it. Have you heard anything?” I know by anything, she means have I heard anything from the psychopath.
“Nothing, have you?” I ask.
“Not a peep. Hopefully they have been run over or something.” She laughs.
“I’ll come down and see you soon. Bye Han.” And I end the call.
I start to work, well, not really. I start to shuffle papers because I can’t concentrate. It’s my first day back at work so naturally I should be busy. Stephen handed me numerous reports to read through this morning and HR wanted me to sign some paperwork but I just can’t get my head in the game.
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