The Tragedy of Loving Jamie Clarke

by Cohen, Rebecca R.

  “You passed out? Geez, what did that boy do to you to make you so tired?” Amber retorts as she thrusts against a locker. “Oh my God, did you sleep with him?” She beams. She has been campaigning for me to lose my virginity for months.

  “No! God no. It was our first date and I’m not Liza!”

  Amber shrugs and heads toward Mr. Claymore’s Statistics classroom. “Your loss. I’m telling you, that you would be a lot more laid back if you gave into it.”

  “Okay, Amber, enough.”

  “Fine,” she shrugs as we pass by the cheerleading squad.

  “WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE GULLS COME FOR YOU? BAD BIRDS, BAD BIRDS, WATCH OUT!” the squad cheers as they skip through the hallway.

  “God, they really can’t come up with a more creative cheer than that?” I snicker.

  “Not with Ms. Hailey as their coach they can’t,” Amber wraps her arm around mine and pulls me on the opposite side of the hallway. “You have Mrs. Honor now, right? Isn’t that the class you have with Mr. Romeo?”

  “Oh my God, my first class is the one with Jamie!”

  I have been so busy living in la-la land that I didn’t think about how to act when I saw him in school. I slump against the lockers.

  “Dude, get up,” Amber demands and kicks my feet. “What’s the matter with you?”

  “How am I supposed to act when I see him?”

  “Like a normal human being,” Amber laughs. She has always been so collected when it comes to situations like this. If only I could switch minds with her for one day. “What happened on that date that has you all weird and clammy?” She asks and pulls out her phone to check the time. “You’ve got five minutes before the first bell rings to tell me everything.”

  “You mean when I finally decided to answer the door?” Amber’s eyes roll. “He kept asking me questions about myself, like right off the bat he asked me to tell him all about myself. I didn’t know what to say so I kind of babbled the entire way to the ocean walk.”

  Amber’s eyes light up with fire. Her mouth drops open and she drops to the dirty floor as though I had shot her.

  “Oh my God, April Marks, tell me you did not take that boy to The Cove!”

  The Cove is what Amber has always referred to as “the date killer.” A few years ago she brought Michael Smiths to The Cove for dinner. Amber never heard from him again after that night.

  “I didn’t know where else to take him,” I say defensively.

  “Town maybe? The beach? The movies? The town dump would have been better than The Cove!”

  “Had we gone into town or anywhere other than The Cove we would have run the risk of seeing Liza and the entire night would have been ruined.”

  Amber scoffs. “Okay, April you have got to get over this whole Liza obsession. You can’t think every guy you like is going to up and leave you for her. Not all guys are that big of a douche bag.”

  I don’t have an obsession with Liza and I have seen guys turn into babbling idiots around her. Guys who I liked and who claimed to like me too would take one look at her and act like I didn’t exists so how can I not be nervous about it happening with Jamie?

  “I know, that’s what Jamie said, but I didn’t want to risk it,” I reply as I slide back onto my feet.

  I pull out my phone and check the time. We only have a minute before the bell and Mrs. Honor isn’t the most understanding when it comes to tardiness. I have no idea what Jamie is thinking and all I want to do is talk to my best friends about it so I don’t lose my mind.

  “Shit, the bell is about to ring,” Amber says staring at her phone. “Just tell me quickly, was there a goodnight kiss? Or any kind of a kiss, other than one you’d give your own father?”

  I shake my head. “That’s a bad sign, right? If he wanted a second date or wanted to be with me he would have kissed me right?”

  Amber shrugs. “I guess you’ll find out. Now get to class before Mrs. Honor hangs you for being late,” Amber shouts as she bolts down the hallway toward Mr. Claymore’s classroom.

  I wave her off like I would bat a fly and watch as Damian Webber and Mitchell Harper race Amber to class. They probably lost track of time because they were busy making out in the boys bathroom again. Damian and Mitchell are Perkins High School’s first gay couple that we know of, so the school made it a big thing. Perkins Harbor gets hundreds of tourists every year and many of them happen to be homosexual. We even have a bunch of bars with the gay pride flag plastered in the windows so I’m not sure why Principal Weist insisted on having an assembly about tolerance last year.

  “Settle down class,” Mrs. Honor says as I dash into the classroom right as the bell rings. “We have a lot to get through today.”

  I’m panting and sweating as I slide into my desk chair and throw my bag on the floor. I can feel his deep blue eyes glued on me already. Jamie. I haven’t looked at him yet but I already know he looks amazing. I allow myself a quick peek and I was right. The alabaster shirt with the sleeves halfway rolled conforms to his body perfectly as though it were designed specifically for him. His charcoal hair is falling over his eyes, and it dances with the breeze that has trickled in from the slightly opened window; his skin is slightly tanned, which reveal the muscle veins on his arms and neck, something that has always been hard for me to resist. I think boys have some kind of sixth sense. Like they know what to do in order to get a girl to do what they want. To drive us crazy enough to beckon to their every whim, if they’re the guys we have our eyes on of course.

  Why does he have to be so perfect? Can’t he have one fatal flaw, something that will prevent me from feeling like the Lords of the Riverdance are holding a performance inside my stomach every time I think about him?

  “Hey,” Jamie says, leaning toward me.

  Okay I totally could have started with that.

  “Hey,” I reply without taking my eyes off the front of the room.

  “So last night,” Jamie begins in a whisper. “I had a lot of fun.”

  I obviously can’t see my reaction but I can feel it burning through my skin and in the weight that has been lifted off my back as I scoot up straight in my chair. I sort of knew he had a good time because when he walked me home and before he kissed me goodnight he had said he had a good time, but hearing it a second time doesn’t hurt.

  “You did?” Way to go, April. Way to not sound too pathetic. “I mean I did too.”

  “I thought about calling you when I got home but I figured it wasn’t the best idea. I mean it was kind of late and I didn’t want to come off a little too forward.”

  “Oh,” God he’s so cute. “It wouldn’t have been too forward.”

  “I know for next time then.”

  Mrs. Honor shoots us an, ‘I know you’re talking over my lesson,’ look and Jamie straightens in his chair. Mrs. Honor could call us out and force us to explain why Jamie is staring at me. Not that I would really mind the entire class knowing that we went on a date last night but I don’t really think it’s any of their business.

  “Mr. Clarke, perhaps you can enlighten us as to why Scout is such an important character in 20th century American literature,” Mrs. Honor says, rather than asks.

  To Kill a Mockingbird was on our summer reading list and even though Jamie was technically not a student this past summer, Mrs. Honor still expects him to have done the reading. From what I have heard from students who had her in the past, Scout Finch is the character that Mrs. Honor obsesses over the most. She will bring Scout into nearly all of her lessons and always compares her to other characters. Amber thinks Mrs. Honor has a lesbian crush on Scout (but she also thinks that N’sync is better than the Backstreet Boys.)

  Jamie looks like aliens are abducting him as Mrs. Honor calls him out for not paying attention. She gave him a hard time his first day and it didn’t seem to bother him but today his cool guy wall is down. He obviously didn’t do the reading, which doesn’t surprise me since I’m probably one of the only people who always do the summer readi
ng.

  “Sorry. Mrs. Honor. I didn’t get a chance to do the reading,” Jamie stammers.

  Mrs. Honor doesn’t care how lost or pathetic he looks. “Well, then maybe you should pay more attention to class and less on Ms. Marks’ left earlobe,” Mrs. Honor says flatly.

  “Yes, Mrs. Honor.”

  It sounds bad but I am kind of glad that Mrs. Honor interrupted us because I am pretty sure I was about to ask Jamie if he was going to ask me out again. I have a tendency to assume and you know what happens when people assume things. I wonder if Scout Finch were a real person would she have the same fears as I do. Would she worry herself with boys or would she focus on following in Atticus’ footsteps? If she met Jamie, would she be as amazed with him as I am? Mrs. Honor is right, Scout is one of the strongest characters in any of our summer reading books but still, I can’t imagine that even she wouldn’t be weakened by the prospect of love. I can’t imagine many people would be able to fight that off and if they could, why would they?

  Jamie is writing vigorously in his notebook trying to keep up with the lecture and trust me it’s no easy feat. Mrs. Honor talks about as fast as the guy who does those Matchbox car commercials. I knew taking notes would be impossible so after school on Monday, Amber and I drove to the CVS in Kittery so I could buy a hand recorder. It’s not much better but at least I can pause, stop and rewind until I have some idea as to what it is Mrs. Honor is saying.

  “Psst,” Jamie whispers, when Mrs. Honor’s back is turned. He is cupping a triangular piece of paper. “April, take it.”

  He was not taking notes, he was writing me a note! “No,” I whisper to Jamie. “We’ve already been caught talking once today and if Mrs. Honor catches us passing notes we’ll have a second date- in detention!”

  I’m too nervous that Mrs. Honor really does have eyes in the back of her head. He glances briefly at the front of the room where Mrs. Honor is standing with her face buried in her notes. “Quick!” whispers Jamie as he tosses the note toward my desk. I watch as it floats through the air and lands just shy of my desk. Now it’s staring at me like a $100 dollar bill. I do a quick re-check to make sure that Mrs. Honor isn’t watching and sweep the note off the floor and throw it into my lap. You know that fist clenching, stomach churning, I’m-going-to-faint feeling you get right before you go down the first drop on a rollercoaster? Well, picture that and multiply it by ten and that is what I am feeling as I peel open the note.

  April,

  Beware the prying eyes of Mrs. Honor. She’ll rip your head off. So, what I wanted to say before the teacher so rudely interrupted us was that I’m really into you. Cheesy metaphor warning: You’re like my favorite song playing on repeat and even if I hear it a hundred times I will never grow tired of it. With that having been said (well written) I wanted to ask you a question and it might be a little too forward but unfortunately that’s how I roll. Any chance you’d be interested in going on another date with me or be interested in being my girlfriend? You’ll see I have reverted back to Kindergarten and provided three answers below, which represent your options. Please initial the one you feel best fits what you’re thinking.

  1) Yes

  2) No

  3) Are you out of your mind?

  As much as I hope you don’t pick option two or three, if you do please know there won’t be any hard feelings. I know it’s really sudden. By the way you look beautiful today.

  Yours truly,

  Jamie

  Oh. My. God. I can’t believe Jamie Clarke just asked me to be his girlfriend. Damn! Why isn’t Amber in this class right now? I think it’s time to freak out now.

  -8-

  This is what I hoped for when I walked into class and now that it’s here I have no idea what to do! It’s too soon right? No, this is high school. So what if Jamie and I only had one date? Most of the relationships at Perkins High start long before the first date and besides, my date with Jamie couldn’t have been better. We talked the entire time and never had any of those awkward silences where you’re both staring at the other desperately trying to come up with something to say.

  After his great speech, I took Jamie to Lobsterfest, which on the outside looks like a hole in the wall, mostly because the exterior is broken pieces of lobster traps, but it is the best place to get a lobster roll. Even though I was dying to have one, I ordered a shrimp salad instead. The last time I had a lobster roll I ended up wearing most of it. We talked about everything and he even told me about the time he was arrested when his friends decided it would be a good idea to toilet paper the Chief of Police’s house. “I wasn’t even at the scene of the crime but I was arrested anyway when the police chief came to my friend’s house later that evening.” he laughed. It was weird hearing him talk about getting fingerprinted and being locked in a holding cell. “It sounds like an episode of Law & Order” I say. My stories could never compare to his but I told him a few cute anecdotes about myself, nothing too crazy. I surely didn’t share my, I’m-crazy-obsessed-with-the-Backstreet-Boys story that I had decided to hold off for date number 10 or later.

  After dinner we walked around The Cove and made our way to the beach. It was so romantic walking along the beach with the sand squishing between our toes and the waves crashing along the shore. If you’ve seen any romance movies then you saw a good portion of our date. We did the whole cheesy splashing one another with water thing. Jamie even picked me up and ran us through the waves, carefully of course because I can’t get the brace too wet. I’m sure if I was an outsider looking in, or if I were Amber, I would have been rolling my eyes at the two of us for acting like we were in The Notebook, you know minus the whole Alzheimer’s-thing. I’m totally into him and kissing him was all I could think about as he walked me to my door. As I fidgeted with my keys he, leaned in and kissed me on the edge of my mouth, where my lips meet my cheek, and said, “Goodnight beautiful, April.”

  The minute I got into my room I wrote for hours; it was the first time I didn’t spend the entire night staring at that blinking cursor waiting for the ideas to come to me.

  Hello! April wake the hell up! Jamie asked you to be his girlfriend you know what you want so just respond to the kid already. Stop worrying about your looks and what he’ll think of you when he actually sees the brace. The hard part is over you’ve won him. This is the easy part. I’m kind of getting used to giving myself pep talks these days. I’m like my own little relationship coach. If I keep this up Amber will be out of a job.

  With a shaky hand I spread the note out on my desk and write, very sloppily I might add, ARM (April Ruth Marks) next to my decision. Holy crap this is happening right now. Okay here goes everything. I fold the paper back into the triangle and not so subtly toss it at him. Mrs. Honor looks up from her notes right as the note is flying through the air.

  “Shit, we’re caught. She saw me pass the note” I whisper to Jamie. I cringe as she glides toward the back of the room. Jamie has the note clutched in his hand as Mrs. Honor stops in between our desks. She glances at him then at me. She is going to take the note from him I can feel it. She is going to have to pry it out of his hand though. He is holding it so tightly his fingers turn white. The anticipation is torture.

  “Ms. Marks, if you wouldn’t mind,” Mrs. Honor starts. Here it comes. I brace myself for the embarrassment. “Since Mr. Clarke has decided that the summer reading of To Kill a Mockingbird was a meaningless suggestion, will you please provide him with the Sparksnotes. We will be having a quiz on this next week.”

  I’m frozen. I knew that fear was a good silencer but I never realized that relief could be also. I glance at Jamie who is grinning like we’ve just been given a get out of jail free card and I suppose, in a way we have.

  “Well, Ms. Marks?” Mrs. Honor is still staring at me and waiting for my response and she’s not the only one. I still haven’t given Jamie an answer either.

  “Yes,” I reply but I am not looking at Mrs. Honor.

  -9-

  I have a boyfrien
d now! I swear I would go skipping through town shouting that out loud if I didn’t think I would look insane. I’m not usually the type of person to be this excited over something as ordinary as having a boyfriend but there’s something special about Jamie and I get those butterflies in my stomach when I think about him. I am sure that with time the nervousness and anxiety I get when I know I am going to see Jamie will fade away, at least I hope it will. One thing's for sure, getting ready for school will be a hell of a lot easier.

  “April, get a move on it you’re going to be late!” mom shouts from downstairs.

  I am, once again, running late. Because of the brace my routine has changed a lot and I need even more time to get ready for school. I have narrowly made it to class just before the bell rings for the last two weeks and I know that one of these days my luck is going to run out.

  “Yes, mom I know. Thank you for the reminder,” I reply as I throw my hair into a ponytail, grab my backpack and rush out the bedroom door.

  “I swear sometimes your father and I think you’re going to come out of that room as a fifty-year-old woman with how long it takes you to get ready in the morning,” mom says as I fly down the stairs.

  Today is one of those weird days when the Anchor is unusually quiet and mom is given the day off. I envy how comfortable she must be in that pink robe and really wish I could wear bunny slippers to school. Most days my parents are out of the house long before I’m awake.

  “Excuse me if this damn brace slows me down in the morning. If it bothers you that much I’ll happily stop wearing it.” Playing the guilt card is basically my go to for when I’m in trouble. I figure my parents’ sympathy for me will lessen with time so I might as well make use of it now while I can.

  Mom’s shoulders roll and her face drops. Yes! It’s worked.

  “I made you lunch so you don’t have to eat those stale pizzas today,” she says handing me a brown paper bag.