I’m exhausted. Now I wait for Jamie to react, for his face to turn the color of the vodka sauce and for him to be furious with me for not telling him sooner. This is his best friend I am talking about and I know that if Jamie had had a crush on Amber before we met I’d probably be feeling pretty hurt right about now, even though I know it’s silly. Still, if the roles were reversed I’d probably always be concerned that the feelings would come back and I really hope Jamie isn’t feeling that way. I am expecting him to flip out and to tell me that I betrayed him or worse but he is just sitting there completely silent. I swear I see the edges of his mouth starting toward the ceiling. Is he smiling? No, he can’t be. He should be angry with me and this should be the start of our second fight, right? Isn’t that how these things work?
“Is that it?” Jamie asks as his lips curl upward. I nod. “Okay. Is there any way I can convince you to come with me to this party? I mean I suppose I could go without you but that wouldn’t really be any fun now would it?”
Wait, what?
“Jamie, did you hear what I said before about why I don’t want to go to the party?” I inquire. I am confused.
“Yes of course I heard you,” Jamie replies. “I really think we’d have a good time. Plus I heard that Erik is going to have a keg and I’ve always wanted to see what a keg stand was.”
“Wait, what? No, Jamie wait. I had a crush on Erik…your best friend, Erik you know, the boy who is throwing the party. I liked him. Liked him, liked him.”
“April, I heard you. I get it. You liked him. You had a crush on him. You wanted him to be your boyfriend. I understand.”
I’m still lost.
“If you understand then how could you still want me to go to the party? Why are you so calm about this?”
Jamie puts his fork down. His piercing eyes glare at me with the same intensity they had on Christmas when we were discussing the idea of marriage. “Because that is your past. Your feelings for Erik, or whatever it was, happened before we met. Why should it bother me that you had a crush on someone before you knew me? I believe we’re meant to be together but I’m not a hippie like my parents and I don’t believe that people sit around waiting for the one their whole lives without falling for a few duds first.”
The cinder block of my Erik crush falls off my shoulders and I can breathe again. It is like studying super hard for a test and finding out it has been cancelled.
“So you’re calling your so-called best friend a dud?” I tease as I take a spoonful of pasta. I think it tastes better than it did before.
“Erik, ha, the dude is a major dud in the world of worthy fish in your pond.”
“The only fish I want swimming in my pond is you,” I say winking at him.
I don’t really have a curfew but my parents prefer it if I am home by midnight on weekends and by ten on schooldays. I don’t fight them on this because usually I am exhausted and ready for bed by eleven anyway. Tonight however, as we pull up to my house I can’t help but wish it wasn’t 11:57 p.m., I really don’t want to put that damn brace back on. Besides, tonight seems like it would be the perfect night for…you-know-what. Jamie puts the car into park and looks at me. Can’t just for a few minutes, he not be so cute?
“I hope you had a good time tonight,” Jamie says as he pushes a piece of hair behind my ear.
“Are you kidding? Tonight was perfect,” I reply grabbing and kissing the palm of his hand.
“Hey, you have to do the six-month celebration right. It is, after all, the halfway mark to the year anniversary and that’s when things get really interesting.”
“Seriously, Jamie I had a great time tonight. The food was amazing and that Tiramisu…I am definitely going to dream about that tonight.”
Jamie frowns playfully. “Look I’m up for a good competition but I am not sure I’m up to battling with a Tiramisu.”
“Well lucky for you I will forego the satisfaction of such a delectable dessert,” I tease. “It is a difficult sacrifice to make but I think I can do it.”
With a crooked smile Jamie kisses me. He runs his hands through my hair and tugs gently and makes his way for the nape of my neck. His hands are soft hands and always warm. It is a nice contrast to my own, which are permanently cold. He pulls back and kisses my neck and collarbone. I close my eyes and focus on the sensation of his lips. As wonderful as it is kissing him I am very aware of the fact that it is now midnight and if I stay in this car any longer we’re going to be christening the backseat. I pull back and smile timidly.
“I should probably go inside,” I say and place my hand on the side of his face. “Thank you again for a perfect evening.”
As I exit the car Jamie asks, “So where did we land about Erik’s party?”
I almost forgot about the stupid party.
“I guess we can go,” I reply reluctantly. “Pick me up at 8?”
“Sounds good. See you tomorrow, my everything!” Jamie says through the open window before driving off.
-23-
I am going to Erik’s but I think Jamie is going to have a hard time given what I told him last night. I have a sinking feeling about it.
Bang, bang, bang, I slap the laptop until the cooling fan buzzes and the yellow power light comes on. Jamie is helping his dad, Amber is mysteriously unavailable and the parental units are out so it’s time for me to dive back into Marlo’s world.
The Metals have Marlo cornered and her brace is just out of reach. She’ll have to get out of this one on her own. The condensation from last night’s rainstorm trickles down Marlo’s back as she pulls one of the loose nails on the pipe free. Now all she needs to do is wiggle it a little and then she’ll be able to use it to knock Kly out and save Clarke.
“It’s over Ms. Hunch,” Kly snarls. “Give in to us or these will be the last words your lover ever hears.”
The devastation in Clarke’s eyes as Kly tightens his tentacle around his neck sends Marlo’s adrenaline into overdrive. Her heart is racing and her body is covered in sweat. If she doesn’t act now her lover is doomed. As the pipe falls into her hand, Marlo lunges at Kly and...and...and…
Great! Once again I am struck down by writer’s block! I have been doing everything right. I’ve listened to inspirational music. I’ve read a ton of those, How To Write books and I’ve even outlined each chapter and still I can’t fend off the barricade in my mind. I was delusional to think that this would be easy. Writing stories in a journal one’s fifth grade teacher gave them is a lot different than writing a full book. What was I thinking? There is no way I am ever going to submit this to any literary agencies.
Buzz, Buzz. NEW TEXT MESSAGE – AMBER:
Ape – I hope you’re almost ready! I’m leaving in fifteen minutes!
Ugh! Once again I leave Marlo’s world and come home to reality. I’m never going to get this book finished. I wish I hadn’t agreed to go tonight.
If there is one thing Amber will never miss it’s one of Erik’s parties. “They are the best place to get in with the right crowd,” she always says. The only time Amber came close though was when she attended one of Liza’s parties (sans me) and shared a keg with Liza and her friends. Everyone was too drunk to have conversation so they just took turns doing keg stands and taking shots of whatever concoction Ralph Marlen, the football quarterback, created from the liquor cabinet. I have to give Amber credit for trying though.
"Ape!" Amber calls from downstairs. "Are you ready? Jamie is going to be here any minute."
Jamie is picking us up at 8 o’clock and Amber got here at 7:10 p.m., as I was just getting out of the shower. She lectured me for a good ten minutes about proper party night etiquette, apparently getting out of a shower and leaving only forty-minutes to get ready was a party sin. “You should be placed in party jail for this crime,” Amber had said when she marched into my room and nearly startled me out of the towel I was wearing.
“Okay, okay give me a minute!” I shout.
She is so impatient with me now bu
t when she is the one taking her time she expects me to wait quietly.
I tie back my hair and check out my outfit in the mirror. “Are you sure this blouse doesn’t make me look like a Muppet?” I shout loud enough for Amber, who is waiting downstairs, to hear me. “I feel like its exposing too much of the brace!”
“April, its fine! Now let’s go!” Amber demands.
“Ugh!” I smooth out the wrinkles on my jeans before heading downstairs to stop Amber from pacing a hole in the floor of the foyer.
“Finally!” Amber says stomping her foot.
“Oh lord Amber, lighten up it’s one of Erik’s stupid parties,” I say and roll my eyes. “A bunch of drunken idiots running around, cursing, fighting, pissing everywhere and making out. Then, Liza and Jeremy will get into a fight and he’ll speed off in that shit brown car of his and that will signal the end of the party.”
Amber tosses me a thin shirt to bring along and heads for the door. She is really persistent tonight but last I heard Alex wasn’t going to be able to make it so I don’t understand why she is so anxious. The people who show up on time for high school parties include the band geeks and the mathletes. I figured we would hang out at my house for a little before heading to the party but from the looks of it Amber is going to jump in Jamie’s car before it even comes to a stop.
“Why the sudden rush to get there?” I ask as I throw the shirt in my purse and follow Amber out the door.
She looks up and down the block for Jamie's car but the only thing on the block are parked cars, houses and Mrs. Martin taking her aged golden retriever Amy, for her nightly walk. Friday nights in Perkins Harbor, before the summer vacationers come, are always quiet, at least in the residential areas and there isn’t much for a teenager to do around here at night. Sometimes Amber and I will walk to the beach and go for a late swim but we haven’t done that since we were caught and lectured by a security guard last summer.
“What’s the rush?” I repeat.
“There’s no rush. I just don’t want to stand around waiting for your boyfriend all night,” Amber scoffs.
She is hiding something.
-24-
Marcy’s Corner is a small gated community with mansions that would rival those in Beverly Hills. Some of them look like they should come with their own zip code. Erik lives on the very end of the block so we have to drive through a good portion of the community to get to his house. I have been here a few times but I'm still amazed at the size of these houses. For me, there is magic in the air and I swear I can hear the angels singing as a towering alabaster mansion climbs into view. It's like the universe is saying, "Look, April, it's something you'll never have."
A shadowy figure moves around inside the giant windows where fluorescent light casts a spotlight on the rose bushes that line the front side of the massive home. Jamie pulls into the crescent driveway and we park between a blue Jaguar and Erik's snot green Hummer.
“Looks like we might be the first ones here,” Jamie says as we ascend the wrap-around porch.
“I swear, this house was designed directly from a Bob Ross painting,” I say as Jamie rings the doorbell. “Aw man! I forgot he had a porch swing! I wish my house were big enough to have a porch swing. The closest I ever got was the hammock my dad hung in the backyard. Remember that thing, Amber?”
The front door flies open and my former crush appears and I remember what it was I found so attractive about him. I’m one of those girls who has a weakness for light eyes that seem like they don’t quite fit the muscle-man behind them. He’s nothing to me now but can I really be blamed for once finding those chiseled cheekbones irresistible?
"Hey, Jay-man!" Erik says opening the front door.
This is the first time in almost two years that I am allowing him to see me.
"April Marks," Erik says as we enter the foyer with ceilings as high as the sky. "I haven't seen you since the beginning of freshman year. I mean there were rumors that you've been to some of my parties but I've never seen you. You must have been avoiding me."
“Never,” I tease.
“Good. It would be pretty awkward if you were, considering you and my boy have been all hot and heavy and it was like two-years-ago.”
My heart drops. I can’t believe he just said that. He couldn’t have been more obvious than if he said, “Remember the time you had a crush on me?” All I want to do is crawl under a rock. It was hard enough for me to bring it up with Jamie but to have Erik bring it up here, now, makes it ten times worse.
“Well, we all know I’m not avoiding you and isn’t that really all that matters?” Amber chimes in.
Erik’s face is flushed as turns on his heels toward my best friend.
“Hey Amber,” Erik says as he places his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and lowers his head.
This is so weird. I have never, in all the years I have known him, seen Erik be shy.
I nudge Amber lightly and in true Amber fashion she smiles and mouths, we’ll talk later.
“Where’s the alcohol?” Jamie asks abruptly.
“Oh, dude I’ve totally gone all out for this bash,” Erik says. “Every kind of alcohol you can imagine is laid out in the kitchen. Do I know how to throw a party or what?”
He throws a hand in the air and waits for Jamie to slap him five but Jamie ignores him and heads for the kitchen.
“What was that all about?” Amber asks no one in particular.
“I have no idea,” I shrug but I have a feeling I know.
Erik lowers his hand slowly and scratches his head. "Well you’re the first to arrive so shall we grab a drink before the hounds begin to swarm?" He leads us into the ridiculous kitchen, where Jamie is already digging through the alcohol stash.
If you've ever seen the MTV series, Cribs, then you've basically seen Erik's kitchen. You could put my entire first floor in this kitchen. Two buckets of beer wait for us tucked away in the breakfast nook. Alcohol bottles decorate the bay window and there is a large keg in the corner.
"So what's your poison?" Erik asks me.
"She's not a big drinker," Jamie says, pulling out a beer. “Besides I basically had to convince her to come tonight. April isn’t much of a social butterfly.”
Erik’s eye dart through me as he and Amber share a laugh at my expense.
“Oh, okay then,” Erik stammers. “I’m not really sure what I can offer you. I basically cleared out all the non-alcoholic beverages.”
“I am sure water will be fine, right babe?”
"What?" I am completely taken aback by Jamie’s behavior.
"I'm just saying you aren't a real party girl. This isn't your scene, so just have water. I know you would rather be home watching Backstreet Boys DVDs than hanging out at another one of these parties. Besides didn’t you say you really didn’t like Erik?”
Jamie has never spoken to me like this before, not even when we had that horrible fight. He’s gas lighting me. He is behaving like a child. If he wasn’t okay with the feelings I once had for Erik then he should have said so and I wouldn’t have come tonight. He really had to wait till now to be a dick about it?
"Actually, I'll have a beer," I say and slam my hand into the bucket. The ice ignites my nerves and I let out a squeal. “I wasn’t expecting it to be that cold,” I whisper to Amber.
Jamie's eyes flatten as he takes a swig of beer. I can feel the heat radiating from his face. How can he possibly be angry with me?
“What’s your problem,” I whisper.
My boyfriend says nothing, rolls his eyes and chugs the rest of the beer.
“Dude slow your roll,” Erik laughs as Jamie tosses the empty beer bottle in the garbage. “The night is still young.”
“Yeah, and you drove,” I chime in.
“I’m fine,” Jamie barks and grabs another beer out of the tub and takes a long and loud gulp. “Unlike some, I know how to handle my alcohol.”
What the hell?
25
“Jamie, can I speak wit
h you for a minute...in private?” I ask tugging on his arm.
“Not right now,” Jamie says yanking his arm out of my hand. “The party's just getting started.”
People start to funnel into the house. Liza, Jeremy and her lackeys, Alison Mayfield, Cameron Links and Heather Friend strut through the foyer followed by the entire lacrosse team. It won’t be long before half the school is stumbling through the kitchen.
Liza and her lackeys should be called the “Golden-Haired Triplets.” It is amazing how three girls from three different families can be so alike. They have the same holier than thou attitude and according to Liza they are “the Queens of Perkins Harbor.” They always dress alike and might as well be one whole bitchy person.
Liza has implemented the rule that they have to color coordinate their outfits based on the day of the week. Seriously. I’m not joking. They shop at Forever 21 because they color coordinate their store. It is the strangest thing and no matter how many times I see them in their matching outfits I think of that Lindsay Lohan movie and with good reason; Liza stole the idea from the movie. On Mondays they wear something black because they hate the first day of the school week and black is meant to signify mourning the weekend. Tuesdays and Wednesdays it is usually some color that begins with the first letter of that specific day so Tuesday they wear turquoise dresses and Wednesday it is watermelon wardrobe day. Cameron tends to take the color names too seriously and actually came to school wearing a dress shaped like a watermelon that she had picked up from the Halloween store at The Mall. Thursdays and Fridays are usually a free-for-all so long as they don’t wear any of the colors they’ve already worn that week and the weekends are their standard, barely there dresses. It’s a really confusing system and I’m glad I am not part of their crew.
The Tragedy of Loving Jamie Clarke Page 14