Perfect Christmas: A Paper Dolls Novel

by Blythe Stone

  Avery busted out laughing and danced me in a circle.

  “Poor Nat!” She crowed. “You would think your parents would have a maid to go with their huge ass house. Not that I wouldn't feel like an ass about leaving a mess for the maid,” Avery said.

  “We sort of had an on-call maid for a while but my mom just couldn’t wait and she’d always clean things before the maid showed up,” I explained. “And then she’d be mad that she had to waste her time cleaning things. That’s why I try not to leave messes. But yes, it’s also very rude since it's her kitchen. We should’ve used our own. I don’t know how I even managed to forget.”

  “The only reason I didn't use ours was because we don't have a double oven,” Avery confessed.

  “Well yeah and all the ingredients were in her kitchen,” I reminded. “We bought a few things but we didn’t have everything,” I smiled up at her. “It makes no sense to keep our sometimes kitchen stocked. Ug.”

  “Oh well, I guess we should warn Nat if she ever comes over again,” Avery laughed.

  “Mmm. Let’s not,” I teased. “It’ll be more fun if she doesn’t know why my mom’s being weird with her.”

  On the shelf, straight ahead, there was a new cover of something interesting. I leaned forward and picked it up, observing it closely. “What do you think about this?” I asked Avery. It was something about agoraphobia. A thriller perhaps.

  “I think it looks like something that would interest you so you should get it,” Avery said.

  She hung on my side, as much of her body touching mine as she could manage.

  “I wanna find the queer lady books,” she mumbled.

  “Oooo, the queer laaady books,” I teased. “And where do you even find those? Aren’t those classified as endangered?”

  “No, I'll have you know that there are many of them out in the world, especially for Kindle, but the age old process of printing up books has left plenty of options. They just don't put them in their own section here so I have to hunt them down,” she said.

  “As I rightly said. In fewer words. They’re endangered,” I gloated.

  Where would she even look for them? Big chain stores were no longer trying to be cool. It’s not like there was going to be some elaborate section that screamed GAY LADIES in bold print.

  “There are more of them in the YA section than general fiction and I'm still a YA so let’s go,” she said.

  “Oh boy,” I teased, making her tug me along. Young adult books were cute but there was too much angst and not as much dirt for me. I liked my books gross and messy. Not to mention, you’d never see a young adult book assigned for a college class and right now I was at least attempting to be ahead of the conversations in Lit.

  Avery dragged me over to the young adult section and I immediately saw her eyes start to glow at the NEW in YOUNG ADULT table.

  “This one!” She held up a book that had a pink cover with the back of a girl’s head. She had blue hair. “Queens of Geek,” she read. “Sounds like me.”

  “Mmhmm,” I teased, watching her with my arms folded. “I’m going to challenge you,” I said. “Get me a young adult book I’ll actually love.” I wanted to eat my words. The good thing about this was that young adult books were notoriously fast reads. Like New York Times Bestsellers but for the younger and less egotistical.

  “Okay.” Avery grinned at me and put her hand on her hip. “You wait right there.”

  She walked down the aisle and bent to look at a book lower down on the shelf. She put it back, shaking her head and moving along.

  When she was almost at the end of the shelves she grabbed a book and ran back to me.

  She held it out and let me take it out of her hands. The cover was a mix of blue and greens and the title was As I Descended.

  “Alright, we shall see,” I said, taking the book and tucking it under my arm. It’d be a nice reprieve from my upcoming assigned English books. Half of those were hard to digest poems. I was already kind of sick of the selection and the semester hadn’t even begun.

  “It's Macbeth but with gay teens,” Avery said.

  “Are they girls?” I asked.

  “The main characters are two girls in a secret relationship.”

  “Oh, okay good. If they were boys I was going to decline.”

  “I'd never do you that way, babe,” she said.

  “Well, there’s nothing wrong with that, I’m just more interested in other things… Not to mention I spent most of my life being told to read books about men so I’ve all but reached my limit.”

  “Exactly why I wouldn't suggest a book that didn't have two girls as love interests,” she said and tapped her temple. “I remember some things,” she joked.

  “Hmmm,” I teased, staring at her.

  “What?” She asked.

  “I didn't say anything,” I lied.

  There were all these holiday setups, tables filled with gifty ideas. It'd be very easy to find anyone a gift here. I didn't need to though. My gifts were done.

  “It was implied in your hmm,” Avery fought.

  She backed away from me and narrowed her eyes.

  “I'm going to go find more books to buy. I'll find you in a bit,” she said.

  I didn't see her again till she came walking down the main aisle of the store carrying a teetering stack of books. The books stopped just below her eyes. There was no way she found that many books with queer women protagonists in this store.

  I started toward her, about to help but before I got there a book in the middle of her stack slid out of position and the whole pile fell to the floor.

  Someone rushed in, stopping down and handing Avery books. It was a guy, maybe a little older than us. Well kept, but with a few days’ worth of beard growth, what would be considered outdoorsy handsome. He was like a model for a The North Face website.

  Avery smiled and thanked him and he stayed by her, holding half of the books in his hands.

  I stood back and watched.

  Body language. Smiles.

  Stuff like this always happened when we were out. Especially when, for a moment, we got separated.

  While she spoke to Mr. Handsome, I walked off to find us a basket or a tote.

  My eyes rolled as I passed them by.

  What help was just picking things up? They would fall again. It was idiocy.

  “That's your girlfriend huh,” a pretty shopper asked.

  “Wife,” I smiled, bothered by the scene.

  I saw Avery start toward me again. The guy followed her with the rest of her books.

  “Uh oh,” the woman laughed staring off at the man as he followed Avery towards me.

  Shoot, I thought. As Avery approached I held the basket out for her to use.

  “Oh, I didn't know you were with someone,” the man said, helping the books to one place and looking between the both of us as he rubbed the stubble on his chin and smiled.

  “Yeah,” Avery said.

  She put the books in the basket, and reached out to take it from me.

  “I'd introduce you but I don't know your name,” Avery smiled.

  I honestly hated when Avery did this, she always got all excited when she was about to call me her wife.

  “It's Greg, and you are?” He asked.

  “Avery and this is Olivia,” she said. Relief painted me.

  “It's nice to meet you both and I know this is probably a little weird but would you like to have coffee with me sometime?” Greg had of course turned to face her as he asked.

  “That's super sweet of you but I can't. I'm not available. I'm actually married.”

  “Oh,” he said, looking down to see the wedding ring on Avery's finger. “Sorry.” He glanced over and his eyes widened. “Wait, you two aren't?”

  Avery smiled and shrugged a shoulder.

  “Yep,” she confirmed. “What gave us away?”

  “The matching rings,” he said.

  Greg slid a hand through his purposefully shaggy hair and grinned at
us.

  “Well, I guess I better move on then,” he said. He just stood there and stared for an extra long beat. I waited for the shock to embarrass him and looked straight at him to get him to realize he was being extra weird. “Um. Happy holidays,” he beamed, amused beyond the appropriate spectrum for a random nonsense encounter in a bookstore.

  I rolled my eyes and smiled over to Avery as he walked away. “Can you like, maybe stop being beautiful so this shit stops happening? It's really an inconvenience for me.”

  “Yes, I will get plastic surgery over spring break and make sure I look ugly enough to turn off any other human beings,” Avery said.

  She took the basket from me and kissed my cheek.

  “I seriously don't get it,” she went on, like she always did. “There are plenty of hot girls. Girls that are hotter than me… all over the place.” She looked at me, her brows scrunched. “Why does this happen everywhere we go. Do I have some kind of weird pheromone?”

  “Probably,” I teased. “You attracted me somehow and we all know that's a tough sell.”

  “Right! I was shocked that you gave me the time of day,” Avery smiled.

  “You are right. I was so terribly busy.” Attending all of my clubs and classes and rewatching every single episode of Glee… “Honestly though, it's far more than your pheromones. You're sexy, dummy.”

  “I'm wearing a hoodie and jeans,” she pointed out.

  “It doesn't matter what you fucking wear,” I grumbled, bothered with her. “And I actually find you sexier in that sometimes, if I'm being completely honest with you.”

  “Really?” She turned to me leaning in close. “So, right now you could be finding me extra sexy? Does the messy hair make it more or less hot,” she teased.

  “Usually more,” I smiled. “But sometimes when you make yourself up I'm overwhelmed so I hesitate to say such truthful things.”

  “I'm going to have to test these things out. I might have to dress up for New Year's Eve and blow your mind,” she decided.

  “You blew my mind last night in sloppy cookie clothes with only a fourth of your brainpower intact.

  “And then I cried all over you,” she pointed out.

  “And I got to hold you,” I said. For me that was a reward.

  “Good and you can do it again tonight, minus the tears,” she said.

  “We'll see.”

  “Uh huh,” Avery scoffed. “Let's check out if you're done.”

  “I'm not done actually,” I said, looking over at her. I looked left and then right, pretending to be on the hunt.

  “Looking for something?” She asked.

  “Just checking for more hearts to be broken,” I joked.

  “Rude,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Fine, okay, let's go,” I said, relenting. I thought it was funny but apparently Avery wasn't so very keen on my particular brand of humor.

  She took my hand and tugged on it lovingly. Hopefully no more handsome men would hit on her today.

  When we got in the car I tried to brace myself for the parentals. I'd gotten my dad a kids chemistry set as a joke. All the levels were wrong in the test tubes and beakers and the instructions were laughable. I got him some golf stuff too but the chemistry set was a nice joke.

  For my mom it was a cashmere scarf, a wallet with sterling silver delicate accents and a book on a trial she worked on ages ago.

  The presents didn't bother me. They just never could feel right enough so I hated to try.

  We pulled up to the house and I parked in front since I knew we'd be leaving soon anyway. Why Avery waited so long to see her own parents was beyond me. We'd created an obvious conflict. Well, she did. Half of me wondered if I should skip the dinner with her family to go out with my own. But I knew Avery and she’d want me there. I was stuck in it.

  We walked in the door with our bags and our light-hearted spirits. But as we walked in I heard something that shouldn't have been. It was Natalie's voice.

  “What the hell,” I laughed. Looking over to Avery.

  They were talking and laughing in the kitchen and I could hear it; Natalie, my dad, and my mom.

  “We didn't know she was coming back did we?” Avery whispered.

  “Yeah right,” I laughed. Natalie was such a little shit, dropping in and chatting up my family like they were the fucking Walton’s.

  I walked slowly toward the familiar noise of their overly amused banter.

  “And that's when I told her. Livia, you're like an old person, you need to loosen up.”

  My parents were laughing as I walked into their space.

  “This isn't happening,” I said.

  “Olivia!” My mom practically yelled as she got all excited and scooped me up into a giant bear hug.

  It was only around noon but they were all already drinking.

  “Whiskey?” My dad asked, a rare sparkle in his eye.

  “Why not,” I laughed, walking over to him and taking a sip from his crystal glass.

  He pulled me close so that I'd sort of sit on his leg.

  “The long lost prodigy,” my dad teased.

  I looked to my mom and she had Avery locked in a hug.

  Natalie looked between us and made an amused face. She always said my relationship with my dad turned her on. But then she also gave me shit about not being meaner to him.

  I narrowed my eyes, scowling at her and slowly sipping my dad’s whiskey.

  “This is fantastic,” I said, realizing that what I was drinking had to be expensive as hell.

  “Only the best for my progeny.”

  “Gross,” I laughed, pushing him.

  He held me tight around the waist and kept me with him just to show me he cared. Plain words, he rarely used. Actions and jokes, he dealt in those.

  I noticed the cigars in his shirt pocket. When he had them, there were always two.

  I pulled one out and held it up for him to light.

  “Olivia,” my mother scolded.

  Dad brought his lighter up and lit it as I puffed and then smiled.

  “What happened with your date?” Avery asked Natalie, moving over to her side.

  “We had a nice time,” Natalie said nervously.

  “Nice time,” I teased, looking over at her and knowing that meant they did not have sex.

  I started to chuckle.

  Then the smoke hit me and I started to cough.

  “Serves you right, asshole,” Nat bit.

  “What,” I recovered, trying not to choke on my own joy. “I didn't even say anything.”

  The thought of Natalie flirting all night with someone that hot and getting nowhere physically was enough to bring me joy for the rest of the year.

  She liked to make fun of me for my needs but I knew the reason she loved me was because of them. When we were together the last things we had trouble doing was fucking.

  “Avery, Natalie told me about your cookie crusade,” my mom said.

  “Oh, yeah, sorry about that. The whole mess was my fault. I should’ve cleaned it up. It won’t happen again,” Avery said.

  I lazily watched the scene unfold amongst my cloud of smoke.

  “Do they smoke cigars at Stanford?” My father asked.

  “Only the reject kids,” I teased.

  “Hmpf. So, nothing's changed,” he chuckled. “I'll bet they play dirty poker too.”

  “Like thieves,” I said. “And they only trade in doubloons, you remember that.”

  “Hu-Ha!” He laughed loudly, lighting his cigar and puffing smoke better than me. “Touché Olivia,” he chuckled. “You get much better with age.”

  “I'm sure that's just your imagination,” I joked.

  Natalie kept looking over at me and I kept on giving her the cold stare.

  Then I'd look at Avery and daze. Whiskey already making me sleepy as my fingers absentmindedly touched my own skin.

  “Well girls, it's been lovely but Olivia’s mother and I have a few important things to pick up before nigh
tfall.”

  I snapped back into myself and felt him standing me back up on my feet.

  I watched them motion goodbye as I sat back down, poured a little more whiskey, and slumped over the counter on my father's abandoned stool.