I’m bored. Coop’s a nightmare. Milo wants to switch up the set.
Okay, that’s kind of like he wants me there because he wants to spend time with me. Right? I’ll take it. But I’m not getting up yet. Just because I want him above, like, breathing doesn’t mean I’m going to let him know that.
Smiling to myself, I reply.
Sorry, busy. I’m in the bath.
It’s a small lie. I’m lying down. I’m just not in water.
Naked selfie?
I bite my lip as I read his last message a few times over. Kitt has never seen me naked before. The idea of it makes my body burn and not just from the temperature of my pretend bath.
I’m a good girl, Kitt.
So, be bad.
I consider what to send next when I get another text from him.
Fuck, I’m hard.
Holy…
Is it possible to faint while lying down? Right now, I’m thinking yes.
I press my legs together, but it only heightens the throbbing.
I made him hard. Again. He was hard the night he slammed me against my wall and kissed me like his life depended on it. He was rock solid the night he made us come in the cage.
You’re a guy. You’re always hard.
I said that because I might want him to tell me it’s not because he wants to get laid but because he wants me.
Not true. Are you sending me this pic? I’ll send you one first if you’re shy.
What?
I sit up so fast that I almost fall back down.
Oh my God. What the hell? Is he serious? Oh, please be serious.
Wait.
Kitt is very anti pissing my dad off, so I’m not convinced he’s sending those messages right under my dad’s nose. At the Christmas party, he didn’t follow me upstairs until after Dad had left to drive Cynthia home from the party.
Coop?
I send the text with trembling fingers and swallow bile. My body is ice cold. I don’t want it to be another one of Cooper’s jokes, but this has a Cooper prank written all over it.
My phone starts to ring, and it’s Kitt. Well, it’s his number. I’m not sure if it’ll be him on the other end of it. I press Accept and hold the phone to my ear.
I’m nervous. My heart is beating rapidly as I grip the phone so hard that the tendons in my wrist pop up.
“Are you telling me, you want Cooper to send you a pic of his dick?” Kitt hisses.
Sweet mother of…
It was him!
And he sounds pissed.
I open my mouth and quickly close it again. My brain has turned to mush, and I can’t think of one thing to say.
“Texas?”
“Um…no.”
“Um, no? That’s all you have to say?”
Okay, what’s happening right now? “No, I mean”—I sigh—“I don’t want to see a picture of Cooper’s anything. Your last message…I thought maybe he’d taken your phone.”
“Why?” he questions. His voice is low, and it echoes, so he must be locked away in a bathroom or somewhere like that.
“I didn’t think you’d offer to send me what you actually offered to send me.”
“Well, I did.” He groans like he’s just realised what he was about to do. “Fuck.”
In my need to save face because I can’t have him rejecting me again, I say, “I know. Forget it, okay? We were just messing around. No harm done.”
There’s a pause on his end of the line, and I feel the tension growing and taking physical form. My pulse is thudding in my ears. He’s annoyed because he thought I wanted Cooper.
“No harm done. Right. When are you coming over here?” he says. He’s reserved, and he sounds like he’s doing that neck-scratch thing he does when he’s uncomfortable.
“Er, I’ll get ready and have Ted drive me.”
“Fine.”
I frown and stand up to grab my leather jacket. “Are you okay?” I almost don’t want to ask because I can see it turning into an argument.
He had that tone in his voice. For some reason, I can wind him up in a second.
He clears his throat. “Yes, I’m great. I’ve got to go. Carl’s calling me.”
Kitt hangs up the phone.
Carl wasn’t calling him. Kitt just lied. He was desperate to get off the phone.
Did he see where this was headed, too?
How did we go from almost sexting to barely talking?
He’s so frustrating!
Being around him and all this back and forth and up and down is like being on a terrifying roller coaster ride, and the worst part is, I don’t even want to get off—the ride, that is.
KITT
FRIDAY, MAY 8
PARIS, FRANCE
Since my phone call with Texas, I’ve been frustrated and pissed off. Why did I even go there?
A beautiful girl tells me she’s in the bath, and my dick immediately takes control over the situation. I didn’t think. There is no fucking bath on the bus! She’s making me lose my mind.
She’ll be here soon. It’s been almost an hour since we spoke on the phone.
What would I have done if she’d sent that photo? It terrifies me how far I might take it when I’m not thinking clearly, which is all the time she’s near or when I’m thinking about her.
I need to make it stop.
Tex is off-limits, and that’s hot as hell. It’s like putting sweets in front of a kid, saying not to eat them, and then leaving the room. They won’t be able to resist, and I’m not sure I will if she offers herself up.
I’m in my dressing room, sucking down whiskey like it’s water.
Milo would be pissed if he saw how much I’d had already. We’ve got hours before we go on, so I’ll sober up in time, but he will definitely have a few things to say about my behaviour.
And he’ll be right.
This is our first show. The first damn one! I need to be on top of my game, not have my head screwed over by some unattainable girl. Shit, I can have anyone I want. After the show, there will be plenty of women willing to come back to my dressing room or hotel with me.
Why do I want inside the pants of the one I can’t have?
Who am I? Cooper?
I need Texas out of my system. If I could just have one night with her, things could go back to how they were before I started to wonder what she felt like.
You don’t believe that.
Closing my eyes, I fist the glass to the point where I feel it could give way.
It can’t happen. Get a-fucking-hold of yourself.
Someone knocks on my door.
I down the last of the whiskey, drop the tumbler on the table, and shout, “Yeah?”
Texas walks in, looking like my own brand of perfect. Her hair is in a messy plait to the side, her lips are red, and she’s wearing skintight jeans, a plain grey top, and a leather jacket.
I want to push her over the dressing table and hold on to nothing but that hair.
Clearing my throat, I smirk. “So glad you could make it.”
She narrows her eyes and puts her hands on her hips, which makes her top stretch over her breasts.
Fuck. Me.
“Shut up. I don’t need to be here early. And I hope that was apple juice.”
“Of course it was.”
Smiling, she shakes her head. “You’re terrible, rock star. Are you crippled with nerves yet?”
She closes the door and sits down on the large sofa with a grin. Her legs are stretched out in front of her. I want them wrapped around my neck.
Shut up. Resist. You can’t go there. Tonight, you can have any girl you want—more than one if you feel like it.
I might just do that.
“Nope, I’m fine.”
“Hmm, all thanks to the whiskey?”
“I’ve only had a couple.”
“Keep it that way. You can get drunk after.”
“Plan to. You’re still coming to the club, right?”
I don’t know why I’m asking. Of cour
se she’s still coming. She loves the after-parties almost as much as Coop does.
“Duh. I plan to get so drunk that one of you arseholes will have to carry me to my room.”
“I might be busy,” I say, wiggling my eyebrows so that she knows what I mean, not that she wouldn’t. “I’ll be sure to let Milo and Coop know.”
Ted would get her home, no matter what, but we’ve always looked out for her. We made a promise to a man who’s given us everything. Protect Texas. Included in that is, don’t fucking touch her. Two out of us three is good, right?
I’m a bastard.
“Lovely,” she says, turning her nose up. “You know, it’s not a requirement to sleep with all the fans.”
“No, but it sure is fun.”
She rolls her eyes, and then they settle on disappointment. It makes my gut clench.
“Come on, Tex, if you’d had me before, you wouldn’t be trying to keep other women from experiencing this.” I gesture to my dick with my hand.
“If you’re going to keep this up, I’ll go and see if Carl needs me to do anything. But if you want to switch back to my normal Kitt, I’ll stay.”
Her normal Kitt.
I can’t play stupid and pretend like I don’t know what she means. I didn’t intend on talking about women with her. It’s like a defence mechanism. If she really, really knows that I’m fully happy with sleeping around—which I am—then she won’t flirt back.
Of course, it would be easier if I didn’t flirt first or if I didn’t fantasise about being inside her quite so much. But since I’m incapable of doing those things, I need something to keep her at a distance. Turning her off is the only thing stopping us from making another mistake. And that’s what it would be—a mistake. It might be one I want to repeat over and over, but that doesn’t change anything.
Sex with her would be the best kind of wrong.
I hold my hands up. “Sorry. I’ll save that talk for the guys.”
“Thank you. Got anything good to eat?” She purses her lips and checks out the food on the side table.
I requested more than what I’ve got, but that’ll be here a bit later. We’re early because it’s our first show and because Milo is like a worrying old woman.
She picks up a bag of giant milk chocolate buttons and opens it without asking—not that she needs to ask, but you know, be polite. But we’ve gotten way past the point where we need to ask. We’re at the point where we could very easily share orgasms under clothes.
The door bursts open, and Coop strolls through with Milo a few paces behind. They each have a beer in their hands.
I push the whiskey bottle behind my hair shit. “Fuck do you two want?”
Milo gives me the middle finger. “You seen the stage recently? I nearly came, bro, I swear!”
Texas fake gags and eats more chocolate.
“It looks good,” I agree. I’m playing this down because if I acknowledge just how big it is, I’ll be plagued with nerves, and I need to keep myself in control. This means too much to let anything ruin it. I need a clear head. I need to think of it as another supporting gig.
And I need to expel Tex from my mind.
“Maybe you shouldn’t eat those,” Tex says to Coop as he tips a handful of giant milk chocolate buttons into his palm.
Milo laughs. “Yeah, don’t want to puke everywhere.”
“Fuck off,” Coop growls.
“You fuck off.”
Tex and I share a look. They’re like an old married couple most of the time.
“Let him eat them. It’ll be funny,” I say, sticking my middle finger up.
“You can fuck off, too.”
“Someone take me to see the stage,” Tex demands.
She stands up, and I can’t help but let my eyes follow her.
Coop throws the pack of chocolate down. “I’ll take you.”
There’s definitely an innuendo in there, but she doesn’t bite.
Milo’s eyes are on me the entire time. He waits until they’ve left, and then he cocks his eyebrow.
“What?” I ask.
“You two have been pretty cosy recently.”
“We’re friends.”
“Mmhmm.”
Prick.
“If you have something to say, Milo…”
“Out of the two of us, I think you’re the one who should be talking. Last night, she was practically lying all over you, and today, you’re eye-fucking her. What’s going on?”
I bend over on the chair and cover my face with my hands. “Fuck.”
“How far has it gone?”
“Too far,” I reply, groaning.
“You’ve slept together?”
My head snaps up. His dark eyes are wide.
“No. Not quite that far. We’ve kissed a couple of times, and there was this thing.” I try so hard not to smile, but I can’t force the muscles around my mouth to stop lifting.
“What thing?”
“Doesn’t matter. Let’s just say, it was hot as hell. And it shouldn’t have happened.”
“I’m sorry. Have you lost your tiny mind?”
I laugh. “Yeah, I really think I have.”
“This isn’t a game, Kitt!” he snaps.
“Believe me, I know. Do you think, if I could help it, it would have happened? I don’t want to need her, Milo, and I’ve tried to stop. We kissed at her old man’s Christmas party, and since then, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head.”
“Jesus,” he breathes.
“I don’t know what’s going on between us. We don’t want to fuck things up with Mark. I swear to you, I won’t do anything to lose what we’ve got, man.”
He narrows his eyes and folds his arms over his chest. “You think that’s what I care about? You’re my brother, Kitt. I care if you and Tex are okay. You’ve never been cut up over a girl before. You like her.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“You want to be exclusive?”
“Exclusive…” I say, testing the word. It used to leave a nasty taste on my tongue. Now, it conjures the picture of Texas in my head. “Oh, shit. I want that.”
Milo’s smug. He tilts his head and smirks. “Good luck, man.”
He’s the only one of us who’s been in a relationship, one that lasted longer than a couple of months anyway. Milo and Lexi were together for three years.
“Are you subtly trying to tell me relationships are shit?”
My question wipes the smile off his face.
“No, they’re not.” He doesn’t say more than that, but there are so many things left unsaid that I start to worry about him.
“Do you miss her?”
“We’ve been in contact.”
“Oh. And?”
He shrugs. “Two years have passed, Kitt. I thought I was over her.”
His admission isn’t a huge surprise. The way he’s been going through women though, I assumed he’d moved on.
“How is she?” I ask.
I always liked Lexi, but the more time Milo had to spend on the road, the more they grew apart. Lexi started to resent the band. She was never nasty and would never ask him to leave. She’d break her own heart before she tried to kill his dream.
“She’s doing really well,” he says, sounding genuinely happy. “She’s opened her own boutique where she sells her designs. I guess all that sketching has paid off.”
“That’s great, man. Are you going to meet up with her?”
He shakes his head, and his jaw clenches. “She’s with someone.”
Damn. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugs, but his eyes wince with hurt. “I let her go. I can’t be pissed when she’s found someone who wouldn’t.”
“Did she say she doesn’t want to meet?”
“No, she wants to get coffee.”
“You should.”
“No, I don’t mind talking to her on Facebook occasionally, but I’m done with her. We ended a long time ago, and I’m looking to the future. Lexi is the past.”
/>
She doesn’t sound very in the past.
“All right.” I pour whiskey in my glass and hand it over.
He doesn’t want to talk, and that’s fine. He knows where I am.
He takes the glass and downs the amber liquid. “Cheers.”
Texas and Cooper come back in minutes later. They both look like they went to do coke, not look at a stage.
Tex bounces on her toes and shoves her phone in my face. “Look how awesome it is! I can’t wait!”
Milo puts the empty glass on the table.
“Come on, let’s fuck shit up and then get laid,” I say. Coping mechanism.
Texas spins around and jumps on Milo’s back. He laughs and grips her calves.
Fuck, I love seeing her like this. But I wish her legs were wrapped around me.
At least Milo is smiling again though.
Mark, Jimmy, and Will are legends. I stand backstage, watching them from the wing. Mark’s stage presence is undeniable. They finish up on one of their most popular songs, and it’ll soon be our turn.
I can’t believe we’re about to start our opening show of our world tour. It’s still so surreal. There couldn’t have been a better place to start than Paris. The love and support we’ve received from our French fans is mind-blowing. The date sold out within hours, so we had to add a second show.
I’m buzzing so hard that you’d think I’d been on a cocaine binge. Milo and Coop are standing closer to the edge of the stage with beers, enjoying the show, but I’m a little farther back with Tex.
Mark’s voice carries through the entire stadium, owning it. If I get to be half as good as him, I’ll consider my career a huge success.
Tex takes my beer from my hand and helps herself to a sip before handing it back.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
Smiling brightly, she replies, “You’re welcome. Are you nervous?”
“A bit. This is what I’m good at, and I know I’ll fucking rock, but I don’t want to mess this up.”
“You’ve never messed up a set before, and you’ve done tons of shows.”
“I know, but I don’t want to let the guys down. Tonight is kind of a big deal.”
“You need to calm down. You’ve gone white,” she says, placing her hand on my forehead.
I have?
“Don’t puke—at least, not until after the show.”
“Thanks. That’s helpful.”
With the Band (With the Band #1) Page 9