She laughs and puts a stray stand of hair behind her ear. “All right, just pretend this isn’t your tour. You’re supporting Enigma. By the way, do you think that band name is lame, too?”
I chuckle. “You’re a terrible daughter.”
With a shrug, she wraps her arms around my waist. Milo is suddenly finding this more interesting than watching Enigma. I don’t care right now.
“You’re going to be fine, Kitt. You’ve got the sexiest, most incredible voice I’ve ever heard, and you rock the guitar. You guys are my favourite band. Stop worrying, okay?”
I pull her against my chest and hold her close. She’s the only girl I feel comfortable enough to do this with. The rest of them want something. Tex doesn’t care about the fame, what I do, or how much money I have. She just wants me, and that makes resisting her ten times harder.
“You think I have a sexy voice?”
“Don’t let it get to your head, rock star. Everyone knows you do. Your voice is kinda rough, and when you sing, you sound…”
Laughing, I offer, “Filthy?”
“Yeah,” she replies, looking up at me. “Massive ego thing to name your band after your sound, by the way.”
“Not really. It’s my band.”
“You could’ve had anything.”
“You don’t like Filthy Sound?”
She shakes her head and squeezes my middle. “No, I do.”
“What would you have called us?”
Giggling, she pulls away and stands straight. “It changes often, depending on my mood and how idiotic you’re all acting.”
“Wow. So, only bad things, huh?”
“Pretty much. Hey, they’re almost finished with the last song. Are you ready to rock, Daniels?”
“Fuckin’ right I am, Knight. You’ll be watching?”
“Of course! Sing my favourite loudest.”
I drop my arms and bow, which makes her laugh. “Anything for my number one fan.”
“Hmm, anything, huh? I’ll think about that. Now, go! Cooper looks like he’s about to rip your head off.”
Just as Tex finishes her sentence, Coop shouts, “Come the fuck on, Kitt!”
She raises her eyebrow. “See? Go.”
Before I think about what I’m doing, I lean down and kiss her forehead. It felt right. Clearly, she thinks so, too, because she smiles and bites her lip. I back away and take a deep breath. It wasn’t a smart move, but it’s done now.
She’s here, and she’ll be watching. You’ve got this.
I’m not usually nervous, but we have to do this right. The fans deserve the best, and Enigma doesn’t have to do things, like support our little band. They’re far too big for that. We can never let them down.
We stand at the edge while our instruments are changed over. People are everywhere, fussing around and making sure everything is ready.
Jodie arrived a while ago and is back to firing encouragement at us.
I look back at Tex as I swing my guitar over my head, and she gives me a shy smile. She is my calm in all this crazy.
You are so fucking screwed.
Mark joins her, and I look away.
“Are you ready?” Jodie asks.
Milo bounces up and down. “Oh, yeah!”
“Let’s get out there,” I say, itching to start playing.
The lights on stage go out, and everyone screams.
I take a moment before I follow Milo and Coop out. This is so overwhelming in the best way. Adrenaline pumps through my veins as I walk out, and the lights flick on. I raise my hand in acknowledgment of the audience, and the noise reaches a deafening point.
Damn, I want to do this every night.
The atmosphere is electric.
Every time, I get this huge rush that I can’t get enough of. But this, tonight, is something else.
“Good fucking evening, Paris!” Cooper shouts down his mic.
There’s another wave of screams. People are shouting to us, but together, it’s just noise.
“If you want us to start, I’m gonna need to see some titties! Right, boys?” He turns to us.
I laugh. Here we go…
“He’s right, ladies,” Milo says.
Chuckling, I shake my head and scan the audience. There are a few hotties I wouldn’t mind having a peek at. It takes less than a second for dozens of women in the front few rows to lift their tops.
This is Coop’s favourite part of each show, I’m sure.
“You ladies look fucking beautiful tonight,” I say, earning massive screams. “So…are you ready?”
The noise kicks up.
“He said, are you fucking ready?” Cooper bellows.
I close my eyes and grip the mic.
TEXAS
FRIDAY, MAY 8
PARIS, FRANCE
“They’re awesome, right?” I say, tugging on Dad’s arm.
Laughing, he nods his head. “There was never any doubt, pumpkin. I wouldn’t have taken a chance on just anyone.”
“Kitt looked nervous before they went on. None of them want to let you and your rubbish band down. Or everyone out there.”
Dad cuts me a look. “As ever, Texas, your support is heartwarming.”
I giggle and hug his arm. I feel like I’m drunk, and it takes me a second to realise that it’s because I’m so bloody proud and excited for the guys. For Kitt. “Do you still get nervous?”
He thinks for a minute before slowly shaking his head. “No. I think I’ve been doing it too long to get nervous. Being on the stage is second nature to me now, as natural as breathing.”
“Well, you’ve definitely been doing it for too long,” I quip.
“You do know my career is the reason you’re living this life. A life you love?”
“Totes, Daddy. I’m not saying you’re not awesome, but you’re definitely past it. Hey, I’m still happy to be seen with you.”
“Thank you for not being too embarrassed by me.”
“She is, man. We just pay her,” Will says, winking at me.
Ha, I love it when they join in.
“Right. I don’t think you could afford to bribe her,” Dad replies.
“Ah! He’s got you there, Will,” Jimmy adds.
There is a lot of money talk where I’m concerned, and I don’t know why. I’m not expensive to keep! At least, I don’t think so anyway.
“I’m not embarrassing,” Dad argues.
Will smirks and dips his chin in my direction. “Not to us, but to a teenager…”
They start a full-blown argument about which one of them is the least embarrassing to a teenager—the answer is none—and I tune it out in favour of watching Kitt, Cooper, and Milo perform. Without thinking, I let go of Dad and step closer.
Kitt’s voice calls me, beckoning me forward.
He is beautiful up there onstage. The way he moves his body is so sexual that I feel myself getting hot. I’m sure I’m not the only one. The women I see out in the crowd are all bidding for his attention, trying to get him to notice them. He sings to everyone, individually, all at once.
Kitt owns the stage. The way he handles the guitar at the same time as singing his heart out is magnificent to watch. I can’t tear my eyes away. He demands the attention of every person. Including me. Always me.
A heavy arm rests on my shoulder, and Will chuckles. “They’re going to be bigger than us.”
“Going to be?”
“Hilarious. I just hope your head is screwed on when it comes to Kitt.”
Yeah, I don’t like where this is going.
“I don’t expect anything, Will. I’ll be fine.”
Only, I know I won’t be fine. We’ve never been together or done anything more than kiss and…dry-humped, but my feelings are real. I would love to turn them off because loving someone who doesn’t love you back is heartbreaking.
And Will is right. They’re going to be huge, and I’ll still be little Texas, daughter of an aging rock god. It’s pitiful really.
; Finding something I’m good at and that I want to do needs to be shot to number one on my to-do list, even above bingeing on every season of American Horror Story.
“I hope so, Texas, because I don’t like it when you’re hurting.”
“He can’t hurt me. We’re not together.”
Lies, lies, lies.
Will knows it, and I know it. We look at each other with the understanding that I’m talking out of my arse right now.
I sigh. “All right, fine. It’s cool though. I know the score. I’m not some idiot, expecting the world from someone who’s currently trying to conquer it.”
“What you expect and what you want might be two different things, but that doesn’t mean it’ll hurt any less.”
Awesome. This conversation is uplifting.
“Got it, chief. I’m all good,” I say lightly, playfully punching his stomach.
“All right, girl.” He kisses the side of my head.
We watch the rest of their set in silence, occasionally singing along. Kitt does sing my favourite song louder than the rest, and it makes my heart ache. Through the whole thing, he sings out into the crowd, but it’s for me. He holds the mic with two hands when he doesn’t need to play the guitar and sings like his life depends on it.
It’s the best I’ve ever heard that song, and it brings a tear to my eye.
Yep, this is going to really hurt.
My heart is racing as he bellows out the lyrics. I’m falling harder, and it’s terrifying. I’m completely overwhelmed by him.
After the show, we head to a local club.
Dad’s been to enough after-parties to know that the later you stay, the better they get, but he, Jimmy, and Will still move on elsewhere most of the time. He trusts me, and more importantly, he trusts Ted, who would never leave me, no matter how much I beg him to.
Will is the first one to leave because he’s made a female friend for the night. Jimmy has spent most of his time texting Saskia, so he and Dad head out to a quieter venue where they can talk about things old people talk about to other older celebrities.
Kitt throws his arm over my shoulder as we watch my dad leave. “Now, you can play properly,” he whispers in my ear.
His breath tickles my neck and makes me shudder. His eyes are flirtatious and alluring, drawing me in and making me hot with desire.
I think my ovaries just imploded.
“Hmm, how does one do that then?” I ask, putting on a posh accent.
“Well, darling, one simply gets fucked up,” he replies.
“All right.” I turn to him, laugh, and link my arm in his. “Fuck me up real good, Daniels.” Double meaning there.
I try to keep a straight face, but his sharp intake of breath drives me wild.
He leans even closer, and his lips brush my ear.
Oh God.
“Be careful with your choice of words, or you could get something you’ve not bargained for.”
That would be nice.
“Oh, really?” I say, tilting my head the way Peyton’s character does when she’s being sexy. Bet I look like a tit doing it.
This is a dangerous game I’m playing. He doesn’t know it, and I don’t want him to, but he holds all the power. I want him. It’s his choice if anything happens between us. It’s my heart that has the potential to be crushed.
I can’t take this too far.
Self-preservation mode: On.
Back out of this.
“Are you buying me a drink or not?” I ask, moving over so that he’s not almost on top of me.
No more flirting. It won’t end well.
He’ll probably be shagging someone else in a matter of hours. My heart aches at the thought of him leaving with another woman. I’ve seen it so many times before, and it never gets easier. When he touches them, kisses them, tells them how pretty they are, I want to die—or rip their fingernails from the beds.
He stands straighter and nods. “Let’s find Milo and Coop and do some shots.”
Taking my hand in an innocent gesture, Kitt leads me through the VIP area where we look for the two amigos on the prowl. My hand feels so right in his. Everywhere he touches me, even accidentally, comes alive.
I hate how much I want him, and I hate that I can’t stop it. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much it hurts me, I can’t stop him from being my heart.
I love him.
I’m in love with someone who doesn’t love me back.
“Texas!” Cooper shouts across the room.
The music is loud, but everyone still heard him. He bounds over and picks me up in a bear hug.
“Oh my God,” I squeak as his arms crush my chest. “Put me down, pisshead!”
“Dance with me,” he says, carrying me toward the dance floor.
I don’t have a choice. Laughing, I slap his back and give Kitt a wave. Looks like I’m dancing with Coop for a bit.
Cooper puts me down and tugs me against his chest. I wrap my arms around his neck as we move to “Bang Bang.” He’s a good dancer, and when he’s wasted like this, he’s even better.
Over Cooper’s shoulder, I notice Kitt at the bar with a girl. Seeing him lean in and smile at her is like swallowing fire.
Don’t look.
I focus on Coop and the music.
You knew this was going to happen. It isn’t a surprise. This is what you two do.
I’m getting pretty sick of what we do.
I want to stop loving Kitt.
I will make myself stop loving him—right after I get off-my-face drunk.
Rubbing the ache in my chest, I say, “Coop, let’s do shots until we can’t walk.”
He pulls back and stretches his arms up. “Texas Knight, I love you!”
Even though my heart feels like Kitt is taking frequent stabs at it, I still laugh. I can ignore him and his conquest for tonight. I can have fun with a guy who doesn’t hurt me.
“Please just get me drunk. Right now.”
Coop grabs my hand and pulls me to the bar. Thankfully, he doesn’t spot Kitt, and we end up in a space farther down. I don’t want to make small talk with them.
I want to pretend he doesn’t exist.
“We’ll take ten shots of tequila, please,” Cooper says to the stunning girl behind the bar. He speaks to her chest, but she doesn’t seem to care.
“Ten? I want to be drunk, not dead.”
He gives me a lopsided smile. “I know. That’s why I’m only allowing three for you. It’s all you need, little lightweight.”
“Great. I’m carrying your arse home…”
“Kitt will do that. Looks like he’ll be spending most of his night shagging than drinking.”
More frequent stabs. I force myself to smile, and it takes great effort.
You need to find a way to stop this shit. It’s getting out of hand.
But how?
KITT
FRIDAY, MAY 8
PARIS, FRANCE
The blonde has been all over me, like a fucking rash. She’s one of the more enthusiastic ones, and I know she will do anything to please me. It turns me on. I love it when a beautiful woman’s only goal is to make me come. Who wouldn’t?
Since Texas went to dance with Coop, he’s been her favourite. I know I’m being a dickhead, and this is my fault, but we have to try not to slip up. This is the best way I can think of to do that.
We’re now in the car, and Ted is driving us back to the hotel. Texas is in front of me with Cooper, and the blonde and I are in the back row. Her hand is cupping my dick through my jeans as she kisses my neck.
Tex hasn’t moved since we got in the car, not even an inch.
She reminds me of when I was about five, and I’d see boys playing football with their dads at the park. I’d get so upset that I didn’t have my dad that I’d freeze, thinking it would somehow reverse time. It was like, if I sat so still and concentrated so hard, then he’d walk up to me with a ball under his arm. It was stupid.
I didn’t do it much aft
er I’d told my grandparents why I was a statue. They realised I was at an age where I understood the loss of my mum and dad more, and they helped me come to terms with it. And that weekend, my nan packed up a picnic, and we all spent the day at the park, playing football and eating cake.
Is Texas a statue because she’s hoping it’ll stop this from being real?
No, of course not. You are reading way too much into this. She’s probably asleep.
The blonde—fuck, I wish I’d listened when she told me her name—is trailing kisses along my jaw, and I start to get rock solid.
Because you’re looking at Texas. This is wrong, you sick fuck.
We arrive at the hotel, and Ted ushers us inside. There’s no one about at this hour, and since we went straight from yesterday’s hotel to the arena to the after-party, no one knows this is where we’re staying.
“Coop, you’re walking Tex back, right?” I say as we approach my suite on the eleventh floor.
My room is near the lift while Texas’s room must be farther on. The guys are somewhere in between.
“I can make it,” she says with sarcasm.
There’s a tightness to her voice that doesn’t suit her. She looks like an angel, and her mouth sometimes forgets it.
“I got it, man,” Coop replies, picking Tex up and throwing her over his shoulder.
She immediately starts shouting and thumping his back, but that wouldn’t bother Coop.
He’s probably turned on by it. My eye twitches.
“Come on, baby,” the blonde coos, rubbing me through my jeans.
I get more turned on when Tex looks at me. We’re in the middle of the corridor, but that doesn’t seem to bother her. And I couldn’t care less about anything right now because I’m pissed off.
Why am I so fucking obsessed with Texas Knight?
Forget her, and lose yourself in this girl. There are no consequences if you shag her. No one cares. Except you.
I slot the card in the door, and it clicks open.
“Night,” Ted mutters, laughing, as he follows Cooper to Tex’s room.
Pushing the girl into my room, I give Ted the middle finger over my shoulder. As soon as the door is shut, she yanks at my jeans, as if she’s strong enough to rip through the material. I have a spike-studded belt on. Ain’t gonna happen, love.
With the Band (With the Band #1) Page 10