“What? Why?” Texas snaps.
Milo winces and rubs his forehead. “Because it happened outside our bus. It looks like they were trying to get in. This was not long after you two went inside.”
Fuck.
People try to get out to the back exit all the time to catch us leaving. I should’ve been more careful.
“Well, that’s it. Grab your passport, Kitt. We need to run to Mexico.”
I clamp her hand down, stopping her from getting up. “You’re being dramatic.”
“How am I being dramatic? I don’t want my dad to see that. Milo, stop him.”
“How do you want me to do that, porn star?”
Texas growls and shoots daggers out of her eyes. “Someone needs to do something because my dad is going to freak.”
“Ted’s with him in the security room. The venue sent the footage to Ted. I think he’s going to try to calm your dad down.”
“You know,” I say, “I didn’t give Mexico enough thought.”
Milo leans his back against the wall and folds his arms. “No one is running anywhere. Don’t worry, like I said, you couldn’t see much. Not once you got down to it against the bus.”
Great.
I glare. “Easy for you to say, buddy.”
“Yeah, it is, but I’m not the one who had sex against the bus, so let’s lay the blame of that at you two’s feet. This might be a blessing in disguise. Kitt, your mood swings are worse than puberty, and, Tex, you’re being eaten alive by guilt. Have that conversation, get all the embarrassment and shame out of the way, and tell Mark you’re solid. It is the only way.”
Milo Sterling is making sense. Since he let Lexi go, I didn’t think I’d trust him on the romance front again.
“I’m scared,” Tex whispers. Her face is pale, and she looks about ready to pass out.
I turn to her, Milo forgotten. Lifting her chin, I kiss her. “Do you trust me?”
She nods her head. “Of course, but—”
“No. I hate the idea of him seeing that. It really doesn’t look good on our part, but I don’t regret a thing that’s happened between us.”
“I wouldn’t regret bus sex either,” Milo mutters.
I ignore him. “We’ll make Mark see what this is, okay?”
“He’s going to hate me.”
“He could never hate you, Tex. You’re his daughter.” I brush her hair behind her ear, letting my fingers linger over her skin. She’s so soft. “This will be okay. You have my word.”
She swallows. “Okay. What do we say? The truth about everything?”
“We have to. We’ll go back to the start.”
“I like the start.”
I smile. “So do I.”
“Mushy as fuck. I’m out.” Milo leaves the room and shuts the door.
I don’t take my eyes off Texas. She’s looking at me with so much hope that I feel like I’m suffocating. She believes I can fix this, and I’m not sure how Mark will react yet.
She believes you because you promised her, dick.
“Do you want me to do the talking, or do you think it’ll be better coming from you?” I ask.
My head is starting to throb, and I want to ignore that this is happening, but Texas has gone stiff with fear, and she doesn’t look good.
She’s mine, and it’s my job to make this okay. Somehow, I have to work this perfectly to convince Mark that we’re real. He will find out about us through our fucking sex tape. It’s going to take a miracle.
“What if he tries to send me away?”
“You’re nineteen, Texas. You can do what you want and go where you want.”
She drops her eyes and frowns, like she’s only just realising that’s true. “I don’t know how I can stay around him if he wants me gone.”
“Then, we’ll ditch the bus and travel to each city on our own.”
“What?” Her voice is breathless as her eyes whip up to meet mine. “You would do that?”
“Texas, there isn’t a single place on this planet that I wouldn’t follow you to. Whatever happens from today, we stick together. We show your dad how strong we are. We prove to him that I’m not messing around and that you’re safe with me.”
She sinks into my chest and wraps her arms around my neck. “I feel safe.”
“I love you,” I whisper, burying my head in her hair.
We won’t have long before he comes storming in, so we need to be out of my room and downstairs. Damn it, I wish Copenhagen was a hotel city, but our stay here is short.
“Come on, we need to head down.”
Pulling away enough for me to see her face, she says, “I love you, too, Kitt. Please let that be strong enough to not let my dad scare you off.”
“Not happening. I don’t scare easy, and if I want something, I’m going to have it. We promised each other forever, and that’s damn well what we’re getting. Now, downstairs. We have to talk to your dad about our sex tape. Think they’ll give me a copy of that?”
She swats my arm, but for the first time since Milo barged in, she has colour in her cheeks as she laughs.
TEXAS
FRIDAY, MAY 29
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK
Kitt and I reach the bottom step when the door flies open and slams back on the metal wall outside.
My heart free-falls.
I don’t want to do this. My legs are preparing to turn and get me the hell out of here when Kitt takes my hand. I feel his strength and courage seeping through, willing me to stay calm and do this right. No one else is in here, and I think that’s purposely done. Ted or Hank probably rang ahead and made everyone leave.
“Texas!” Dad bellows. He rounds the corner and freezes when he sees us. His face is red, the tendons in his neck are protruding, and his fists are clenched by his sides.
Oh God.
He pins us both to the spot with a look of pure rage. “Sit. Down. Now.”
We take a seat on the sofas with the table between, safer with a buffer. Kitt puts his hands out on the wooden surface and holds eye contact with my dad. Kitt’s spine is straight, and he looks like a picture of calm.
How is he so composed? My back is hunched, and my arms are holding myself together.
On a sigh, Dad drops his arms on the table. “We need to have a chat.” His voice is eerily cool for the situation.
It’s the same voice he used on me when I accidentally put hair dye in this ho’s shampoo bottle. She was trying to be his groupie, and…well, we all know how that ends. He was anything but calm when we got back to the hotel suite. And just to clear things up, I was twelve at the time.
“I want to know what was going through your head?” Dad asks. His question is for me.
I gape at him. He wants to know what I was thinking about when Kitt was taking me against the tour bus?
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kitt’s eyes widen, as if he can read my mind.
“He means, why did you do it, Tex?” Kitt says quickly, shooting me a what-the-fuck-are-you-on look.
Wow. Okay, close call. I shrug. “I-I don’t know.”
Dad swallows hard and says through gritted teeth, “You don’t know what you were thinking when you gave your virginity away to a musician up against the side of a fucking bus?”
Oh…okay, next problem, not technically a virgin. Now, I get to either tell my daddy that I’d slept with my ex a year ago after I told him I hadn’t or let him think that I’m such a classy bird that I got my cherry popped in a public place. Decisions, decisions…
“Um, Dad, that wasn’t my first time.”
Definitely better not to be the first-time bus whore.
I watch his face turn red. Maybe it is better to be the first-time bus whore.
He turns to Kitt. “How long has this been going on?” he growls.
Oh, shit, he thinks my first time was with Kitt.
Yeah, don’t you correct that.
It might as well have been. It’s the first time I needed it, the first orgasm thro
ugh sex, the first time it meant so much more than a physical act.
Kitt’s midnight-blue eyes briefly flick to me, and I silently beg him to go along with it. I know I’m not a slut. It’s not like I’ve had the whole fucking band or anything, but I don’t want my dad to look even more disappointed in me than he already does.
“A few weeks,” Kitt says.
Wow. Yeah, it’s not even been a month yet. How is that even possible?
“What exactly is going on?” Dad’s eyes are wide.
I’ve known him long enough to know it’s from fear as well as anger. In his head, he’s seeing me crying after a coke and whore addiction story has broken about Kitt.
I shake my head because I, too, am scared—only, not about Kitt.
I clear my throat. “Well, we…” Are in love and had wild sex against your band’s tour bus. “We just…”
“So, you have sex? So, you’re just sleeping together?” He stands up so quickly that I almost don’t see it. “My daughter is your fuck buddy?” he spits as he clenches his fists.
Okay, I made it worse.
He’s jumped to conclusions.
Because you took too long telling him everything Kitt is to you.
Kitt stands, holding his hands up in surrender. If this situation wasn’t majorly awkward and making me want to throw myself out of said bus anyway, my dad just uttered the phrase fuck buddy.
“No. It’s not like that,” Kitt replies, frowning. He looks genuinely disgusted that anyone would label us with that title.
“You’re not together, but you’re not fuck buddies,” Dad says.
I bite back a laugh, earning a glare from Kitt. “Dad, please.”
He turns to me. “This isn’t how I brought you up, Texas.”
“Am I supposed to die a virgin? Jesus, Dad, I’ve seen your band bring God knows how many women back to their rooms. I’ve even walked in on Will doing one of them in the dressing room! You really expect me to believe in no sex before marriage?”
He clenches his jaw when he knows I’m right. Dad might have done everything for me, raised me pretty much on his own, but I certainly haven’t had a normal upbringing. Not that I minded. I’ve loved our life, and I’m sure, after years of therapy, I’ll be able to forget Will and the redhead going at it on the counter.
He sighs and shakes his head. “I still wanted more for you, Texas. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. And you should have been married before. And thirty.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.” Apologies are better, surely.
He paces, clenching his fists over and over. “So am I, Texas. Shit, who was I kidding when I thought it would be a great idea to raise a child on the road?”
I don’t like where this is going. “There’s nothing wrong with how you’ve raised me. I’ve seen most of the world. How many people can say that?” And I’ve met Guns N’ Roses.
“And look where that’s led? You shouldn’t have been around this lifestyle,” he growls.
“Oh, please. Look at all those other celebrities’ kids. I think I’ve turned out pretty damn well, thank you.” At least our sex tape wasn’t released, and from the angle of the CCTV camera, you can’t even see what we were doing once he slammed me against the side of the bus. Our clothes didn’t come off until after that.
Winner right here.
“Look, we’re not explaining this properly, and people are jumping to the wrong conclusions,” Kitt says. He’s the voice of reason when Dad and I aren’t thinking about what’s spurting from our mouths.
Dad freezes. “Then, please explain, Kitt!”
I look up between them. This isn’t the calmish conversation it started as, and it’s certainly not going how I want it to go. “Can we all sit back down first?”
They both glance down at me, but after a heartbeat, they do sit.
Kitt takes a breath and places his hands back on the table. I want to put mine over the top and show solidarity. Maybe it will show Dad what I’m having a rubbish time explaining, that Kitt and I are not messing around and that we sure as hell aren’t casual.
“Paris is when I truly realised why certain things were bothering me—Texas looking at other men, for example. She started to get to me, piss me off, in ways she shouldn’t have been able to.”
I give him a look, but he’s focused on my dad. Charming.
“We argued, and to make it up to her, I took her to the Eiffel Tower at night. Ted was with us,” he adds before Dad can blow up on that one. “It’s where I understood why things had changed. I realised I like her way more than I ever intended to.”
Dad’s eyes cut to me, and I sit up straight. There is so much judgement in his gaze, and I can’t blame him for an ounce of it.
“You’ve been together since Paris?” he spits, his face turning red with rage.
I tap my knees under the table. “Yes. I’ve liked him for a lot longer than that, Dad, and I swear, this isn’t some casual thing. We haven’t jumped into this.”
“That’s not what it sounds like from Kitt’s perspective. He said himself that he started to feel differently in Paris, and that’s when you two started…this. That was…what? Nineteen days ago? Am I right, Kitt? Isn’t that when you started to feel differently about my child?”
Kitt grits his teeth when I’m referred to as a child, but he lets it go. “Partly. I’ve always been close to Tex, but I never realised what that meant until Paris. I understand how this looks, Mark, but I’m crazy about her. We’re together exclusively, and there’s not one woman on earth I would risk losing her over.”
Is it possible for your heart to explode? Like properly explode?
I almost have to fan myself. His words are too much. They make me ache in the best possible way. I can never get enough of hearing how much I mean to him, especially after wanting him for so long.
“I feel the same, Dad. We both appreciate that this will take some adjusting for you, and we owe you a huge apology for the way you found out. We probably need to have a few conversations about things we’ve discussed in the past, but I’m happy with Kitt, like lottery-win happy. So, please, can you try to be happy for us?”
Dad’s mouth straightens into a grim line that makes him look harsh. It’s not a great sign of things to come, but I’m not giving up on this. Whatever happens and whatever rubbish Kitt and I have to go through, it will work out because it has to. Dad will never be able to stay angry with me forever.
If he flies off the handle now, I know it’ll only be temporary. He doesn’t know me and Kitt together. All he knows is that I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to the people I truly care about, and Kitt has a terrible track record with women.
It’s easy to see why Dad’s not doing cartwheels over this.
He rubs eyes that match mine. “I think, for the remainder of the tour, you should go back to London and stay with your mum.”
My mouth drops in shock. What the hell? Did those words just leave his mouth?
Kitt leans forward. “Mark, can’t we talk this through a little more?”
Yes! I like his idea. I don’t want to stay with Jennifer, The Oven. I love it on tour, and I want to be where Kitt is. I have to be where he is.
“I don’t think talking is going to achieve anything, Kitt,” Dad spits through his teeth. He thumps his fists on the table.
Dad looks angry. His face is red, and his eyes are shooting daggers at the man I love.
Bloody perfect.
What did you expect? He saw you getting fucked against a bus!
“Dad, please,” I beg. My eyes fill with tears.
He’s never tried to send me to Jennifer before. Not once in my entire existence has he ever asked for help in raising me or dealing with a particular issue—even puberty. We kind of found our own way through it together, often having some very awkward conversations along with a tampon demonstration in a glass of water that I would love to erase from my memory. We’ve worked through every single issue without her, and now, when I�
�m nineteen, he wants Jennifer to take over for a while.
“Dad, I don’t need parenting anymore.”
His face hardens, and his jaw twitches. “You obviously need something, Texas, because the old you would never have lied to me or had sex in a public place!”
I turn my head, unable to stand the look of disappointment. “I’m sorry, okay? We didn’t want to lie, but we needed to figure out what this was, and there’s no way we could’ve done that if you knew. I’m not asking you to be okay with this right away, but can you look at this from our perspective?”
“No.”
Well, great.
“Mark, you are the one person Texas would do just about anything to avoid hurting. This hasn’t been easy for either of us, but she’s struggled with this more than I think she’s even told me.” He looks at me and smiles, giving me strength and trying to keep me calm when he can see I’m starting to freak out over being shipped back to England with my mother.
Keeping something so big from my dad has been tougher than I thought. At first, it was fun. I loved the secrecy, and honestly, I was over the moon to be with him, but the guilt came thick and fast.
“But we did it because we were serious about each other. We know we planned to tell you and everyone else when we got back to England before leaving for America. I’m so in love with her, Mark. I won’t ever hurt her. I’d die first.”
Heart goes boom.
This time, because he makes me feel so loved, I could choke, and I cover his hand with mine. Dad immediately hones in on it, and the vein on his forehead protrudes. I don’t care. This is unity. We are not asking for permission because we don’t need it.
Oh God, I think I’m going to pass out from the pressure. I’ve never stood up to Dad like this before. I’m sure the pride will come after the paralysing fear has gone.
Kitt’s thumb curls around my index finger.
God, I love him. “Please, Dad. I don’t want to go. We can’t leave things like this, and you know it. We’ve never even gone to sleep without sorting our issues out, so I really don’t see what going back to England will achieve.”
Every time I had a problem or Dad was stressing over the best thing for me, we’d talk it out because, together, we could get through anything. He was there every night I cried over my ex, and I was there when he struggled with a UK tour while I was taking my GCSE exams. Between rehearsals and appearances and performances, he was there with my textbooks, quizzing me and telling me I’d rock it.
With the Band (With the Band #1) Page 24