My Name Is River Blue

by Noah James Adams

  "Chill, RB. The dude blocked you from the car, illegally detained you, and insulted you. Just spitting in your face is assault. Then he hit you first even though it was just his fat finger. Who knows what he was going to do after he poked you? I feel sure I heard him say he was going to beat your ass, and I'm the only witness. I say you had to defend yourself because you thought your life was in danger. He's an adult and you're still a minor until December."

  "Yeah, I guess." Ant made it all sound better, but I knew that guys like us lost against men like Summers.

  "Besides, RB, we have four regular season games left plus the playoffs. We don't have a prayer of making it to state without you, so no one is going to do nothing to upset you or the team when we have a chance at a three-peat. No matter how rich he is, even Big Bill won't get support against you until football season is over."

  "I hope you're right. I just wish I hadn't lost my temper."

  "Well, the asshole asked for it, but you're right, you need to control your temper. We both do. We both have to let that kind of shit roll off our backs if we can. It doesn't do us any good to let some asshole get us in trouble when we have good futures ahead of us."

  "Bill Summers is right. People think I'm trash, and if I couldn't play football, they would say it to my face. Football is the only reason I got any votes for homecoming king, and that's one reason I wouldn't accept it. You know it must have almost killed Big Bill to give in to Carlee about dating me."

  That night in our room at Tolley House, I stayed awake and waited to hear the cops pounding on the front door downstairs until someone opened it. After I fell asleep, I dreamed of the scene. The blue uniforms flashed a warrant at my confused house parents, and charged upstairs into my room where they dragged me from bed and cuffed me. I saw them process me at the station before they tossed me into a cell, where I waited again for a liar with money to screw me over. I was exhausted when I woke up the next morning.

  I waited for days, cringing every time I heard a car in the Tolley House driveway. One day in biology class, I began sweating when Mr. Wilson's secretary called me to the principal's office, only to find out that Mr. Wilson wanted me to autograph a football for his nephew's birthday. When I returned to class, Max told me that I looked like I going to hurl when I left the classroom, and he didn't appear to be convinced when I told him that I was fine. I never told Max or anyone else that I hit his uncle after the homecoming game, and no one, including Max or Carlee, ever mentioned it to me.

  I was relieved that after a few weeks had gone by, I had heard nothing about my altercation with Big Bill. It baffled me that the man had apparently decided to tell no one and do nothing. Was he too embarrassed to say that he was begging a date for his daughter? Was he concerned that Carlee would be upset if others knew that he offered to pay me to date her? There was also the possibility that he would have been embarrassed for the whole town to know that a high school kid had put him on his ass. I gradually stopped worrying about Big Bill, but I couldn't shake my belief that he was the kind of man who would seek revenge when the time suited him.

  Eventually, Carlee approached me to apologize for her immature behavior. She said that she respected my wishes and wanted to salvage our friendship, which was our standing the night of the barn party. She promised that something like the homecoming mess would never happen again. My feelings for Carlee were confusing. When I look back to the time of the barn party, I think I loved Carlee, but I was convinced that we could never overcome our backgrounds and the differences that caused our arguments.

  I was not willing to accept Carlee's traits that angered me in order to keep the parts of her I loved. I knew that when I left for college in the fall, I would have enough pressure with college level courses and learning my new team's offense well enough to keep my scholarship. The last thing I needed was the stress of dealing with Carlee's spells of paranoia and jealousy, or those times when she morphed into her father's daughter. As pretty as Carlee was, she was not attractive when she turned into a rich, entitled girl, who showed how petty and spiteful she could be when she didn't have her way.

  ***

  At Papa's barn party, our dinner of barbeque meat, baked beans, cole slaw, and French fries was so good that Ant and I ate two plates full, as did most of our teammates. Ant was passionate about the barbeque meat and the sauce, which was a Long's family recipe that Papa's relatives had passed down for generations.

  The cheerleaders watched with envy and wished that they could have larger portions of food without risking the addition of an unwanted pound. Ant teased Tina and Carlee, offering them bites of his food and telling them that they would only have to run two miles in the morning to keep their trim figures. I knew from experience that Ant would be belching the sauce all night, which would not smell nearly as good in our room as it did in the barn.

  Other people passed by our table and spoke to us, but Carlee and I still had time for conversation with each other. She was pleasant with everyone. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed talking with her when she didn't react jealously to other girls who spoke to me. She displayed only the good Carlee, and I couldn't help feeling suspicious.

  The second barn, where we had the party, only had a half-bathroom. There had always been an understanding when the players and cheerleaders gathered there, that the girls used the bathroom, and the boys used the compost pile behind the barn. The only other option for the boys was to take a long walk to the first barn, which had two full bathrooms. After dinner, Ant and I walked outside into the cold night air, which made us shiver on our way to drain the sweet tea we had with our meal.

  The area behind the barn was well lighted and it was easy to see that some of our teammates had formed a circle around the compost, their hot streams causing steam to rise in the cold air. I was about to burst when two of the guys shifted over just enough so that Ant and I could squeeze in between them. The combination of cold air and a full bladder made me rush to unzip before I wet myself.

  Ant quietly mentioned the change in Carlee.

  "RB, you want to distract her while I check her bag for a gun?" He sounded as if he were joking, but I thought that he might genuinely be concerned about her strange behavior that would be normal for most people.

  "Maybe she really changed."

  Ant grinned at me and suggested another possibility. "Maybe Daddy sent her here packing with a plan. Maybe he was just waiting for the season to end. Now that your senior season is over, people wouldn't be nearly as upset if he offed you. Payback for that punch you threw. I doubt a man like him forgets things like that."

  I agreed with part of what Ant said. "I was half expecting Big Bill to pay a few rednecks to beat my ass. If he did plan something, I know that Carlee wouldn't be part of it. With all her annoying faults, she's still a good person."

  Ant and I finished at the compost pile and made room for more of our teammates, who were desperate to take our spots. Ant joked that he was too numb to tell if he put his equipment away, and I had to tease him.

  "Ant, don't worry unless people point and laugh."

  "Ain't nobody gonna laugh, RB, but they might be screamin' in terror over the enormity of the deformity."

  No one could make me laugh as hard as Ant could, and I was still laughing with tears running from my eyes when we returned to our table in the barn. Carlee and Tina wanted to know what was so funny, and after Ant told them, they were sorry that they asked.

  Tina and Ant decided to take a walk. Some cheerleaders took Carlee off to discuss their schedules for after Christmas at about the same time Gary yelled and motioned me towards a group of my senior teammates.

  The guys called me over to discuss our college futures. Some of us had given verbal commitments, but none of us had formally signed to play ball at any school. We all planned to sign our letters on national signing day, which was more than a month away. There were seven of us with offers to play college ball, and four of us had offers from major universities. Papa planned to have a s
igning ceremony for all of the seniors at Long's Fitness Center in Harper Springs, and he would make sure that the media had the details. The major sports television network had informed Papa that they would have live coverage of my announcement.

  I knew which school's offer that I wanted to accept, but I told my teammates again that Ant and I had not decided where we would play college ball. We were determined to play on the same team again, and the only demand we had was to room together. Ant was leaving the final choice of schools to me, and I intended to tell him that night that I had decided.

  Max Summers was one of the seniors discussing college prospects, and I was curious when he tugged on my shirtsleeve and motioned with his head for us to step away from the group. We found a quiet corner to talk, and I realized that Max had been unusually quiet all night, and his face wore a serious expression that was odd for him.

  "Something wrong, Max?"

  "Oh, no. I didn't want the other guys to hear cause I'm a little embarrassed," said Max, as he shifted his eyes around to see if anyone came close enough to hear.

  "About what?"

  "Well, going to college. I got the same schools talking to me as you and Ant do, but it freaks me out when I think of going alone. You two are my best friends, and I want to go where you guys go. My old man is putting pressure on me to decide, and you know he wants me to go to SC, so if you guys are going to SC, that would make things easier for me at home. I could get him off my back now instead of waiting another month until signing day. I swear you can trust me not to tell."

  Max looked desperate. I knew his father was an ass, and I saw his point. "Ant is leaving it up to me, and I didn't want to tell the other guys until I spoke to him tonight. I'm going to tell him that I want to accept SC, so I guess that's it, but you can't tell anyone. It could ruin the announcement coverage at Papa's fitness center."

  "Are you sure it's SC?" Max confused me because he didn't look excited.

  "Yeah, I'm sure."

  "Thanks, River. You have my word that it will stay with me. I can tell my father where I'm going without mentioning you or Ant, and I'll make my commitment the same day as you guys."

  "Max, are you okay?"

  "Oh yeah, dude. I'm great. It's just a sobering moment, you know. It's like we both just made one of the most important decisions of our lives."

  I was not used to seeing Max so serious, but he was right. We were making important decisions that would be life changing. "It's great that you're going to stick with us, Max."

  "It's awesome. The three of us are going to have a blast. Well, I'm going to say goodnight." Max looked at his wristwatch. "Julie has relatives visiting and couldn't come, but I'm going to leave a little early and spend some time with her before I have to head home. Have fun, dude."

  "Yeah, you too, Max."

  We clasped our right hands and gave our one-arm hug. When my head was close to Max's, I could tell that he wore makeup near his eye, and I felt bad for him that he had to cover up another bruise. In the locker room, when anyone would mention his bruises, he always said they were from practice, even when they were strange bruises in odd places for a player wearing pads. Still, he could have been telling the truth, and everyone let it slide.

  Max often spent weekends with Ant and me, and it was common for us to camp out at Deer Lake where we would swim when the weather was warm enough. It wasn't like the locker room after football practice or games where I would see my teammates with bruises and think nothing of it. During the offseason, Max would still show bruises at the lake, and it was obvious to Ant and me that Max's father abused him. The one time I begged him to let me tell someone who could help him, he reacted badly and told me that if I said anything, that our friendship was over.

  After Max left for his girlfriend's house, I rejoined the group of seniors, but Papa interrupted and herded me off to the barn office for a private chat, something we had done many times in the years since I first met him.

  I was a little sad when I thought about leaving for college and how little I would see Papa. I felt guilty as if I were deserting him after all he had done for me. He was my boss, my mentor, my teacher, and my friend, and no real father could have done any more for me than Papa did. I owed him a debt I could never repay.

  In the barn office, we sat facing each other. Papa grinned widely. After all the attention people had given me during my high school days, I was still a quiet guy and perfectly comfortable to sit silently while I listened to friends ramble. Papa knew that I might wait a long time without speaking unless he took the initiative, and as usual, he did.

  "All the games, championships, dinners, and awards. Now the barn party. It's all over for this team," said Papa. "This is the last time you guys will all be together for a team event. It makes me sad that this same exact mix of talent will never play another game together. Of all our past teams, I'm proudest of this one, and I will never see another one that can compare."

  "Thanks, Papa," I said. "Without you and the boosters, we never would have achieved so much. I know for sure that I wouldn't have."

  "River, has it all sunk into you? What you've accomplished? You led the team to three state titles in a row. You hold every important record for a quarterback in state high school history. You're Mr. Football. All the recruiting experts have named you the best high school football player in the nation. The whole nation, River! Every college football fan in the country is waiting to hear your decision on which university will be lucky enough to sign you. I was looking at you earlier tonight and wondered if you really understand how your life is about to change. You're going to be a national household name long before you finish college."

  "I don't know what to say."

  Papa must have seen that my mind was drifting because his voice grew louder.

  "River, all during high school, you haven't been just a great football player, but an honest, hard-working young man with exemplary character. You give other kids hope, and I could not be any prouder if you were my son."

  At times, I felt that I was living someone else's life. A life too good for me. If I were too cocky and then failed, I would provide plenty of ammunition for people to taunt me and call me what I really was. I knew that there was a day coming, if my celebrity status grew enough, that the media would not be satisfied to report only my football exploits, as they did through my high school years. They would treat me as an adult and dig up juicy dirt, as they did any famous person. I thought that if I did my best to act humble, I might be less of a target.

  "River?"

  "Sorry, Papa. Thank you. It means a lot to me that you feel that way."

  "I understand. Everything is coming at you fast, and you have decisions to make."

  "Yes, sir."

  "River, I want to ask a favor. Well, I guess a couple of favors."

  "Yes, sir. Whatever you want."

  "Well, first, I hope this doesn't sound bad to you. I debated asking you to do this, but I decided to see if you would be okay with it. Since your signing will be on TV, how would you feel about giving Long's Fitness Center a little plug? I need to advertise the change to my program for kids whose families can't afford our fees. Instead of just giving a reduced rate, I want to put out the message that any kids from disadvantaged families can join both our afterschool and athletic programs free of charge just as foster kids can. I want parents and their kids to know that there is an alternative to running the streets."

  "Sure, Papa." I wondered why Papa was hesitant to ask the favor after all he had done for me.

  "I was worried how you would take it because it's your day, and your time in the spotlight, but I think we can reach a lot people and help a lot of kids that way."

  "Papa, you have let me use your equipment for free since I was thirteen years old. You had your trainers work with me at no charge to make me a better athlete. You did the same for Ant and others, so Long's Fitness is partially responsible for the schools offering us scholarships. You know I'm terrible at speeches, so word
something for me that will say thanks for the support of Long's Fitness Center, and then I can tell about your kids program. I can even wear the nice shirt you gave me that has Long's Fitness on the front."

  "Thank you, River." Papa chuckled. "That was a lot of words for you."

  "I have my moments." I blushed and laughed with him.

  Papa hesitated before saying something that he had mentioned numerous times over the past years. "River, I'm going to take another shot at a suggestion for you before signing day."

  I shook my head. I knew what Papa was going to say. "No sir, I won't cut my hair except for a little trimming." My black hair hung almost low enough to touch my shoulders, and I liked it that way. It was always clean and brushed, and most girls liked it a lot. However, there were some people, including Coach Haney, who despised seeing my hair hanging out the back of my helmet.

  "Okay, but don't be surprised if your college coach has a rule on hair as part of the dress code."

  "I already know the ones who do, and I marked them off the list."

  "Okay, River. Let's drop the hair suggestion. While you're in a giving mood, I got one more favor to ask, but it's not really for me. It's for Tyler Thomas."

  "I don't think I know him."

  "You probably don't," said Papa Ray. "He plays junior high football. His parents are deceased, and he lives alone with his grandfather, who has been a good friend and a mentor to me since I was a boy. The man is in poor health right now, and I try to help him and Tyler when they need me. I see football potential in the kid, and I wondered if you would be willing to spend some time with him this coming summer before you have to leave for college. I think he could be a good high school player for us."

  "I don't know, Papa." I had a goal of earning all the money I could before college. Before I left in the fall, I wanted all the work I could get at Long's Fitness and at the farm. "I was hoping to work every hour I could get from you this summer."

  Papa considered my concern. "And you will, but what if I paid you your hourly rate for the hours you spent with Tyler?"