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Teach Me New Tricks

Page 13

by Parker, Ali


  I was being ridiculous. I knew that. The rational part of my mind knew it was the guilt freaking me out, but the irrational part of my mind was very strong. I took my coffee and headed out of the lounge without speaking to anyone. I kept telling myself the class was over in a week. I could make it another six or seven days.

  He’d get his credits and we would never see each other again. If I was lucky, he would decide school wasn’t for him and my dirty little secret would never see the light of day. It was a lot of ifs, but it was all I had to ease my fears.

  I got to class and was relieved to see he wasn’t there. I didn’t want to be alone with him. I sat down, opening my briefcase and pulling out the stack of graded tests. Christopher’s was near the top. I had been very surprised to see he got every answer right. Not just right, he wrote explanations to support each answer.

  The guy knew his stuff. He would have made an excellent mythology major. I would have enjoyed teaching him and maybe even learning from him. One of the facts he had mentioned to support an answer had been new to me and I had to look it up to verify it was correct. He’d gone above and beyond.

  I had almost been hoping he didn’t do well on the test. I didn’t want him to think I gave him an A because of what had happened between us, but he’d done well and I couldn’t fail him just to prove I wasn’t biased.

  I sensed him the moment he came in, but I didn’t look at him. I pretended to be focused on the papers on my desk. I waited until everyone had arrived before I finally raised my head. When I did, my eyes immediately went to the seat I knew he would be sitting in. He was staring back at me.

  I felt a jolt in my stomach, heat flooding my body. I looked away, getting to my feet and collecting the tests to return to the takers. I put his on the desk. “Good job,” I said before moving down the row.

  “Thanks,” I heard him mumble behind me.

  After handing out all the tests and listening to the groans from those who’d done terribly, I made my way back to the front. I had to give my lecture. I always gave a lecture after the first test.

  “As some of you have noticed, you’re not doing so well. This was the first test. We have the final exam next week. This was your halfway marker. I suggest you all do a little more studying. I know this class is short and sweet, but the credits are all the same. I would hate for you to have wasted your winter break sitting in a class that you’re not going to get the credits for.”

  “Will the final cover the same information?” someone asked.

  I smirked. “We’re not done yet. We still have a few more days to cover more information. You have to read the material I give you. I know it can be done. We did have one A on the test. A hundred percent in fact. That tells me you have the information. You just need to use it.”

  I didn’t say who had gotten the perfect score. I didn’t want to call any attention to Christopher. The others would immediately assume there was some kind of favoritism and all my fears would come true. I knew some of the kids sitting in that classroom were devious. They would do whatever they could to get ahead. Some of them were taking the class as a last-ditch effort to graduate in the spring because they had screwed off during their college career. They would fight tooth and nail to keep up with the rest of their class.

  I dove right into the lecture scheduled for the day. With the short class time, I had to pack as much as I could into every single class. I couldn’t afford to waste time. The sooner the class was over, the sooner I could get away from his piercing gaze.

  I didn’t know if he meant to do it, but he had a way of unnerving me. His blue-eyed stare was intense. I did my best to avoid looking at him, but I couldn’t help myself. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

  Once class was over, I sat down, relieved to have another one over. “Can we talk?” I heard him say in a low voice.

  I looked up at him, then at the mostly empty class. “Not now.”

  “I just wanted to say I was sorry if I did something that offended you.”

  “Please, it’s fine,” I said, really not wanting to get into the sordid matter right then and there.

  “I’m sorry. I assure you I will not do anything like that again.”

  “It isn’t a good time,” I hissed, staring at him and driving home my point.

  He nodded. “Got it. See you later.”

  I winced. His cold shoulder was deserved, but I hated it. I hated that I had to push him far, far away. It was about the last thing I wanted to do, but it was necessary.

  With all the students gone, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was tempted to go to the café in the hopes I could accidentally run into Christopher grabbing some lunch. I wanted to talk to him and explain my behavior.

  I couldn’t. I had to stick with my plan to keep things strictly professional between us. No lunches. No funny stories. No sexy smiles and definitely none of those heated looks that always seemed to pass between us.

  Hands off the goods.

  “Knock, knock,” Dean Johnson’s voice cut through the room.

  A cold knot of dread filled my stomach. I turned to look at the doorway, hoping like hell it was in my head and he wasn’t really standing there. “Dean Johnson,” I said, my voice higher than usual. “What brings you by?”

  Guilt pounded in my brain. I looked down at my chest, making sure there wasn’t a giant scarlet letter A there. I told myself he couldn’t know. There was no way he could know. Unless—

  Oh god. What if Christopher had tried to tell me he spoke with the dean? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

  I watched, frozen to my seat as the dean walked into the classroom, his hands in his pockets as he looked around the room. “I thought I would check in and see how things are going. You are one of the few professors that is still on campus. I feel like it is my duty to make sure all is well.”

  I nodded, gulping down the lump of nerves in my throat. “Good. Great. All is well.”

  He looked at me, cocking his head to the side. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, just, uh, tired. I was up late grading papers.”

  He grinned. “I like that kind of dedication.”

  “Thank you. How is everything else?”

  He nodded. “Good.”

  “Did you talk with the rest of the faculty?” I asked.

  “I’ve spoken to all that are still in town. There were quite a few that had left for the break. I’ll catch up to them when they get back.”

  “I see,” I said, waiting for him to tell me he knew all about my tryst in the library.

  “How is the class going?” he asked casually.

  “Good. Short and easy.”

  He chuckled. “If only all our semesters could last three weeks.”

  “It would be hard to get any real teaching done if that was the case.”

  “I suppose that’s true.”

  There was an awkward silence. At least, I felt it was awkward. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered by it. “Do you have plans for the holidays?” I asked, desperate to fill the void.

  He smiled. “Yes, we’re going to be heading to Florida for the week to visit my wife’s family.”

  “Oh, that sounds warm and tropical.”

  “I’ll be enjoying a lot of margaritas,” he said with a laugh.

  “I hope you have a good time,” I said really wanting to end the conversation before I spilled my guts.

  “What about you? Will you be staying in town?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  I hated to talk about my personal life. I hated the looks of pity when people found out I was all alone in the world. I was always invited to dinners and parties because people hated the idea of leaving me out. I didn’t mind. I didn’t need their pity. I had been alone all my life. One just kind of learned to accept things. You couldn’t miss what you never had.

  Thankfully, he didn’t press the issue. “You enjoy your holiday if I don’t see you before I leave,” he said.

  “You too. Don’t get too much sun.”
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  He smiled and waved goodbye as he walked out the door. My shoulders slumped forward as I breathed a sigh of relief. That had been close. I hated the empty campus. Dean Johnson usually never paid me much attention, but with everyone else gone, I was front and center. I much preferred to blend into the background. I didn’t like all the attention.

  I scooped up what was on my desk, shoved it in my briefcase, and retreated to my office, hoping he wouldn’t come looking for me again. I needed a minute to think. I was being paranoid. I knew it, but it seemed odd that I would get two visits from the dean in a week.

  Maybe he did know and was giving me the chance to tell him. I should have gone with my initial decision and confessed my sins. I could have asked for leniency. I was only making things worse by not telling him.

  “Dammit Kami,” I hissed, slamming my office door.

  I shouldn’t have listened to her stupid advice. I was going to be waiting for the other shoe to drop until it did. It was stressing me out and making me want to climb the walls. I hated feeling that way. I wasn’t used to being the bad girl and having secrets.

  I knew now more than ever I had to keep a safe distance from Christopher. I could not get anywhere near him. It was too dangerous. If I was to be fired from my teaching position for fraternizing with a student, I would never get work as a professor again. At least not at a university. I’d be at some tiny little community college where they didn’t care about one little misstep because they were desperate for teachers.

  I groaned. If I couldn’t get a job in the college world, I would be forced to teach high school. I would rather work fast food than teach high school. I had hated school when I had been in it. I didn’t want to go back.

  All for one moment of pleasure. I couldn’t believe I had risked everything for a quick romp in the library. I didn’t do stupid things. I wasn’t reckless. It had been totally out of character, and I was going to regret it for a very long time.

  Chapter 21

  Christopher

  I got to class early, but instead of hoping to catch a few minutes with Leila, I wanted to talk with Alan. It was the last day of the class and I wanted to make sure I kept in touch with him. He was the only friend I had made in Texas thus far. Leila had made it very clear she didn’t want to talk with me outside the classroom. Hell, she didn’t want to talk to me in the classroom, for that matter.

  Class had been tense. At least it had been tense for me. She’d been very cool, ignoring me as best she could. I had stopped asking questions about the material and opted to do my own research. I hated that one blip in time had created a huge divide between us.

  I liked her. Not just because of the attraction I felt towards her, but I liked her in general. I had enjoyed talking with her and getting to know her better. Now, I hoped I never had to see her again and be reminded of the momentary lapse in judgment.

  I paused in the hallway, almost afraid to see her sitting at her desk. It took a great deal of effort to ignore someone. I didn’t particularly enjoy the feeling. I poked my head around the door and was relieved to see she wasn’t at her desk, but Alan was in his usual spot.

  “Hey there!” he greeted.

  “You look excited,” I commented taking my seat.

  He grinned. “What’s not to be excited about? It’s our last day.”

  I laughed. “We’ve only been in class three weeks.”

  “I think it’s the idea that it’s the last day. It reminds me of those last days of school before summer break when I was a kid. When all I had to think about was how often I was going to swim and dreaming about how pretty the girls were going to look in their bathing suits.”

  “Those were definitely the good days,” I replied.

  “If only we knew just how short those days would be. I guess that hindsight thing is very real. It’s too bad we don’t realize we’re living in the good days until they are nothing but distant memories.”

  I smiled. “I think that’s what makes them special. You can be more carefree when you’re not worried about making good memories. I look back on some of the vacations we took and while they were enjoyable, they aren’t the memories that make me feel nostalgic.”

  He nodded. “I know what you mean. It’s the little things. The routines we develop. The things we do every day that seem to be so mundane but those are the moments we treasure most. Those routines were what we could count on.”

  I looked away, staring at a wall and thinking of my old routine. I’d get up, have breakfast with Carlie most days, talk about our plans for the day and then go to work. Sometimes I’d get home long after dinner. She and I would sit on the couch, sipping wine and once again talking about our days. It was so simple and so uneventful, but those were some of the things I missed the most.

  “Are you ready for this test?” I asked him, steering the conversation back to something a little less sad.

  He shrugged. “Ready as I’ll ever be. I’m sure you’re ready. You seem to be picking this stuff up pretty well. You thinking about picking it up as your major?”

  I grinned. “I do like the stuff but no, I don’t think I could do four years of it. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve learned, and I might continue to dabble in the study of Greek mythology, but I’ll leave it at that.”

  “Understandable.”

  “What about you? Are you ready to make a go of another degree after your trial run here?”

  He rubbed his chin. “I haven’t quite decided. I’m going to think about it over the next week and figure it out then. You?”

  “Same boat. I’m going to take some time and try to get Olin’s opinion on the matter. I don’t want to do anything that might take away time from him. I don’t need another degree. I don’t need a job. I can be there for him as much or as little as he needs.”

  “Are you all packed and ready to go?” he asked, referring to my plans to return to Minnesota.

  “I am. Olin is excited to see his friends. I don’t know if I’m as excited as he is, but I am hoping it will be good for him. I don’t want him to think he can never go back. I was just hoping to have a little more time away before we returned.”

  He shrugged. “Sometimes you have to go with the flow. Olin is still talking to you?”

  I smiled. “He is. I don’t think we will be staying up all night and having any real conversations, but he isn’t totally shutting me out. Things are getting better. It’s a very slow process, but I think we are finally making some headway.”

  “I’m happy for you. Like I told you before, it took years before my older kids and I really had a good relationship. You keep putting in the time and effort, and it will get better.”

  “Thank you for your very good advice,” I told him. “It helped, and you have given me hope.”

  “How long do you think you’ll be in Minnesota?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure. Maybe a few days. I don’t want to stay too long. I don’t want Olin thinking we’re moving back. I know in my heart that living in Texas is the right thing for both of us. It’s why I didn’t want to visit so soon. I want him to think of Texas as home.”

  “He will. Does he play sports?”

  I grimaced. “He used to. He’s an excellent basketball player and he usually does baseball, but I’m not sure he will this year.”

  “It’s all about finding something to tie him to this place.”

  I nodded in agreement. “I know. If I can’t get him to play baseball, I might try to get him involved with fishing or something outside of school. I have to get him involved in something. Right now, he spends his days in his room with the door closed. I don’t want him shutting down.”

  “It’s a tough road, but you seem to have a good handle on things. Olin is a lucky kid to have you looking out for him.”

  I scoffed. “I don’t know if he feels the same way.”

  Our conversation came to a halt when Leila walked into the classroom. I hadn’t said much to her beyond the casual good morning and have a good
day as I left the class. She had been right to shut me down. I didn’t need the distraction.

  Things were definitely icy between us, but I suspected that was for the better. If she had been nice or smiled at me, I would get my hopes up that there was a chance we could see each other outside the classroom. I didn’t want there to be any chance at all. If there was a sliver of hope I could be with her again, I wouldn’t be able to put it out of my mind.

  “All right, everyone,” Leila started in a loud, clear voice. “This is it. This is what you’ve been working towards for the past three weeks. I hope you’ve all learned a little something about Greek mythology and you’ve been able to enrich your mind. Once you’re finished with the test, turn it in to me and you are free to go. I will have the grades posted to the online portal by next Tuesday. I know you’ll all be on pins and needles waiting to see your scores.”

  I chuckled along with the other students. It was hard to take a three-week class seriously, especially when it focused on sex, betrayal, and scheming between mythical beings. As far-fetched as the subject matter was, the grade was very real. I took anything I did seriously, and I intended on finishing strong.

  She walked by, placing the test face down on my desk without saying a word. I didn’t look at her. I knew she wouldn’t be looking at me. She’d done a very good job pretending I wasn’t in the room. I wasn’t a complete dumbass. I had gotten the hint on day one.

  When she said the word, I flipped the test, scanned the questions and smiled. It was in the bag. I wasn’t the least bit concerned I was going to do poorly. I knew the material. Hell, it wasn’t like I had much else to do but study and research. I had bought a ton of books from Amazon and spent my evenings sipping wine and reading about the naughty misadventures of the gods that captivated Leila’s attention.

  I took my time, carefully reading each question and providing what I hoped were thoughtful answers. Once I was confident it was a perfect score, I collected my things and made my way to her desk. I placed it on the desk, waiting for her to look up at me.

  She didn’t.

 

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