Silent Dances

by A. C. Crispin

  of blue sky, as though she we re the Wakinyan, the mystic thunderbird,

  gliding the thermals an d looking past her own outst re tched wing . Part of last night ' s eagle dream coming back , she realized . Tesa ' s fingers tingled with the memo ry of a feathered cloth and a silken skin.

  All Tesa could think to ask Rob was, " Are the Grus deaf?" Jib looked

  dumbfounded and sta rt ed to sign something, but she gave him a look

  that stopped him.

  Rob laughed, shaking his head . " No, they ' re hearing. I'd li ke to tell you more , but... your pa re nts are on hold. I'm sor ry eve ry thing's happening so fast , Tesa . That wom an in the holo is Meg T re tiak.

  She's coming to StarBridge. She may ask you to go to T ri nity with her , but that ' s not definite."

  "I'd be a good tran slator for the Grus , Dr. Rob , I would! Meg could teach me the l an guage on the way." She ' d signed too fast , an d Rob looked confused. Jib translated quickly.

  "First," Rob signed , " you've got to decide whether or not you w an t that surge ry. You just c an' t toss the chance to hear over your

  shoulder , I won ' t let you . Besides , we don't need a translator at Trinity, we need an interrelator."

  At StarBri dge , students we re exposed to studies that would p re pa re them to be tr an slators , telepaths, or interrelators. Tr an slators worked for the CLS as interpreters . While telepathy had to be born into their

  ability , their schooling would eventually p re pa re them for the search for intelligent life. When interrelators graduated , they we re re ady to live on an alien world as diplomatic liaisons or even ambassadors.

  Before she could manage to ask about the skin ( What did it have to do

  with the Terr an s on T ri nity? What impact would it have on the First Contact? ), Rob re moved the c as se tt e.

  Tri ni ty disappea re d as though it had been enc as ed in a bubble that popped . With growing d re ad , she watched Rob patch in the call fr om her pa re nts . Why did they have to call now? she wondere d . She didn '

  t know enough about T ri ni ty- yet-and

  16

  she no longer felt she knew enough about herself to talk to them.

  Rob signed to Jib, " Let's give Tesa some p ri vacy."

  The young Indian woman stare d after her f ri ends as though they we re

  abandoning her. Jib looked back at her , but Rob closed the door

  behind them. Tesa took a deep breath. What was wrong with her

  anyway ? These were her parents-they loved her. She hadn' t seen them in a whole year and hologram calls we re only tantalizing cheats. You

  could see, but not hug.

  Shutt ing her eyes, she touched her eagle feathers , feeling a shock of

  static elect ri city . The image from her d re am came back unbidden .

  The edge of a bronze wingtip , a background of blue sky. Only now

  beneath her flew a Grus , neck extended, black - tipped white wings st re tched for gliding , stick-thin legs trailing behind . With a splash of blood across its back.

  Jerking her eyes open, Tesa blinked the image away . Tapping the

  controls , she repressed her conflicting emotions as the "Call Holding "

  caption dissolved to be replaced by the coalescing image of her

  parents.

  17

  CHAPTER 2

  The Dream

  Tesa's parents stood eerily in the hologram field, like spirits beckoning her.

  Her mother, AnadaAki Lewis, of Chippewa-Blackfoot an cestry, was tall and

  trim in her company's uniform, with dark, short-cropped hair and bright brown

  eyes. Her name meant "Pretty Woman," and she was.

  Tesa's father, Dan Bigbee, had to stand behind Ana to fit the hologram's

  parameters. He was a Lakota Sioux tradition alist , and his braids swept past

  his shoulders. Like Tesa, he was a dancer and kept his hair long for summer

  powwows on Earth. His eyes were jet-black beneath heavy brows and he

  was taller than Ana by a head. He had given his strong face to his daughter.

  Ana reached out a hand as her daughter extended hers, but their fingers met

  only empty air where warm flesh should've been.

  "Your image is so real," Ana signed in Plains Indian Sign Language. It had been Tesa's first language.

  Tesa smiled. "Mom, Dad, how are you?"

  "We're fine!" her father signed. "We miss you. Our work

  18

  has gone ve ry well-this station's almost finished." Tesa nodded ,

  hesitant to add much to the conversation. "We'll get good bonuses ,

  too," AnadaAki added. "And

  we'll be coming home soon ... to be with you."

  " That is , if you 're coming home ," D an amended h as tily. Tesa ' s jaw clenched . It w as on their faces, that exp re ssion she hadn ' t seen since childhood . The exp re ssion they'd wo rn eve ry time they ' d checked out any specialist they ' d thought might be able to "do

  something for Tesa."

  "It's been a week of good news," her mother signed. "Your brother

  Nato h as been accepted to Da rt mouth . And Sissy's been approached by StarB ri dge."

  That was a happy surpri se. SikskiAki wrote diligently, w an ting to know

  eve ry detail about StarB ri dge and the aliens her older sister encounte re d.

  "She'll begin attending the Eart h - based satellite school in six months .

  She's ve ry excited ." AnadaAki hesitated for a moment. "And then the re' s this new surge ry that c an help you." Her mother w as trembling slightly . " You'll finally be able to hear ! It's so wonderful , Tesa..."

  D an squeezed Ana's shoulders , halting her . " You've said almost nothing ," he signed. "How do you feel , Tesa?"

  "Well," his daughter be g an tentatively , " I haven't had much time to get used to the idea ..." Her mother' s face lit up . " I know it ' s not e as y facing a big ch an ge , honey , but we'll be with you . Then you can go back to speech therapy and improve your voice."

  Tesa had always be en self-conscious about her voice . Aliens

  expected you to mangle their l an guages , but Terrans were less

  forgiving. She'd gotten tired of people ' s reaction to her speech, so

  Tesa rarely spoke aloud.

  "Just think, baby," Dan signed, "by this summer, you'll be able to hear the drums, instead of just feeling the be at." When Tesa danced, the

  drummers intensified their rhythms so she could feel the vibrations that

  helped her keep time, while she watched the synchronized pounding .

  The drumming represented the hea rt beat of the pl an et, and feeling it made Tesa a part of the drum, made her one with Mother Earth. She didn't

  think that hearing it would improve that for her.

  "Honey," Ana signed , " I'm afraid we've done all the talking ... and you don't look very excited."

  19

  "It's just ... well, there's more going on than just this surgery, Mom. Didn't they tell you?"

  Her parents both nodded. "Dr. Gable said you have a chance to work on a

  new project," her father signed, "but he didn't give us any details."

  "This project could be critical to Earth-it could mean Earth receiving full

  credit for a First Contact! That's im--"

  "Couldn't you do that after the surgery?" her mother interrupted.

  Tesa paused, trying to find the right thing to say. Her eyes settled on a mini -

  holo hovering over Dr. Rob's desk. In it, a smiling Mahree Burroughs and

  her eleven-year-old daughter, Claire-Dr. Rob's own little girl-perpetually rode

  an antique carnival ride. It had been Mahree's book, First Contacts, that had

  convinced Tesa to leave Earth, to go to StarBridge, to follow the harder path.

  Fifteen years ago, Mahree and Dr. Rob had followed their own hard path,

 
; when they abandoned the

  Desiree and, with their Simiu friend, Dhurrrkk', headed for Shassiszss.

  Tesa lowered her head to escape the distraction of the holo, and as she did

  her eagle feathers brushed her face. Tell them how you truly feel, she

  ordered herself.

  But, despite her resolve, when she met their eyes, she signed, Ì'm not sure this surgery is right for me."

  "Sure," AnadaAki agreed, "it must seem scary..

  Tesa forced her gaze to remain steady. "It's not that, Mom. I just don't know if I want to be ... hearing."

  Her mother swallowed, and Dan seemed to grow taller. Ana s igned , "Don't

  you want to hear my voice?"

  With a smile, Tesa answered, "Don't you think I have?" She remembered

  herself as a child in Pretty Woman's lap, her mother's strong arms around

  her, a tune humming through her body. The clarity of the hologram showed

  AnadaAki's eyes slowly fil lling with tears, shattering Tesa's resolve.

  "Mom, don 't cry. I haven't made any decisions." Maybe I'm being selfish, she thought. She really hadn 't examined the issue; she 'd just responded

  emotionally. Don't I owe them that mu ch? "I need to find out more-about the surgery, and the rest," she signed. "And I needed to know how you felt.

  "Have you told the grandparents?"

  20

  Ana brushed away tears an d t ri ed to smile . " My mother told me not to cry in front of you."

  "Grandfather Bigbee said ," D an signed , " listen to your heart before making a decision that could pull you f ro m your path."

  "That sounds like him," Tesa signed . The old man was fond of saying he looked at things the "Indi an way" when what he me an t w as the harder way. He said it was because he'd been a heyoka - a contrary- when he w as young . He'd go tt en the name Laughing Bear in those days . Tesa had trouble visualizing him as a sacred clown . They' d always scared

  her as a child.

  Her mother looked rueful. " The grandpa re nts also said they love you

  just the way you are. I don't know why I didn ' t think of that until now.

  We do, too , Tesa."

  "And I couldn' t love you an y more th an I do ri ght now."

  " Dr. Gable wa rn ed us you might not be re ady to make a decision ," her father signed . " Find out mo re about that p ro ject and about the surge ry. We'll wait."

  You've been waiting nineteen years now, Tesa thought sadly.

  The smell of fragrant smoke and the hot breath of the rocks surrounded

  Tesa like holy garments , even though she w as outside the sweat

  lodge , not in it. She fli tt ed over its roof, wonde ri ng who w as inside bu rn ing sweet grass . She danced on the air like a gnat , but not a gnat - a li tt le flying thing with shiny wings.

  Caught in a waft of escaping steam, she d ri fted higher, until the tiny

  lodge seemed only a hump of autumn - hued grass against rust - colo

  re d g ro und . The sky w as a mo re vivid blue th an she ' d ever seen , even over the endless plains of home.

  Suddenly the air was re nt with jagged st re aks of white-hot lightning . It w as the Wakinyan, throwing their power around. The ter ri fied gnat couldn't see the Thunder Beings , but then, no one ever saw the fierce

  gi an ts clearly , even in d re ams.

  The Wakinyan opened their mouths an d thunder ro lled out, but of

  course , Tesa couldn ' t hear it. This an gered the spi ri ts, an d lightning zigzagged f ro m their huge red orbs, arcing through the sky to strike the ground near the sweat lodge.

  "She'll hear this!" boomed the great re d thunderbird. His taunts we re not words, but feelings directed to her.

  "And this," cri ed the blue, his beak opening wide enough to swallow the

  World . The yellow spi ri t did likewise.

  21

  The little gnat was tossed about, ter ri fied , but she still could not hear the thunder.

  "Enough!" bellowed the largest Wakiny an, a g re at black being cove re d in mist an d clouds . A d ri fting column of sweet grass smoke wafting up fr om the lodge enveloped the black thunderbird , ming li ng with the clouds that made his body. "In the loudest sound , she hears silence .

  When she should speak, she says nothing . What a backward - forward

  way to be!"

  Those words struck more terror into the gnat than the lightning had. She

  froze in horror, just as the black Wakiny an opened his great red eye an

  d th re w his biggest bolt.

  The searing hotness hurled her down, blasting a hole th ro ugh the lodge '

  s or an ge and re d roof . The vision - seeker looked up an d took the gnat into herself , an d was filled with the gnat's fear . Lifting a dipper of water to throw on the hot rocks, the occup an t peered into the cool

  liquid. The face she saw was not her own , but the face of a laughing

  bear.

  The Wakinyans flew above the lodge, their wings blocking the sun , so

  that its light fl as hed on an d off in her face.

  Light an d dark. Light an d dark.

  Tesa burrowed under her old star quilt to escape the light that was fl as hing light an d dark , hot an d cold. She awoke with a jerk , si tt ing bolt up ri ght , then looked around, not knowing where she was. Her bedside

  lamp flashed on, an d off.

  The dream fragmented an d she scrambled after its memo ry , but

  nothing w as left except a nameless d re ad , the warmth of the old quilt , an d the flashing bedside lamp. Just a bad dream ended by the door

  signal , Tesa chided herself , climbing out of bed.

  It was Jib, an d with him came the t an talizing smell of coffee. "Hur ry an d get decent , Tesa. Dr. Rob ' s coming by."

  " Talk to the se rv o about b re akf as t ," she signed one-h an ded. "I'll be out in five. Does the place look like hell?"

  "Mere ly heck . He gave me a ten - minute wa rn ing."

  Now I' ll find out about Trini ty , Tesa thought with a stirri ng of excitement . Jib had told her l as t night that he'd pumped Rob for

  details , but the psychologist had been closemouthed. Tesa had been

  tempted to call him herself, but she ' d been exhausted after the

  conversation with her parents , following yesterday's confusing events,

  an d she'd fallen asleep.

  She stumbled to the shower, passing her wall holo, currently

  22

  showing the Black Hills . There was a lone eagle gliding through the

  scene . The holos had m an y random variations , but for some re ason , this image made her shudder . " Mirror ," she signed. Oh, that's worse, she decided.

  "Good morning," Tesa signed to Rob. Clean hair gave her a different

  outlook-refreshed, cheerful. "Where's Jib?"

  "I tossed him out," the psychologist told her . He sat on the neutral-colored sofa in Jib and Tesa's shared living room. On a table sat a pile of

  doughnuts an d a pot of steaming coffee. "We've got lots to discuss .

  Come, pl an t yourself."

  She did, then helped herself to a plain old-f as hioned. " So, how ' d your pa re nts take it ?" Rob asked kindly. Tesa stared at him , confused.

  "When you told them you didn't wan t your hearing fixed?"

  "Well ..." she hesitated , " I said ... I hadn ' t decided."

  Rob w as surp ri sed . " But you we re so su re when I left you!" Ex as perated , she scowled . " I thought you wanted me to re consider ! I thought you w an ted me to have it done."

  He looked an noyed in tu rn. " Only if the surgery is what you re ally w an t . What did your parents say to ch an ge your mind?"

  "Nothing ... I just said I'd think about it," she signed. "Tesa, I didn ' t call them to complicate things, but because

  I knew you' d have to talk to them about it." Rob r an a h an d through his dark , curly hair dis tr actedly.
<
br />   "When I told you about that new surgery," he signed, "I expected you to jump at the ch an ce . However, when you didn't, it set something else in motion. Now you tell me you' re not su re. .

  " I c an 't make an y decision without mo re facts ," she signed. He nodded, took a casse tt e from his pocket , an d plugged it into the holovid . "Sorry this had an error on it yesterday," Rob signed . The living -

  room scene-seven sac re d Mao ri canoes c re sting the waves-

  dissolved, re-forming as T ri nity. "I had it patched . I'm su re you recognized the Grus , even without narrative . These shots were taken

  by the colonizing company's scientists . They' d been making obse rv

  ations for months when one of the biologists , Scott Hedford, was

  approached by the Grus." Rob fast - forwarded the footage . " He re 's that scene."

  A sophisticated hologramic blind blended invisibly into the re eds as an avi

  an walked up to it an d patiently waited. After a moment, the occupant of

  the blind tu rn ed it off. It

  23

  disappeared , an d the hum an an d Grus stood a few feet apart, face-to-face.

  The ruddy- skinned , s an dy-haired m an with a moustache watched as the improbably tall Grus held out a folded cloth. Tesa inst an tly liked

  Scott for his open delight in receiving a gift that would ch an ge his life

  forever.

  "Scott w as a good re searcher ," Rob signed. "He believed that the Grus we re t ru ly intelligent . His partner , Meg T re tiak, ag re ed . Voder tr an slations backed them up. However , this decision did not please their

  employers , Jamestown Founders." I bet , thought Tesa.

  It had only been fifteen years since the Desiree had met the Simiu, the

  powerful , four-legged baboonlike aliens , the first extraterrestrials the hum an s had found . That First Contact had nearly ended disast ro usly when a young Simiu , Kh re kk', had violated the complicated Simiu

  honor code by committing suicide , shaming himself an d his family .

  But then , hum an s had also shamed themselves by using weapons-

  the Simiu's most se ri ous taboo . As the conflict escalated , Mah re e Burroughs, Rob Gable , an d their Simiu f ri end , Dhurrrkk', stole away to plead for help fr om the Cooperative League of Systems-a union of

  the Known Worlds.

  The CLS interv ened an d the situation almost ended perfectly. Because of the travelers' accidental discovery of the telepathic Averni an s, the Terrans an d the Simiu we re each granted half membership in the CLS .