Angel Series Books #1-2.5

by Tracy Lorraine

  “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I know it’s fucked up, I do. But I grew up not being loved and cared for by the two people who are meant to do it unconditionally, so I found a way to be cared for, if even for a little while. It made me feel useful to somebody, not just a burden. It made me feel needed.” At some point during my rant I started sobbing and was lifted on to Ryan’s lap. I am now crying into his chest while he rubs my back.

  “Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted you to have a reality check. Fuck, please don’t cry. I’m sorry,” he whispers in my ear.

  My tears eventually dry up and I lift my head off Ryan’s chest. Looking up into his blue eyes, all I see is compassion. There is no pity at all, which makes my heart a little happier. All of a sudden he speaks, making me jump because I’m totally lost in his eyes.

  “I only know the basics about your parents from Hannah. You’ve never spoken to me about them. I don’t want you to now, but promise me one day you will. I really want to understand that part of your life and how it made you…you. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, I mean it in a really good way. You are a wonderful person, Molly. You are kind, caring, intelligent, funny and you are my best friend. I never want to say anything to hurt you, and if I do, like I just did, then it’s only because I want the best for you.”

  I throw my arms around his shoulders and hug him tight. This was why I came here tonight – for my best friend, who will tell me exactly what I need to hear and exactly what I don’t want to hear, to pull me out of the rut I have found myself in. I nod my head in agreement and whisper “thank you” into his ear.

  Ryan

  “I hate to break the moment but I really have to wee.” I say into Molly’s hair. She’s been sat in my arms for a few minutes pulling herself back together. I feel her shake her head against my neck and it makes me laugh. I stand up with her in my arms and place her back on the sofa before heading out of the room.

  When I come back down, I find her pulling her clothes out of the washing machine. “You washed my black jeans with my white top and underwear; how is it possible you have been living on your own and doing your own washing for years, yet still do that?” She has a dead serious look on her face making me laugh.

  “Shit, sorry. I was more concerned with what I was meant to do with your bra than I was about separating the colours. It’s like an alien creature to me – is it meant to have its own cycle, extra special treatment or something?” I comment, trying to sound as serious as she had.

  It’s her turn to start laughing and she actually starts laughing so hard she has to hold on to the worktop for support.

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  I just shrug my shoulders, grab another beer and the second bottle of wine as Molly has already drained the first one and head back in to the living room, saying over my shoulder, “it’s a drier as well but I’ll let you handle that.”

  “Thank you, it’s probably safer, I need something to wear tomorrow, I’d prefer if it didn’t fit a doll,” she says with a smirk.

  “Can I borrow your iPad please, Ry?” she asks as she heads back in the room.

  “Yeah of course.” I pass it over to where she has sat on the floor at the coffee table, sipping her wine.

  “Cheers, I want to start looking for a place to live. I don’t want to cramp your style. You’ve only just moved in, you don’t need me in the way.”

  The thought of her moving somewhere new on her own doesn’t sit well with me. I know she hates being on her own and would rather live with someone, which is how she ended up living with dickhead Max after all. I make a snap decision, but I know it’s the right one.

  “Molly.”

  “Yeah,” she says without looking up from the screen.

  “Molly,” I try again to make her look up at me. It works this time and her eyes eventually meet mine.

  “Move in here, with me. You can have the room and bathroom downstairs. That way you would have your own space and you won’t keep me awake at night snoring from two floors away.” I think the shocked look on her face tells me she really wasn’t expecting that.

  “Um…”

  I sit and watch her think about what I have said. The house is so quiet I can almost hear the cogs turning in her brain as she contemplates what to say next and whether to take me up on my offer. I eventually get bored of waiting and continue to try to convince her.

  “This house is too big for me on my own really anyway. It’s so quiet here. The rent will be cheaper than a place of your own and I’ll let you decorate your room however you want.” God, I hope she won’t take me up on that and paint it Barbie pink or anything crazy. She is still silent. “Molly, tell me what you are thinking.”

  All of a sudden, she is off the floor and practically running for the stairs.

  “Shit!” I get up and run after her. “Molly, come back, you can’t leave the house wearing that. Molly!” I shout as I chase her down the stairs.

  When I reach the bottom, I realise she has no intention of leaving. She is actually stood amongst all the boxes and crap in the downstairs room that I have just offered her. She looks back at me with tears in her eyes. Great, I’ve made her cry again. She’ll never want to see me again let alone move in.

  “Are you sure, Ryan? This was going to be your gym. I don’t want to take that away from you. You bought this house for peace and quiet. It won’t be so peaceful with me around, and definitely not quiet. Do you really mean it?”

  “Molly, we were just talking upstairs about you doing things to make others happy. I want you to forget about my feelings for a minute because if I wasn’t sure then I wouldn’t have asked. I have two more spare rooms upstairs that could be my gym. What do you want? What is going to make you happy, Molly Carter?”

  I watch her closely as she studies her hands and nails, trying to work out what she wants. She opens her mouth to speak and when it comes out it’s so quiet I almost miss it, “I want this.”

  “I’m sorry, Molly, you’ll have to speak up. What did you say?”

  This time she looks up, the tears are still in her eyes but I can tell her decision has been made. “I want this, I want to move in.” And with that she launches herself at me from across the room with such force I have to take a step back to stop us toppling over when I catch her.

  “Thank you so much, Ry. You have no idea how happy this makes me. I’ll be the best housemate ever, I promise. This is it, a new start for me from this day forward. I’m going to do things for me, because I want to, not because anyone else wants or expects me to.”

  “That is exactly what I want to hear. You need to start living for you.”

  We make our way back upstairs, and I start thinking of all the things we need to do to get us both properly moved in. “When do you want to get your stuff from the flat?” I want to get it done as soon as possible so she can put Max behind her.

  “Well, he is going out for his mate’s birthday tomorrow night. Usually they all go out early evening to get started then go all night, so I could go then.”

  “Excuse me, what do you mean ‘I’? I am not letting you go and do that alone. Firstly. you’ll have to do loads of trips in that roller skate of a car you have and secondly, just no, I am coming with you.”

  “Ryan, you don’t have to do that, you have already done more than I could ask of you.”

  “Okay, how about, ‘shut up; this isn’t up for discussion’. What time is he going out, and what time should we head over?”

  “You know you’re a stubborn arse, right?” I just shrug my shoulders at her in response. “If we go over for seven he should be well gone by then and that will give us plenty of time to make sure I have everything. Oh, and don’t take the piss out of my car, she’s awesome. I moved into that flat in her so I am capable of moving out in her. I don’t actually have a lot of stuff.”

  “You’re calling me stubborn? Brilliant!” I comment laughing before resuming my seat on the sofa with a ne
w beer.

  Molly comes and sits next to me, pulls the blanket over our legs and settles into the cushions with her wine. “How is it you have unpacked hardly anything yet but you have a blanket over the back of your sofa? That’s sort of a strange thing to unpack first, don’t you think?”

  Usually I would agree with her. It was unusual, but it was the first thing Hannah and I bought together after I moved into the flat. We had many amazing nights together sat under this thing and it might make me sound like a pussy but I wanted it here with me in my new house.

  “Oh shit, I can tell by that look on your face why it is here. It’s Hannah’s, isn’t it?”

  “Yes it is. But tonight, we are not talking about all that. We are being happy and celebrating you moving in. There is plenty of time for the other stuff later.”

  “That sounds like a plan, Mr Evans. Chuck the remote over, we need music if we are celebrating.”

  With that, the sounds of old school hip-hop and R&B fill the room and I groan.

  “What?” Molly asks, with an innocent look on her face.

  “Nothing, I had just forgotten about your love of this music. Maybe I should have considered that before asking you to move in.”

  “Oh shut up, you love it really. Oh, I love this song.”

  After making that announcement, Molly is up dancing around the room with the last of her wine. She’s swaying about, showing just how pissed she is but still managing to keep to the beat. In this moment, she looks happy and carefree like all twenty four year olds should. I want her to be like this more. As one song drifts into another, I notice the beat of the songs get more and more sexy, as do Molly’s dance moves. She’s stood there grinding her hips round and round. I just can’t help but notice how fucking sexy she is. It has been a long time since I have seen any action and although my brain knows nothing will ever happen between Molly and me, apparently my dick didn’t get the message. Thank God for the blanket she pulled over us earlier.

  “Come on, Ry, dance with me,” she slurs and she gives me her come hither look. Fuck, don’t do that.

  “No, you’re okay, I’m fine here watching.” She has no idea how torturous this is for me.

  As the next song comes on she starts waving her hands above her head, making my t-shirt she’s wearing rise, revealing the bottom of her red lacy knickers that are cut high across her arse – her nice tight, perky arse. Shit, shit, shit, look away now, I say to myself as I try to pull myself together before I’m so hard it’s obvious.

  After another couple of songs with me looking in any direction other than Molly, she really starts to stumble around to the point where I think she’s going to be on that pretty little arse soon.

  “Molly, I think it is time you came and sat down before you fall down.”

  “Oooohhhh cooome on…dooon’t be a spoil spoort,” she slurs as she trips over the coffee table and ends up lying face down on the sofa. I can’t help but laugh at her ungraceful landing.

  All of a sudden, she flips herself over with a pout, telling me not to laugh at her and how it’s not funny. I have to totally disagree with her on this one, and I’m very grateful that her little flying lesson has made me forget about my earlier little, or not so little, problem.

  Molly starts mumbling about how she can’t remember when she last had so much fun, got drunk and danced the night away. I wasn’t going to ruin it by telling her she was only dancing for about thirty minutes because I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen her smile like she is now.

  Eventually, she stops chatting crap and her breathing evens out. I look at the clock and realise it’s nearly four am; no wonder she’s asleep. I quietly tidy up our mess into the kitchen, come back, scoop her up in my arms and carry her up to my bedroom. Currently, this is the only bed in the house, so until we go shopping she’ll be here with me as I am not letting her have a bad night’s sleep on the sofa – not that she would probably notice in her state. I get her in bed and pull the covers over her before stripping down to my boxers and sliding in next to her. I have a super king size bed so it will be easy to sleep together and not even realise there is someone else here. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m out like a light.

  Chapter Three

  Molly

  I wake up with a start, trying to work out where the hell I am. It takes a couple of seconds for the fog to lift before I realise I’m in Ryan’s bed. “Shit,” I mumble as my hands dive under the covers to see what I’m wearing, if anything. I’m relieved to find I’m still in his t-shirt and still have underwear on. I know I shouldn’t be concerned – this is Ryan I’m talking about – but unfortunately, I’ve been in this situation before after getting drunk, and at least if I know what dressed state I’m in, it gives me a clue as to what happened or what didn’t happen. The last thing I remember from last night was dancing around the living room and wondering why Ryan had such a weird look on his face.

  I bolt upright in bed when he appears at the door, smiling and saying ‘good morning’ way too loudly. It’s then I realise quite how rough I feel, and slowly lie back down to try to ease the ache in my head.

  “Oh dear, you feeling that good?”

  My answer is to just glare at him, like I’m trying to tell him it’s his fault I’m in this state.

  “Here, I’ve brought you water and painkillers. When I had to put two bottles of wine in the recycling, I thought you might need them.”

  “Thank you,” I say in a really croaky voice that makes me laugh to myself. “Why am I in your bed? I was going to sleep on the sofa. I don’t want you sleeping on the sofa in your own house.”

  “You slept in my bed because after you passed out on the sofa I went to bed, but before I could fall asleep you came in here begging me for sex,” he says very seriously, so I don’t doubt him.

  “Oh God,” I say shaking my head, “you’re totally joking, right? I never did that.” I feel my face get redder and redder and I start to pull up the covers to hide under.

  “You’ll be pleased to know I turned you down. It was tough when you started begging, but I stayed strong.”

  With that, I totally disappear under the covers, hiding my embarrassment from him. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I was really drunk; can you leave the room so I can just sneak out your house? Then you never have to see me again,” I say from my hiding place.

  “Molly, don’t say that.”

  “Oh, that’s fine for you to say, you’re not the one mortified by your drunken actions.”

  “Molly, look at me.” He tries to pull the covers from me but I’m clinging on to them for dear life. I hear him move to the bottom of the bed and peel them back over my head. I immediately cover my face with my hands to hide how embarrassed I am, but I keep my fingers apart enough so I can see him.

  After a few seconds of looking at me, he apparently can’t contain himself any longer and bursts into laughter. Not just any laughter: the kind that has him doubling over in pain. I can see tears filling his eyes he’s laughing so hard, and I make sure to have an expression on my face which shows him how unimpressed I am by his joke.

  I make a grab for a pillow and launch it at his head, causing him to fall nose-first on to the floor, making his eyes water even more. I decide that one hit is not enough for what he just did to me so I launch a full-on attack.

  Eventually, my sense of humour starts to take over, and I’m laughing along with him and at him, seeing as he is now curled up on the carpet, rolling around and holding his nose.

  When my side starts hurting, I give up and sit on the end of the bed. He pulls himself up and sits on the floor in front of me.

  “I’m sorry, it was just too good an opportunity to miss,” he says to me, still smirking.

  “How long have you been planning that?” I ask him seriously.

  “Oh, since I got up about two hours ago.”

  “You’re a dick, you know that, right?”

  “I’m sorry.” He puts his hands up in surrender. “Now go get
your arse in that bathroom and get ready. We’ve got a lot to do today. I’ve already put your dry clothes in there so you can get dressed. Then meet me in the kitchen – I’ll have breakfast ready. Go.”

  Ryan leaves the room and I make my way into his en suite after taking the tablets he left for me. It takes me a few minutes to realise what he has done, but when I do I completely forget about his ‘joke’ this morning. Not only are my dry clothes in a neat pile on the unit, but also there is a new toothbrush and a can of women’s deodorant next to them. When I look in the shower, I see new bottles of shampoo and conditioner, nice girly pink ones. There is also a new shower gel, pink shower puff and even a pink razor. My eyes start to fill with tears as I take in everything he has done for me. He may have been up for a couple of hours planning how to most embarrass me on our first day as housemates, but he has also done this. It might sound silly because it’s nothing really, but I don’t think anyone has ever done anything so sweet for me before.

  Whilst I am in the shower, I realise what I need to do. Ryan was telling me last night that I have got to do things for me, and this is the first day of that. First, I need to ring my friend Shane and call in the favour he owes me.

  I look at the time on my phone and realise that it is already nearly midday on his busiest day of his week, so I don’t expect him to answer, but as I put my phone to my ear, I’m surprised he answers on the first ring.

  “Hey, how’s our number one groomsmaid?” Shane asks, making me smile. I first met Chris, Shane’s now fiancé, at university. He was studying the same graphic design course that Hannah and I were. We all hit it off straight away and he soon became our gay best friend. Then, not long after, he met Shane and fell crazy in love and well, as they say, the rest is history. They are getting married in a few months. Shane is an amazing hairdresser; he is well sought after in Oxford and is always fully booked well in advance, so I’m hoping today is my lucky day.