“Wow, Molly. Those dance classes are doing wonders for your curves.” I have to say something. She looks too hot not to.
I hear Jax laugh, then cough to try and hide it. I don’t think anything of it because my sister is probably doing something inappropriate behind my back. I run my eyes up and down Molly’s body again. I can feel my temperature rising and my heartbeat picking up.
“Ryan,” she warns in a low voice. “Don’t.”
I can’t help feeling totally disappointed, like I did when I woke up.
“So,” she announces loudly to everyone. “We are all going out tonight. I’ve text Megan and James, Shane and Chris, and they are all up for it. Oh, and Adam of course.”
Oh, fucking brilliant. I get to meet Adam and potentially watch Molly be all over him.
“I’m not sure I’m up for it, what with school starting next week and all,” I try to sound convincing.
“Shut up, old man,” Abbi says from behind me. “You are coming; no excuses,” I turn around and see Abbi’s puppy dog eyes looking back at me.
“Yes, come on Grandad, it’s the last chance you’ll get for a while,” Molly joins in.
I look back at her to see a similar look on her face that I’ve just seen on Abbi’s. They both know I can’t say no to them.
So just over ten hours later, I find myself in a bar in the city being introduced to Adam.
“It’s so good to finally meet you. Molly’s always talking about you,” he says to me as we shake hands. I instantly don’t like him. He could be the nicest guy in the world but he has what I want, so there is no way I will ever like him.
“Really? Well, I haven’t heard much about you.”
I know I shouldn’t have said it, but I couldn’t help myself. Luckily, Megan and James join us and distract Adam.
“Ryan, you need to be nice. I know he has what you think belongs to you, but if you are anything but nice to him, Molly will never forgive you,” Abbi whispers in my ear, and of course she’s right. Smartarse!
After a good number of drinks, we head down the street to a nightclub. We all go straight on to the dance floor and I instantly feel completely left out as I watch the couples pair off. I swallow my pride and start to walk towards the bar to drown my sorrows, but a hand on my arm stops me. I turn to look at who it is, and see a tall, slender blonde smiling back at me. She was just the type I used to go for before I fell hard for Molly.
She leans in towards me so I can hear her. “You look lonely. Dance with me?” she asks.
I quickly glance to where my friends are dancing and see Molly’s eyes on me over Adam’s shoulder. She quickly diverts them when she sees me looking back. I can’t help but think that her watching me dance with another woman might make her realise that it should be her.
“Sure,” I say to the blonde. “Come on.” I pull her so her back is facing Molly, so I can keep an eye on her while we dance.
The dancing starts off innocent enough, but soon she starts grinding against me suggestively. Every few minutes I look up, and sure enough, every time I see Molly looking more and more pissed off. I’m glad she is feeling the same about me dancing with this woman as I feel about her dancing with Adam.
Chapter Seventeen
Molly
I’ve been watching some blonde bimbo grind herself against Ryan’s body for the last four songs, and I hate it. She has her hands all over him and all I can think about is how he would feel, how soft his skin is, how hard his muscles are.
Completely lost in my imagination, I feel myself start dancing with Adam how I would like to dance with Ryan. I shut my eyes and let my body take over. I move so that his leg is between mine and I grind against him to the beat of the music. I run my hands over his body, ignoring the little voice in my mind that says his body isn’t muscular enough. When he speaks into my ear, I can’t help but think his voice isn’t deep enough. But the images in my head are turning me on so much that I drown out those thoughts.
I tilt my head up and capture Adam’s lips with my own. His hands slide down to my arse and he pulls me tight against his very obvious erection. I feel his tongue tease the seam of my lips until I open up for him. As soon as I do, his tongue invades my mouth and tangles with mine. That little voice starts again, telling me how he doesn’t taste right, how he doesn’t set my whole body on fire with his kiss. But again, I try to push those thoughts away and continue.
Adam’s chest is rising and falling at such a rate that he has to pull away from my lips so he can catch his breath. He trails kisses across my jaw and down my neck, so I chance a look in Ryan’s direction. What I see almost has me pushing Adam off me. He is stood completely still, while the blonde continues to rub herself against him. He’s staring at me with an empty look in his eyes. He looks completely heartbroken, and I just caused that look. I don’t know what to do.
I watch as realisation hits him as to where he is and what he should be doing. He looks me right in the eyes before grabbing the blonde behind her head, and crashing her lips to his. She instantly closes her eyes and lets him in. Ryan, on the other hand, still has his eyes locked on me as he practically fucks her mouth. I feel like someone has just kicked me in the stomach, knocking all the wind out of me.
Adam places a kiss on my lips and continues towards my ear. “Take me to your place.” I say in his ear.
“Are you sure?” he asks with his eyebrows drawn together.
“Yes.”
I grab his hand and begin to pull him from the dance floor, but not before looking back at Ryan to see that he’s still watching me with the blonde’s lips attached to his neck. I smirk at him as we move, and see his eyebrows rise and his head shake from side to side slightly, like he can’t believe what I’m doing.
Adam quickly finds us a taxi and we are soon heading to his flat.
As soon as we are through the front door, he is on me. He carefully guides us into his living room, and in seconds I feel the sofa hit the backs of my knees. He gently lies me down and kneels between my legs, so he can continue kissing me. I feel his hand run from my ankle up to my waist, then it slip under my top and come to a stop when he’s cupping my breast. He lies down harder on top of me and grinds his hard dick against my sex.
He trails his lips across my cheek and down my neck. “You’re so sexy, Molly,” he breathes out as he runs his tongue around the edge if my ear. “I can’t wait to feel your skin against mine.”
Shit, that voice isn’t the voice it should be. I run my hands up his back and feel a slender body, not a ripped, muscular one. Fuck, what am I doing?
“Adam, I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
I watch as he pulls his head back from my neck, removes his hand from my breast and places it on my cheek.
“It’s okay. We don’t have to do more than you’re happy with. I just thought you were turned on and wanted this.”
“I thought I did, but I’m not ready.” I close my eyes so he can’t see the tears in them. How can he be so nice when the reason I’m stopping isn’t because I’m not ready, it’s because I don’t want it to be him on top of me? He’s just all wrong.
“Come on, let’s go to bed.” My eyes fly open in shock. “To sleep, Molly. I meant what I said. I really like you. I’m more than happy to take this slow.” He stands up and pulls me with him.
I slip my jeans off while Adam is in the bathroom, and slide into his bed. When he comes back in, he’s wearing his boxers and a t-shirt, which I’m relieved about. I roll over so I’m facing the edge of the bed when he climbs in. I can feel him peering down at me, but I keep my eyes shut and stay still.
“Molly?” he whispers.
“Mmm?”
“Can I hold you?” he asks nervously.
“Mmm.” It wasn’t until my head hit the pillow that I realised just how exhausted I was. I hear Adam release a breath as he slides his front to my back and gently wraps his arm around my waist.
“Goodnight, Molly,” he says next to my ear, then places a
kiss to my head.
I drift off to sleep, thinking that the last time I was cuddling in bed it was with Ryan. I can’t help the disappointment wash over me that the body up against mine isn’t his.
“Morning, sleepyhead,” Adam says as I appear in his living room, probably looking as bad as I feel.
I just grunt in response.
“Oh, that good!” he says with a laugh. “Do you want tea or coffee?
“Tea, please,” I manage to get out.
“Okay, sit down. I’ll be right back with it.”
I sit down on the sofa and put my head back on the cushion. I think I must have had more to drink last night than I realised. I think back over the night’s events and instantly feel awful for how I treated Ryan. I know how he is feeling about me. I should have been more sympathetic with my actions with Adam. He was giving as good as he got though, with that blonde. I wonder if he took her home. The thought makes me want to empty my stomach right here. This is crazy - what are we doing to each other? I wish I could be brave enough to just take the jump with him.
I spend the rest of the morning with Adam and once I’m feeling like I could make the journey without being ill, I ask him to drive me home. When we pull up outside my house, I lean over and give Adam a quick kiss.
“Thank you. I’ll speak to you soon.”
“No problem. Enjoy the rest of your weekend,” he says, before I get out and walk over to the front door to let myself in.
I notice that neither Abbi’s nor Jax’s cars are parked at the house, and I wonder if they are out together.
I let myself in and stand and listen to see if I can hear any voices, but it’s silent. I go into my room to dump my bag and take my shoes off before I head upstairs to make myself another cup of tea to have with the bath I have running.
Walking into the living area, the first thing I see is glass smashed all over the kitchen, along with what could be a couple of mugs or a plate; I can’t tell with the mess. I scan my eyes over the rest of the room and see Ryan laid out on the sofa. I’m presuming he’s asleep, but I can see worry lines on his face and he looks to be tense. I step a little closer to him and see that there is dried blood on his fists. They are swelling and bruising nicely. Shit, did he get in a fight last night?
I walk over to the kitchen, trying not to stand on any of the shards while grabbing the dustpan and brush to start cleaning it up. I just bend down to start when I hear shuffling behind me.
“Leave it,” Ryan says in a harsh voice.
I turn to look at him and the expression on his face is the same one from the club last night when I was kissing Adam. His eyes look completely empty. His eyebrows are drawn together with a deep frown line between them, and his lips are turned down in what I can only describe as disgust. He hasn’t moved, though. He is still on the sofa. Once I’ve had enough time to study him, he turns back away from me to stare ahead.
“I want a cup of tea, and I’m not standing on all of this to get it.” I turn back around to start cleaning it up.
“And you always get what you want,” he says patronisingly behind me.
I’m gobsmacked. I can’t find any words to answer that remark, so I choose to ignore it. He is obviously pissed off.
“What happened here?”
“You ha-”
Just as he starts to spit his answer back at me, the blonde from last night appears in the doorway. She’s in the same clothes but obviously fresh from the shower. I just stare at her with wide eyes. Holy fuck, he did bring her back. I feel a lump rise up my throat and tears sting my eyes. I turn around and continue cleaning the mess up so neither of them can see how upset I am.
“You all set, Holly?” I hear Ryan say as he gets up and walks over to her.
“Yes, thank you for letting me have a shower. How are you feeling?”
I feel my back tingle like they are looking at me after that comment, but I’m too scared to turn around to find out.
“Like shit, but you really helped. Thank you.”
“My pleasure. You have my number; if you need anything, please call,” she says, making me want to be sick again. “Right, my taxi is outside.”
“Seriously, thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without you,” he says quieter, but I still catch it. What the fuck is he talking about?
After a few more moments I hear her walking down the stairs, and Ryan flops back on the sofa.
I finish cleaning up and put the kettle on when I can safely reach it.
“So you were going to tell me what happened. Go on,” I prompt.
“It was an accident,” he says, shrugging.
“An accident,” I repeat. “Multiple smashed glasses and mugs was an accident?”
“Yes. I was drunk.”
“Not drunk enough to not spend the night with Holly though, evidently.” I can’t help the acidic tone that enters my voice saying her name.
“Evidently,” he repeats back to me sarcastically before turning away and putting the telly on.
“Okaaay. Do you want coffee?”
“No,” he answers abruptly, so I make my tea and get the hell out of there.
I place my mug on the side of my now full bath, strip down, and slide my body in.
I stay in the bath until it is too cold to sit in any longer, just trying to process my thoughts. Ryan brought the blonde home and clearly slept with her. The thought makes me feel sick to my stomach, but wasn’t that what I suggested to him a couple of weeks ago. I said something like I was going out with Adam, and I suggest he finds someone too. Except I never really meant it. I didn’t want it to happen. I was - still am - too scared to admit my feelings for Ryan. What if I’m now too late, and this Holly is it for him. What if he falls in love with her? I feel tears begin to slide down my cheeks. I’ve done this to myself; it’s all my own fault.
Ryan
I can’t believe I just watched Molly pull him out of the club. She promised me she was going to change, that she was going to wait to make sure the guy was worthy of her. But there she goes - after what? A handful of dates? - going home with him. I feel sick just thinking about it. What if he treats her like the others did? I can feel my anger rising just thinking about the other dickheads.
The woman who is rubbing herself up against me whispers in my ear, “so, trying to make her jealous didn’t work then?”
Wait, what? I look down to the blonde, totally confused. Did she actually just say that, or is it the alcohol talking? “What?”
“I said, trying to make her jealous didn’t work, then? Well, that was what you were trying to do, right?” She looks at me, totally seriously.
“Uh, I guess, yeah. But why would you...?”
“I came with my friends, like you. But also like you, they are all paired up. I wanted someone to dance with that wouldn’t lead them to wanting in my knickers, so when I saw you pining over her I thought dancing with you would get me what I wanted: a dance with a hot guy. And I might actually help you out in the long run. I’m sorry I didn’t.” I just stare back at her in disbelief.
“I can’t believe you would do that. You don’t even know me.”
“I’m a good judge of character, and it’s telling me you’re a good one. I just saw an opportunity to help, so…”
Wow. “Do you want a drink, um…?”
“Holly,” she adds. “Yes, that would be good.”
“I’m Ryan. Come on.” I place my hand in the small of her back and guide her to a quiet section of the bar. Once we have drinks, Holly points over to a booth in a corner.
“So, I…uh…sorry, you’ve just taken me totally by surprise,” I say to Holly. “Why did you do that?”
“Like I said, I wanted to dance with someone who wouldn’t want anything from me. I saw you looking at that girl with such love but heartache in your eyes. I knew you’d be a safe choice.”
“But you let me kiss you?” I’m still completely baffled by her.
“Yeah, it meant nothing though. It wa
s just a kiss. Was her face as good as I pictured when you kissed me?”
“Uh, yeah actually, it was pretty good, apart from it made her whisper in her bloke’s ear and then drag him out of the club. Didn’t quite have the desired effect.” I put my elbows on the table and put my head in my hands.
Holly continues to probe me about Molly, and I end up telling this relative stranger everything. She has some great advice but tells me more than once that Molly will cave to her feelings eventually, just like everyone else has said. She tries to convince me that although she obviously just went home with Adam, it doesn’t mean anything will happen. I can’t knock her positive thinking but she doesn’t know Molly like I do.
I end up getting so drunk I can barely walk, so Holly has to escort me home after telling her mates where she is going.
There is a small part of me that is hopeful I will find Molly asleep in her bed when I get home, so as soon as I stumble into the hallway, I go straight for her room and fling the door open. But nothing - her bed wasn’t being slept in. Holly comes up behind me, grabs my hand and starts pulling me out of the room and up the stairs. She pushes me down on the sofa, then goes about making us both coffees.
By the early hours of the morning, Holly knows everything there is to know about Molly and me. She is so easy to talk to; it all just comes tumbling out.
I’ve also had a small insight in to her as well. She recently got screwed over by her boyfriend and is not looking for a replacement anytime soon, hence the dance with an unavailable guy.
Talking about Molly and Adam gets me so worked up that I end up pacing the living room trying to get images of them together out of my head, but every time I close my eyes, all I can see is her grinding against him and kissing him.
“Argh,” I growl, before planting my fist into the wall of the living room, then the other one for good measure. The pain takes away my thoughts of them for all of five seconds. I walk over to the kitchen and sweep the glasses and mugs off the draining board, and watch them crash to the floor, breaking into shards, just like my heart.
Angel Series Books #1-2.5 Page 21