“I fucking love her; why can’t she see that? Why?” I cry.
Holly comes up to me and wraps her arms around in comfort. I can’t help crying on her shoulder. It just hurts too much.
Once I’ve pulled myself together, I show Holly up to my bedroom as the guest rooms still don’t have beds in, and tell her to get comfortable. I go back downstairs to sleep on the sofa. I strip down to my boxers and pull the blanket over me. The blanket that Hannah and I bought. That little reminder of her does nothing for my fragile state.
I must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing I know I’m looking up to see Molly’s arse as she is bent over, about to sweep up the mess in the kitchen.
“Leave it,” I growl at her, a little harsher than I intended.
She turns to look at me and it feels like a knife is pushed right though my heart at how beautiful she looks. Yes, she looks like she had a late night. I try my very best not to think about what that entailed, but she still looks like the most gorgeous girl in the world. Fuck, I am so screwed.
She questions me about the mess, but I’m not quick enough to think up a decent lie and I can hardly tell her I was so angry with my thoughts of her and Adam together I had to break things. I was desperately trying to come up with an excuse when I hear Holly coming down the stairs. As she enters the room, I watch Molly’s face drop. Good, at least she is a little affected by the thought of me having Holly here all night.
I thank Holly for last night and see her off. I really don’t know what I would have done last night if it weren’t for her. I was a total mess, and drunk to boot.
I try to convince Molly that the smashed glasses and mugs was a drunken accident, but I can see in her eyes she doesn’t believe me. Apparently, she believes I couldn’t have been that drunk if I managed to get Holly back here. I don’t correct her assumptions; I know I should but I’m happy to let her believe I slept with Holly after what she did to me last night.
I turn the telly on as a distraction from Molly. I need some time away from her after last night. I spend what is left of Saturday and all of Sunday preparing for the start of the new school year, and avoiding Molly.
Chapter Eighteen
Molly
Seven weeks later.
Ugh, the last few weeks since Ryan went back to work have been bloody awful. He avoided me the whole weekend after our little conversation in the kitchen. He barely even said goodbye to Abbi when she eventually appeared with Jax, both looking a little worse for wear on the Sunday.
He has been spending most of his time at school. I did manage to get out of him that his head of department had been signed off sick, so he is now in charge, seeing as he is second in the department. This has increased his workload massively, although I’m sure he doesn’t need to spend as much time there as he is. I’m convinced he’s just doing that to avoid seeing me.
Mind you, I can’t say I’ve been home much recently, either. Jax and I are getting more and more work in; it’s going brilliantly, and we are still working together well. He has been spending many of his weekends up in Manchester or meeting Abbi halfway for a dirty weekend. It sounds like they are still as attracted to each other as they were the night they met. Jax tries to tell me all about it, but I have to keep reminding him that although I fully support them, Abbi is like a sister to me and there is a limit to what I need to know about their sex life! I’m happy for them, I really am. I am also jealous as hell.
Yes, I’m still seeing Adam, and he is still lovely and the most caring guy I’ve ever been with but I just don’t feel the way I should about him. It’s still Ryan I fall asleep thinking about, and who I dream about at night and during the day if my mind wanders.
Ryan is still seeing Holly; they have been spending more and more time together from what I can tell.
Megan and I are still loving our pole dancing lessons, and we have now actually signed up to a slightly more advanced class on a Friday night. Tonight is the first one, and I’m a little apprehensive about what they are going to try to get us to do.
I have also taken up a life drawing class on a Wednesday at the local college. It was an eight-week course, and next week is the last one. I’m really going to miss it. Ever since talking about it with Ryan when we were on holiday, I kept thinking about giving it a go again. We have had a range of models that we have had to sketch throughout the classes, and there will be a final one next week. We then have to submit our best to be judged for the competition the college run. We can submit any of the sketches we have done in class, or one we have done outside if we wish. I know exactly what, or who, should I say, I want to submit, but it’s just a case of convincing him.
“Oh, come on, please,” I beg with my best puppy dog eyes and pouty lips.
“Molly, stop with the face,” he laughs at me.
“I’ll buy you anything you want. Well, within reason. I’ll ply you with alcohol if it will help, and feed you. Please. You’ve seen my work, you said it yourself that it was good. I promise I won’t make you look hideous!”
“I know you’re good at it; that’s not the point!” he says, shaking his head.
“Well, what is the point then? I’ve spoken to Abbi and she is totally fine with it as long as she can have a copy!”
“Ugh,” Jax groans.
“Why me? Why not Ryan? His body is better than mine.”
“Because I’m desperate to sketch those tattoos, and Ryan is still avoiding me and being a moody fucker. And, just so you know, Ryan’s body isn’t better than yours. It’s different. You’re hot and you know it, so shut up with the self-conscious bullshit. Man up and agree to get naked for me. It’s art; you’ve done it before and agreed it’s not that different to drawing a bowl of fruit, really.”
“For fuck’s sake, Molly, I wish you wouldn’t remember everything I say.”
“Sorry, that’s something to do with being a woman, I think!”
“Let me ask you something. Would you do it for me?”
I answer without hesitation. “Yes, I would. Come on, I’ve promised you can cover up your junk.”
“I knew taking this job was a bad idea!” he says, shaking his head.
“Stop being a pussy, Jax.”
“Right, fine, but you seriously owe me one for this.”
“Yaaaaay!” I say, jumping up and down before I run over and hug him. “Thank you, thank you.”
“You knew I’d cave eventually. I couldn’t listen to you anymore. It’s all you’ve spoken about for days!”
“Okay, so you’re busy tomorrow, right? But can you do Sunday?”
“Yes, I guess so.”
“Brilliant. So come over to mine in the morning; I’ll have everything set up ready, so we can get straight to it.”
“At yours? Won’t Ryan be about? I don’t want him watching - it’s bad enough you’ll be staring at me.”
“He’s still keeping out of my way. Plus, he won’t want to look at your naked arse. He’s still unconvinced about your relationship with his sister. He doesn’t need to see what she sees during your dirty weekends!”
“He needs to chill out.”
“You don’t need to tell me that!”
I climb my aching body up the stairs in search of a glass of wine after our class. I was right to be apprehensive about it; it was so much harder than our Monday night class. It doesn’t help that I landed on my arse a good couple of times much to Megan’s delight.
To my surprise, Ryan is sat in the living room watching telly. “Are you okay?” he asks, looking concerned.
“Yeah. Megan and I started a more advanced dance class tonight. It was definitely more advanced. I need wine and a hot bath. I’m sure I’m not going to be able to move tomorrow.”
“Make sure you drink enough water before you start on the wine and have a hot bath.”
“Yes, Dad!”
“Hey, just looking out for you. I wouldn’t want to have to come down and pull your passed out, naked arse from the bath.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Okay, if you need me, you know where I’ll be.” I grab a glass of wine, and water, and head downstairs. I put the radio on and relax back.
I get out after about half an hour. My glass is empty and I’m overheating. I wrap myself up in my huge fluffy towel, and head in to my room.
“SHIT!” Ryan scares the crap out of me by being sat on my bed. “Fucking hell, Ry. You could have warned me you’d be there.” I place my hand over my racing heart and take a couple of deep breaths to try to calm it whilst pulling my towel tighter around my body. I’m never more aware of what I’m wearing, or not wearing, as the case may be, when I’m around Ryan.
I look from him to my bedside table that has my bottle of wine, a can of beer and a bottle of something I don’t recognise on it. I place my glass next to the wine bottle and pick up the other bottle. Massage oil. Oh fuck no. No, no, no.
“Uh, Ry,” I say, turning back to him with the oil in my hand.
“Molly, don’t look so worried. I’m gonna make it better for you. You’ll thank me in the morning,”
I really doubt that. Having Ryan’s hands all over me is going to be torture. I can feel myself getting worked up at just the thought of it. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Ry.”
“Oh, shut up. Put a dry towel on the bed, then lie face down on it,” he says this like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
“I am not lying naked on my bed for you. You can forget it.”
“Okay, well put your pyjama shorts on, but you’ll need to be topless so I can do your back.”
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”
“I’m not making you do anything. If you really don’t want me to, I won’t. I promise it will help though,”
I stand and look at him as I weigh up my options. Get seriously turned on by Ryan running his hands all over my body, but not hurt in the morning; or, not be able to move in the morning.
“Right, turn around,” I demand. I grab a pair of knickers and shorts from my drawers and slide them on under my towel. I go into the bathroom to grab a dry towel and do as he says after pouring myself a large glass of wine and taking a massive gulp.
“Okay, ready,” I say, after I’ve made myself as comfortable as possible in this situation. I hear Ryan’s sharp intake of breath as he turns around. I crane my neck to see him but instantly regret it as I see his eyes darken as they run over my body.
“Ryan, get on with it before I change my mind,” I say, hoping to snap him out of his perusal.
I watch him grab the oil and pour some in his hands. He rubs them together to warm them up. He goes to the bottom of the bed and starts with my left leg.
“Holy fuck,” I moan. “That’s so good.”
“Told you. Now just relax.”
I try to do just that as he works his way up both of my legs, but the higher up he gets, the harder it is to relax and the harder my clit is pounding. I’m trying my best not to make it obvious that I’m turned on, but I’m sure my heavy breathing is a major giveaway. I’m also trying desperately hard not to make any noises because the couple of times I have they sounded very suggestive even to my own ears, let alone Ryan’s.
“Molly?”
“Uh huh.”
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for acting like a stroppy teenager since I’ve gone back to work. I’ve been stuck in my own head and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, ahh, Ry. I know you’ve been, ahh, busy.” I can’t help the appreciative noises that escape as I speak.
“That wasn’t really what I meant, but thanks.”
I’m just about to ask what he meant, but he moves on to my back and totally distracts me.
“Your tattoo is looking good. Does it still hurt?” Ryan says, running his finger over it.
“No, it’s fine now.”
I had it done just over a week ago. Jax went with me and held my hand because it hurt like a bitch. But now the scabs have cleared and the slight swelling and pinkness has gone, I’m really pleased with it. The artist Jax suggested was a pure genius; it looks better than I ever could have imagined.
Jax told me I’d have to wear a loose-fitting top for the appointment and for a few days after because it would rub if I had a bra or tight clothing on. So I followed his advice, seeing as he’s an expert in the subject.
I hadn’t told Ryan I was getting it done, and we hadn’t spoken about it since the night he found Jax and I planning it and he flew off the handle. When he eventually appeared after work that evening, he found me sitting at the coffee table, leaning over my sketchpad doing some work. I was so engrossed in what I was doing I didn’t hear him come into the room until he cleared his throat. I looked up at him to see him staring back with passion in his eyes.
“Is everything okay, Ry?” I asked suspiciously.
“I…um…yeah. Molly?”
“Yeah?”
“You need to go and put some more clothes on.”
It was only then that I looked down at myself and realised the way I was leaning over the coffee table in my loose top meant that Ryan could practically see everything. Shit. Suddenly, the look in his eyes made more sense to me. I put my pencil down and pulled my top up as I stood.
“I had my tattoo done today,” I say, pulling up the bottom of my top to show him the giant plaster. “I can’t have anything rub against it for a few days,” I watch him swallow hard as he looks at my side.
“Right, but you can wear something bigger than that, right? You can have one of my t-shirts if you want.”
“No, it’s okay.”
I go to leave the room to change, but not before I catch Ryan adjusting himself as he walks into the kitchen. Even after weeks of barely talking, the effect we have on each other is still the same.
I’m brought back from my daydream with a gasp as Ryan’s fingers gently brush the sides of my breasts.
“Sorry,” he mutters behind me.
He is now sat across the backs of my thighs, and I can feel the unmistakable shape of his erection pressing into my arse. I really need to put a stop to this, but it feels so good.
I can hear Ryan’s breathing has increased and it now matches mine.
“Ry?”
“Yeah.” God, his voice sounds so sexy when he’s turned on. It gets gravelly and even deeper than normal.
“I think we need to stop,” I say regretfully.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”
“It’s okay, I just think it’s time to stop.”
“Let me just finish your shoulders and I will.”
“Okay.”
I lay my head back down and let him continue. After a couple of minutes, I feel his hands come to a stop but rest on my lower back as he sits back on his heels and lets out a huge sigh.
I lift myself up slightly and turn my head to look at him. He has his eyes shut and his head tipped back towards the ceiling like he’s praying.
“Ry,” I whisper. This brings his head down and his eyes open, making me gasp. His eyes are so dark they are almost black. Shit, no wonder he needed a moment.
After staring at me for a couple of seconds, he moves to get off me. I shift slightly to my other side so I can see him. Because of the height I’m at on my bed, the first thing I see is the huge bulge in his jeans. My mouth waters instantly; how easy would it be to reach out to him? He’s only stood a foot away from me. I raise my eyes until I meet his. I watch as he runs them over my half-naked body once more before he announces he’s going for a shower.
“I’ve probably used all the hot water.”
“I won’t need any,” he says over his shoulder as he strides out of my room.
“Oh,” I say to my now empty room. “Shit.” I grab on to the sides of my pillow in an attempt to stop me from following him.
I eventually get up and grab a top, before splashing my face with some cold water and putting my moisturiser on.
I lay back in bed, staring up at the ce
iling. I can’t help my mind wandering and picturing Ryan in the shower upstairs. The thought of his hot body with water running over it and him relieving himself of his obvious excitement has my hand heading south down my body. As expected, I find myself soaking wet, and it only takes me a matter of seconds to bring myself to orgasm with images of Ryan floating through my mind.
Ryan
I let the cold water run over me, but it does very little to calm me down. The last hour has been both heaven and hell mixed into one. Having my hands all over Molly is something I have dreamt about for so long now, but the reality of it was so much better than I ever could have imagined. Her skin is silky soft and perfect. I love every mole and freckle that I committed to memory during her massage. But having her laid half-naked under me, so close yet so far away at the same time, was pure torture. All I wanted to do was flip her over and kiss her as if my life depended on it.
I have missed her so much over the last few weeks, and I know it is my own fault. I distanced myself from her after the night she stayed at Adam’s. I just couldn’t take it, watching her get close to him and their relationship develop. She is still seeing him, but she hasn’t stayed out all night since. Every time I know she is going out with him, I always end up going down to check on her to make sure she is safe. Sad, I know, but I can’t help it.
I’ve been seeing Holly regularly, but only as friends. Neither of us is interested in anything happening. I’m sure Molly thinks we’re dating, and I know I should have said something to correct her, but I just can’t bring myself to do it when I know she is seeing Adam.
I take my painfully hard dick in my hand and start stroking it up and down. With thoughts of a half-naked Molly under me and the noises she was making ringing in my ears, it’s not long before I feel the familiar warming sensation in my lower back before my balls draw up to my body and my dick twitches in my hand as I cum into the shower. The relief is welcome, but it only takes the edge off. What I really need is Molly. The need to go down to her is so strong, but instead I dry myself off and crawl into bed. I drift off with thoughts of her hot little body in my mind.
Angel Series Books #1-2.5 Page 22