Angel Series Books #1-2.5

by Tracy Lorraine

  “Right, well Molly came here earlier, upset and wanting someone to talk to. We got drunk and…”

  “You fucking took advantage of my drunk girlfriend? You fucking bastard,” I shout, before my fist connects with his jaw, making his head snap to the side.

  “For fuck’s sake, Ryan. I did not sleep with her. Will you fucking pull yourself together?” he says with his hand gently touching where I just hit him.

  I shake my hand out and walk away from him. “So, go on…”

  We got drunk, she chucked wine over herself so she had a shower and I gave her a t-shirt to put on. She eventually passed out on the sofa so I carried her in here.”

  “So you didn’t…nothing happened?”

  “No Ryan, of course not. I’m in love with your sister, not Molly, and she loves you…deeply.”

  My eyes snap up to his but he quickly looks down at the floor. “You’re in love with Abbi?” I ask quietly.

  “Yes,” Jax says, so softly I almost miss it.

  “Fuck man, I thought you were just…” I suddenly stop myself; I can’t say that about my sister.

  “I think that’s all it is to her, but I’ve fallen for her big time. She’s made her feelings very clear this weekend though, so…” he tails off with a shrug of his shoulders.

  “Mate, if you feel like that you’ve got to fight for her. My sister can be a stubborn bitch but if you think she’s it for you, then you can’t give up.” Shit, I never thought I’d be saying this to Jax about Abbi. I guess falling in love with Molly has made me soft.

  Molly

  I feel myself coming round, so I turn over and cuddle in to the duvet before willing myself back to sleep so I don’t have to feel my head pounding and stomach churning with my movement. Eventually I give in, and decide I’m gonna have to go in search of painkillers instead.

  I gently ease my eyes open and my breath catches in my throat at the sight in front of me. Ryan is sat staring down at me sat in a chair, looking anguished. I break my stare with him to quickly take in my surroundings, and I am totally confused when I realise I’m in his bedroom. The last thing I remember was drinking on Jax’s sofa. How and when did I get here?

  I look back into his concerned eyes, “Ry…” I try speaking, but my throat is so dry that I have to swallow and try again. “Ryan?”

  “There are painkillers and water on the side if you need them,” he says coldly.

  “Thank you,” I whisper, before slowly pulling my body up enough so that I can take them without upsetting my dodgy stomach too much.

  Once I’m done, I lie myself back down and look over Ryan’s features. His eyes are bloodshot, he has dark circles around them, and his hair more of a mess than usual. I let my eyes roam down his body, noting that he is still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, but what I notice the most is the dried blood on his knuckles. “Ryan, what…” I start to ask the first of the many questions that I have, but he interrupts me.

  “No, Molly. You need to go first. You have the most explaining to do.”

  I’m suddenly reminded of everything that happened over the last two days, and it makes me want to dive under the covers and hide. I never got to make a decision as to whether I wanted to tell Ryan the truth, but it doesn’t look like I’m going to have much of a choice now. He must see the internal discussion I’m having with myself, because he prompts me to start talking. Hearing his voice and looking into his eyes though makes me realise there never really was a decision to make; I made it a long time ago.

  I roll onto my back so I don’t have to look at him, and let out a huge breath before saying very quietly, “your mum tried paying me off.”

  The silence in the room is almost painful as Ryan takes in what I have just said. “So yesterday was you leaving me?” he asks quietly, making my head snap back to his.

  “What no…Ryan, that wasn’t it at all.”

  “But you ran; you did what my mum wanted and left me.” I see his eyes start to fill with tears before he looks away from me. “Was that it? If I didn’t find you last night, would we be over now?”

  The pain in his voice causes me to scramble out of bed and crawl over to him until I’m on my knees by his feet and holding his trembling hands in mine. “No Ryan, that wasn’t it at all,” I repeat.

  “So what was it?” he asks quietly.

  “Your mum got me alone under the pretence of looking at some old recipes, but what she actually wanted to do was sit in front of me and tell me all my greatest fears. To hear them spoken back to me and to know someone else thinks the same things about me that I do freaked me out. She warned me about breaking up your family, and I know how much they mean to you, and I didn’t - I don’t - want to be the one who causes issues between you all. Family is too important. So yes, I did run, I guess, but only because I needed to get my head together. I spent most of the day thinking, what if she’s right? What if I’m not good enough for you? What if I can’t do the relationship thing? and God forbid if she was right and I do end up hurting you because of my ‘issues’. I started wondering if maybe you could do better, find someone nicer, sweeter. Someone that your mum approves of. So I spent most of the morning with Hannah, but she wasn’t much use on the advice front.” I quirk the corner of my mouth up when I see a small smile creep onto Ryan’s face at my inappropriate joke. “Then I needed to speak to someone who would understand, so I went to Jax’s. I told him everything and he told me what I knew all along, but was just too scared to admit to myself.” I look back up into Ryan’s eyes to see them probing me to continue. “That I love you and I shouldn’t care what your mum thinks of me, and the only person’s opinions I should care about are yours, and that I am just as important to you as your family if not…more so…” I tail off at the end, just in case I have got this all wrong.

  Ryan doesn’t say or do anything for a few minutes, and the longer he just sits and stares back at me, the more nervous I get about what he is going to say when he eventually does. I’m searching his blue eyes for any clues as to what he is thinking when he suddenly moves, making me jump. He leans forward, grabs me around the waist and launches us both to the bed. The sudden movement isn’t great for my stomach, but I manage to keep it under control and all is forgotten when Ryan rolls me on my back and places his lips to mine. He places a few feather light kisses to my lips before he runs the tip of his tongue along the join, asking for me to open up, which I do instantly. My hands automatically go into his hair so that I can hold him closer to me. When I feel the hand that was on my hip start to move up my waist, I pull away from him. When I pull back from him and open my eyes, I can’t help but laugh at his pouty face. I run the pad of my finger along his bottom lip before kissing his nose.

  “Now, Mr. Evans, can you please explain to me how I woke up in your bed and why you have dried blood on your knuckles?” I lift an eyebrow at him in question.

  He leans forward and places his forehead against mine, and lets out a breath that tickles down my neck and causes goosebumps.

  He closes his eyes before he starts. “So I was freaking out all day. I know something was wrong from the moment I saw your note, and then how you were at the meal, but I didn’t want to ruin everyone else’s day. Abbi convinced me you’d be back later, so she sat with me after everyone else went home, but she could tell I was getting restless, not being able to get in contact with you. After speaking to Steven, I eventually I persuaded her to go home because it was getting late, and I set out hunting you down. I went to the office, because that was where you went before, but it was empty. So I went to see Susan to get Megan’s phone number, because I thought she’d be your go-to person, but when I rang her she said she was away. Both Chris and Shane hadn't heard from you, and it wasn’t until I started talking to Susan about how I thought it was my mum’s fault you had disappeared did it occur to me that you’d be with Jax. After everything that had happened between him and Abbi, I knew he’d understand whatever had happened with Mum. I didn’t know where he lived t
hough, and Abbi was driving, so it took her what felt like forever to get back to me, but when she did she gave me his address, and I came to find you.” Ryan lets out a huge breath and looks up to the ceiling. I place my hand on his cheek and bring his gaze back down to mine.

  “Now, I’m not proud of what happened next, and you should know I feel terrible about it.” He again breaks eye contact with me as he starts to explain. “I got myself into his building with the help of a drunken couple and started pounding on the door. When Jax answered in his underwear and looking like he’d had a good roll around his bed, I just lost it. I was so concerned about you and worked up that I accused him of sleeping with you. When he told me you were drunk, I accused him of taking advantage of you and I punched him,” he whispers with a shaky voice. I suck in a breath at his confession and bring his eyes once again to mine, and will him to continue. “I’m sorry. I feel awful for jumping to conclusions, but he looked…rumpled, and you were in his bed. All rational thought left; well, that was until he said nothing happened, and that he was in love with Abbi. Did you know he was in love with her?” I just nod, not wanting to interrupt him.

  “Him saying that snapped me out of it and I immediately apologised. We chatted for quite a while and I tried to convince him to fight for her. I asked him what was going on with you but he refused to tell me, because it was for you to do that. You were still totally out of it so I scooped you up and brought you home with me. I’m sorry, but there was no way you were spending the night in another man’s bed, even if you are just friends with him. I was worried you’d wake up and be ill, so I sat in the chair and watched over you.”

  I can’t help the tears that start to stream down my cheeks as he says this. How could I ever doubt him and how he feels for me? “I’m sorry, I should have told you right away about your mum, not run, but it just messed with my head.” I can’t help the sob that erupts from within.

  “Shhhh, it’s okay. I understand,” he says whilst rubbing my back to calm me down.

  “She just said all that stuff, and it’s the same stuff I worry about, and I just freaked. I’m so sorry. I love you so much, Ryan. I’m sorry you thought I left you. I’m sorry for running. I’m sorry for making you doubt Jax. I’m j-j-just s-s-sorry,” I stutter. Ryan wraps his arms around me until I’ve got myself back under control.

  He kisses my nose before pulling back and looking into my eyes, “You are it for me, Molly. You need to realise this. You are good enough for me. I actually worry that I’m not good enough for you; I mean, just look at you. So what? You haven’t had a relationship before, but what we have is ours and it doesn’t matter that I have been in relationships before, because ours is different and we will work it out together. Get through stuff together. We will learn how to be in a relationship with each other together.” He rolls onto his back as he says this, and I cuddle into his side.

  The next thing I know, I’m being gently rolled onto my back as Ryan tries to sneak out from under me. I groan and go to grab his arm to pull him back.

  “I’m sorry gorgeous, my phone’s ringing. I’ll be back soon with tea, I promise.” This makes me feel better, so I roll back over onto his pillow so I can breathe in his scent while he’s gone.

  I listen to his footsteps as he heads towards the living room, before his voice makes me jump. “How fucking dare you? I told you not to stick your nose in…no, no, you do not get to explain. I know exactly what you did and I’ve had enough. I don’t give a flying fuck what you think; I am in love with her and she is the most important thing in my life, and nothing you do will change how I think about her.” Everything goes silent and all I can hear is my heart beating loudly in my chest. I can just imagine her crying and begging for forgiveness on the other end of the phone. “No, I don’t care. You say you know her, but what you have done is enough proof to me that you don’t. If you knew Molly at all, you would know she could never be bought off. Her world doesn’t revolve around money. There is no way giving her any amount would make her even consider it.” It goes quiet again before Ryan raises his voice even louder, shouting that he is done and for her not to contact either one of us for the foreseeable future.

  The following silence is almost painful as I consider whether I should get up and go to him or give him some space. All of a sudden, there is a loud bag, and a loud fuck is shouted. I’m just about to put my feet on the floor when I hear him pounding up the stairs.

  “Ryan, are you…” The look on his face stops me. He looks murderous. His fists are clenched at his sides, his chest is heaving from where he is breathing so heavily, and I can see the vein in his neck pulsing.

  “I’m going for a run.” He manages to get out before marching over to his chest of drawers, changing into his running clothes and storming out of the house.

  So much for my tea! I sit in bed for a while longer, thinking about everything that has happened in the last few minutes, before heading for a shower. It’s not until I’m washing my hair that I realise it’s Monday, and that both of us should be at work. I quickly finish up and head back in to the bedroom to find my phone to call Jax.

  “Hey, how are you feeling?” Jax asks after picking up on the first ring.

  “Better than I should. How are you?”

  “My heart hurts worse than my head, but there’s not a lot I can do about that. Anyway, I’ve got everything covered here so you spend the day sorting stuff out with Ryan. You really scared him yesterday, you know. I really hope you’ve told him everything, because I don’t think he could cope if you left him. He was like a mad…”

  “He told me he hit you; are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, Molls, just a small cut and bruise. It’ll be healed in no time, plus I’m sure it’ll help me pull a new woman.” I can hear the pain in his voice as he says it, and it breaks my heart a little.

  “Jax,” I say, letting out a big breath. “I’ll try to speak to her for you.”

  “Thanks. Ryan told me last night to fight for her, and I’m going to try but I can’t help feeling like it’s going to be a waste and I hate feeling like that.”

  “You’ve got to try though, mate. You’ll always wonder otherwise.”

  “Yeah, I know. Look, I’ve got to go, I’ve got a client coming in. I hope everything is okay between you two, and thank you, Molly.”

  “What are you thanking me for? I should be thanking you for putting up with me last night and apologising for my hot-headed boyfriend.”

  “I’d have done the same as Ryan did if the situation was reversed, so no worries there, and I think we both know I needed you as much as you needed me last night.”

  “Yeah. I guess. Ring me if you need anything. Have a good day.”

  I send a quick text to Abbi asking her to ring me when she can, before I get myself dressed and ready for the day, before heading downstairs to make us some lunch ready for when Ryan gets back.

  I end up waiting for Ryan to return for so long that I have to eat my half of the sandwiches I made whilst I’m working. I was intending on taking Jax’s advice and spending the day with Ryan, but seeing as he’s disappeared, I thought I might as well get some work done.

  My phone rings just after twelve thirty, and I quickly answer when I see Abbi’s name. She is going full throttle trying to convince me, and herself I think, why being with Jax is a bad idea, when I hear the front door slam, shut making me jump. I’m suddenly nervous about the mood Ryan might be in when he appears. After everything both me and his mother have put him through the last two days, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was seriously pissed off. When he does round the doorway though, my breath catches in my throat at the sight of him, and I can’t help my eyes take him in from head to toe. His hair is wet and sticking up in all directions. His skin is covered in a sheen of sweat, making his already tight t-shirt stick to and show off all his well-defined muscles, and his chest is still heaving like it was before he left. What really catches my attention, though, are his eyes. They are a dark navy blue and the
sight of them has me clamping my thighs together, because he only ever has eyes that dark when he is really turned on.

  Abbi is still jabbering on in my ear, but I haven’t heard a word of it since my eyes landed on Ryan. I watch as he throws his water bottle on the kitchen worktop before running his hand through his hair while running his eyes over me. My pulse rate increases with every move he makes, and when he starts slowly sauntering towards me, the pounding in my chest is accompanied by a pounding lower down in my body. When he is stood in front of where I’m sitting on the sofa, I rise so that my breasts run up his chest. His scent hits me and I instantly feel heat pool between my legs. Ryan slowly reaches his hand up, and I think he is going to cup my cheek, but to my surprise he pulls the phone out of my hand and I hear Abbi’s voice get quieter as he puts it to his ear.

  Our eyes have been locked on each other’s from the moment he finished perusing my body a few moments ago. His mouth suddenly opens and my eyes break away to look at his lips. “Molly will ring you back later,” Ryan says into the phone, before throwing it on the sofa behind me. His voice comes out deep and gravelly, making a shiver run down my spine.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ryan

  I hang up on whoever Molly was talking to and throw her phone on the sofa. It’s barely landed before I have her over my shoulder and I am marching us up the stairs towards our bedroom.

  I started out running to relieve the anger I was feeling towards my mother and her fucking stupid actions towards Molly. I’ve always know my mum likes to meddle in our business; she’s shown a few times that she really doesn’t care what people think about what she does, but trying to pay Molly to keep her away from me takes the fucking biscuit. I meant every word I said before I hung up on her earlier: I’m done. I’m done with her and her controlling bullshit.