I fight the darkness claiming me this time. I need to see him. I manage to move my hand slightly again before I feel myself drift off, but only for a couple of minutes, I think, because my arm being moved wakes me. I feel his lips touch the back of my hand and, like always, tingles shoot up my arm. He’s here.
“Come on, Molly. Come back to me, gorgeous,” he whispers quietly.
Come back? Where have I been?
I try desperately hard to open my eyes, but they feel like they weigh a tonne. After a while, I give up and fade away again.
I wake with a start and this time my eyes fly open. My heart is racing like I was having a nightmare. The room is dark apart from the moonlight that is coming through the gaps in the blinds. I sweep my eyes round the room and it suddenly dawns on me that I am in hospital. Instantly, the memories of the accident hit me, a bit like the car that night. I close my eyes and shake my head to try to rid myself of the image, but the pain that pierces my head as I move is like nothing I have ever felt before. Before I can help it, I am back there at the traffic lights, talking to Susan as I pull away gently, trying not to skid in the snow that is covering the road, when I see lights heading towards me. There, looking like he has no chance of stopping, is a big four by four coming straight for me. I swerve but slide on the snow before it ploughs into the passenger side of my car. Everything instantly goes black after that. My stomach turns over and I think I might be sick. Luckily, after a few seconds of staying still, it passes.
I look down and see the cast that is practically all the way up my right arm before the figure on the other side comes into view. Ryan is sat on a chair next to my bed, but he is leant forward and has his head resting on his arm on the bed that is holding mine. His other hand is resting gently on my stomach. His face is towards me and I can see his hair falling into his eyes, and I desperately want to brush it out the way. When I look over his face, I see that he is much paler than usual. Rings around his eyes are dark and it looks like he hasn’t shaved in days.
Part of me says I should leave him to sleep, but the more selfish side says that I need him, and actually I think he needs me too.
I lick my lips and find my mouth is really dry. God, I need a drink. I swallow slowly before trying to speak.
“Ry,” I whisper, my voice coming out all rough and gravelly from sleeping for God knows how long.
I squeeze his hand in mine, say his name again, and watch as his eyes flicker where he is coming to. When his eyes do open and see me, my breath catches at the pain being reflected back at me. It is almost instantly gone though, as what I think is hope appears as he realises I’m looking back at him.
“Molly,” he whispers as he lets go of my hand and brings his up to my cheek to wipe away the tears that have escaped at seeing him.
“Hey.”
“Hey. How are you?”
“I’ve been better, you?”
“A million times better now you’re awake.” He stands up and moves towards me so he can place his lips to mine. “Fuck, Molly, you have no idea how scary that was,” he says quietly, and I can feel his lips trembling against mine.
“I’m sorry,” I sob.
“Hey, it’s not your fault. I need to tell the nurse you’re awake,” he says, going to move.
“Not yet. Please would you just hold me?” I shift as much as I can to the side, so Ryan can just about squeeze on the bed next to me.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
We lay there for what feels like hours. There was a moment when I saw that car coming at me that I didn’t think I’d ever get to be in his arms again, and the thought of leaving him was far scarier than anything that could happen to me. I wonder if that was how Hannah felt at that moment. Suddenly, a thought hits me.
“Ry,” I whisper, because I’m not sure if he’s fallen asleep.
“Yes, gorgeous?”
“What’s the time and date?”
“It’s…uh…eleven-thirty on the 15th January. Why?” he asks.
I don’t answer straight away because it takes me a few seconds to pull myself together. “Hannah. It’s exactly a year. Exactly a year ago that she died and I woke up.”
Ryan doesn’t get a chance to comment, because a nurse pokes her head in, presumably to check on me. “Hey, what are you doing up there, mister?” she asks, before her eyes widen slightly when she sees me looking back at her. “Molly, you’re awake.”
“Sorry, I asked him up here,” I say as she makes her way to my side.
“Don’t worry, love, I’d want him up next to me as well,” she says with a wink, making Ryan blush as he gets off. “I’m Maggie. I’ve been looking after you on this ward, my love. How are you feeling?”
“Fine, apart from my head, and I need a drink.” Before she has a chance to do anything, Ryan is there next to me with a cup of water and a straw, apologising because he should have offered me some as soon as I woke up. Maggie disappears off to find me some more painkillers, leaving us alone again.
“Are you really okay?” Ryan asks, sitting himself back on the side of my bed.
“My head is fucking killing, but other than that I think I’m okay. I’m guessing I’ve broken my arm,” I state.
“I’ll leave out all the details until you’re a bit stronger, but yeah, you’ve broken your arm and collarbone. You’ll be in a cast for a few weeks.”
“Oh well…it could have been worse.”
“Do not go there, Molly. There was a moment that it could have been.” I watch tears fill his eyes and he looks away from me, lost in thought.
“Hey, look at me. I’m here and I’m mostly fine, I promise.”
After Maggie reappears with painkillers, Ryan sneaks back up on my bed and we fall fast asleep. Apparently, even though I’ve been asleep for days, I still need more.
The next thing we know, we are being woken by a different nurse doing the morning medication round.
“Good morning. Molly, it’s so good to see you awake,” she says cheerfully as she grabs my notes from the end of the bed. “The doctor is on his way to come and see you. He shouldn’t be long.”
Only a few minutes after the nurse leaves does a doctor walk in. He explains everything to me about what I’ve been through, and when he explains how close I was to not being here right now, I feel awful about my comment to Ryan last night about how it could have been worse. Apparently, it nearly was much worse. The news now seems pretty positive, though. The swelling on my brain has reduced so much they aren’t worried, and my arm just needs to be in cast for six weeks, then I should be good as new. I will need some follow up appointments to check everything, but I should be discharged in a few days, as long I stay stable. Thank God for that; I don’t think I’d cope with being in here too long.
“Okay well unless you have any questions, I’ll go get the ultrasound scanner now you’re awake. I’m sure you’re dying to see.” Before I have a chance to say anything, he is out of the room.
“Uh…what was that about?”
I watch Ryan’s face split into a huge smile before he says anything. I don’t think I have ever felt so confused. “You know how you’ve been feeling a little off recently?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, turns out there is a very good reason for that.” I just raise my eyebrows at him in question. “Molly…you’re pregnant!”
“I’m…um…what?”
“You’re pregnant.”
I think back over the last few weeks, being sick, being tired, feeling bloated and having painful boobs. Yeah, I guess that would sort of make sense.
“I…um…when?” It may be true, but I am still completely stunned by this.
“Well, they think you are about nine or ten weeks, so I’m thinking it was my birthday.”
“But I’m on the pill. How? I haven’t missed my period, so…”
“You were sick when we were away, so I guess you weren’t protected.”
“Oh shit, yeah! When d
id you work all this out?”
“Molly, I’ve been sat here for days waiting for you to wake up. I’ve had plenty of time to think!”
“Sorry,” I whisper. “Are they sure it’s okay? I mean, I’ve just been in a huge accident.”
“Yeah, they’ve actually scanned you a couple of times to check, and baby’s heartbeat is really strong.”
“Have you seen it?”
“No, I refused to look until we could do it together. I’ve heard its heartbeat though. It’s amazing.” I watch his eyes fill with water as he talks. I swear he hasn’t stopped smiling through this whole conversation.
“I’m guessing you’re happy about this, even though it wasn’t planned?”
“Molly you’re kidding, right? I couldn’t be happier. We’re having a baby!”
I can’t help but laugh at his excitement. He leans over to kiss me and places his hand on my belly. I cover his with mine as I smile against his lips. I guess that was why his hand was there when I woke up in the night.
Three days later and I’m packed and ready to head home at last. It turns out I was right, I’m not a very good patient. I’m too independent to have to rely on people to look after me. I’m not under any illusion it’s going to be any different when I get home though, what with Ryan, his parents, the Morrisons and our friends fussing around me.
We told everyone about the baby the day after we had the scan. I needed a day to get used to the idea. To say it was a shock would be an understatement. Everyone, as expected, was over the moon for us. I’m pretty sure that both Susan and Karen have already started shopping for the new arrival, even though we still have months before it’s due!
I managed to convince Ryan to go home to sleep now that I’m awake, which he did begrudgingly, but he does look better for it. He has still spent every waking moment here with me. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though.
To my surprise, Karen comes walking into my room a few minutes later with a huge smile on her face.
“Hi Molly. Are you ready to head home?” she asks, going to grab one of my bags.
“Uh…yeah. Sorry, but where’s Ryan?” I ask, trying not to sound too disappointed that he isn’t going to be the one taking me home.
“He’s had to go into work to sort something out to do with his time off. He’ll be back as soon as he can.”
I try really hard to hide my disappointment, but I clearly do a rubbish job of it because Karen drops my bag and comes over to give me a hug. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
My heart brightens a bit when Karen pulls up outside our house and I see that Ryan’s car is here. At least I won’t have to sit and wait for him to come back. I watch as Karen takes my bags from the boot and places them in the hallway, before coming back to help me out and into the house. She stands behind me as I climb the stairs just in case I fall, but as soon as I am at the top she announces that she needs to head off and asks quickly if I’ll be okay. She takes me completely by surprise, so I give her my thanks for bringing me home and watch as she scurries out of the house.
As I head over to the living room door, which is weirdly closed, I can’t help but think how strange it is that I can hear Ed Sheeran singing about loving until he’s seventy. I’m used to hearing Ryan’s indie rock filling the house. I push the thought aside though, and open the door to the room. As soon as it swings open, my hand comes up to cover my mouth, because I’m in total shock. I did not see this coming.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ryan
I hate not being the one bringing Molly home from hospital, but I think what I’ve organised will more than make up for it. Well, I hope so!
Mum rang me just before they left the hospital so I knew what time to expect them. I am now sat here getting more and more nervous by the second, waiting to hear her car pull up and them enter the house. I hope she has managed to keep her mouth shut. I don’t think I could forgive her if she gives it away.
I eventually hear the rumble of her car and I do a final check of the room. Every surface is covered in candles, their flames filling the room with a warm glow as the sun sets outside. I quickly press play on the iPod, and triple check the little black box is still sat on the coffee table where I left it.
After a few minutes, I hear footsteps climbing the stairs, before I hear my mum tell Molly that she’s got to leave. I let out a huge breath to try to calm my nerves before I see the door handle turn.
Time seems to stand still as I wait for her to appear, but when she does, the look on her face takes my breath away. Yes, she still has purple and green bruises down one side of her face, and her arm is in its cast, but she still looks as perfect as ever to me.
Once her eyes have taken in all the candles, they find me. They are already full with unshed tears. I hold my hand out to her and very slowly she moves towards me and grabs it in her own trembling hand.
I slowly lower myself on to one knee and grab the open box that is on the table. I watch her eyes widen to the size of saucers as I do it.
“Molly…I’m so glad that life is unpredictable, because I never would have believed that we could have found what we have with each other. I never thought the best friend I could ever ask for could also own my heart in the way you do. You amaze and inspire me every day, Molly, and I would like to spend the rest of my life trying to do the same for you. I love you more than I ever thought possible, and I never want to spend a day of my life without you by my side.” I take a deep breath and blink back the tears that are threatening the more I look at the ones streaming down Molly’s face, before I continue. “So…Molly…you are my best friend, the love of my life. Will you do me the pleasure of being my wife?”
She instantly starts nodding her head and through her tears, she manages a very shaky yes.
I let go of her hand so I can pull the ring out of the box and slide it on her finger. Both of our hands are shaking so much that it’s a challenge, but we manage it eventually. I stand, ready to carefully pull her to me, but she surprises me by jumping into my arms and sobbing into the crook of my neck. I can feel the tears fall down my face as well now. The stress of the last week and the contentment that she is now home, in my arms and wearing my ring, is just a little too much to take.
I lower us to the sofa and we just hold each other for long minutes while we try to get over our emotional breakdowns!
Eventually, Molly releases the death grip she has on me and leans back so she can look at me. “I love you so much, Ryan.”
“I love you too, soon-to-be Mrs. Evans.” Her face breaks into a wide smile and she pulls her hand in front of her so she can look at the ring. The ring that I’d seen back in the summer in Cardiff with Abbi and Liv and knew I’d buy for her one day. What I didn’t realise was quite how soon, though. When I decided what I was going to do, I had to send Liv out on an emergency shopping trip for it. The main ring is white gold but the setting of the diamond is rose gold. Molly’s colour.
“Where did you find this? It’s gorgeous and pink!” she laughs.
“I saw it last summer when Abbi and I stayed with Liv. It’s Welsh gold.”
“It’s perfect. I love it.
“A perfect ring for my perfect girl.”
Epilogue
Molly
It’s been four weeks since I came home from hospital and had the shock of my life. Well, I guess the second shock of my life, after finding out I was pregnant a couple of days before that. Ryan said on New Year’s Eve that this was going to be a good year. Now, I know we’ve had a bit of drama, but I think that’s over now. My follow up appointments have been good and I’ve not had any headaches at all. We’ve got a baby to look forward to, I think as I rub my slightly more rounded belly, and a wedding to plan. I can’t help but smile every single time my ring catches my eye. It’s gorgeous, I love it.
I’ve still got my cast on. Thank God it comes off next week, and I should be able to get back to work. I’m going crazy, shut in the house all day with my ‘babysitters
’ looking after me. God bless them; I love them all, but they are doing my head in!
Jax has been working his arse off trying to make up for me not being there. I think he’s grateful for the distraction though, because Abbi is still doing everything she can to avoid him. So much so he has actually decided not to come tonight. I totally understand why, but I would really like him to be here to celebrate with us.
“Molly, come on, people will be here in a minute,” Ryan hollers up the stairs. “I’m sure you look perfect, so stop fusing.” I can help but smile at myself in the mirror. Never in my life did I think I could be this happy.
I head downstairs to find my fiancé and get ready to celebrate our engagement with our closest friends and family. Well, nearly all, as we will be missing Jax and Ryan’s parents as this weekend is the weekend I booked for them to go to Paris. We were going to change the date of the party, but it was the only weekend everyone else could do for a while, so they convinced us to go ahead without them and we will catch up when they are back.
“See, I said you’d look perfect,” he says as I enter the living area. I’ve got on a floral fitted maxi dress that shows off my tiny bump. It may still seem small, but I’m seriously going to have to go clothes shopping soon to get some to accommodate my expanding belly!
Ryan comes walking straight over to me, pulls me to him and gives me a sweet yet knee-weakening kiss.
“Is that really necessary?” Abbi shouts from the dining room table.
“Yes,” Ryan answers once he has had his fill of me. He sticks his finger up at her when he sees the disgusted look she has on her face, as he goes back over to setting the music up.
Everyone arrives not long later. It feels just like New Year’s again, with us celebrating a new chapter in our lives.
“Molly, your phone,” Ryan says, handing it to me. I look down to see a message on the message on the screen.
Angel Series Books #1-2.5 Page 56