“I’m so sorry,” I say, and go to put my feet back down.
“Don’t. I was just thinking how comfortable that looked. I don’t think I’ve sat down since getting out of bed this morning; my feet are killing me,” she says, as she slumps down beside me and copies my pose once she’s pulled her phone out. “Ugh,” she complains after tapping the screen for a few seconds. “I should have known.”
“Everything okay?” I ask, although I don’t feel like I really know her enough to pry.
“Yeah, the guy I’m seeing has bailed on me again tonight. I should have seen it coming, really. Hey, let me buy you dinner to say thank you for helping me out today; I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“You don’t need to do that. I actually enjoyed myself. All your customers are so sweet here.”
“Yeah, they are, especially the regulars. But I need to say thank you, so I’m not taking no for an answer. I’m not thinking anything flash, mind you, I’m too exhausted. How do you feel about finishing up here, then stopping off at the chip shop? I’ve already got a bottle of wine chilling in my fridge.”
“You really don’t have to,” I say again, but over the last few crazy hours I’ve kinda warmed to Connie and would quite like the opportunity to get to know her a little better. From what I can tell so far, I think we’re going to get on well. I hate to admit it, but Molly could well be right; I could do with some more friends. I’ve hidden myself away since the accident and just kept my family and closest friends around me. Moving here is a new start for me, and maybe a new friend who lives here is just want I need. “But I could totally eat fish and chips right about now!” I tag on, because I don’t want her changing her mind if I refuse too much.
It only takes us an hour to finish up and to be pulling onto Connie’s driveway with our dinner. Her parents own an old farmhouse on the edge of the village, and Connie lives in a converted barn on the grounds. She explains to me how her dad’s building company did the work a few years ago when they were quiet. Her brother moved into it first, then she did a few years later. She briefly gives me a tour of the downstairs. It’s stunning with its exposed beams and highly contemporary decoration. I don’t get to explore upstairs, because that is her brother’s domain, apparently.
Once Connie has the wine, she joins me on the opposite huge, soft, brown sofa to where I’m sat. God, I could lose hours on this thing with a good book. We both curl our legs up under us and get stuck in to our food.
“That was so good, but I really need to start being good,” I say, after licking my fingers free of salt and grease. Having sat back after putting my plate on the coffee table, my protruding belly catches my eye and reminds me of the weight I’ve gained over the last few months. I’ve always been on the larger side. I guess if you were being nice, you’d call me curvy, but my comfort eating has pushed that to a whole new level. My usual snug fitting size twelves have turned into size sixteens. I know I should have done something about it before it got this far, but I’ve been so lost that I just didn’t care. But I want to be happy again. New home, new life, new me. It is definitely time.
“It’s okay to be bad every now and then,” Connie says, trying to make me feel better.
“Yeah, but the problem is I’ve been bad every time recently!”
“Oh!”
“You can get away with it,” I say, looking her over. Connie has some great curves, exactly what I crave, and I bet the guys fall over themselves trying to get at her. She is also quirky as hell, with her inverted blonde and pink bob that sits just above her shoulders, and her rock chick ripped jeans and band t-shirt that she changed into when we arrived. She has way more style than me. I feel like her frumpy older sister sat here in my bog standard, a little too tight bootleg jeans, and a navy polo shirt that does not cover my muffin top like it used to. That is how I always used to feel, growing up with a twin as stunning and elegant as Hannah. The memory of her chokes me up a little, so I change the subject to something safer. The last thing I want to have to do is explain my reason for being upset. “So, won’t your brother mind that I’m here?” I see Connie look at me quizzically before obviously just deciding to answer my question.
“No, he’s in Australia. Has been for five months now. I can’t wait for him to come home; I miss him so bad.” I see her glance across at a photo on the sideboard of her and a blond haired, good looking guy. What is it about everyone I know being surrounded by good looking men? I mean, first there was Ryan, followed by Jax, but now Connie has both the guy she’s seeing and her brother, who also look like they could grace the cover of a magazine and not look an inch out of place.
Connie goes on to explain that Ruben, her brother, and his best friend have gone on a six month ‘gap year’, surfing in Australia. She tells me all about how they both work for her dad, but once Ruben is back he will be taking over the reins of the company so their dad can semi retire.
Before we know it, it’s gone midnight. The second bottle of wine is almost empty, and we have watched at least four old episodes of Sex and the City while chatting away. I’ve never met someone that I have instantly got on so well with. It’s like we have known each other forever.
“So, tell me about your boyfriend,” I say to Connie, as I take a sip of my newly filled wine glass.
“I wouldn’t call him my boyfriend. We’re just…keeping each other company when we need it.” I’m not sure I totally believe this, after seeing the photo of them together in the coffee shop. They looked really happy and comfortable with each other.
“Connie…just call a spade a spade. You’re telling me you’re friends with benefits. I was under the impression it was more than that, from the little bits you’ve said.”
“No, not really. Yeah, we hang out every now and then, but it isn’t, and never will be, anything serious. Plus, I will have to put an end to it before Ruben comes back, because he hates Elliot.”
“Surely that’s none of his business.” I say this, but if I spin the situation around and it was either me or my little sister Lilly dating someone that Dec hated, then I can only imagine his reaction. Dec may be the youngest, but being the only boy, he is fiercely protective of us, and I get the impression that Ruben may be the same with Connie.
“They’ve hated each other for years - since primary school, I think. They went through school being rivals for everything: best grades, football captain, most popular… you know what school is like,” she says, reminding me of all the things I hated at school. All the competition to be the best, the most perfect and popular. I guess that’s how it goes when you are that good looking. It was certainly the case at our school. “And now they have rival companies. Elliot’s family are also builders, so they are always competing for jobs. If it’s not that, then it’s girls. Ruben would kill me if he found out I’d been sleeping with him.”
“When’s he due back?”
“Just over a month. I’ve still got time,” she says with a wink. “So…boyfriend?”
“No, not unless you count fictional ones.”
“Fictional?”
“Yeah, as in book boyfriends. I’m a bit of a romance book whore,” I admit.
“Huh…I’ve read a few romance books, but I’ve never fallen for any of the characters,” Connie says, looking completely perplexed.
“Sounds like you’ve read romance books…not romance books.” I go on to give her some suggestions, but when she looks totally overwhelmed I ask her to grab me some paper, and proceed to put down some of my favourites. “You’ve got a Kindle, right?” I ask, as I pass my list over to her.
“Uh...”
“Bloody hell, woman.” I grab my phone out of my bag and have one ordered for her in minutes. “What’s the coffee shop address?” She rattles it off to me and I type it in for the delivery address. “There, it will be here Monday. You just need to stock that baby up.” I know, I know, talking about books gets me a little overexcited.
I end up sleeping on Connie’s sofa
after we give up chatting sometime around three am. It’s been great to chat the night away; it reminds me of my days in university when I lived with Molly and Hannah. We often used to stay up half the night setting the world to rights. It’s amazing the amount of things I find I miss that I had totally forgotten about.
Chapter Two
Emma
It’s been a month since the first day Connie and I started chatting, but it feels like I’ve known her all my life. Instead of coming into the coffee shop, ignoring everyone and hiding in the corner, I now sit up on the stools at the bar and chat away to Connie while she serves customers and I edit my manuscript. I’ve even let her start to read it when it’s quiet, although she has no idea where the idea came from. I’m still not ready to talk about that. Well, that’s when she can pull herself away from the Kindle. I think I’ve got her hooked!
I’ve helped out more and more at the coffee shop, seeing as her part timer never reappeared, and since I moved into my new place two weeks ago and it’s only a short walk here. I make sure I walk down to the high street at least once a day as part of my new healthy eating and exercise programme. I think I’m doing okay; I’ve lost a little weight since that night with the fish and chips, but more than that, I feel better. With Connie’s help, I’ve been eating really well. Apparently, her brother is a health nut, so she’s picked up some dishes from him. Most nights we eat together, either she’ll come to me or I’ll go to her. I’ve found a back way to hers though some fields, so I get even more exercise on the days I go there. I’ve even started trying to run it! I thought I was dying the first couple of times I tried it, but it’s slowly getting easier. I need to make the most of it though, because I will not be trekking through the fields once the summer is over.
I go to grab a chocolate muffin for a customer and look at the Emma keep out sign that is taped to the back of the display stand as a reminder to me to stay away. I glance at the bowl of fruit Connie keeps stocked up next to it, and laugh to myself. She may not have been in my life very long, but I’m not sure how I would cope without her already. I’m starting to feel like a new me, and she has a lot to do with that. Her happy, cheeky personality would lift anyone’s spirits, and I’ve never known someone to smile as much as she does.
I’ve been in the coffee shop all morning while Connie is at the hairdressers. I see a flash of purple and blue as she comes rushing in, shouting her apologies for how long she’s been, before promising she’ll be back and disappearing into the office. I just look back from the door she went through when the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and a shiver runs through my body.
When I look up, I lock on to a very familiar set of dark eyes. My breath instantly catches in my throat, and my body freezes.
I watch as he runs his hand through his dark brown hair as he looks back at me. It’s much longer than in the photo, showing just how old it really is. Not only does Connie have long, mousy brown hair - not the sleek, colourful style she has now - but his hair is now falling in a shaggy mess around his face and onto his neck, not cut into a neat style. He also has pretty long scruff on his face, like he hasn’t shaved for some time. If it wasn’t for the eyes that I feel follow me around this place whenever I’m here, I don’t think I would recognise him.
My brain starts to work the closer he gets, and I start to wonder why he’s here. Connie was meant to have broken up with him because her brother is due back tomorrow. She will not be impressed with him turning up like this. It’s weird because with all the time I’ve spent here and with Connie in the last month, I have never seen him in person. Yes, Connie talks about him, and I’ve heard his voice on the other end of the phone, but I was starting to think he was a myth.
Before he gets to the counter, I run my eyes down his body. Something happens in that moment that I have never experienced before. My heart starts to pound and I start to sweat. Yeah, I’ve been nervous before, but never has just the sight of another person caused this reaction in me. Not even when I fancied the pants off Callum in school. He’s wearing a very loose fitting black vest that hangs so low on the sides that he might as well not be wearing it. It shows off way too much bronzed skin and sculpted muscle. I continue down to see a pair of long khaki board shorts, and finally a pair of flip flops on his feet. Sweet Jesus, even his feet are hot. Wait, what the hell is wrong with me? I never, ever have thoughts like this. I sound like a girl in one of my books, standing here drooling over the guy my friend has been sleeping with. I don’t even notice that what he is wearing does not at all match the miserable grey and rainy weather outside. My thoughts are too jumbled up by his hotness.
“Is…uh…Connie about?” he asks in a deep, sexy voice. Nothing he says registers though, and the only reaction I have is to snap my eyes back up to his magical ones. Now he is closer, I can see they are the same colour as the espresso here, but with flecks of gold which catch the light and really soften his face, making him seem a little less intimidating with his perfect nose, square jaw and sharp cheekbones.
I bite down on my bottom lip and continue to stare at him. The old me is screaming at me to get a grip, but the new me is enjoying the feelings this guy is giving me. So this is what it feels like, I think to myself as I continue to stare. I have to say though, he also doesn’t look away, which I think is odd, because there is nothing about me to look at. I’m wearing a denim skirt that is long enough and loose enough to cover all my now slightly smaller lumps and bumps, and a white Connie’s Coffee and Cake t-shirt that I managed to throw chocolate powder over a couple of hours ago. When I see his eyes flick down and focus in one place, I shouldn’t be surprised. If I was watching this play out with any other man and woman, and the woman was wearing a t-shirt that had a slightly too low V-neck for her oversized boobs, I would expect him to stare. But this is me we’re talking about. The overweight, frumpy, less than average looking girl that is currently covered in chocolate and smells like coffee.
I feel my face heat the longer he stares. The flush hits my cheeks before it travels down my neck and onto my chest. I see his tongue sneak out to wet his bottom lip, before his mouth opens like he is going to say something, but we both get distracted by high pitched screaming coming from across the room.
“OH MY GOD!” Connie squeals, as she runs and launches herself at him. He just about gets his senses back as she flies through the air at his body. She clings on to his neck and wraps her legs around his waist. He holds on to her just as tightly, mind you. I find it odd as I watch the interaction, because she only saw him last night. This all seems a bit over the top.
It’s not until Connie pulls away from him with tears spilling down her face and her bottom lip trembling that I realise something is not right here.
“I didn’t think you were back until tomorrow,” she says, looking at him like he’s a god.
“I lied to surprise you,” he says in his sexy voice, that makes my knees a little weak. “Surprised?”
“Oh my God, yes. It’s so good to see you. And I’ve been dying to introduce you to Emma. Emma, this is Ruben, my big brother,” Connie says, smiling up at him like he is the most amazing person in the world, so she misses whatever odd and shocked expression that must pass across my face. Ruben sees it, though, and looks at me questioningly.
“Nice to meet you,” he says, returning his focus to me. He stares straight into my eyes, and it renders me motionless for a few seconds. This is not good.
“I’ve…uh…got to go…I’ve had a call from work. It’s uh…urgent.”
Connie barely hears my words, because she is still staring at Ruben like he could disappear at any moment. I swear I see disappointment wash over his face as he continues looking at me. I can’t for the life of me figure out why. Maybe it’s just the bit of cleavage I have on display. I mean, he’s spent months with bikini clad girls, then twenty-four hours on a plane; maybe he’s missed looking at it!
I watch as Ruben gives Connie a shove and nod in my direction before she thanks me for t
he morning and promises to ring me later. I’m not expecting that call to come, though.
As I grab my stuff to leave, I listen to the siblings’ conversation behind me.
“Where’s Fin?” Connie asks, sounding slightly disappointed after her earlier excitement.
“He went straight home to see his dad,” Ruben responds, but when I glance back I see that he is not at all focused on Connie, but his eyes are actually locked on where my arse was bent over to get my bag out of the cupboard. It’s definitely time I got out of here, I think as I say my goodbye to Connie, nod at Ruben, and practically run from the coffee shop like a lunatic.
When I get home, I realise I’ve jogged all the way without having to stop for a breather.
I enter my cottage through the back door, grab myself of glass of water, and sit on one of the stools at my breakfast bar.
What the fuck was that?
I feel like I’ve just acted out a scene from a book that I didn’t quite believe ever really happened in real life; just like I don’t really believe that men can be quite so fiercely in love with their women that makes them act the way they do in a book. I mean, it’s just fiction and fantasy. It’s what women want to read about: the perfect man, the white knight ready to ride off into the sunset with. I’ve seen real couples and how real couples act, and it is not like I read about. Okay, well, Molly and Ryan and Abbi and Jax are a little like that, but they must be the exception and very lucky. And then there is my mum and dad, of course, but they’re old-school.
I gulp down my water and think about all the reasons I know for all the feelings I just experienced to be very, very wrong. Firstly, I do not, never have and never will want a man. I am, and always have been, happy on my own. Secondly, that was Connie’s brother, not ‘friend’, that I was lusting over - if that is what it can be called. She has told me all about him and his ways with women, and the competition he has with Elliot over them. I do not want to be involved with that or with him.
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