I spend the afternoon at my desk, looking out over my little garden and working on my manuscript, but I can’t really concentrate. Anything that happens in the story between the guy and girl I keep referring back to Ruben and me this morning.
“ARGH…this is not helping,” I shout, as I push myself back from the desk in a huff.
Maybe I should have just gone to work like I told Connie. I’ve got plenty I could do there, but I’ve already done my hours for this week. I have loved working part time over the last few months; it has allowed me time to get the house sorted, but also to make good progress on my book. But right now, being at the office all the hours God sends like I used to seems like a good distraction.
I decide I need to do something about my pent-up energy, so decide to have a go at another run. I change into my running clothes, making sure my boobs are securely fastened into my sports bra, grab a bottle of water and my iPod and head off.
Ruben
All I want to do is sleep for a week, I think as I strip down to my boxer briefs and slide into my bed. Ah, there is nothing like your own bed! The last six months have been nothing short of amazing - a once in a lifetime experience. But I am so ready to be home and back to normal life again. After non-stop partying the last two weeks, then the long flight home, all I want to do is sleep. I would have done that as soon as I got back a couple of hours ago, but I knew Connie would never forgive me, so after dumping my stuff, I headed straight to her coffee shop.
She was the one thing I worried about when I left. After all her friends left the village for bigger lives after they graduated. Connie has been kinda lonely, although she would never admit it. She clung on to me, and Fin, which I was not happy about, when they all left. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I mind; I love my sister dearly, and other than Fin, I’m not ashamed to say she is my best friend. There is nothing we don’t share. Well, almost. There are some things siblings don’t need to know about each other’s lives.
I made sure I Skyped her at least once a week so I could check up on her, and she always seemed to be doing okay. A little sad, I would say, but okay. It wasn’t until a month ago that I saw a real change in her. She explained to me all about meeting Emma, and I was thrilled she had someone to spend time with again and to do all the kinds of stuff girls do that I couldn’t do with her.
Although I’d never met Emma, I felt like I’d known her for years with the detail Connie would go into, telling me about her new friend. I know about her job, the book she is writing, and the diet and exercise regime Connie has started helping her with. I’ve also seen pictures, and it’s those pictures that have helped with me wanting to come home. One look at her cornflower blue eyes, contrasting golden skin and dark hair, mixed with her sweet smile, and I was enthralled. I can’t explain it, but something about her spoke to me, even in a photograph that was thousands of miles away. I could see from the photos Connie sent why Emma is set on losing some weight. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a guy who loves - and I mean loves - a curvy girl. But from living with Connie, I can see how she might be self-conscious. To me, though, her body is banging. Everyone says that you are either an arse or boob man; well, call me greedy, but I am both. I’d have a girl with a great rack and an insane booty any day over those stick thin, nothing to grab on to girls that Fin goes for. Okay, so granted it’s kinda hard to see her curves under the baggy clothes that she always seems to wear, but that is what I’m imagining, and I have been dying to see if I’m right.
What I wasn’t expecting was that Emma would be the first person I would see on my arrival home. I saw her behind the counter of my sister’s coffee shop the moment I walked in front of the window. I watched her for a second as she stared at the display of cakes with longing in her eyes. She’s obviously still dieting, then!
I couldn’t take my eyes off her from the minute I walked through the door. Much to my delight, she was exactly what I was imagining. Well, her top half anyway, because she was behind the counter. Her dark hair was pulled back from her face, showing her flawless skin. Her eyes were bright as she looked back at me, and the moment she bit down on her plump bottom lip I instantly get a semi. I made my way down her neck to see exactly what I was hoping for: a great rack. No, great probably doesn’t begin to explain how fucking awesome her tits are. And what was even better was that the t-shirt she was wearing was a little on the tight side, and a lot on the low side, so I got a great view of her cleavage. I knew I was still very obviously checking her out as I walked up to the counter and asked where Connie was, but I couldn’t help it; I couldn’t get enough of her. As I got closer, I saw that she was covered in chocolate powder. It covered one side of her boob and was sprinkled across her cleavage. Good God, how badly did I want to lick that off? I leaned my hips against the counter when I got there, because I felt like I had no control of my body around her. I really didn’t need to introduce myself to my sister’s stunning friend with an obvious raging hard on.
I got distracted by my sister when she came running at me once she saw me. She looked so different to when I left. It was only a matter of weeks before her long brown hair was gone, in favour of short bleach blonde locks with alternating crazy colours. It seems that it’s purple and blue this week. I was worried about her sudden image change when I left, but it seems to have helped her find herself. She has an identity now, and she has morphed into an independent adult - not that she wasn’t pretty independent before, seeing as she had her own business by the age of twenty-two. To say I’m proud of what my little sister has achieved would be an understatement.
“What was that about?” I asked Connie after Emma gave some excuse about work and all but ran away. I guess she was running away from me if her deer-caught-in-headlights look was anything to go by.
“Don’t know. I’ll check in with her later and make sure she is okay. So, come on, take a seat. I want to hear everything.”
“I’ve spoken to you every week since I’ve been gone. You already know everything,” I said, laughing.
“Yeah, but it’s not the same as you telling me when you’re actually here, in front of me.”
I finally managed to get away from Connie’s incessant questions just over an hour later. I walked up to our front door, thinking that I should probably pop into the main house to see Mum and Dad, but I was exhausted. I’m sure they’ll understand. I’m going to see them later, as Connie has already rung them and organised a family meal for tonight to celebrate my homecoming.
I only get a couple of hours’ sleep, my messed up sleep pattern combined with the memory of those cornflower blue eyes looking at me have me tossing and turning until I give up and get up, shower and dress. I try sitting and watching the TV while I wait for Connie to get home, but I can’t settle, so I grab my running shoes and head out. I usually run every day, and being cooped up on an aeroplane has my muscles twitching for some exercise. I head off on my usual ten mile route, and instantly feel better. I head out the back of our parents’ land and into the fields beyond, until I hit the pavement at one end of the high street and make my way through the tourists taking in the sights. I continue and I’m about to head back into the fields on my return journey when the sight of a familiar arse bent over while she heaves for breath stops me in my tracks. I can’t help but stop and stare, even though she is obviously suffering. She is wearing skin-tight leggings with a baggy white t-shirt over the top, but it is currently hitched up, giving me my awesome view. As I get closer, I see that she has her hands on her knees and her eyes are shut as she tries to regulate her breathing. She is beetroot red, and the sweat is pouring off her, thanks to the break in the clouds and some summer sun streaming down.
“You okay?” I ask, leaning down slightly so I can see into her eyes when she opens them. She startles and screams at my words. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I didn’t think it possible, but when she does look at me, her cheeks blush even redder with embarrassment. “Don’t worry, I was just tryi
ng to…uh…not die. I’m fine though, you carry on.”
“You’ve only just started running, right?”
“Is it that obvious?” she says, flashing me a cute smile.
“Yeah! I could help you train if you like. Show you the ropes and some good places to run around here.”
“Uh…” She looks very unsure of herself all of a sudden. “It’s okay, you don’t need to put yourself out like that.”
“Don’t be silly. I run every day and it can get lonely sometimes.” Okay, so this is a total lie. One of the reasons I like running so much is because I get to be alone with my thoughts, but the pull of being able to spend some time with Emma is too much, so I offer for her to share my favourite part of the day. Ruben, what the hell is wrong with you? Did you leave your balls in Aus? “Did you do any stretches before you started?”
“Um…no.”
“Okay, so let’s do some now while you catch your breath. They’ll help you ache less tomorrow if you do them properly.”
Chapter Three
Emma
I use the handrail up the stairs to help pull my exhausted body towards the bathroom. I begin stripping off as I make my way to the shower, and turn it on once I’m there. As soon as the water is warm, I stand under and let it soothe my aching muscles. I’d been out with Ruben for just over an hour, and he seriously put me through my paces. I should be embarrassed by my pathetic level of fitness, but I’m so knackered right now that I really don’t care. Plus, his support should really help with my weight loss. I feel like I could have lost a stone already with the amount of exercise he made me do.
I can still feel his hands skimming up my legs when I was stretching. He was pointing out where I should be feeling the pull, but all I could feel were the tingles running up my legs and awakening places in me that I didn’t know were asleep - or existed.
For some reason that I’m still unaware of, I have agreed to meet him again tomorrow afternoon for another session. I’m not entirely sure how I went from not wanting to be near him after meeting him for the first time, and discovering he was Connie’s older brother earlier today, to agreeing to spend more time with him tomorrow. I rationalise that I’m only doing it because I want to lose weight and he can help me with that, and that it’s got nothing at all to do with the pull I feel towards him, which has only got worse now I’ve met him in real life. Nothing to do with that at all.
When I get out and dressed, I check my phone and see that I’ve got a missed call from Connie. I’m surprised she remembered; I thought she’d be too distracted by Ruben’s arrival.
“Hey, how are you doing? I heard you spent the last hour training with Ruben. He can be a tyrant when it comes to exercise.”
“He definitely pushed me to my limit,” I say, but I don’t think Connie understands quite how badly he pushed me, and not just with the exercise. Having him so close, sweaty and smelling amazing was challenging to say the least.
“You okay? You sound weird.”
“Um…yeah…no, I’m fine. Just knackered.” I say, very unsuccessfully.
“Right,” she says, but luckily changes the subject. “So, Mum and Dad are doing a barbeque to celebrate Ruben being home. Do you want to come?” In all the time we have spent together this month, I am still yet to meet Connie’s parents. I’m thinking tonight isn’t the time though; with their son having been away for so long, they won’t want some randomer there.
“No, not tonight. I’m just going to chill out on the sofa with a book. Maybe next time, yeah?”
“Awesome, so you’ll come to ours for a meal tomorrow night, then. I’m cooking Ruben’s favourite. Come round after your workout with him.”
Wow, I totally walked right into that one. “Yeah, okay,” I agree, because there isn’t much else I can do at this point. I mean, spending more time with him than I’ve already agreed to won’t be that bad, surely? All my messed up feelings are just in my head, anyway. It’s not like he’s thinking the same things, so I should be able to just give myself a good talking to and get on with my life. My normal, ordinary life, where men don’t exist and I am more than happy.
I do some cleaning, albeit slowly with my sore legs, and make myself some dinner, but I can’t shift the thoughts of Ruben running around my head. I need to talk to someone. Usually that person would be my dad. While my siblings always went running to our mum, I, on the other hand, went straight for my daddy. The problem is, this isn’t really a situation I want to discuss with him, and also they are on their once in a life time dream cruise that they have been talking about forever. In the end, I pick up the phone and call the one person who I just know is going to have a field day with this.
“Em, you okay?” Molly questions when she answers the phone. I guess she has a right to be concerned; it’s not like I’ve been the best friend since Hannah died. I really should make more of an effort.
“Uh…yeah. How are you and Sprout doing? Not long to go now,” I say, trying to put a little joy into my voice so she doesn’t sense that something is up.
“What’s wrong?” That worked well, then.
“Nothing, just rang for a chat.”
“About anything specific? Has something happened?”
“Um…no not really. It’s just…oh it’s nothing, I’m just being silly. Come on, tell me about Sprout.”
“I’m coming over. Something’s up.”
“NO!” I shout, a little louder than expected. “Sorry, it’s just you’re weeks off giving birth; you don’t need to be dragging your backside over here. I’m fine, just wanted to talk to someone.”
“I’ve already got my shoes on and my keys in my hand. Won’t be long,” she says, before hanging up on me.
Huh, well that didn’t quite go as I planned.
I’m glad to say that things between Molly and me are pretty much back to normal now. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t have time for me after how I treated her at the beginning of her and Ryan’s relationship. Hannah and Ryan had been together for years; it was obvious that one day we’d all be attending their wedding and cuddling their babies. I was a bitch to Molly - that’s the only way to describe it - when I got suspicious of them last year. I don’t think anyone could blame me, though. It had only been six months since Hannah had died, and it was clear as day that things were heating up with her and Ryan after she moved in with him. My immediate reaction was to accuse them of being glad Hannah had died, and that they had always felt like she was in the way.
I’d known both Molly and Ryan long enough to know that that wasn’t actually true, but I was a mess. There is no other way to describe my state of mind back then. I was blind to the fact that they were struggling with the development in their relationship almost as much as I was. They didn’t see it coming, either.
It soon became clear to everyone how they felt about each other, and as much as I wanted to stay angry with them for betraying Hannah’s memory, I couldn’t. The way they looked at each other, the way they acted around each other - well, a blind man would see how much they loved each other. They tried to keep it secret from us for quite a while, but we all knew what was going on, and it got to the point that is was an inside joke to try to trip them up when we were all together for Sunday dinners.
It took me quite some time, but eventually I realised that both of them deserved to be happy after Hannah’s death, and that they loved her as much as we all did. They never intended to hurt anyone. It wasn’t until I started writing that I started to truly believe that all Hannah would want for both of them is for them to be happy, and if that meant as a couple, then so be it.
I’m now mostly used to seeing them together, but I still have moments when I find it strange, especially when I think about them now being engaged and having a baby. I am happy for them, though. They both deserve to be happy after everything they’ve been through.
An hour later, and Molly is sat on my sofa with a lemonade while I sip the wine she brought, trying to work out what to say. She has be
en just sat there staring at me for a couple of minutes ,obviously trying to work out what’s going on.
“There’s something different about you,” she says eventually, looking me up and down. “I mean, there is the obvious weight loss, which looks amazing by the way, but there’s more. I just can’t put my finger on it.”
She continues to stare at me until I snap. “That guy in the photograph at Connie’s isn’t her boyfriend, it’s her brother.”
It’s all I have to say, because Molly’s eyes go wide as saucers before she scares the shit out of me by screaming, “AT FUCKING LAST! WOOHOO!”
I put my glass down before putting my head in my hands and shaking it gently, while I feel the blush spread across my face and down my neck. After a couple of seconds, I feel Molly’s arms come around me and listen to her apologise for getting a little excited.
When she moves back, she hands me my wine and tells me to down it before asking me to explain all.
I have to say, I do feel better, having got it all out. Molly just smiles like a Cheshire cat the whole way through. Of everyone over the last few years, it’s Molly who has really been on my case about finding a man, but I think even she had resigned herself to the fact it wasn’t going to happen.
“You’ve seen him though, Molls. There is no way he’s going to be interested in me. Ow,” I say, as I rub the sore spot on the back of my head where she just slapped me. “What was that for?”
“Every time you put yourself down, I’m going to hit you. Emma, you are gorgeous.” She starts at the top. “You’ve got awesome thick hair, a complexion most women would die for, and stunning blue eyes. Your body, yes, is a little curvier than it was in the past, but is no less sexy. You’ve got an awesome set of tits on you that I know for a fact men love, and you’ve got an arse like Beyoncé, even more so with the exercise you’ve been doing. Top that off with a little waist and good shapely legs - you are the whole package. You seem to think all men want tall, skinny, blonde women.” I see her cringe a little at the description, because that is exactly what my mum and Lilly are, and Hannah was. She knows as well as I do that I’ve spent my whole life comparing myself to them, and hating that I got my dad’s genes in the body and hair department. The only things we all have the same are our eyes and mouths, which I am grateful for, otherwise I’d feel even more like the black sheep of the family. “You said yourself a minute ago that you caught him checking out your tits and arse. You might be his perfect woman, Em, you just don’t know. When are you seeing him next?”
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