“As far as I’m concerned, it is. Goodbye.”
I walk as quickly as I can to my gate so I can let myself in before I burst into tears. I get the kitchen door shut and locked, and I have to say I’m surprised that Ruben hasn’t followed me, despite what I just said. I hate that a part of me is disappointed he didn’t listen to me and instead fought for what he says he wants. Well, that just shows how right I am.
My overnight bag was by my backdoor when I got here. Connie must have dropped it off, so I take it with me up to my bedroom where I throw myself on the bed and let go at last. I cry for what I’ve lost, mostly for Hannah, but also for what I allowed myself to believe I might have had with Ruben. I feel Kia come and snuggle up to me. The image of Ruben with her on his lap when I came down from getting ready earlier pops into my mind and I cry harder at how such a strong man can be so soft when it comes to a cat.
It’s not long before I hear my back door being knocked on. It makes me jump, but I ignore it. After a few minutes, the doorbell at the front door starts ringing, followed by Connie shouting my name.
“Emma, please open the door. I’ve spoken to Ruben. He’s a dickhead. Fin, too. Please talk to me,” she begs through what I can only presume is the letterbox.
Her knocking and pleading with me to answer goes on for at least another twenty minutes before everything goes quiet, and at some point I must cry myself to sleep, because it’s early evening the next time I look at the clock.
After my nap, I make a decision. I can’t put up with Connie constantly trying to get me to talk. Although I know she only wants the best for me, her pestering me over the coming days isn’t want I want. Even worse would be Ruben turning up to do the same, which I know will happen eventually. He said before he left that this isn’t over, so I can only presume that he intends on making me listen to him somehow.
I start packing my suitcase, along with everything that Kia will need for a few days. I have to drag the bar stool over to the kitchen cabinets when I eventually remember where the hell my car keys are. After making sure neither of the Foster siblings are camped outside my house like has happened before, I load my car, lock up my house, and disappear from the place I now class as my home.
Chapter Sixteen
Ruben
“Ruben?” Connie calls out the minute I step through the front door. Brilliant, just what I want to deal with. I spent an hour driving round the village roads after I left Emma’s, trying to decide the best thing to do. My heart told to go back and demand that she hears me out, but my head knew that wasn’t the most sensible thing to do and that I need to give her some time. Hopefully, in a couple of days she’ll be ready to listen. I won’t lose her over this, I won’t.
It’s already starting to drive me a little insane that the image of Emma with a newborn baby in her arms won’t leave me. I have never had any thoughts about marriage, let alone babies, in my future, but it’s now like that image is haunting me, and it’s only been a few hours.
“Yeah,” I call back quietly, hoping she won’t hear and I can sneak upstairs in peace.
“What the hell’s happened with Emma? She told me you would explain,” she demands when she appears from her room. She sits herself up on stool at our breakfast bar, and waits with her arms crossed in front of her chest impatiently.
“Fuck! Right, well…it’s not actually as bad as it sounds,” I start.
“Well that doesn’t bode well…go on.”
So I do. I tell her the whole bloody story.
“YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLE!” Connie shouts at me when I’ve finished explaining, before she jumps off her stool so she can get close enough to start slapping and punching me. “YOU MADE HER A FUCKING BET,” she screams in my face. “A FUCKING BET!” she repeats at such a pitch I’m sure only dogs should be able to hear her.
I eventually grab hold of her wrists and hold them in front of her to stop the attack. I realise as we stare at each other and I take in her red angry face and out of breath state that Emma would have been much easier to deal with if she were angry like this. This I can deal with; the quiet, closed off way she was unnerved me.
“Finished?” I ask Connie when it seems that she has relaxed some.
She huffs out a breath but nods so I let her go and watch as she gets herself back up on the bar stool.
“I warned you to treat her properly, Ru, and this is how you do it. You’re a fucking dick.”
“I know, but I never took the bet seriously. I’d forgotten about it, to be honest. And I had no intention of telling Fin if I did sleep with her. She’s not one of the usual girls we get with. She’s more than that.”
“Damn right she is. I just can’t believe you would ever agree to it.”
“It was the easiest way to get him to shut up. He decided it was a good idea and went on and on until I agreed. I knew it was I stupid idea as soon as he said it.”
“I don’t blame her if she never forgives you for this. In fact, I think I’d be inclined to encourage her not to.”
I just stare at her. I know I’m in the wrong, but I sorta hoped my sister would help me out here. Tell Emma it was a mistake and how much I regretted it, all that kind of stuff, not just agree with her and tell her to run a mile.
“You’re both as bad as each other. Fucking children,” she mutters before she walks off back to her room. It’s only seconds later that I hear her shouting familiar words to someone. I can only presume she got straight on the phone to Fin so she could give him her two pence on the situation and rip him a new one as well.
In the week that follows, I run the same route that I know Emma does on the off chance of bumping into her. I stop by her house at least once a day, but she is never there. Her car is always gone. I make sure I spend every night working on my house in case she comes back to sit and think on the bench like before, but nothing. The flowers I have sent her haven’t been delivered because there was no one to sign for them. Embarrassingly, I ended up picking them up myself and giving them to my mum, as they refused to give me a refund. All my phone calls go straight to voicemail, and my messages don’t even get delivered, let alone read. That said, though, I have become quite good friends with the landlord of our local pub.
“Still nothing from Emma, baby?” Mum asks when she stops by the office with lunch for Dad and me.
I turn to look at her sadly before muttering a quiet “No.”
“Just give her time. She’ll come around.”
Connie helpfully filled Mum in on what I’d done, so not only did I have to deal with Connie’s anger, but later on that evening I had Mum stood in our kitchen reading me the riot act over my behaviour. She was so much worse than Connie, though, because she was so disappointed in me. I hated disappointing my parents.
I’m not the only one having no luck getting hold of Emma. Connie hasn’t managed it either, which surprises me and makes me think she could be lying.
“Still nothing?” Connie asks when I go into the coffee shop on Thursday night.
“Nope. And still no evidence of life at her house. I’m getting worried about her.”
“I’m convinced she’s either at her parents or Molly’s. Problem is, I have no idea where either live, other than on the outskirts of Oxford, which isn’t very helpful. I think we are just going to have to be patient. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”
Connie’s words don’t make me feel any better. Waiting sucks.
The fashion show that Saturday evening was just about as mortifying as I imagined it would be. Connie and Fin came along for the sheer entertainment value, which made me even happier about it all.
Unfortunately, Fin wasn’t lying about the tiny shorts I had to wear. I should have just walked down that fucking catwalk naked for all the good the white Lycra hot pants with gold sequins did.
Danni seemed more than happy with her choice of clothing for me, and couldn’t keep her eyes - or hands - off me, for that matter. She soon got the idea as to what kind of mood I was in, though, a
nd backed off a little after a while.
My mum was thrilled I was helping out, but even she looked a little embarrassed by my clothing. No mum should have to see that much of her adult son, ever. I guess my only saving grace is that since Emma has vanished without a trace, my dick isn’t constantly on alert for her. That is about the only thing that could have made the whole evening worse.
That night, I do as I always do and send Emma a text about my day. Yes, I know, I’m a sad fucker. I know she isn’t reading them, but I feel better at least trying to reach out. I even send her the God-awful picture Connie felt the need to take earlier so she could forever remember my punishment. She called it karma; I just call it what it is: Danni being an epic bitch. The thought of her opening that picture and smiling fills me with a fake hope that she might forgive me one day.
It’s not until the following Sunday that I get a phone call from Connie just after lunchtime saying she has just seem Emma. I instantly drop tools at my house and head straight over to her cottage.
To my relief, her car is on the drive, but there is still no answer. I can, however, hear Kia purring on the other side of the back door. Presuming she’s gone for a run, I take off on her usual route but still I find nothing. I’m getting more and more frustrated with every day that passes that I can’t talk to her. All I want is for the chance to explain, for her to hear me out. There is still no answer when I get back to her house, so I pick up my car, drop it off at home and head to the place I’ve spent way too much time this week: the pub.
Emma
“Emma, angel?” The sound of my mum’s voice shouting through the house causes fresh tears to fill my eyes. I’ve been waiting patiently for them to come home all day. I’ve cleaned their house from top to bottom in the past couple of days.
When I woke up from that sleep on Sunday afternoon, I knew there was only one place I wanted to be: at my parents’ house. That house is so calm and peaceful. I knew it was just want I needed to get my head together.
“Mum,” I sob when I get to the bottom of the stairs where both her and my dad are stood with suitcases around their feet.
“Oh, angel, what’s wrong?”
“I’ve…missed…you,” I say between sobs. I move over to my dad once I’ve had a long hug with my mum.
“Pete, could you take the cases up? I’ll get the kettle on,” Mum says, before grabbing my hand and taking me into the kitchen.
I sit myself down at the table and will my tears to stop. I’m just so relieved to see them after all this time.
A few minutes later, Mum has a teapot filled and has a plate of biscuits ready in the middle of the table. Dad came in a second ago to grab his mug, then excused himself to his garden, obviously sensing we needed some girl time.
“Silly me,” Mum suddenly says, “You probably don’t want biscuits, do you? You look beautiful by the way, angel. Not that you didn’t before, of course,” she tags on. After everything that happened at the weekend, eating hasn’t been my priority this week, which I know is naughty, but I just couldn’t face it, so I’ve managed to drop a little more weight.
“Thank you.” She just looks at me, her eyes gently probing me to explain. “I met someone,” I eventually say.
“Oh, angel. I knew something was different when we spoke on the phone last week. Who is he?”
“It doesn’t matter now, it’s over.” I go on to explain all, and to apologise for the fact I’ve been living in their house for a few days.
“I’m so sorry it didn’t work out, angel. I wish there was something I could do.”
“Just let me hide out here for a while. I can’t face him yet.”
“I thought you would have learnt by now that hiding doesn’t solve anything,” Mum says, referring to all the other times I’ve run away and hidden when things have got hard in the past. I am aware this is a trait that I keep repeating, but I can’t help it. It’s my coping mechanism.
“Just a few more days, please.”
“Okay, but then you’ve got to go home and face him. You’re an adult now, Emma. You’ve got to deal with your problems head on.”
“Thanks. Oh, I’ve got someone for you to meet,” I say, before getting up and going to get Kia from my old bedroom.
Well, I end up staying at Mum and Dad’s for two weeks. They aren’t happy about it, but they don’t kick me out like I’m afraid they might. I still go to work, I write and I spend time with Molly, Ryan and little Lois. I’d told Molly I was staying at my parents’ after I explained everything to her on the Monday night that we all visited. She said the exact same thing as Mum did about me not running away from my problems, but she did understand. She offered to go and rip his dick off once Lois had finished feeding, but I assured her that wasn’t necessary.
If I’m honest with myself, the only reason I decide to go home is because I really don’t want to spend my birthday - mine and Hannah’s birthday - at my parents’ house. I’m not sure what they are planning, if anything, but celebrating what was our day is far from what I want to be doing. At least no one knows it’s my birthday at home, so I can hopefully let the day pass like any other. I think it says a lot that I would rather deal with Ruben than my birthday. It doesn’t escape my attention that I am choosing to deal with one problem so I can run away from another. Bad habits die hard!
I drop my stuff and Kia at home before heading to the coffee shop to see Connie.
“Emma, oh my God, I’ve missed you,” she says as she excitedly comes out from behind the counter, completely ignoring her customers, and throws her arms around me.
“Sorry, I just needed some time to myself,” I say, hugging her back.
“I understand, don’t worry.” She scurries back behind the counter and serves the small queue she has before focusing her attention on me.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I guess. I just felt so stupid for thinking it could have been something real, you know?”
“It was…is real, Em. He’s a fucking mess. I know what he did was utterly stupid, but he really didn’t intend on going through with it. He was always going to lose. You’ve got to listen to him. I told him I wouldn’t help him with you, because I agree with you that he was an epic arsehole, so this is all I’m going to say on the matter, because just as much as he’s my brother, you’re my friend, and you need to make your own decision. I will warn you, though, that I will be letting him know I’ve seen you, so if you are home you can expect a visit soon. So…anyway…where have you been?”
I spend just over an hour with Connie, and we agree that she’ll come to me for dinner later so we can catch up properly. I see her reach for her phone when I walk in front of the coffee shop windows to head home. I just hope I can get back before he appears.
I had every intention of answering the door when he knocked, but when that knock comes, I’m more nervous that I can ever remember being. I’m sat at my desk, looking out over the garden, writing, and my body freezes as the sound resonates through the house. Kia, the little bitch, jumps off my lap and runs to the back door when she hears his voice. I can’t help but smile when she starts purring at him and he starts having a conversation with her. That’s the Ruben I know, the one I fell for; not the arsehole that had a bet with his mate that he could bed me.
I feel like a complete wimp when the knocking and shouting eventually stops. “You’re going to have to deal with him eventually,” I say out loud to myself.
I save what I’ve done not long later and head up for a shower before Connie gets here for dinner. Luckily, I stopped and did some shopping on the way here from my parents’, so I have some food in the house.
“Ruben said he came round but there was no answer,” Connie drops in as I’m dishing up dinner.
I turn to look at her before answering. She must see the answer written over my face, though.
“You chickened out, didn’t you?”
“Yes. I had every intention of speaking to him, but the second I heard the knock I panicke
d.”
“You know he’s just gonna keep trying until you speak to him, don’t you?”
“Yes, I know. So, how was the rest of your parents’ party? I’m sorry I missed the end.”
“I told you not to try to keep up with my nan; disaster waiting to happen, that is!” she says with a laugh, and I am grateful to Ruben in that moment because he obviously hasn’t said anything about my freak out to Adele, otherwise Connie would be questioning me.
“Oh my God, you wouldn’t believe who turned up a little worse for wear after you disappeared,” she says.
“Go on,” I say, placing a plate of pasta in front of her.
“Elliot and Danni.”
I just groan at the mention of those two, because I know some dramatic story is going to follow.
“Danni came marching in, demanding to know where Ruben was. Elliot, bless him, looked totally embarrassed and out of place as he tried to take her home, but she wasn’t having any of it and ended up dancing like a slut on the dance floor with any man she could find. Fin very quickly tried to get rid of Elliot when he sat down with me, but after a while, Elliot managed to convince Fin he was only there to look after his sister. She eventually disappeared, though. Unsurprisingly, so did one of my cousins about the same time!”
So I guess that answers my question about who was in Connie’s room that morning, then. “I thought you were done with him, Con. Ruben will go crazy if he finds out.”
“He’s too wrapped up in you to notice what I’m doing these days. Don’t sweat it.”
No sooner had Connie left last night did the knocking start on both my front and back doors. I wasn’t surprised, but I was done for the night. As soon as Connie left, I got in my pyjamas and jumped in bed with my Kindle, and I was not getting out for anything. I never thought I’d say it, but I am actually feeling a little sorry for Ruben. If what Connie has said is right and he is miserable, I really do need to get over myself and talk to him.
Angel Series Books #1-2.5 Page 85