Once I’ve composed myself, Ruben asks if I want a tour. Does he even need to ask?
“This end is going to be the kitchen. I was thinking of units all around there, a breakfast bar here, as well as a dining table in that space over there, but if you think something different, then we can change it,” he says enthusiastically.
We walk through the space that is going to be the living room and over to the bookcase. It’s only now I realise there’s a book on it. And, of course, that one book is the one I sighed for Ruben weeks ago at the book signing. If it’s possible, my smile gets even wider looking at it.
“This bookcase is gorgeous,” I say, running my hand across the smooth, chunky wooden shelves.
“I made it for you.”
“Wow, it’s stunning, Ruben. You could make a fortune selling these.”
“Nah, that’s a one of a kind Foster special for my fiancée.” Butterflies erupt in my belly at hearing him call me his fiancée. It’s gonna take some getting used to. I’d barely got used to calling him my boyfriend.
The entire house is gorgeous, even half finished. The master bedroom has the same floor to ceiling windows that the living room has, showcasing the view. Waking up to that will be amazing.
I’m looking over the countryside beyond when something catches my eye and a thought hits me. “A while ago I was sat on that bench mid run, and I felt like I was being watched. I was being watched, wasn’t I?” I ask, but I really don’t need to. I know the answer.
I look over my shoulder at Ruben, who is completely ignoring the view and staring straight at me. His lips quirk up at the sides, and its all the confirmation I need.
“That’s how you found me on my birthday,” I state. I never really questioned how he knew where to find me, but it’s all become clear now.
He shows me what will soon be our en suite and dressing room, before going round the other rooms upstairs.
“I thought this could be a nursery,” Ruben says, when we are stood in the smallest of all the bedrooms next to the master.
“Whoa, one step at a time, Ru.”
“I know, I’m just thinking ahead.”
I love the look Ruben’s had on his face the whole time we’ve been here. It’s clear to see the pride oozing from him from what he has achieved here. He’s full of it, bouncing from room to room and telling me about all the work that has gone into turning the once dilapidated barn into a stunning family home.
And I have to say, I totally share his vision. I really can see us here, starting a family. My stomach flips in anticipation at the thought. How my life has changed in only a few weeks really of living here.
When I put that offer in on my cottage a few months ago, I did it with the intention of starting over, getting a new life for myself. Never in a million years did I think that I’d have that new life so quickly. Not only a new life, but new friends, and now a fiancé.
The thought of leaving my cottage saddens me, but at the same time, the excitement of being here with Ruben cancels it out. Plus, it’s still gonna be a while before we can move in.
Those aren’t all the surprises that are apparently planned for the day. Once Ruben has showed me every inch of our soon to be home, we head back to my cottage. I spend the entire journey staring at my hand in disbelief.
There are cars everywhere when we pull down my street. I recognise most of them, so it gives me a clue as to what I’m about to walk into.
We go around to the back door, but instead of going in, Ruben steers me to the garden, where all the people I’m expecting to see are stood in my garden with drinks in their hands.
My mum and dad come straight over to hug us both, before my mum demands to see my hand.
“You guys know?”
“Of course we do, angel. Ruben came to ask your dad’s permission.”
I look over at Ruben and I fall even more in love with him at his thoughtfulness. That would have made my dad’s day, being able to give him permission to marry me.
Once we’ve said hello to everyone and accepted their congratulations, Molly thrusts a laptop in my face. With all the proposal and house excitement, I’d almost forgotten about my book. She hits refresh on the screen, and I see twenty-five reviews, and when we go into them, they are nearly all 5* with a few 4* thrown in. I’m trying desperately hard to hold back the tears as I read through what everyone has said about my book. I’m completely overwhelmed.
Today is turning out to be the best day ever.
Molly takes the laptop back, just as Ruben comes walking over to me. “Babe, is there something you need to tell me?” he asks, looking a little pissed off.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Okay, so how about you explain to me why when I just put an old loo roll tube in the bin in the bathroom, I found this,” he says, pulling a positive pregnancy test from his pocket.
“What? That is not mine.”
“It’s not? So why is it in your bathroom?”
“No, it’s not mine, I’ve never peed on one of those in my life.” I break eye contact with him and look around all our family members in my garden. One person stands out to me, and she is sat at the garden table, looking a little green and sipping on lemonade with Lilly. “Connie,” I whisper to myself, forgetting that Ruben is in front of me.
“Connie?” he asks with wide eyes.
“I don’t know anything, I swear, but she’s been sick a lot lately.”
Ruben instantly starts marching in her direction, and I have to run to catch up with him. “Ruben, don’t,” I warn as he gets closer to her.
“We need to talk,” he growls at Connie, before grabbing her arm and dragging her inside.
“What are you doing?” she shouts at him, but he ignores her and continues pulling her towards the living room.
He sits her down on the sofa, then stands in front of her with his hands on his hips. “So, is it you? Are you?”
“Am I what?” she asks, but I can see the guilt shining through her eyes when she glances at me, pleading for help.
I put my hand on Ruben’s forearm in the hope of calming him down.
“Are. You. Pregnant. Connie?” he bites out.
Her eyes instantly fill with tears and she nods as they spill over her cheeks.
“Who’s the father?” he demands.
“Ruben, calm down, you’re scaring her. I’m sure she’ll tell us everything when she’s ready.”
“No, I want to know now. I want to know what fucking idiot has knocked her up. How could you be so fucking stupid, Con?”
Connie goes to say something but gets interrupted.
“Con, baby, what’s wrong?” Fin says softly around a mouthful of hotdog from the barbeque that my dad and Ruben’s are manning in the garden.
Connie and I watch as Ruben looks between her and Fin with a shocked look on his face, before he starts shaking his head. Connie starts to cry harder and Ruben has Fin pinned up against wall and has his fist in his face faster than either of us can move.
“RUBEN, NO,” Connie screams, as she leaps from the sofa.
Acknowledgments
I can’t believe I’m at the end of my fourth book in this series already. These four characters have been floating around in my head for so long, it feels amazing to put them out there. I’ve felt really apprehensive about Emma, because I feel she is so different to Molly, Ryan and their gang. She lives a much quieter life then Molly and Abbi, and I was worried she wouldn’t be as entertaining. I really hope you have loved her and her self-conscious, shy ways.
As always, I want to thank my husband for supporting me through this and listening to me talk all things books without looking too bored! Of course, my gorgeous baby girl, thank you for allowing me to write Emma while pregnant, and then to complete and get her ready for publishing once you arrived. You are the most amazing little person ever.
To Pam, again, for helping me with ideas, beta reading. I couldn’t do this without your support. Thank you.
&nbs
p; To Evelyn at Pinpoint editing for proofreding Emma and polishing her up for me.
To Colleen and her reviewers and promotional team at Itsy Bitsy Book Bits. Thank you for everything you do to support and promote me – oh, and for making me cry while reading your reviews. It blows me away that you are writing those things about something I have written. And finally, to my Angels, thank you so much for all of your kind words, reviews, support, post sharing, pimping, and general awesomeness. You guys make me believe that I can actually do this.
Copyright © 2017 by Tracy Lorraine
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Pam, thank you so much for all the time you put in to help me bring my stories to life.
Chapter One
Connie
Emma grabs hold of me and pulls me back before I get to Ruben, who is still laying into Fin.
“RUBEN, STOP IT,” I scream at the top of my voice, but he doesn’t react. He just continues punching Fin. “FIN, DO SOMETHING,” I shout, trying a different tactic. Fin is strong enough to hold his own against my brother, but for some reason he’s just stood there as if he’s accepting his fate.
I vaguely register Emma also shouting next to me to try to stop Ruben, but it’s like he’s in some sort of trance.
We both watch in horror as Fin drops to the floor. I hope that means it’ll be over, but unfortunately Ruben just starts kicking him in the stomach instead. Fin tries to curl himself into a ball to stop the onslaught, but he doesn’t do a very good job.
Thankfully, all our shouting and screaming distracts the party that is going on in Emma’s garden for her and Ruben’s engagement and her book release, because both my parents and Emma’s come flying into the room, along with Ryan.
I get pulled back and I’m not aware I’m falling until I feel something soft hit my arse. It’s like I’m watching a film as I watch Ryan and my dad run across the room and start pulling Ruben away from Fin. I’ve always known that Ruben has a bit of a temper. I’ve seen him lose it before now but I’ve never seen him completely lose himself like this.
When they eventually manage to pull him to the other side of the room, I glance at his face. I actually shiver at the look in his eyes. He looks murderous. His eyes are wide and dark, he’s baring his teeth, his neck is pulsing, and all his muscles are pulled tight as he stares down at Fin.
What the fuck have I done?
I knew this was going to happen. It should have been enough to stop me, but it wasn’t. Nothing is, when it comes to Finlay Willis. Damn him with his sexy arse, cheeky smile and tongue that...now’s not the time!
A shriek that comes from my mum brings be back to the here and now. I drag my eyes away from the monster version of my big brother. He is heaving out his breaths while staring down at Fin as my dad and Ryan try their best to keep him contained. My heart is in my throat when I take in the bloody mess that is not only Ruben’s childhood best friend, but also the man I love, and always have.
Before I know I’m even moving, I’m on my hands and knees, leaning over him next to my mum. I run my eyes over the side of his bleeding and swollen face that I can see, taking in what I presume is a broken nose and split lip and eyebrows. He’s laid on his side, curled into the foetal position, completely still. If it wasn’t for being able to see his chest moving up and down, I would be extremely worried. Ruben didn’t go easy on him. I’m just grateful that Dad and Ryan pulled him away when they did, because he didn’t look like he was going to stop anytime soon. I shoot a look over my shoulder at him and see that Ruben’s still just as worked up as the last time I looked at him. If they were to let go of him, I have no doubt that he would carry on where he left off.
I look him up and down before saying quietly, “What have you done with my brother, you monster? Get him out of here.” My voice is eerily calm. Fuck knows why, because calm is the last thing I’m feeling right now.
I watch as Dad and Ryan drag a growling Ruben out of the room, then, thankfully, out of the house. I don’t care where they take him, as long as it’s as far away from me as possible.
Emma catches my attention. She looks between me and the doorway where Ruben just disappeared through.
“Go if you want,” I spit at her. I know I sound angry, and I know she can’t help feeling torn between staying with me and going with him. I can tell by the look on her face that she’s just as disgusted with his actions as I am.
“No. He doesn’t deserve for me to follow him. I’m with you, Con.”
Her words, along with looking back down at Fin, are the final straw. Tears instantly drop down onto my cheeks and sobs take over my body. I fold forwards over Fin’s almost lifeless body, and wail embarrassingly loudly.
This is all my fault. I knew Ruben would fly off the handle when he found out, and I knew he would find out eventually. I just kinda hoped I’d grow a pair and tell him before it came to this.
Ha, yeah, like that was ever going to happen.
Anyway, I don’t think it matters how he would have found out. He would have gone after Fin regardless. My brother is nothing if he isn’t protective of me, and he has warned Fin enough times over the years to stay away from me. After all, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. If only I had more control of myself around Fin, I would have been able to save us all a world of pain.
What we all just witnessed isn’t my brother. Yes, he can be hot headed, but he’s not vicious, really. I – we – just pushed him to that. I know that when he realises what he just did, he’s going to hate himself for it. Having said that, though, it doesn’t mean I’m going to forgive him anytime soon.
I have no idea how long I’m curled over Fin’s body when I feel hands on me pulling me up, and I hear voices I don’t recognise. I’m moved so I’m sat back on the sofa, and I feel arms wrap around me. When I look up, I see that the voices belong to two paramedics that someone must have rang.
I watch in a complete daze as they tend to Fin. We are all silent the whole time and it’s not until they have him on the trolley that my mum speaks up.
“I’m going to go with Fin, love. Emma, will you bring Connie to the hospital when she has calmed down, please?”
Emma says something, but I don’t hear her response because a whooshing noise suddenly fills my ears and my whole body goes weak and starts shaking uncontrollably at the same time. I put my head in my hands while taking deep breaths and willing the strange feeling to subside.
When I finally look up, Fin, the paramedics and my mum are all gone. I didn’t even get to argue that I should be the one to go with him. My tears come back full force at that thought. I should be with him. This is all my fault. I should be with him.
It’s not until I hear her voice that I realise I’m still wrapped in Emma’s arms. “I wish you had told me, Con.” I turn to look at her, expecting to see an angry face looking back at me for keeping this from her, but all I see is compassion.
She reaches up and wipes my cheeks when a few more tears fall.
“Oh, Con,” she says, pulling me back into a hug. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
How can she say that? She just watched the same horror show that I did. My mind replays the whole thing again in slow motion, from Ruben demanding to know if I was pregnant, to Fin being unconscious on the floor.
What a mess.
I feel Emma get up as I think about how I could have handled this all so much more effectively. To be fair, though, any way would have been better than this. All I’ve managed to achieve is hurt everyone I care about.
“Here you go,” Emma says when she comes back in. I look up to see her placing a huge mug of hot chocolate on the table that is topped with whipped cream and marshmallows. I look back up at her in question. “Well, I presume you’re o
ff caffeine, and I thought the sugar might do you some good.”
I just shrug at her and pick up the steaming mug. I glance around the room, then out to the garden, and realise that everyone has left. I suddenly feel awful for ruining what should be a really happy day for Emma. I’m too lost to say that out loud, though. I hold the hot mug in my hands, letting the heat warm me. It might be a lovely summer’s day outside, but I’m cold to the bone.
Emma sits silently next to me while I sip at the chocolaty, sugary goodness. She’s right, it does make me feel marginally better.
I put the mug back on the coffee table before standing and demanding that Emma takes me to the hospital. I need to be with him. I’d hate for him to wake up and for me not to be there.
“I promised your mum that I would make sure you’re stable enough before I took you anywhere. And apparently, it’s not just you that I’ve got to look after now, is it?” she says sarcastically, while glancing at my belly. “I want to know why you thought it would be a good idea to take a pregnancy test in my bathroom and leave the evidence there for anyone to see, but that isn’t the most pressing issue here. So come on, you’ve put it off for long enough. What is the story with Fin? I want to know everything and from the beginning. And I should warn you that if you say ‘nothing’ or try to get out of this, then there’s going to be trouble, Connie Foster.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the fact that sweet little Emma just threatened me. My brother must be rubbing off on her!
Ten years ago…
I scoop up my towel, grab my glass and iPod and head inside. I’d spent the day laid out on a sun lounger in the garden. I was meant to be doing school work, ready to start sixth form in a few weeks, but I mostly slept and listened to music. Mum would kill me if she knew. I promised her that I didn’t need to be sat at the dining room table whilst working. She told me I’d get too distracted anywhere else, and guess what? She was right!
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