From Mistress to Wife 3: Love Prevails

by Angie Hayes

  I barely eat, I only go to work and come home and drink. Word got out about what happened to Cassandra so my other two baby momma’s have been calling and being concerned but I just shut them out, including Alicia. I’m so fucking angry with her ass. I partly blame her for getting involved with a loose cannon like Rodney in the first place. She should have handled whatever business they had before getting involved with me, but that’s okay I had something for her ass also, because I’ll be damn if I’ll be the only one losing out.

  Once I gather myself, I just sat there starring at Cassandra’s headstone and started talking to her as if she was sitting right here next to me.

  “Hey baby. I had to come see you today because I keep having that same dream with my aunt coming to visit me. It seems so real, but you being gone don’t. I’m so sorry baby for causing this. I know that if it wasn’t for me getting involved with another woman, you would still be here. The kids are still with your sister and doing well. They are getting so big and miss you so much too! They are ready to come home but I can’t let them see me like this. I’m trying to move on and continue my life, but I realized I have no life without you.”

  I paused and started crying again. The saying ‘You never know what you have until it’s gone’ is an understatement, especially when you know they can’t come back. After sitting there for about ten more minutes, I decided to get up and leave and go visit the kids.

  “I gotta go baby. I’m heading over to your sister to see the kids. I love you forever.”

  I kissed her headstone and got up to leave. I knew I had to be a better man for my kids, for all of them. All I can do now is find my faith and rely on God to guide me because I’m lost.

  CHAPTER 4

  ALICIA

  “Oh my God Shawn can we please not have this discussion again! I told you, I’m going to go and talk to a lawyer soon!” I said as I rolled over and tried to get some sleep.

  “Alicia I’ve been hearing that damn excuse for two months now, and you have yet to actually go and do it!” Shawn said to me sitting up in the bed.

  I know he was waiting for a response from me, but he damn sure wasn’t gonna get it. Hopefully with my back turned to him and the covers over my head he’ll a take the hint and roll his ass over and do the same. For the last couple of months this has a daily argument for us, hiring a lawyer so he can solely get custody of Zaria since he signed her birth certificate. Don’t get me wrong, I know he loves her with all his heart. I mean he has been in her life before she even entered this world; he even signed her birth certificate. If this was about five months ago he wouldn’t have to ask twice, but a lot has changed since then.

  Shawn’s divorce is finally final from Carmen, so he’s officially not a married man anymore. Thank God on that because Lord knows how my track record was with that! He’s moved back in and we have been trying to pick back up where we left off, but of course that’s turning out to be hard as well. After the whole situation that went down with my ex Rodney stalking and shooting Troy and his wife, I have had this big burden on my shoulders because I kind of feel responsible for what happened. I feel like if I would have just been honest and completely broke things off with Rodney before getting involved with Troy, then this would have never happened.

  The only person I have shared my true feelings with is Keisha; and even though she told me that Rodney’s actions were his alone, I still feel like I’m to blame. After the incident, Troy ignored my calls and texts for two straight months. Finally he reached back out to me and told me that he was fine, and that he was trying to cope with living life as a single parent now. So I knew right then that I couldn’t come at him with signing over his rights and having Shawn adopt Zaria.

  From there on out every time Troy and I would talk, that subject never came into play and I always tried to keep it cordial. We still haven’t discussed the events that happened so it is always like the elephant in the room with us. I want so badly to apologize for everything that happened, but when it seems like I’m about to touch the subject he always hangs up the phone. Because of this, I’ve stopped all together. I know he needs time to get things in order on his end first before we open up these other can of worms.

  “You know what, fuck this shit!” Shawn yelled as he grabbed his pillow and left the room.

  This has become the regular for us as well. Every time an argument comes between us he leaves. I love Shawn, God knows I do, but this was all beginning to become too draining for me! All I want was peace and for everybody to get along; especially if we move on to marriage, but that shit seems impossible at this time.

  CHAPTER 5

  SHAWN

  I’m in my office at work with my head down on my desk with a banging headache. I really thought that when I handled the issue with Carmen and me getting a divorced, that all my problems would be solved. That I could marry the woman I love and become a legit family with Alicia and Zaria, but that’s far from the case now. Alicia and I have been having major disagreements about Troy being involved in Zaria’s life. Since she went to visit her folks, she’s all of a sudden had a change of heart about how she feels about things.

  She was supposed to only be down there for two weeks to visit, but those two weeks turned into a month. Turns out, her ex prior to Troy ended up shooting Troy and his wife; which resulted in his wife dying. When she called me and told me what happened I offered to be there by her side, but she declined my offer. No matter how hard I pleaded she still refused. She said she didn’t want to confuse things. Confuse what? To me it sounded like her ass just didn’t want me around.

  Also around that time I found out what happened to Keith daughter. So since Alicia didn’t want to confuse things, I put in an emergency leave and went to go check up on Keith. Throughout the short time we’ve known one another Keith had become my boy, so me supporting him was important. That visit was intense. To see his baby laid up in hospital all because of her crazy ass mother, not to mention the distance between him and Keisha. I stayed there for three days before I returned back home. Two weeks after that Alicia finally brought her ass back and it’s been heated with us ever since.

  Don’t get me wrong I’m all for a man being in his child’s life, but if he didn’t want to be in it from the beginning, then fuck him. Alicia ain’t trying to hear that though. She claims that the relationship that her and Troy had shouldn’t be taken out on the relationship he should have with Zaria. I honestly think it’s her that wants the relationship with him. I feel that when it comes to Troy she is still weak in some aspects. She still keeps forgetting that I’m the one that signed Zaria birth certificate and gave her my last name. I’m the one that’s been her life before she entered the world and has stayed in it ever since.

  I know I fucked up with not telling Alicia that I was married from the jump, but she gave me the opportunity to make it right, and I did. So now why do I feel like I have to compete for her against Troy? I mean I feel bad for what happened to old boy wife and all, but like I told her, Troy is not your concern anymore.

  There is a knock on my door, which pulled me out of my thoughts.

  “Come in,” I said.

  “Hey I was just coming by to check on you, are you alright?” Dana asked.

  Dana is a solider that recently was placed in my unit almost two months ago. I was her assigned sponsor when she came in. When Alicia told me she was staying down to visit her folks a little longer, I became depressed as shit. Dana noticed something was up and asked me what was wrong. It was then that I told her everything that went down. It felt good to talk to someone who didn’t know the situation personally. Since then we became real cool with each other.

  “Yea, I’m good.” I replied.

  “Well you wanna go get some lunch? You know it’s my turn to treat,” Dana said smiling.

  From time to time we a have lunch together and take turns paying.

  “As much as I wanna spend ya money, I’m not hungry.”

  “Oh come on, you’ve be
en cooped up in here probably having a pity party. Let’s go get some fresh air,” Dana suggested.

  “I’m not having a pity party; I’m just in here thinking that’s all.” I let her know.

  “Well come on, let’s eat and think together then.” She smiled trying to convince me once again.

  I finally decided to take Dana up on her offer and just go to lunch.

  “Fine you win, but I know you probably tired of me talking about my problems.” I said to her as we headed out the door.

  “Nope, I don’t mind. Besides I’m taking notes on what not to do in my next relationship.” Dana laughed as she playfully hit my shoulder.

  As we were heading outside, my phone rung and I saw that it was Alicia calling me. I instantly hit the ignore button. Right now I’m trying to relax and clear my head, and lately she’s been making that hard for me to do.

  CHAPTER 6

  KEISHA

  “Hey girl what’s going with ya?” Alicia asked as she answered the phone.

  Lately we have been talking to one another more times a day than usual since we both have been having a not so happy household.

  “Girl same old same old,” I responded with a loud sigh.

  I was really starting to feel exhausted with me and Keith’s whole situation. I know I fucked up big time, and that’s something that I can’t undo, but damn this is beginning to be too much for me to handle!

  “So Keith is still acting like you don’t exist huh?” Alicia asked.

  “Yup, Jasmine had a play at school yesterday that she was in and he texted me saying he was going to drive his own car and meet us there. I’m telling you Alicia, I’m almost at the point now where I’m about to tell him that he can just fucking leave! I’m so stressed out about this shit that I haven’t even been able to focus on my pregnancy,” I explained.

  It was true; the little energy that I have left from taking care of the girls seems to go on getting my husband to at least talk to me.

  “It’ll be ok Keisha. You know Keith is really just hurt about everything and this is just his way of acting out on it.” Alicia tried to explain.

  No matter how much she tried to rationalize the situation, it still wasn’t right in my eyes.

  “Alicia I get that and I own up to what I have done, but if that’s the case he can just fucking leave. I want nothing more than for my marriage to work, but I can’t fight for it on my own,” I said as I started crying.

  Between these hormones and Keith’s behavior I don’t know whether I’m coming or going anymore.

  “Don’t cry Keisha, if Keith wanted to leave he would have a long time ago, just hold on cousin it’s going to get better. Have you changed your mind about not having a baby shower yet?”

  “Nope, I’m just going to get the things my baby needs and accept gifts from my friends and family if they decide to buy something. I can’t have a baby shower when Keith and I can’t even sit ten minutes in the same room with one another,” I explained.

  “So how’s everything on your end with Shawn?” I asked changing the subject, because talking about me and Keith is too fucking depressing.

  “Well things are still the same here too on my end. Shawn is complaining in my ear about Zaria and Troy again. I just really wish he would just let me handle this and focus on me and him.” Alicia said.

  “I get what you’re saying Alicia, but did you ever stop to think that maybe he’s in your ear about it because it’s Troy? I mean those close to you know y'all’s history, so maybe he’s just worried that you might backslide; not saying you are though!” I told making sure I put emphases on that last part.

  Alicia is more like a sister then a cousin to me, so I will always have her back regardless; but that doesn’t mean I have to always agree with her and vice versa.

  “You know just as well as I do that there will definitely be no going back to Troy. I just want what’s best for Zaria that’s all.”

  “But Zaria doesn’t know Troy Alicia,” I reminded her.

  She’s acting like Zaria is of age and knows who Troy is. I know right now it seems like the pot calling the kettle black considering what I did, but I don’t want Alicia to make the same mistake I did.

  “Troy is still her daddy Keisha!” Alicia said sounding like she was getting irritated, which I didn’t give a damn about.

  “Yeah but Shawn is her father! He signed her birth certificate Alicia; give him some type of lead way!” I told her matching her tone.

  I really hate the fact that lately, it seemed like when it comes to Troy Alicia is always coming at you with excuses.

  “Come on Keisha, the man wife was killed by my ex! I don’t need to be a bitch to him and take Zaria away too.”

  “Alicia, it is very fucked up what happened with that whole situation, but it’s not your fault or concern. Rodney was fucked up in the head while y'all was together and obviously after. Now I get what you’re saying about Troy being in Zaria’s life, believe me I do, but I also know firsthand that if you don’t respect the boundaries in your relationship now that you have with the man you plan on marrying, you’re going to lose him.” I tried to explain.

  Like I said, I didn’t want Alicia to go through what I have been going through all because I wasn’t thinking about Keith. I wouldn’t wish this pain now on my worst enemy.

  “You know what Keisha I gotta go. I’ll holla at you later,” Alicia said and hung up.

  By the way she just got off the phone, I knew she was upset. The confusing part for me is, not knowing if she was mad because she thought I was taking up for Shawn, or the fact that I was telling the truth.

  C HAPTER 7

  TROY

  It’s Friday night and I just stumbled in the house from the club with some chick on my arm. I didn’t feel like being home alone by myself again tonight, so I decided to head to the club and get a few drinks in my system and hopefully somebodies pussy on my dick.

  “Damn baby slow down, we got all night,” The chick said as I was trying to take her clothes off at the door.

  I didn’t even know her name and brought her back to my house, but this had become the norm for me. I know I needed to get myself together, but lately the loneliness was getting the best of me.

  “Nah, we don’t have all night boo. I need to get this nut and then you can bounce,” I told her ass straight up as I was unbuckling my pants.

  I wanted to make sure she knew what time it was once we finish fucking. I didn’t want no strings attached or no overnight guest, I just wanted to blow this chick back out and get me some sleep.

  “Damn you really packing, let me see what you taste like daddy,” She said. She started feeling on my dick, pulled it out and started sucking on it.

  Her mouth felt like a suction machine as she worked her jaws around my dick. Her head game was something serious as she sucked on the head while jacking it up and down. The sensation of her mouth was driving me crazy! I felt myself about to cum and I wasn’t ready to do so. I needed to see what the pussy felt like just in case I wanted to fuck with her again after this.

  “Get up and turn that ass over,” I demanded as I positioned myself to fuck her from the back while I bent her over the couch.

  She stood up, lifted her dress, took her thongs off, hiked her right leg on the arm of the couch and bent over. I had already put the condom on so I dove straight into the pussy. I grabbed a fist full of her weave and started pounded her hard, thrusting fast in and out. She was screaming out loud and I couldn’t tell if it was from pain or pleasure; nor did I care. This was the third chick I brought home from the club to fuck since I lost Cassandra and I needed to release all the frustration and pain I’m feeling.

  After about forty minutes of hard fucking, we both were tired and had released loads of cum together. I didn’t even give her a chance to wash up. I told her it was time for her to go and locked my front door behind her. After she left, I went to take a shower to wash that tricks smell off of me. As I’m letting the water beat on me
, I started thinking about where my life was headed. I lost my wife, my kids are living with other folks, and I’m back to just fucking these hoes out here with no remorse again. Then there was the anger I have against Alicia. I know I shouldn’t be mad at her, but I am. It seems like ever since I started fucking with her ass my shit ain’t been right. I never had an issue with any other lil chick I messed with beforehand. She always made things difficult for me, even when she left town.

  The way she left was already fucked up enough, but to have this nigga Shawn sign my daughter’s birth certificate, as If I don’t exist and act like it’s all good pisses me off even more! Every time she calls me up I wait to see if she’s gonna mention the situation or bring it up, but she never does. I want so badly to tell her ass to stop calling me and fuck off, but I still do care for Alicia. Besides Cassandra, she’s the only woman that I know that I’ll always have feelings for.

  Now as far as this issue with her dude signing our daughter’s birth certificate, I feel like she really crossed the line with that stunt. Alicia never gave me the option to want to even be in Zaria’s life or not, she just took it upon herself to decide it for me. I was starting to feel like she was purposely taking things from me that mattered and causing things to be taken from me as well. I was hurting bad man, and I wanted nothing more right now then for her to feel the pain I was feeling. I think it’s time I stop being nice and understanding and show her the old Troy that she was use to know.

  CHAPTER 8

  KEITH

  I was trying to concentrate on my tasks, but of course that isn’t happening. I know I have been portraying this I don’t give a fuck attitude to Keisha with the pregnancy, but the truth of the matter is I do. I still love my wife to the core which is why I’m still hurting so bad behind her affair. As a man, I feel like I failed her in some type of way which is why she ran into the arms of someone else. Like the way I loved her, took care of her, and fucked her was a joke. I know that things are getting worse with me and her now because the farther along she gets, the more I can’t stand to be around her. I just can’t allow myself to get attached to anticipating a baby coming that might not be mines.