by Angie Hayes
“Mommy no, please get up!” She cried. Alicia immediately grabbed Destiny as I rushed to get Jasmine.
I took her into my arms as I stood there looking down at my wife looking beautiful and peaceful. I took Jasmine and headed to our seats. Once we were all seated, the pastor began his sermon. Although I haven’t been to church in a long time, it felt good to hear my wife’s childhood pastor talk about her and her character. The service seemed like a blur to me. All I kept doing was staring at her casket wondering why she had to be in there. When it was time for the final glance, everyone was coming around getting the final view of my angel and giving their condolences to us.
When Alicia got up to say her final goodbye, she broke down and was falling to the floor in tears. Out of nowhere Shawn came and grabbed her. She fell into his arms as they made their way back to the seat. The same thing happened to Keisha’s mom when it was her time. Her husband had to restrain her from pulling at the casket.
The kids and I were last. Destiny was now lying on Alicia’s lap crying. Jasmine walked up and placed a teddy bear into her mother’s casket, gave her a kiss on the cheek and ran back to her grandparents. I took my shades off and looked down at Keisha. She was still as beautiful as the day I first met her.
“I love you baby, I always will.” I said as I kissed her on her lips.
As I requested with the funeral home while making her arraignments, I then closed her casket. The service ended and we all exited the church to head to the grave burial. It took us all but fifteen minutes to get there. This was the last time I would ever get to tell my baby goodbye. When I saw her casket getting lowered into the ground, that’s when I completely lost it!
“Baby please don’t leave me! Come back!” I yelled as if she could hear me.
I felt Shawn come up to me grabbing my shoulders trying to restrain me.
“It’s gone be ok man.” I heard him repeatedly telling me.
But shit wasn’t ok. My wife was gone. She left me to raise three kids on my own.
C HAPTER 32
TROY
I’m parked outside the strip club sitting in my car waiting for Veronica’s hoe ass to come out. Nasty ass bitch in there slinging that infected ass pussy. I thought to myself as I snorted a line of coke off the middle arm rest. Since Veronica left me that fucked up ass note saying she had Gonorrhea and Herpes, I’ve been fucked up in the head. My job called me in the office to inform me that since I did test positive for substance abuse that they had to let me go. It was the decision of the union. Then Joy had me served with custody papers. My shit was all fucked up and this bitch just made it worse.
I needed something stronger than smoking on weed laced with coke to help me ease my mind, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone and just snort the coke by itself. After I sniffed my line, I leaned my head back on the head rest. I started feeling numb. I heard loud talking and laughter coming from the entrance direction, and when I look up, I see Veronica coming out laughing and talking loud with a few other bitches. I scooted down in my seat so that she wouldn’t see me.
When I saw that she got in her car alone and drove off, I cranked up my car and followed behind her. After about fifteen minutes she turned into her apartment complex. I stayed a couple of cars behind and pulled into the parking lot of the building next to hers. I waited until she got out and went inside her place before I climbed out my car. When I got to the door, I pressed my ear to it to see if I could hear anyone else inside. Once I heard no other voices, I knocked on the door.
“Who is it?” Veronica yelled.
“What’s up its Troy” I answered back in a cool tone.
She was quiet for a little bit, like she was hesitant.
“What do you want Troy?” she finally asked still not opening the door.
“I thought about the last time we talked bae and I think I owe you an apology.” I said sounding sincere.
I hope she brought what I was saying, especially since I called her bae. I need this hoe to open this door. I finally heard the lock being undone, and as soon as she opened the door, I punched her ass dead in the face knocking her to the floor and rushed inside. Veronica was trying to crawl away from me, but I grabbed her back by her legs and kicked her in her side.
“Ouch! Troy stop!” she yelled as I got on top of her.
“You nasty ass bitch! You think you could just tell me you was fucking me with this nasty ass pussy and I wasn’t gone fuck yo' ass up?” I spat into her face as I connected my fist with right eye.
I was so high off of the adrenaline of the coke that I felt the need to punish this hoe some more.
“Hoe you wanna play with my life, now I’m a fuck yours up!” I said in between punches. She was trying to block my blows, but I was steady throwing them back to back too fast. I was beating this bitch like she was nigga in the streets.
“Get yo' ass up!” I shouted as I grabbed her up by her hair and started to drag her ass further into the living room.
She looked like a rag doll as she left a trail of blood behind. When I got her close enough I tossed her on the couch.
“You think it’s a game telling a nigga you gave him STD’s, huh hoe?” I asked as I pounded on her face and chest.
At this point she was barely moving. I looked down at Veronica, and in a flash I saw of Rodney. Next I saw Alicia. It was then that I lost it and started punching her again while screaming and calling her every name in the book. When I was finished I wrapped my hands around her neck and the next thing I heard was a snapping sound. I snapped out of my trance and looked up in time to see her neck twisted in an awkward angle. It was broke. I stood back up, took my dick out and pissed all over the bitch. After I was done, I walked out of her place leaving the door wide open and headed to my car so I could get high again.
CHAPTER 33
KEITH
Three months later…“Jasmine, Destiny I need y’all to make sure you girls pack everything you want to take on the plane with you. Other than that, everything else will be brought when the movers deliver our things.” I said as I taped up a box.
It had been three months since Keisha passed, and the kids and I were moving to Orlando, FL. I had decided that I would retire from active duty and switch over to the Reserves where I would work as a recruiter in Florida. Now that I was a single dad, I couldn’t have a demanding job that would take time away from my kids. At least now I had a 9-5 and could be stable. I couldn’t take being in California anymore without Keisha, because it was a constant reminder of the bad times we had here. Keisha’s parents and Jasmine’s grandmother was happy with my decision to move closer to them so they could be closer to kids, as well as help me out when needed.
We all were taking it one day at a time. Destiny was still a little too young to really understand that she wouldn’t see her momma Keisha anymore. When I told her that Keisha was now in heaven with God, she just simply smiled and said she couldn’t wait until she came back from visiting him. Jasmine on the other hand was still copping with the loss of her mom. At first she would lock herself in her room and cry herself sick. I tried to give her space to grieve because I knew how much she loved her mom and how close they were.
After a while I stepped in because I couldn’t take seeing her like that. I consoled her as much as I could and reminded that her mom was still with us; she was just an Angel now watching over and protecting us. I love Jasmine just like she was birth daughter. With her daddy in prison and her mom gone, I made a vow to her to never leave her side and to be there for her.
“Daddy KJ used the bathroom again. Do you want me to change him?” Jasmine asked standing in front of me with KJ on her hip.
I swear she looks more and more like Keisha every day. I always seemed to smile every time I hear the word daddy come out of her mouth. After the funeral, she asked if she could call me daddy since her mommy loved me so much, and that I treated her like a dad. Not only was I shocked that she asked me that, but I was honored
“Yes please.
I need to finish packing up this box before the movers get here.” I told her.
I had already packed up Keisha’s things with the plan of sending them to her mom. I told her that I felt like she should be the one to decide what it is she wants to do with them. I opened her night stand drawer to clear it out. As I’m going through her things, I noticed that there were two envelopes inside. Both are addressed in Keisha’s handwriting, one to me and the other to Alicia. I took out both Envelopes and sat down on the bed where I opened mines to read.
Keith, I felt like writing you was the best way I could say what it is I need to say without crying. Hopefully it’ll help you listen without getting angry at me. Let me start by saying I love you so much baby. Meeting you was the best thing God could have done for me besides giving me my kids. Before you, I never felt like I was worthy to be loved anymore, but you came into me and Jass’s life and changed my views. You showed me so much love and compassion that I would always wish I had met you first; but then I realize that if I did I wouldn’t have my Jasmine. I am so sorry baby for deceiving our vows. What I did was not your fault! It was all on me and my selfishness. When you told me how I made you doubt yourself as a man, I wanted nothing more than to reach out to you and assure you that wasn’t the case. I did what I did out of stupidity. It was a mistake that I would always regret Keith. Please forgive me baby, because if you don’t then I can’t forgive myself. You are my King away from Kings. Seeing the pain I have caused you was my Karma that I would never forget. I love you baby forever and always,
Keisha
My face was now soaked with tears. Keisha must have written this letter after she tried talking to me, and I blew up on her. I let my pride and stubbornness stand in the way of forgiving my wife. I can’t help but to think that maybe if I would have just tried to make things work out instead of trying to make her suffer, that maybe she would still be here. Instead I caused her stress.
“You ok Daddy?” I turned around and see Jasmine standing in the doorway.
“I’m fine. Where’s your brother and sister?” I asked wiping my face.
“They’re in Destiny room playing on her floor.” Jasmine said as she came and sat down on the edge of the bed next to me. She grabbed my hand and laid her head on my arm.
“I know you’re sad about mommy, I am too, but last night she told me that we’ll be ok. She told me to look after you. She also said that she loves us very much and would always be here.” She said as she tapped my heart.
“Last night?” I asked her confused.
“Yes, last night. Mommy came to my dream and talked to me.”
I just sat there speechless at what Jasmine had just told me. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big hug. When she left out the room, I put my letter back in its envelope and put it in the folder I had with my important documents. Jasmine had just given me confirmation that Keisha was indeed our Angel. I just wish she was still here to know that I had already forgiven her.
When I got back the test results of KJ that day in the hospital, it read that I was not the father. I tore the results up and went to name our son before I signed his birth certificate. Regardless of what any test said, KJ was mines because he was a part of Keisha. I knew that with seeing her laying there, that life was too short. I felt in my heart we could have gotten through it, for better or for worse. I went back to packing up our things so my kids and I could start our new life. I love you Keisha, forever and always.
CHAPTER 34
TROY
I was sitting in my cell waiting to be transported to the prison that would be my new home. I pleaded guilty a week ago in court to second degree murder. That night I went over to Veronica’s place, I beat her up and snapped her neck. Afterwards I got back into my car and started to get high right away. I ended up passed out from the coke and woke up with the police having their guns drawn in my face. I sat confused as they yelled for me to get out of the car with my hands up. I was so fucked up I didn’t even realize I still had Veronica’s blood all over my hands and clothes.
By the time I was booked into the county, I was coming down off my high and trying to wrap my head around what was happening. I had learned that someone in her complex called the police when they heard the yelling and commotion coming from her apartment. The police must have showed up right after I left. Someone said they saw me all bloodied up leaving her place and heading to the parking lot. When the police checked the parking lot, that’s when they found me passed out in my car.
When I was fully comprehensive again, I informed the cops that I wanted a lawyer. After I was set up with a public defender, I told him the reason I killed Veronica was because she had told me she purposely infected me with two STD’s. He then told me that he would try to try my case as a crime of passion. In the meantime, I was locked up and going through withdrawal from the coke.
The public defender kept coming to visit me and trying to convince me to just take a plea deal with the district attorney. At first I kept refusing to take the plea deal, but as time went on, I started thinking about having to relive my fucked up life in front of folks and possibly my kids in a courtroom. I told him to just tell them that I would plead guilty to second degree murder. I couldn’t spare going through a trial and having people knowing any and every thing about me.
Now here I am.
I look back on my life and realize everything I had, I lost. I had the life that a lot of people wanted to live with the marriage, home, kids, and a good job. Yet that wasn’t enough for me. I had to have more, and I went out and got it by any means necessary. I didn’t give a fuck who I hurt in the process, as long as I got mines. You would think I would have learned my lesson after the incident with Cassandra, but I just got worse.
By me being in jail, Joy ended up winning full custody of my kids. It was nothing I could do from them in here anyway. I did start writing them letters but they would always come back to me as return to sender. Hopefully in due time, Cassandra’s sister will forgive me and let me be a part of my kids’ lives. I also wrote Keith and apologized to him as well for not being there for him.
When I found out he lost Keisha, all I did was send my condolences and left it like that. I didn’t go to her funeral, nor did I call to check up on him. Once again I left my brother hanging. He told me that he forgave me and to keep my head up. He had been putting money on my books once a month ever since.
Then there was Alicia. I never spoke to her again since we were in California. I held animosity against her for the loss of Cassandra, and I never took responsibility for my own actions. Alicia was never to blame, it was me and my selfish ass ways that caused me to lose everything I had. I had taken so much from Alicia and Cassandra that when they didn’t have any more to give; I still managed to find a way to take just a little bit more. So I just decided that the best thing to do is just leave Alicia alone and let her and Shawn be happy and give Zaria a life I could never give her.
“Inmate on your feet, we heading out” The guard said as he stood in front of my cell.
I stepped back as the C.O stepped inside and put the shackles on me so I could be transported to my home for the next twenty five years. When I was handed my sentence, I accepted my fate. Karma had finally made her last presence in my life and I would go out like a man accepting this bitch.
CHAPTER 35
SHAWN
“Alright man, I’ll see you in the morning.” I said to Keith as I gave him dap and headed into my hotel room.
We were all in Florida for me and Alicia wedding! That’s right, ya boy got his family back and we are finally making it official! After the incident with Dana at the bar that night, she just wouldn’t let up! She got crazier and started texting me and leaving threating messages if I wouldn’t talk to her. I knew she was gonna keep coming at me, so I decided to make sure I covered my ass on my end.
First I went and got a restraining order on her by showing the threating messages. Then I went to my commander and let him know how she bec
ame obsessed with me and wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to be completely honest with him and tell him about my one time drunk session with Dana which resulted in us having sex I couldn’t remember anything about. I even let him know how she took pictures while I was passed out and sent my fiancée. I showed him my restraining order and the messages as well. I was disciplined for my actions of sleeping with one of my soldiers, but still maintained my rank due to this being my first time ever getting in any trouble in my military career. When he confronted her and let her know that she was being disciplined, she flipped out on him and began cursing him out and throwing things around in his office. After that, instead of him writing her up, she was discharged all together.
Even though she kept screaming we had sex to other soldiers trying to make me look bad, no one believed her based on her behavior. They thought she was just another young soldier trying to up her rank by bringing down higher authority. I later heard from one of her friends she attended training with that Dana went back to Alabama and was attending community college there.
At that time, Alicia and I still weren’t talking. When Keith called me with the news of Keisha passing and the funeral details, I assured him that I would be there. I arrived there the day before the funeral and checked into a hotel. Alicia didn’t know I was there until I grabbed her when she fell to the floor while viewing Keisha’s body at her casket. When she looked up and noticed that it was me, she fell into my arms with the comfort of knowing I was there.
I stayed around for the rest of that week with her helping her cope through the loss of her cousin. Seeing Alicia hurt like that brought me to the realization that she had had enough. I could see that she was breaking and the fact that I knew I had played a part in that was more than enough for me to do whatever I had to do to get her back. I continued to let Alicia grieve with the assurance that I would be right here for her. It wasn’t until we both got back home when we finally spoke about us.