The Game of Denial

by Brenda Adcock

  "What genius idea is that? If it involves more work I'm against it," she said.

  "Thought we might get everyone out of here for a little fun tonight."

  "Such as?"

  "There's a dance at Mo's tonight with a live band. Dancing's not really work."

  "I don't know, Beth."

  "Even Tully said he wouldn't mind going."

  "Really?"

  "Yep. Ralph said he'd babysit Tucker's kids for a few hours. Maybe Millie and Harlan can join us. Ray's here to see Tully. He's a really good dancer so I'll invite him. Come on, Mom. You haven't been out anywhere in years."

  "I don't know that the Carmichaels would be very thrilled about spending an evening in a beer joint slash dance hall."

  "So far I've asked everyone but you and Ms. Carmichael. Thought I'd let you do that."

  "Thanks a heap, kid." Evey grunted as she sat up. She looked at her daughter. "Meg agreed to go?"

  "Yeah. We're boring them to death with all this healthy living and solitude."

  "I'll ask her, but if she says no then I will watch the kids and give Ralph a break."

  Beth thumped Evey on the back soundly, making her wince. "Thanks Mom."

  "Hey! They know it's country-western, right?"

  Beth shrugged. "What else would we have out here?"

  "I CANNOT BELIEVE they talked Meg into this," Joan said to Charmaine as they followed the small herd of people into the building with Mo's Barn painted in white on the red roof. The parking lot was filling up fast when they arrived a little before nine that evening.

  "I can't believe they talked you into it," Charmaine said. "Maybe Meg is developing a case of the hots for civilization," she added as she entered the building and let her hips pick up the beat of the music filling the room.

  Beth followed Tully to two empty tables. They moved the chairs and pushed the tables together to make room for everyone. Despite that, it was still a close fit. As soon as they were all seated, a young woman wearing Daisy Dukes and a short-sleeved plaid shirt tied into a knot above her navel, revealing a wide expanse of skin, stopped at the tables. Her hair was plaited into a long single braid down her back.

  "Hey, Tully. Miz Chase. Brad. Beth. Long time, no see. Beers all around?"

  Joan was amused at the way the young woman looked at Tully and occasionally found a way to touch his arm or shoulder. Beth scanned the table to make sure no one wanted anything different before nodding to the woman. Joan leaned back slightly in her chair as the girl sashayed to the bar. While she appreciated the view, she was trying to figure out how the girl had managed to wiggle her ass into the tight shorts.

  "I don't know how Jeanine breathes in those shorts," Evey said as if reading Joan's mind. "But the men certainly seem to appreciate her efforts."

  "It's a miracle of modern fabric, I suppose," Joan said.

  Jeanine set a tray of frosted mugs on the table and passed them out. She stopped when she reached Meg and smiled. "I'll need to see an ID, sweetie," she said.

  Meg pulled her wallet from her jeans and took her driver's license out, handing it to Jeanine. The waitress examined it carefully before handing it back. "Just barely made it, huh?"

  Joan caught Meg's eye and winked at her. At home, Meg was allowed to drink and always had been, but as far as Joan knew this was the first time she had ordered an alcoholic beverage in public.

  They had just settled in when a pair of arms wrapped around Evey's neck and hugged her. At the same time Joan saw an attractive young man run a hand over Tully's shoulder as he leaned down to speak. Tully's face darkened and he sharply shrugged the hand off his shoulder. Evey scooted her chair back and stood to embrace the woman behind her. She also hugged an older man who accompanied the woman before turning to Joan. Instinctively, Joan stood.

  "Joan, these are my friends, Millie and Harlan Grisham. They own the farm next to ours." She pointed to the young man who was now speaking to Meg. "And that is their son, Ray. He and Tully have been best friends since they were toddlers." Evey looked back at Millie. "When did Ray get home?"

  "Yesterday afternoon. First person he wanted to see was Tully." Millie turned her attention to Joan. "Is that your daughter Ray is talking to? She's a cute one."

  Joan nodded. "Thank you. That's Megan."

  Millie elbowed Evey. "Guess we'll have to keep our eyes on the boys."

  "Millie, this is Fran's mother, Joan Carmichael," Evey said.

  Millie pumped Joan's arm vigorously. "Pleased to finally meetcha," she said. "Frannie's a wonderful young woman. We all just love her to death."

  Joan managed to extract her hand from Millie's. "Thank you again," she said before Millie and her husband wandered away to locate seats. Evey returned to her chair and leaned toward Joan. "Ray's been away at college and came home for the wedding. I'm surprised he didn't come to the house."

  A few minutes later the band was tuned up and ready to play. When the first twangs of a country-western song began, Joan saw Meg slap herself in the face. Apparently no one had warned Meg about the type of music she could expect at Mo's Barn. However, it wasn't long before Tully pulled Meg onto the saw-dust dance floor and showed her how to two-step. A tap on Joan's shoulder drew her attention.

  "Since you wouldn't let me bring Giancarlo, you'll be forced to be my dance partner tonight," Charmaine said. When Joan hesitated, Charmaine huffed, "You're my mother, for God's sake. Hell, I'll even let you lead. Just don't get fresh with me, woman."

  Joan followed Charmaine, took her lightly in her arms, and stepped off to the slower secondary beat of the music. Halfway through the song, Charmaine grinned. "I know you can do better than this, Mom."

  "Is that a dare?"

  "You bet your ass. Let's show them what us city slickers can do. Yee-haw!"

  Joan laughed and increased the pace of the dance into faster and more intricate steps as she moved to the pounding primary beat, spinning Charmaine around the floor and between slower couples. By the time the music temporarily ended, Joan was a little out of breath. "I haven't done that in years," she said.

  She picked up her beer mug as soon as she sat down. While she drank she saw Evey staring at her.

  "You're a really good dancer," Evey said.

  "I'm amazed I remembered all of that," Joan said after she swallowed. "Surprised?"

  "A little."

  "Dance lessons were Martine's idea after I stepped on her toes one too many times."

  "I'M NEXT," FRAN announced, bouncing eagerly on the balls of her feet.

  Joan groaned as she set her glass down, but smiled. "Is this let's keep Mom occupied night?" she asked as Fran pulled her off her chair.

  Thankfully Fran had chosen a song with a much slower pace. With anyone other than her daughter, Joan would have considered it romantic. As they moved around the floor, she glimpsed toward their table. Evey was watching them. Joan would have enjoyed the slow dance with Evey in her arms, but dancing with your daughter and an attractive woman who happened to be her future son-inlaw's mother were two totally different things.

  "Mom?" Fran said.

  "Yes, baby."

  "You like Brad's family, don't you?"

  "They seem very nice. I hope having all of us here isn't running them ragged." Joan looked over Fran's shoulder and saw Meg dancing with Ray Grisham. She wasn't as experienced a dancer as her older sisters, but seemed to be enjoying herself. Partway through the dance she saw another young man tap Ray on the shoulder to break in to the dance. Ray patted him on the shoulder and rejoined his parents at their table. Joan frowned as the young man slid his hand down Meg's back to her butt and pulled her hips tightly against his. Meg reached back and moved his hand, stepping away from him slightly to create space between them. Despite that, he continued attempting to force Meg closer to him.

  Joan sat heavily in her chair and welcomed the respite from the dance floor. So far she had danced with all of her daughters, her son, and her daughter-in-law. She was grateful that her daily runs kept her legs i
n shape. Otherwise they would feel like limp spaghetti. She chatted with Evey for a few minutes and caught her breath.

  "Excuse me, Mrs. Carmichael," a voice said. Joan looked up and saw Beth's face. The young woman looked around and appeared nervous. "Would you care to dance?" Beth finally asked.

  Another dance was the last thing Joan wanted at that moment, but she managed a smile and pushed her chair back.

  "You don't have to," Evey whispered.

  "It's okay," Joan said as she took the hand Beth offered.

  When they reached the dance floor Beth said in a low voice, "I usually lead. I suck at following."

  Joan smiled at the young woman. "Whatever's most comfortable for you," she said.

  Halfway through the dance Joan asked, "Do your mother and brothers know?"

  "No one knows," Beth answered.

  "I do," Joan said. Then as if she were reading Beth's mind, she added, "I won't tell."

  Beth smiled. "Thanks." As almost an afterthought, she added, "I like Fran a lot." She saw the look on Joan's face. "She's been like a sister to me and Brad's a lucky guy."

  When the dance ended, Joan sat down again, but saw Beth and Tully having words at the far end of the table. Finally Beth laughed and pulled Tully up to force him to dance with his sister.

  Joan continued to watch the interaction between Meg and the young man who had been intent on groping her earlier. The young man was attractive in a rough sort of way and apparently knew it. He had pulled a chair over to their table and wedged himself into a small space next to Meg. All of her children were hers and Martine's, but she had given birth to Meg and even though the girl had been a pain in her ass as a teenager, Joan would defend and protect her. So far Joan wasn't liking what seemed to be developing at the far end of the table.

  Joan was finishing her second beer of the evening when Charmaine squatted down next to her. Joan smiled at her and rested a hand on the back of her daughter's neck.

  "Are you watching Meg?" Charmaine asked in a low voice.

  "Yep," Joan answered, looking around.

  "Just checking. Tucker's watching, too."

  "Kind of a sticky wicket. Think Meg can handle it?"

  "Guess we'll see."

  "I don't want to step in unless she asks me to. How much has she had to drink?"

  "One beer and not even all of that. It's not her favorite drink. But Tully and that other guy have been slamming them down pretty quickly."

  "Okay."

  Charmaine returned to her seat after stopping and whispering something to Tucker.

  "Are you enjoying yourself?" Evey asked, dragging Joan's attention from the mini-drama involving Meg.

  "So far, so good," Joan answered.

  "You seem distracted. Is everything all right?"

  "Just observing people. It's a hobby of mine."

  A few minutes later, Evey excused herself and threaded her way toward the restroom. Joan's eyes followed her and admired the way Evey's body moved inside her jeans. She took a long drink of her beer to cool her thoughts as she returned her attention to Meg and the conversations around her.

  EVEY STOOD IN the relatively short line for the women's restroom and leaned back against the wall.

  "Havin' a good time?" Millie asked as she stepped into line next to Evey.

  "I'm just a little tired is all," Evey answered. "I'm getting too damn old to work from dawn to dusk and then party the evening away. I can't believe I ever did that."

  "How are things goin' at the house?"

  "Nothing new there either. Just more mouths to feed. Joan's girls have been very helpful, especially Giselle, her daughter-inlaw. She loves to cook."

  Millie lowered her voice. "And what about, you know, her, the queer one?"

  "What?" Evey asked, stunned by Millie's question.

  "Everyone's curious about what she's like," Millie went on.

  "She's just like you and me, Millie," Evey said. "She's a normal woman with four normal children."

  "There's nothing normal about a woman like her," Millie huffed. "I know Beth's tryin' to be nice and all, but she didn't need to dance with the woman."

  "Beth's a grown woman. I don't make decisions for her anymore." Evey pushed away from the wall and glared at her friend. When the next restroom visitor exited, Evey shoved the door open and disappeared inside.

  JOAN'S EYES FOLLOWED Meg as she accompanied the young stranger to the dance floor. She stood and walked around the table to where Charmaine was seated and tapped her on the shoulder. Charmaine looked around and saw Meg, then stood and followed her mother onto the wooden floor lightly sprinkled with fresh sawdust. Joan piloted them around the floor, always staying within range of Meg. She was shocked when she saw the man pull Meg closer and kiss her. Meg pushed him away and soundly slapped him. She saw the anger that flooded his face as he reached out and roughly grabbed Meg's arm. Within two steps Joan was next to him with Tucker and Charmaine close behind.

  "Let go of her arm, son," Joan said calmly.

  "It's all right, Mom. I can handle it," Meg said.

  "Looks like he's doing all the handling." Joan moved to stand in front of him. "I've been watching you paw my daughter most of the evening. I don't like it."

  It was obvious the man had reached his beer limit and was perhaps one over. He glared at Meg. "It was just a kiss," he said. He stuck his face in Meg's. "Or, are you a big bad dyke like your Mama?"

  Joan heard Charmaine sigh and mumble, "Shouldn't have said that, Billy Bob."

  "This little tease has been leadin' me on since she arrived," he said, jutting his chin closer as he jabbed his finger into Joan's chest.

  "Knock it off, Chad," Tully hissed as he grabbed the man's arm and tried to pull him away. "You win, okay?"

  "Win what?" Joan asked.

  Chad grinned stupidly, puffing his chest out. "I kissed her first."

  Evey, who had joined the small knot of people, grabbed Tully's arm and jerked him around to face her. "What the hell is he talking about, Tully?" When her son hesitated, she punched him soundly on the arm. "Answer me!"

  Tully shrugged, but couldn't look his mother in the face. "It was only a stupid bet, Mom."

  Joan reached out and took Evey by the arm to calm her down. Tully slapped Joan's hand away. "Don't touch my mother, ya perv!" he said angrily. "She's not like you! She's a real woman!"

  Meg lunged forward, but Joan stopped her. "That's enough, Meg. It's an argument that can't be won and certainly not in the middle of a dance floor in Podunk, Virginia."

  Meg looked up at her mother. Joan smiled and said, "You have to learn to pick your battles, sweetheart. This one's a loser."

  Tully turned away, mumbling "˜dyke' under his breath. Evey reached out to stop him, but Joan stopped her. "There are some concepts that are difficult for young people to understand, especially when it challenges who they are."

  Joan wrapped her arm around Meg and looked at her family now surrounding them protectively. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm about ready for a good night's rest."

  "I'm so sorry, Joan," Evey said.

  "No apologies necessary," Joan said as they returned to their table to retrieve their things. Joan dropped two twenties on the table and felt like a mother duck leading a trail of ducklings as they made their way out of the bar.

  Chapter Seven

  JOAN WAS SILENT Sunday morning at breakfast. Fran cleared the table while everyone left to get dressed for church. "Leave those, Fran," Joan said. "I'll clean up after you leave."

  "Not going to church, I suppose."

  Joan looked at her and smiled. "You already know the answer to that, sweetie." Joan wasn't sure she would ever reconcile with the church that considered her a sinner of the worst kind. She had agreed to bring the children up in Martine's faith, but the "donation" the church had virtually demanded for allowing the mass at Martine's funeral still galled her. To alleviate her feelings toward the church Joan invented a scenario in which Martine was now flitting among th
e other angels in Heaven, using her seductive talents to turn them all into happy little gay angels. She smiled at the thought even now.

  "Evey and Ralph will be home soon anyway. They always attend the early service," Fran said. She leaned against the counter and dried her hands. "There's a question I need to ask you, Mom."

  "As long as it's not about going to church," Joan said, taking a gulp of her coffee.

  Fran returned to the table and sat. She took Joan's hand and held it between hers. "Would you walk me down the aisle? Give me away?"

  "I assumed your Uncle Ron would have that honor." Joan felt her throat beginning to constrict and cleared it.

  "Uncle Ron is not the parent who raised me and taught me everything I know about life. You and Mama did that. Since she can't be here I want the parent closest to me to escort me down that aisle or garden path or whatever you want to call it."

  Joan pulled Fran into her arms and held her tightly. "I would be honored, sweetheart."

  "Will you wear your tuxedo? You look so elegant in it."

  "We might have to tie Meme into her chair and put a gag in her mouth." She smiled at Fran and held her face in her hands. "I didn't bring the tuxedo and haven't worn it in years. Not since..."

  Fran bit her lower lip. "I asked Charmaine to pack it, but you don't have to wear it if it brings back bad memories."

  Joan smiled again. "It will be perfect. It will only bring back wonderful memories of your Mama. Now I can add another happy memory."

  Fran wrapped her arms around Joan and kissed her on the lips. "Thank you, Mom. Now everything will be exactly the way I want it."

  "I'm glad." Joan glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. "You'd better get dressed so you don't keep them all waiting. I'm sure Charmaine is chomping at the bit to go to confession. It's probably the first time in years that she won't embarrass the priest with lascivious tales of lust."