She didn’t seem to hear him and tried to move closer, to kiss him again. He gripped her wrists and yanked her back.
‘Stop it, Tress.’
He held her away but she continued to struggle. He worried if she fought any harder he might hurt her.
‘Shit, stop!’ he said with more force.
She quit fighting suddenly, seemed to shrivel in on herself. Paling, she took a step back, and then heat hit her neck, moved up to deepen every bit of exposed golden skin.
What the hell was going on with her?
She shook slightly but he kept his hands to himself, afraid of what might happen if he touched her again.
‘What the fuck’s going on, Tress?’
‘Nothing…I…I’m…I don’t know. I’m sorry.’
‘Talk to me.’
She stood frozen, not meeting his eyes. ‘I ah…I’m going to sit with Sawyer, make sure he’s okay.’
She headed for the bedroom.
‘Fuck…Tressa, wait.’
She ignored him, racing from the room and shutting the door behind her. As much as he wanted to go after her, he let her go. There was no other choice, not one where he wouldn’t end up a sad pathetic mess at the end of it.
Grabbing the spare pillow and quilt from the cupboard he threw them on the couch and got comfortable. She wasn’t coming back out, not tonight. He’d made sure of that when he lost control. Jesus, he’d been so close, so close to shoving her against the wall, stripping her and fucking her. Releasing all that built up longing and pain. Forcing her to see what she’d done to him, what she’d left behind.
But what would be the point? Right now she was grateful for his help, confused. And he’d be stupid to go back there, certifiable. No this was for the best. Keeping his distance and leaving whatever shit was going on between her and her mother for the pair of them to sort out. He sure as fuck wouldn’t be her shoulder to cry on.
He lay back on the couch and forced his mind to shut the hell up. Forced the memories back where they belonged.
Buried in the past.
Gabe woke with the sun burning the backs of his eyelids. He’d forgotten to pull the curtains. He scrubbed his eyes with his palms and sat up, groaning when his side pinched. The couch was too damn small and he’d slept like shit.
The sound of Tressa murmuring in the bedroom was the next thing he became aware of. He still had on his jeans, so yanked on his shirt, and went to make them both a cup of coffee. Her voice was low soothing and though it wasn’t directed at him, it eased his frayed nerves. Sawyer was a lucky kid. Tressa was devoted to her son, loved him with everything she had.
He was adding milk to the mugs when the soft cadence of her voice changed, became louder, until she sounded almost frantic. Instinct took over and he was outside the bedroom before he remembered moving and burst through the door.
Tressa looked up at him, eyes round and terrified. Sawyer was in her arms, his little body shaking so violently she struggled to hold him.
‘What’s happening…what’s wrong with him?’
Sawyer’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, followed by baby growls that sounded raw and painful against his throat.
‘Help me. Please, help me.’ The fear on her face distorted her features until she was almost unrecognisable.
Sawyer’s scent become stronger, filled the room, and hit Gabe in the gut. He stared at Tressa, nausea hitting him thick and fast.
‘He’s shifting, Tressa.’
‘No. This isn’t how it happens. I’ve seen cubs change for the first time. It’s not like this, not this violent…’ she choked on a sob and aimed those pleading, deceitful eyes on him.
‘For hybrids it is,’ he growled.
She paled, looking as ill as he felt. She stared down at her son and stroked his face, whispered soothing words. Then his body stiffened. The sound of popping joints and tearing flesh filled the small bedroom and Tressa held on, holding him close until his body, his skin transformed, turning to pale golden fur.
Sawyer whimpered then lifted his head, looking past his mother’s arms. His face was concealed, except for those big blue eyes blinking up at him. He had wolf’s ears, tall and pointed. His tail was long and smooth all the way down to the short tuft of fur at the tip. That tail did not belong on a wolf, and when he lifted his head and Gabe got a look at his small face, he saw his stubby snout, shorter and broader than a wolf.
Sawyer was the perfect blend of wolf and lion.
He looked exactly like Gabe in shifted form, from the tips of his ears to the tip of his golden tail.
Gabe turned around and shoved back through the door because right then he was afraid of what he might do to Tressa. He wanted to wrap his hands around her treacherous throat and squeeze the life out of her. He wanted to demand she explain what the hell was going on, but he knew. He only had to look into Sawyers pale blue eyes—his eyes.
Sawyer was his son.
He spun around when he heard her coming after him. She was biting on her bottom lip again, eyes wide and panicked.
‘Don’t.’ He gritted his teeth, sucked in several steadying breaths before he lost his shit completely. ‘Do not say a fucking word.’
Sawyer squirmed in his mother’s arms and she carefully placed him on the ground. He was unsteady in his new body and swayed and wobbled. His paws were too big for the rest of him still, which would change as he grew. He tumbled over several times making small growls and yaps while he got used to walking on four legs.
He came over to Gabe and sat, looking up. Those big, baby blues aimed right at him, and he forced down his anger. This wasn’t Sawyer’s fault, and right now, he had to be scared as hell. Smiling at the kid—his kid, his son—he crouched down. Sawyer pawed at the carpet and whined.
‘I know, kiddo. It takes some getting used to.’
He ran his hand over his baby soft fur and scratched behind his ears. His son purred and Gabe scooped him up, wanting to comfort him.
‘Were you ever going to tell me?’
He didn’t look up, couldn’t look at her even if he wanted to, and kept his voice as even as he could.
‘Were you ever going to tell me I had a son?’
‘Yes,’ she rasped. ‘But I had to wait for the right time.’
‘When did you find out you were pregnant?’
‘The day before I ended it between us…’
Jesus.
He looked up. ‘That would have been the right time, Tressa.’
She flinched and a single tear streaked down her smooth cheek. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, eyes moving between him and her son…their son. ‘I wanted to…’
‘No more lies, Tressa. Give me the damn truth for once in your life.’
He said it as calmly as he could, but Sawyer stiffened in his arms. Shit.
‘It’s okay, little man. I’m not going to hurt your mama.’
Gabe stroked his fur until he relaxed again and his eyes grew heavy. He huffed out a small breath then rested his head in the crook Gabe’s arm, close to sleep, exhausted from his first shift.
‘Will you sit down, Gabe? Will you let me explain? When I’m finished you can decide what you want to do, but please let me tell you my side before you judge me too harshly.’
Her hands trembled at her sides, her back stiff and straight. He was getting the truth, finally, and it was about damn time.
All he wanted to do was pace, climb the fucking walls, but he settled on the sofa. Sawyer was still in his arms, now sleeping soundly. Shifting took a lot out of cubs and they spent the majority of their time asleep when they weren’t playing or eating.
He kept is eyes on the small, warm bundle in his arms.
‘Go ahead. I’m all ears.’ He growled softly, ran his finger along the smooth edge of Sawyer’s pointed ears. ‘A bit like my son.’
Tressa didn’t sit. She crossed her arms, protecting herself, her body so tense she’d have sore muscles for days afterwards.
‘I’d always planned
to…to come back to you, but I had to be careful. My father kept tabs on me, even when I was in Harlow. He’s done that my whole life. He…’ She straightened her shoulders, and he could almost see her drawing strength from somewhere deep inside. ‘…he was a cruel, violent man. I was terrified of him most of the time.’
Jesus. Gabe felt nauseous. All the time he’d been seeing her, fuck, her whole damn life, she’d been suffering at the hands of some asshole, and he hadn’t had a clue.
Her fists clenched at her sides.
‘The bastard wouldn’t speak to me after he sent me away, but still he knew my every move. I was stuck…then he passed away and I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my chance. I started saving money…a little here and there. Small amounts, nothing that Dan would notice.’
She planned on coming back to him? A million questions filled his mind, but he kept his mouth shut. She wanted him to hear her out, and he would. The Q and A portion would come afterwards. He’d make sure of it.
She paced around in front of him.
‘I knew Sawyer was close to shifting and when he did the truth would came out.’ Her eyes flicked to his. ‘My father knew of course, but he didn’t care about that, what might happen to my son…our son, when it was found out. By the time Sawyer was old enough to change, it wouldn’t matter, not to him. I’d be mated and far enough away I wouldn’t cause him shame.’
What the fuck was she saying?
She stared out the window, no longer with him, somewhere else. Somewhere ugly. ‘Then Dan died and I knew I had to make a move, and soon. I took my chance. I stole Colt’s car and ran. Lance, his pack, they didn’t know Sawyer wasn’t Dan’s. That was part of the agreement my father made with him.’ She shook her head. ‘But I couldn’t tell them the truth, risk them finding out my baby was a hybrid. They’d kill him.’
She looked up again, pleading with her eyes for him to understand.
‘That’s why I was coming to you, so he had protection, someone else to look out for him…if they found me…if I wasn’t around for him anymore.’
He couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer. ‘Dan knew you were having another man’s cub?’ His voice was raw, no more than a growl. ‘How did he feel about that?’
There it was again, that look of pain. ‘He was paid well to put up with it.’
‘You did too, right? He made you pay for it over and over again with his fists?’ He settled Sawyer on the couch and stood, unable to sit still another minute.
‘It was a price I was willing to pay,’ she whispered.
Her words were a fucking knife to the heart. He didn’t think she could hurt him anymore, thought she’d taken his heart with her when she went away. He’d been wrong. ‘You were that desperate to get away from me? I disgusted you that much that you’d rather live with an abusive asshole than stay with me?’ He chuckled, the sound dark, bitter. ‘You’re a fucking good actress, I’ll grant you that. Or is that what turned you on, the danger of getting caught with a filthy hybrid in your bed?’
She was biting her lip again, but she came to him, and fuck, he couldn’t move away. ‘No.’ She held his gaze and her heart shone from her dark, beautiful eyes.
‘I loved you, Gabe. With all my heart. I thought I’d die after I left you that day, but I had no choice. None. I loved you enough to let you go.’
‘That’s bullshit.’
Rage swamped him, tore through his blood stream. He crowded her, backed her up until her back met the wall. He didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to believe her, not again, not when he wanted her so badly.
‘All you had to do was tell me and none of this would have happened.’ He pressed into her, hands on the wall either side of her head, caging her, trapping her with his body.
‘Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? Why did you keep this from me? Things could have been so different, Tress, so damn different.’
He wrapped his hands around her upper arms, the grip bruising, but he couldn’t stop, too angry, too afraid to back up, to let go.
She didn’t fight him and met his furious gaze.
‘Yes, it would have been different. You and Sawyer would both be dead.’
Chapter 7
Gabe’s fingers flexed involuntarily around her upper arms.
‘What are you talking about?’
Her gaze didn’t falter. ‘I’d done a pregnancy test that morning, and I hid it, waiting for him to leave the house so I could go to you, tell you I was carrying your cub. I was happy, really happy.’
She shook her head. ‘I mean, I was scared. I knew my father would be furious, but I stupidly thought he’d be so angry, he’d kick me out and I’d finally be free of him.’
She returned his tight grip, nails digging into his forearms.
‘We could finally be together.’
‘What happened?’ He kept his voice even when all he wanted to do was roar his frustration.
‘He found the test before I had a chance to tell him, before I had a chance to go to you.’
She swallowed hard. ‘He knew you were the father of my baby. He was a bastard, my father, full of anger and hate. The idea that I would accept a mate who wasn’t a pure blood wolf wasn’t something he would allow. Ever.’
A tear streaked down her cheek and she dashed it away. ‘So no, he didn’t throw me out like I’d hoped. He threatened a forced abortion or to send Sawyer to one of the hybrid camps. And I knew, I knew how much you’d suffered at those camps. I couldn’t do that to our cub. He needed me.’
The pain of her words spread from his chest, hitting every nerve ending until he felt it in every limb, shit, even the surface of his skin ached. He leaned in, ran his nose along the column of her throat, taking in her scent, offering his support and encouragement, his comfort. Taking it in return.
‘Go on, Tressa. Tell me the rest. I deserve to know.’
‘He locked me in my room that night. There was no way for me to get out without smashing the windows. He had guards watching our cabin. I was stuck. He came to me the next morning. Told me he’d found me a mate, a male willing to take me in my disgraced state. He thought when Sawyer shifted for the first time, my new pack would either put him to death or send him away. He didn’t care what happened to either of us, as long as he saved face, as long as he retained his respected place in the pack.’
She squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds and he felt her pain. ‘He sent me to end things with you. He said he’d kill you if I didn’t. I didn’t doubt him, how could I?’
She flinched, like she could see it playing in her head. ‘So I did it, I did what he asked…for you…for our unborn cub. I…I…’
A sob broke past her full lips, swollen from biting at them.
He didn’t know what to say, couldn’t speak, the lump in his throat made sure of that. He felt numb, the emotions coursing through him too strong to process all at once. Loosening his grip on her, he eased her in close, wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried. Cried enough tears for both of them.
‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,’ she whispered against his throat. ‘I didn’t know what else to do…I…I…’
‘You never wanted to leave?’ He held her close, tight enough to bruise, afraid to let her go again. ‘You never wanted to leave me?’
She stilled in his arms and looked up at him, shook her head. ‘No. I never wanted to leave you. You were everything to me.’
He couldn’t think, didn’t want to do anything but feel, hold the female in his arms and lose himself.
Her hands rested on his shoulders, moving up to the sides of his throat. He sucked in a shuddery breath, close to losing his goddamn mind. Rage over what had happened to her, to them, fought with the relief he felt at having her back.
‘Why didn’t you contact me over the last four years?’
‘I was afraid. I knew you’d come for us. The Harlow pack follows their own rules. If they’d caught you, they would have killed you.’
She’d tried
to protect him. The beast in him fucking hated it. That was his job. He was supposed to protect her, not the other way around.
‘I’m a Guardian now, Tressa. Shit…if you’d only trusted me. If you told me the truth sooner.’ He sounded pissed, he knew he did. He didn’t want to make her feel worse, but they’d been cheated. All three of them. Cheated out of four years together. He’d missed his son being born. His son had missed having his father around…and another male had claimed Tressa, had claimed his female.
The scar Dan had given her, peeking out from the neck of her shirt, should have been made by him. Instead some other male had stolen that right, had marked her.
He tried to pull away from her, rage and lust firing his blood. He wanted her too badly, he’d hurt her if took her now.
He needed a minute to get his shit together. But she wouldn’t let him go, and he didn’t have the strength to push her away.
She cupped his face, tears dampening her cheeks. ‘I’m so sorry. I should have trusted you. What do you want? It’s yours. I’ll give you anything. Please, just don’t hate me. I couldn’t bear it…I couldn’t bear it.’
The animal inside clawed to the surface, desperate to get close to the female in front of him. His female. The beast hated that she was sad, wanted to fix it, make her better. Her scent surrounded him, overwhelmed him, and the grip he had on his control crumpled.
He lost it.
Lifting her, he spun around, taking her through the open door to the bedroom and pushed her up against the wall.
‘I need inside you, Tressa, need to fuck you, hard. Have to make you forget any other male laid his fucking hands on you.’ Thighs spread, wrapped around his waist, he ground his cock against her, showing her how much he craved her. Her lids drifted shut, but he cupped her jaw.
‘Look at me.’
Her eyes blinked open, glazed, her need front and centre. He had to make her understand, hoped like fuck she could see it in his eyes, because right then he was only capable of grunting demands.
‘I need to dominate you, Tressa. Need you under me, at my mercy.’
She panted, hot puffs against his chin then a small moan slipped past and she reached up, nipped at his lower lip. ‘Take it. Take anything you want.’
A Wolf’s Deception (Novella) Page 6