Rainbow's End

by JB Bonds

  “Hey, girls. What do you think of my new caftan?” Burton struck a perfect model’s pose.

  “Actually, it’s stunning, Burton. Do you ever loan out any of your fabulous clothes?” Roz asked.

  “Absolutely, sweetie. Just come by anytime and we’ll go through my closets. It would be great fun.”

  Herb came around the corner from the coffee machine, double café latte in tow. He drank them all day long. Herb is a true Renaissance man. I wonder if Bonnie realizes how lucky she is.

  “Has anyone tried to start a book club here at Rainbow?” I asked.

  “About three or four years ago, we started a club and had a really good turnout, but things got ugly fast. Everyone had different ideas about what books to read. Some people wanted to read strictly scientific, factual books and others were into romance novels. They could see the handwriting on the wall; they were never going to agree on book choices. So they decided to shelve the book club idea.”

  “I’d like to give it another try, if you don’t mind. I’ve started three or four clubs in the past and they turned out great.”

  “That’s fine with me. Stop by the office and we’ll check the calendar to see when the Recreation Center is available. Then we can announce it tonight at bingo and I’ll make a three wheeler announcement on the day of the first meeting.”

  “I’ll stop by this afternoon and check with Bonnie and her calendar. By the way, Roz and I are curious if you’ve had time to get to know the Hammonds, our new neighbors.”

  “Not so much. I did talk to them briefly when they first stopped by the office to fill out a few papers. Have you had a chance to meet them?”

  “Roz and I went over to welcome them to Rainbow yesterday and invite them to bingo tonight, that’s all. Herb, do you know if Virgil Hammond is still working, or is he completely retired?”

  “To my knowledge, he doesn’t work outside the home. Maybe he still works from his computer,”

  “That could be true. Roz and I did see him working at his computer when we stopped by yesterday.”

  “Is there a problem here you’re not mentioning, Joanie?” Roz and I were truly beginning to sound and act like the resident ‘busy-bodies’ of Rainbow. I wasn’t sure why we were acting this way or where the anxious feelings came from in regards to the Hammonds. Maybe being 75 had something to do with it. I’ve found a change in our personalities came with age. We’re becoming more aggressive. Is this a good thing?

  “No, no, no. Just curious is all. We’ll see you guys at bingo tonight.” We turned to go.

  Roz and I followed Burton and Beatrice out of the store and started for home. On our way, we passed Joe Curtis. He’s been living in Rainbow for a few years. He’s a quiet man in his early 60’s. He’s also a big man, well over six feet, with long gray hair that’s always in a low ponytail, and he’s missing three fingers on his right hand. We understand he’s a retired private investigator, so there is never ending conversation and speculation about how those fingers came off. Roz and I get along very well with Joe, but we’ve never really talked to him about his PI career.

  “I think we need to make sure Lois joins us tonight. I’ll stop by there on my way to bridge this afternoon and invite her to walk over to the Recreation Center with me.”

  “Sounds like a plan. I’m going to stop at the office to talk to Bonnie about putting a book club meeting onto the calendar as I go to beading class.”

  Once we had fixed our lunch and made plans for dinner, Roz and I went our separate ways for the afternoon. I drove our golf cart to the office and had Bonnie pencil in a book club meeting for the following Wednesday night at 7:00 pm, and then I went to the small building behind the main office called the Annex that is used for all kinds of classes. Not only was beading offered, but basket weaving, calligraphy, gardening, flower arranging, and just about any hobby the residents would like to learn. Roz was actually in the Recreation Center next door that housed a small library and was used for all sorts of game nights, card playing, and of course, bingo. She’s been playing bridge her whole life, and is quite good. In fact, she gives lessons after each game to those who want to stay around for an extra hour or so.

  I made my way to the room where the beaders were busily making bracelets. I immediately saw Alberta and Tutti at a table in the back of the room. Tutti looked a little flustered and gave me a little bit of a smirk as she complained about the choice of beads available. Alberta was checking her make-up with a little compact mirror and giving some gentleman I didn’t recognize at the next table the “eye.” He looked a little uncomfortable and managed to scoot his chair around so he couldn’t make eye contact with Alberta.

  “May I join you two girls?”

  “By all means! Pull up a chair and we’ll get you caught up. Lord knows there’s not a lot to learn about putting this little bracelet together,” Tutti said.

  “Have you made jewelry before Tutti?”

  “Not really, but I think the instructor could have started this class out with a necklace at least, or earrings, but who am I to judge?” Tutti is a whiner with her glass half empty all the time.

  Shortly after I got my beading materials gathered and was sliding beads the size of rice onto a string, the door banged open and in came Morty. He looked frantic and was sweating profusely. He spotted me and immediately raced back to my table.

  “Joanie, you’ve got to come with me, right now, please! Lois has gone crazy. She must have picked up all of her cats from wherever they were being boarded, and then slipped into my trailer and left them there!”

  “Where is Lois right now?”

  “She’s in her trailer but won’t answer the door.”

  “OK, let’s go over there and see what Lois has to say about all of this. Girls, I’ll have to finish my bracelet another time.”

  Morty and I got into my golf cart and went straight to Lois’s trailer. I knocked several times.

  “Lois, would you open your door so Morty and I can talk to you?”

  “You tell Morty I hope he goes into an allergic fit. Maybe this will slow his libido down just a notch,” Lois sounded like she had been crying.

  “Lois, you’re not thinking straight. Sure, you might impose misery on Morty and his allergies, but what about your cats? You can’t just leave them in Morty’s trailer. They’re your responsibility. I think you’ve let your libido get the better of you. Come out and you and I can go collect your cats and let Morty get into his trailer.”

  Lois opened the door and stuck her head out, but didn’t look at Morty. She was definitely in a foul mood, and her eyes were red.

  “I think you’ve made your point with Morty,” I said as I rubbed her arm.

  “Lois, I’m truly sorry if I led you astray, but I never meant any harm.” Morty sounded like he meant it. I think he was surprised Lois seemed truly hurt.

  “Morty, go away. I don’t want to talk to you. Joanie let me get my shoes on and you and I will go get my cats. Morty, you better not be on my porch when I get out there. Go somewhere and seduce another unsuspecting woman.”

  If you had told me when I was in my 40’s that one day I would be refereeing a spat between two 85-year-olds about their libidos, I would have laughed my head off. Living in Rainbow had opened my eyes to the fact that sex was alive and well with the senior population.

  Morty scampered down the sidewalk, but turned to me before starting up the street and said, “Joanie, I’ll go sit by the pool for half an hour or so. Thanks for helping me.”

  As he started up the street, I could see he was scratching his face and neck. I’m afraid Morty was in for an uncomfortable night. Lois and I made our way to Morty’s trailer with several cat carriers. It took us over an hour to round up all of them. They’d made themselves right at home at Morty’s place, sleeping on his bed and pillows, knocking everything off all of his tables, and using the curtains as a ju
ngle gym. Since the cats hadn’t been there very long, they hadn’t made too much of a mess without their litter boxes, thank heavens! Between the two of us, it only took a few minutes to straighten up Morty’s trailer and set things right. We were able to get three cats in each of the three carriers and make one more run to get the final six. Once we had all fifteen cats safely back at Lois’s, I could tell she was having second thoughts about her revenge. Lois was pretty quiet and subdued as she told me she’d see me and Roz at bingo.

  When I got back home, it was going on 4:30. I was glad to see Roz was there. I had left the Annex so quickly I hadn’t told her where I was going, but I was sure the news about Morty would travel to the bridge tables.

  “How was bridge today, Roz?”

  “It was great! Would you believe I bid seven no trump and made it!”

  “OK…that’s great, Roz.” What else could I say since I had no clue what a no trump was.

  “And I won $4.00 for top score! I was on a roll today. Betty and I were partners for the last hand and I was determined to be the high score today. Thank heavens we both had an opening hand and Betty knows how to bid. Shirley is a different story. She has no clue how to bid a slam. She had low score again today and just won the pennies. I didn’t go down one time today!”

  “Went down where, Roz?”

  Roz was fired up over her afternoon at bridge and I wasn’t able to follow any of the conversation.

  “No, I said I didn’t go down once today, oh never mind. You know what, Joanie? You need to learn to play bridge. It’s good for your mind. Maybe you wouldn’t have to throw things all over the floor to help you remember something if you challenged your mind with a little bridge.”

  “I would rather do my crossword puzzles and scrabble games. You’re not going to believe what I’ve been up to this afternoon.”

  “What?”

  “Lois was so mad at Morty she put all her cats in his trailer, knowing how allergic he is to the animals. He found me in my beading class and begged me to go talk to her about getting those cats removed. I finally convinced her to go get the cats and move on with her life. What a mess! But the thing that amazes me is the whole time Lois was ranting and raving about what a cad Morty was, she had the slightest smile on her face.”

  “That really surprises me about Lois,” Roz remarked as she slipped on her sandals.

  “Put your hat on, Joanie, let’s take a spin around Rainbow. One of the ladies at bridge today was telling me about some big flower pots she found at The Dollar Store. I wouldn’t mind buying a couple to start an herb garden for us. She said they were on Pirate’s Cove, third house from the end.”

  Chapter 5

  Margaritas and Cigars

  I drove the golf cart this time and started up the street at a steady clip. At the beginning of our street, we made a right turn and continued to drive around the Inner Perimeter Road. The blocks and streets in Rainbow’s End are not long or far apart. On our left, we passed the Recreation Center and Country Store. Wafting on the air was the smell of cinnamon buns that Bonnie Bennett bakes twice a day for sale at the Store. As usual around this time of evening, a little line was beginning to form just outside the Country Store front door. These residents knew that if they wanted a cinnamon bun for tomorrow’s breakfast, they better get them now, because the “morning buns,” as we all called them, were always gone in five minutes after she brought them to the front register. Roz and I motored past, sorely tempted to stop and get on queue for a couple of the delicious buns for tomorrow’s breakfast, but we motored on.

  After only a couple of blocks past the Country Store, Roz instructed me to turn onto Pirate’s Cove. We found the house with the planters and decided an herb garden was in our future. A few doors down the street we saw Joe Curtis walk out of his house. He saw us and waved with his two fingered hand. We pulled into Joe’s driveway and he walked over to greet us.

  “Afternoon, ladies, what brings you all to Pirate’s Cove?”

  “Hi, Joe. Joanie and I decided to take a spin around the neighborhood this afternoon. Just checking out the neighbor’s landscaping. How are you?”

  “I’m doing pretty well. I get kind of antsy at times because my days are so different than they used to be.”

  “Exactly what did you used to do, Joe?” Roz asked.

  “I had my own private investigation business up in Baltimore for about ten years before I retired. You know, I looked for missing persons, checked out unfaithful spouses, that kind of thing. Then about two years ago, things kind of changed, and that’s when I packed it in and moved here.”

  At that point Joe put the two fingered hand into his pocket. Roz and I could tell he didn’t want to talk about those missing fingers. Maybe someday Joe would feel like talking to us about how he lost them.

  As we turned to leave I asked Joe if he would be at bingo tonight.

  “Wouldn’t miss it. Besides, I don’t want everybody talking about me.”

  We got into our golf cart and as I pulled away from Joe’s, I asked Roz what time it was.

  “Just about 5:00, why?”

  “I think it’s Gulf time, don’t you?”

  “My thoughts exactly. Let’s stop by Burton’s to see if he’d like to join us.”

  Burton lived on one of the nicest lots on Tropic Breeze. What made it so nice was the fact he had a double lot. Burton had lived in Rainbow for two years. At his dock on the channel behind his RV there was both a bass boat and a Sea-Doo. He loved nothing more than ripping around the Gulf on the Sea Doo in his two-piece red polka dot bikini and white lace cover-up. Burton had installed little pink flamingo lights along his walkway. At either side of his front door were huge terra-cotta urns with giant Elephant Ears in each. We could hear Hawaiian music inside the RV, which meant Burton had started cocktail hour. I knocked.

  “It really is 5:00 o’clock somewhere, and that would be here! What’s up, sisters?” Burton said as he opened the door.

  “Would you be interested in joining us down by the Gulf right now?” Roz said.

  “Give me ten minutes to pack up the margaritas and some shaved ice and I’ll meet you there.”

  “We’ll grab a little snack on our way to the pool so we won’t go to bingo hungry,” I said. We knew to allow at least an hour to enjoy our cigars and the margaritas. Roz and Burton and I had become cigar aficionados. We liked to smoke Ashtons and could find them at the little smoke shop in our strip mall. Burton had already promised he was going to go to one of the Cuban smoke shops and buy us some “real” cigars, hand rolled with the finest of tobaccos, which Roz and I were looking forward to.

  Roz and I stopped by our house and grabbed cheese and crackers, hummus, and an assortment of fruit. We then drove over to the pool area, parked our golf cart, and made our way down to the loungers set up by the Gulf.

  “Nothing better than an ice cold margarita and a good cigar, huh, Joanie?”

  “I think we deserve this little break, and I must say Burton makes the best margarita I’ve ever had.”

  With that, Roz dug around in her big tote bag and pulled out three cigars and some matches. We were ready. Burton was making his way down the walkway with a cooler over his arm. When he had found the time to put on a full length, strapless silk sundress that was covered in bright red poppies and rhinestone sandals to match, I don’t know.

  “What a great idea! We haven’t done this in a while. I love, love, love sitting down here in the evening. How much time do we have before bingo?” Burton said as he joined us.

  “It’s not quite 5:30, so we’ve got at least an hour before we need to head home. Why?” Roz asked.

  “Oh, you know me, I’m so slow at getting myself put together. Between the bra, panties, false eyelashes, and shaving my pits, it all just takes time.”

  “TMI, Burton,” I said with a smile on my face.

  Burton sa
t his cooler on the sand by our loungers and proceeded to make three margaritas. Roz was readying the cigars. Roz and I have been smoking the occasional cigar for a couple years. Our husbands enjoyed having a cigar every once in a while at the end of the day. Years ago, the four of us had taken a trip to New Orleans together. In one of the Blues Clubs along Bourbon Street in the French Quarter, the guys offered us a drag off their cigars. We have a great picture of the two of us blowing smoke rings. Roz and I never smoked cigars when our husbands were alive, but had rediscovered them when we first moved into Rainbow. While sitting at the pool one day, I caught a whiff of cigar smoke coming up from the shore. I guess I was having one of what I call my ‘going rogue’ days. That afternoon I made a quick trip to the smoke shop. Later, when I pulled out a pack of cigars and showed them to Roz, she smiled and winked. We were on the same page. One cigar a month is our limit. We always include Burton because cigars are his weakness, as well as a good cocktail.

  “Have some food, Burton. If you’re like me and Roz, we have to eat our three meals a day. Going to bingo on an empty stomach wouldn’t work for us. That way you’ll have time to get ready for bingo. Burton, I have to ask you something. How do you keep your skin so flawless?” I asked as I gaped at his face, which was absolutely blemish-free.

  “Unguent exfoliation is the only way. I can’t stress enough how important it is to really clean your face every single day. Besides, while I exfoliate, I also soak in a bath that has about half a bottle of glorious bath oil in it. Talk about something that does wonders for the skin! How would you two like a facial? Oh, what fun!! Does 9:00 tomorrow morning work for you two? Your faces will love you.”

  “Sure, sounds good to me. How about you, Roz?”

  “Count me in.”

  The three of us enjoyed our cigars and margaritas as we talked about the going’s on in Rainbow. We told Burton about Lois and Morty, which he got a big kick out of, and not because Lois put all her cats in Morty’s trailer. Burton was thrilled and amazed that Lois and Morty were doing more than playing canasta in Lois’s trailer.