by Lucia Jordan
“No, but we were in the cafeteria one day debating the merits of burgers versus salads and kind of hit it off.”
“I’m so happy for you!”
“It’s still pretty new but…I really like her.”
“Adam, that’s great.” Avery was very happy for her brother but his happiness reminded her of what she’d lost with Burke. She’d had that with him, that feeling of giddiness and contentment. Love. And she’d thrown it away.
“Look, I should get going. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day. I’ll call you after the hearing. Love you, Adam.”
“Love you, too.”
***
Avery’s hands shook as she sat in her car and looked up at the prison. She’d been so confident yesterday, so sure she needed to do this. But today, she was terrified. She hadn’t laid eyes on this guy in almost a decade and now she was going to be sitting in the same room with him again. She had no idea how he would react—if he would be angry she was there or if he even remembered her. It shouldn’t matter what he thought, this wasn’t really about him. This was about her unburdening herself from the resentment and anger she’d held onto for all those years. This was about moving forward with her life and not letting the past control her actions.
She wished Burke were there, by her side. He would give her the courage she needed, the confidence to face the situation head on.
But he wasn’t. It had been over three weeks since she’d told him to get out of her life and he’d done exactly that, with the exception of him arranging for her to go back to school. Even then, it had been through his attorney.
Avery wished she could talk to him and tell him how sorry she was for reacting the way she had. Yes, it had been a shock to discover who he was, and he shouldn’t have lied to her, but after she’d gotten over her initial hurt and really thought about why he’d done it, she understood why he’d been afraid to tell her and how hard it must have been for him to come back into her life under the cloud of their twisted past.
She missed him. She missed his touch, his taste, his scent. She missed his hands, his body, his cock. She missed talking to him and laughing with him. Most of all, she missed just being around him. He made her feel better, happier, complete. Loved.
If any good had come out of the whole situation, it was that she’d learned how to let go of the past. But not before ruining her chance at happiness in the future. Breaking up with Burke had been the last stupid decision she’d made based on the events from a decade ago, and she was done letting it dictate her life.
She finally got out of her car, took one deep cleansing breath, squared her shoulders, and made her way into the prison.
***
The parole hearing was short and to the point. Avery surprised the Board with her impact statement. Usually, they heard from angry victims and family members pleading with the Board to keep the offender in jail, and a few weeks ago Avery would have been one of them. Although she didn’t relish the idea of the man being back out on the streets, she was glad she’d spoken her mind.
In the end, the Board determined that ten years in prison for killing two people wasn’t a long enough punishment. He would stay in prison for at least another two years, and then would come before the Board for another hearing. Avery wouldn’t come back for that hearing. She’d said everything she needed to. This chapter of her life was closed.
When she had arrived, she’d been the only person in the room other than the Board. She’d heard someone come in right before they’d brought him out but she didn’t turn around—she couldn’t. She was too nervous to care who else was there.
Finally, when they led the prisoner back to his cell, she stood and turned. “Burke! What are you…”
“I’ll escort you to the front,” the guard interrupted and ushered them out of the room.
They walked outside together.
“How are you?” she asked nervously.
“Fine.” Burke hadn’t expected to find Avery at the hearing. He’d been shocked when he walked in and saw her sitting there with her back perfectly straight and her eyes forward. He was so proud of her for coming, for facing her past and making sure his stepbrother didn’t get out of prison. Then, he was completely shocked when she’d given her speech.
“I, uh, went to your house to talk to you but your house sitter said you were gone. She didn’t know when you were coming back.”
“I had some business I needed to take care of in London this past week, then I was going to take a little time off to clear my head,” Burke replied without emotion. He had to force down any excitement he felt at seeing Avery. He’d been a complete bear at Dalton and he knew he needed to get his emotions under control again. After a couple of days he’d realized that the only thing that was going to get him under control was being with Avery. He’d intended to go to her after making sure his stepbrother stayed in jail, to make her listen to him. He wasn’t prepared to see her at the hearing.
Avery was a little surprised as his coldness but she couldn’t fault him for it. She had been the one to tell him to get out of her life. “Oh, I see.”
“Why are you here?” he asked.
She was confused by the question. He’d been sitting in the room when she’d spoken to the Board, so he knew why she was there. “I, uh, wanted to…tell the Parole Board…”
“No, I mean why would you want to tell them that you forgive that piece of shit?”
She was startled by his question. “I…it was something I had to do. You really don’t like your stepbrother, do you?”
“What’s to like,” he sneered. “He’s a complete waste of space. He had every advantage handed to him and he threw it all away.”
“I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say.
“What are you sorry for? You didn’t screw up his life. He did that all on his own.”
Avery didn’t like to see Burke like this—she wished she could comfort him but he was clearly not in the mood for comfort. Especially from her.
“I, uh, didn’t think I’d see you here.” She’d been prepared to talk to him a week ago but when she’d found out that he was gone, she’d stopped running her apology speech through her head.
“I just wanted to make sure that the Board wasn’t taken in by his charms. He needs to stay locked up so he doesn’t kill anyone else.” Burke immediately regretted his words. “Avery, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
She waved him off. “No, don’t apologize. It still hurts, it probably always will, but I’ve forgiven him.”
“Why? What he did ruined your life.”
“What he did changed my life, yes, but…I’ve come to realize that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad. And there are consequences to both.”
Burke frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I…can we go somewhere and talk?” If he didn’t want to talk, she would just have to accept that. But at least it would give her closure and she could move on, as hard as it would be.
“Yes. Follow me.”
She followed him to a coffee shop a couple of miles away. As she parked and got out of her car, she noticed that he was fidgeting from one foot to the other. She’d never known Burke to be nervous about anything and wondered what was causing it. Maybe he didn’t really want to talk to her, and was just humoring her because she’d just dealt with his stepbrother and the parole hearing.
She was here, talking to him! He couldn’t believe it. How could he apologize? How could he make this right with her? The past three weeks had been pure hell on him. So much so that he’d considered selling the house and Dalton Printing and never coming back. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of her. He couldn’t sleep in the bed they had shared, couldn’t eat in the kitchen where they’d prepared their meals. Couldn’t work in his office, the den, the living room—all the rooms they had made love in.
But, even bearing the pain of knowing he’d never have her again, he still couldn’t sell the house. It was all he had left of what the two o
f them had enjoyed together.
As Avery walked up to the door of the shop, she hoped Burke would put his hand on the small of her back as he had done so many times before. She held her breath as she approached him, waiting for his touch, but was greatly disappointed when he merely held the door open for her and let her walk through first.
She found a table in the corner and they sat down. She didn’t know how to start the conversation. She’d thought about what she would say to him if she ever saw him again about a million times, but actually doing it was much more difficult than she had imagined. What if he didn’t accept her apology? What if he was done with her? What if he’d moved on to someone else?
She supposed the not knowing was far more difficult than facing the reality of living the rest of her life without Burke so she just started talking. “I started classes a couple of weeks ago. Thank you.”
He nodded. “Are you enjoying school?”
She shrugged. “Yes and no.”
“What’s wrong?” The concern was clear in his voice. “Did you not get the classes you wanted? Do you need a tutor or…”
“Relax, Burke. It’s nothing like that. It’s just that…” She really didn’t want to tell him what she was thinking. She would sound like a crazy person, like she was ungrateful and high maintenance.
“Tell me,” he commanded.
And there’s the Dom I know and love, she thought with a smile. “Well, it’s just that now that I’m there, I realize that…maybe I was more focused on not having a degree and didn’t really think about what the degree would do for me. I mean, now that Adam is off on his own and I don’t have to worry about paying his tuition, I can get any job and support myself. I don’t need a degree to work in another antique shop. I have the knowledge, the years of experience.”
“So that’s what you want to do? Work in an antique shop?”
“It’s what I know, and I actually miss it. The antiques, I don’t know, just speak to me. Working for Margot wasn’t a picnic but I loved the antiques.” When he didn’t respond right away, she blurted, “I’m sorry. I know you spent a lot of time, not to mention money, to get me into school but…I just think I’m over feeling like a failure for not having a college degree.”
Burke wasn’t surprised. Every time they’d gone shopping for pieces for his house, she’d been overcome with whimsical excitement.
“Don’t apologize, Avery. And don’t ever call yourself a failure. You’ve done so much with your life. I just want you to be happy.”
He didn’t tell her that he’d purchased an antique shop downtown that was just waiting for her to take it over. Even if they didn’t end up together, he’d give her the shop.
“Thank you for understanding,” she said.
“Of course.”
“I really wanted to talk to you about something else, though.”
“Before you go on, I have to ask…how did you get to this point?” he asked.
“What point?”
“Forgiveness.”
He’d given her the perfect opening for what she needed to say.
“Oh, well, funny story. I accidentally walked into the wrong classroom my first day of school. It was a class on Buddhism and the professor started talking about karma and forgiveness and how life is cyclical—how one event builds onto another and onto another and so on. That got me thinking about my parents, about how I’d held onto the anger and resentment for all these years and how that had colored my outlook on life.”
“Considering all you’ve given up and everything you had to do to raise Adam on your own, I think your outlook on life is pretty good.”
“That may be, but it still made me…I realized that the tragedy that happened ten years ago had started me down a path I didn’t even know I was on.” Avery blew out a nervous breath and wiped her damp hands on her skirt. “It started me down the path that brought me to you.”
Burke couldn’t breathe, didn’t know where she was going with this. He tried to tamp down the hope that swelled inside him, the hope that she had found forgiveness in her heart for him as well, but he didn’t want to get crushed again if she turned away from him.
“If your stepbrother hadn’t done what he’d done, if I hadn’t been in that courtroom ten years ago, you never would’ve seen me. You never would’ve tracked me down and come after me.”
“Avery, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was from the very beginning. I just didn’t want to jeopardize…”
“No, I understand why you did it. I’m not happy about your deceit, but I understand. I also understand that if I can forgive the man who killed my parents, I can certainly forgive the man I love.”
Burke’s heart nearly stopped. “You…love…me?”
She nodded. “Yes. It took me a while to figure it out, but when I realized my bone-deep sadness was because you weren’t in my life anymore, and when I listened to that professor talk about life cycles, I realized that the path my life needed to go down was the path that had you in it. I’m sorry I reacted…” Avery didn’t get to finish her apology. Burke pulled her into his lap and silenced her with a passionate kiss. A kiss she’d been longing for for three weeks.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he confessed when he finally broke contact.
“I’ve missed you, too.” She nuzzled his neck and nipped at his jaw.
“And just so you know, I wasn’t letting you get away that easily. Even if I had to kidnap you, I was going to make you understand just how much I love and need you,” he said.
“I love and need you, too. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Don’t ever leave me again,” he warned, and then had a thought that put a devilish grin on his face. “Maybe I should just tie you to the bed so you can never get away.”
Avery shivered at his words. “Maybe you should.”
He kissed her again. “Let’s go home,” he growled as he stood with her in his arms and carried her away.
THE END
Lick Book 1
As a little girl, Gina Mitchell dreamed of being a princess. She was going to live in a castle with singing candle sticks and clocks and marry a prince. While the other things were obviously not happening, Gina did marry the man of her dreams. Well, at least she thought she had. Zane Mitchell was her high school sweet heart. They were madly in love and soon after graduation they were married.
The wedding was nothing like Gina had envisioned, with a white dress, eight bridesmaids and thousands of doves being released on the special day. No, it had consisted of a quick visit to the court house and that was it. But it really didn’t matter, Zane could have asked her to jump off a cliff and she would have gladly done it without as much as a glance over her shoulder. That’s how in love she was. That’s how naive she’d been.
The first eight years of their marriage were filled with ups and downs, joys and triumphs. Zane worked away a lot and when he was home, he was too tired to spend any time with Gina. They just began to drift further and further apart. It was around the nine year mark that Zane’s personality had taken a drastic change. He became mean and hurtful. While he never directly lay a harmful hand on Gina, she never truly felt safe from his explosive temper. She found herself constantly walking on eggshells around him, all while he made fun of her weight or told her how she’d really let herself go.
Slowly the days went by as he chipped tiny pieces of her away. Three months ago, thirteen years of marriage ended with a trip to the court house. The irony that it was ending the same way it had started was not lost on Gina.
Five days ago it was final, and now she stood on the front steps of her brother’s house in Yuma Arizona. It was a new place full of dry heat and scorching sun and she wasn’t all together sure she didn’t miss the cool Colorado climate.
Gina placed her suitcase on the porch and pressed the doorbell. She looked at her watch. Half past seven. Bryan was a professor at the local college. Ten years older than her, they were extremely close and to say he
wasn’t happy about her leaving Zane would have been a lie. He’d hated Zane from the beginning and made no effort to hide his opinions.
The door swung wide and a tall frame filled the door way.
“You’re here,” he said as he swept her into his arms and pulled her into a massive hug. He was tall. Six foot three to her five foot four. Yeah, there was quite a height difference. Gina took a deep breath and felt comfort in his familiar scent. She sniffed as tears filled her eyes and soaked his blue tee shirt.
“Shhh,” he soothed as he patted her hair and rested his chin on the top of her head.
Gina couldn’t speak as her brokenness escaped in violent sobs. She was divorced and alone. Her heart hurt.
Gina wasn’t sure how long they stood there but when her sobs had finally eased she took a step back.
“Better?” he asked.
She nodded and sniffed.
“Good, come on, I just made a fresh pot of coffee. I don’t have to be in class until nine. I’ll make you breakfast.” He grabbed her suitcase and carried it inside, leaving her with no other option than to follow. The house was pretty good size for being a bachelor pad. The second story housed three bedrooms and two bathrooms, while the ground floor had a living room, game room, kitchen, dining room, bedroom turned office and a bathroom. Behind the house was a massive in ground swimming pool and hot tub. Bryan had done well for himself and she couldn’t help but to feel pride swell in her chest.
“Sit,” he said, pointing to one of the bar stools. Gina obediently sat as he poured her a cup of coffee and refilled his cup.
“How was your drive?” he asked as he took a sip.
Gina gingerly sipped the coffee and sat the cup back down. She toyed with a piece of skin beside her thumb nail. She lifted a shoulder. “Long, but okay I guess.”
“I told you I would have picked you up at the airport,” he said with a deep frown.
“I couldn’t fly. Until my settlement is in my account I had to use what little savings I had to drive. It wasn’t enough for a ticket and besides…I couldn’t leave my stuff. Zane would have destroyed it.”