The Corporate Bitch

by J. J. R.

  “Don’t cry, baby. I never meant to make you sad,” he says wiping away my tears.

  “No, it isn’t that. It’s perfect.” I pull him to the bed and we lie flat on our backs to stare up at the magical swirls of red, green, white, yellow, purple and blue.

  “What is it, those mean girls? Are they bothering you again?”

  “They haven’t exactly stopped. It’s just that I am in so knee deep with this vindication plan that I’m forgetting what life’s all about. This.” I snuggle up to him and breathe in the smell of his skin. “This is what it is all about, my love

  He kisses me so deeply and I melt into him. We make sweet love under the twinkle lights, pushing the rest of the world beyond our bed, the snow-covered windows, the sleepy streets and out into the far distant ocean. Tonight none of that matters. It’s only the two of us.

  * * * *

  I wake to feel my bare skin against the warm sheets. I blink several times and the first thing I see from my floor-length window is a fresh layer of sparkling snow falling on the city I love. I smile and watch the silent flakes flurry around in the wind for a moment before tiptoeing to the bathroom.

  Finn is still fast asleep and it’s nearly noon. We needed last night and the gorgeous sleep that followed with every fiber of our bodies. It set the world right again as only night fading into a cheerful morning will do.

  I wash my face, brush my teeth and pull my hair into a ponytail. In the kitchen, I crack open eggs, mix pancake batter and pour two steaming mugs of coffee. I am extra quiet so as to not wake sleeping beauty, but when I poke my face in, he is presently face down with a little puddle of drool and Oliver proudly sleeping on his butt. Even in his deepest of sleeps he is drop dead gorgeous.

  “Wake up, sleepy head,” I croon and smooth his hair out of his face. He groans and opens one eye, before instantly snapping it shut.

  “I don’t wanna,” he grumbles.

  “If you eat all of this thick bacon and fluffy pancakes, I’ll let you go back to sleep. I’ll even join you,” I say and kiss his forehead.

  “I thought I was dreaming that smell. You’re telling me my hot body was so good for you that you cooked?”

  “No, I’m celebrating how sexy my own ass is,” I say and smack my butt for good emphasis.

  “I am the luckiest chap in the world,” he says and pulls himself out of the mountain of pillows, sending Oliver to the floor.

  “Here you go, my love.” I place his plate next to him and snuggle up on the other side of the bed. I turn on the TV to see a Harry Potter marathon is on.

  We look at each other and smile, before I race to the refrigerator for champagne. Harry marathons plus champagne is a staple in this house and I don’t give a rat’s ass who thinks we are immature. There’s something so peaceful about those movies. They will soothe and relax you right back into a winter’s nap.

  We gorge ourselves on brunch delights and snuggle back under the covers when we are finished. Little hints of maple syrup and champagne on our lips and before long we are fast asleep once again.

  Wedding plans and lunch with Jade tomorrow, but today? Today I am going to snuggle with my baby cakes.

  * * * *

  “So how’s your big plan coming along? Take any of the Divas down yet? I suppose not because you are still working there,” Jade laughs over brunch.

  “Ugh, do we have to talk about that? I kind of just want to talk about flowers and wedding cakes today. You are my maid of honor after all.”

  “Yeah, yeah, that can wait until after brunch. We’ve got all afternoon to plan those details, but right now, I’m dying to know if you’ve taken them down.”

  I spill the gory details of the last several weeks and watch her devour them with a smirk on her pretty little face. She hates that I am doing this but clearly is getting a kick out of it.

  “You think it’s going to work? As in, you think Tom’s going to believe you? I would have recorded that conversation with Ashley.”

  “I don’t exactly think that’s legal,” I laugh.

  “Eh, who cares? You gotta do what you gotta do.”

  “Where is all this coming from? You were anti about my mission and now you are thirsty for blood? What gives?”

  She looks around the restaurant and lowers her voice into a hushed whisper, “I’ve got my own mean girl, thank you very much. And she’s your replacement.”

  “No!”

  “Yes.”

  “What’s happening?”

  “She’s starting to form a little clique and has spread so much gossip I think it may actually be what we’re paying her for. She belittles everyone except Kathy and what kills me is that Kathy is actually buying her crap. She’s out for total domination, I tell you.” She sighs and reaches over to take my bacon.

  I would slap her hand, but I am too immersed in her story.

  “Oh what do I know? I’m starting to think it’s everywhere. That for some fluke reason, we avoided it for all of those years, but that is how the world works now. Everyone is out for old number one.”

  “It can’t be true,” I say glumly. “I refuse to believe that places like the former LEP don’t exist. We were happy. We were proud.”

  “Yeah, I blame social media. Everyone’s all like look at me, ‘I’m the greatest’ and bragging to the point that they expect praise. And if you don’t give it, they’ll take it. Total crap.”

  “So you aren’t happy there anymore?” I ask.

  “Eh, not really. But like I said who is? I mean if you ask me if I love my job, no. Give it a grade? I guess a B, but who really, truly lives an A plus life? Isn’t it enough just to pay the bills and get through the day? We work our asses off to pay for vacations and put our kids in good schools.” She motions toward me. “Pay for weddings. At the end of the day, we all have jobs and maybe that’s all there is.”

  “Jade, that doesn’t even sound like you. You’ve always been a dreamer. You were the one who challenged me to dig deeper, to go for the job at Allure. You are worth so much more.” I sigh.

  “Like Allure? Come on, Mel, that is the cream of the crop you’ve got yourself there and look how well that turned out. All I’m saying is the only time I think anyone is truly happy is if they become famous or something.”

  “What would be your dream job?” I ask.

  “Certainly not sitting behind a desk taking crap from mean girls, but it’s all I’ve got.”

  * * * *

  After an afternoon of wedding dress and bridesmaid dress shopping, I leave Jade and walk the sloshy ten blocks home, determined to walk off that brunch. Oh and yesterday’s brunch. Oh and the chocolates I ate after dinner.

  On my quiet stroll, I find myself hanging on Jade’s every word. It’s like we grew up and landed ourselves in adult situations that no one warns you about and ironically they are so similar to childhood issues. I almost want to feel sorry for her, but then I remember I’m in a worse place. I actually have a target on my back.

  The Christmas party is in four days and suddenly I break out into a sweat. It’s about twenty degrees below freezing on my little walk, but the reality hits me. It’s now or never. I’ve committed, I know the facts and now all I have to do is spill it in an eloquent convincing way to Tom. Dear God, will he believe me? Will he fire me on the spot for being insubordinate? Does he actually think the world of Queen Bee?

  After all, I’ve successfully, if not in a roundabout way completed steps one through four. I’ve won over Tom, reignited my relationship with Divas, and then promptly got pissed and didn’t care to be fake. I’ve gotten the confession, not from them exactly, but from Ashley who is the next best thing. I’ve been steadily winning over the rest of the team and now, finally, I must watch the mighty fall. T minus four days until my mission is complete and shit officially hits the fan.

  The Painful Truth

  Bitch Problem:

  Patronizing behavior is one of the simplest acts a bully can achieve. With a few little words, they can tear
you to shreds, leaving you feeling insufficient and made a mockery of.

  “It’s time,” Dante says and pokes his head into my office. “Holy mother of Madonna, it’s about to go down.”

  I gulp and nod. “Are we really going to do this?”

  “How certain are you that I’m going to be drunk tonight?” He raises an eyebrow.

  “One hundred percent,” I say solemnly.

  “That is how certain I am in this plan.”

  I laugh, gather my purse and coat and follow him to our salon appointments.

  * * * *

  I was not surprised to learn that our company holiday party is to be held at the Waldorf Astoria. We don’t even hold back on the coffee we buy, let alone the most glamorous night of the year. Every major stakeholder will be here with bells on and most fly in from around the world. The room will be filled with fantastically dressed surgeons and the pocket books that stand behind them.

  What I didn’t expect was exactly how stunning the event would be. I’m mesmerized as we enter our ballroom. From the floor to the ceiling, gold and silver sparkling lights and glittering décor have swallowed this room. I feel like I’m in a Christmas ornament.

  Such care has been taken to bring twenty-foot sparkling white trees to adorn every corner. The centerpieces are reverse and dripping long, fake glittering icicles from the ceiling. A blue light shines up through them and for a moment, I feel like Elsa from Frozen. I quietly sing, ‘Let it go! Let it go!” as Dante leads me through the room on his arm.

  We are currently so elegant I don’t even recognize us. Dante selected a red tuxedo. On anyone else, it would have appeared ludicrous, but for him, with his silver frames, he is as yummy as a candy apple.

  I am proudly wearing the dress he selected for me and Finn strongly approved of. It is a deep snow white with a long slit up one leg and a transparent v down my chest showing off my new two pack. My hair has been tousled, ironed and sprayed into smooth, glossy curls, and I’ve added a touch of diamond to my wrist to set the whole thing off. When I’m dressed to impress, my confidence comes with it. Let the games begin.

  But first, we must let everyone get nice and saturated. I watch as everyone arrives. A snowy blur of holiday-colored dresses. Puppet Master is appropriate in sparkling black, while Queen Bee has chosen utter perfection in cherry, sexy red. I watch them glide across the room, mixing and mingling with cackles so loud it is heard over the band. Ashley is eyeing me with a look of despair, and I can only imagine how much she would rather be on our end of the room.

  While everyone gets nice and liquored up, I let Dante lead me onto the dance floor and spin me to White Christmas, and I ache for Finn so badly. He would be able to get me through this. He would know the right words to give me courage. But tonight is his company party in Soho with a bunch of construction guys so Dante it is.

  “You okay?” he whispers and squeezes my hand.

  “I don’t know yet. I just want to get this over.” He lets me spin away and that is when I see him.

  Tom enters the room in the most polished, three-piece suit--complete with the penguin tail--I have ever seen. He stands tall, surveys the room and is immediately rushed by Queen Bee. I watch as he shakes hands, greets guests, and beams that great smile of his. How must it feel to be so confident in your own skin?

  I refill my white chocolate martini and let myself get distracted by Brisa’s story of some guy she is dating. I can feel sweat breaking out under my arms and my mouth is going dangerously dry.

  “So that’s when—”

  “Wait!” I interject.

  “What?” She twirls around, letting her flowing golden dress spin with a whoosh.

  Queen Bee is busy with Dr. Michaels. And Jock and Puppet Master stepped outside. “He’s alone.”

  “Tom?” She scans the room until her gaze rests on him. “Yep! Go, Mel! It’s time!” She gives me a shove and I see Dante rush toward her as I glide in long, quick steps across the room. My eyes are set on him. My target. My destination. It’s go time.

  I don’t overthink it for once in my life. I am doing the right thing, I can feel it.

  “Tom!” I croon and rest an arm on his.

  He turns toward me with an alarmingly bright smile.

  “How are you, Tom?”

  “Wonderful. Yourself? You look lovely this evening.”

  “Thank you.” I shift nervously in my dress. I can’t believe after all of this it’s coming down to this moment. It’s now or never. “Do you have a moment to chat? Mind joining me in the lobby bar? I’ve been meaning to talk with you one on one about something.”

  The music bursts into Have a Holly Jolly Christmas and his eyes flicker away. Is he looking for someone more important to talk to?

  “Business? Oh Mel, learn to have a little fun. It’s the holiday season after all!” He starts to leave, and I panic. I reach for his arm, desperate to stop him. I can feel the word vomit ready to pour out of me.

  I swallow hard. “Please sir? It would mean a lot.”

  “Umm...sure. Five minutes and then I have to get back to schmoozing. A lot of important people here.”

  “Thank you, thank you, you won’t regret it.”

  We make idle chit chat until we reach a dark corner of the bar. I seriously am so nervous I think I may throw up. I clasp my hands together and launch right the hell into it…the bomb that will destroy Allure as he knows it.

  “Sir,” I start. “I think the world of you. You have been so kind to my team and I and everyone really.”

  “I’m glad you think so,” he smiles, but his eyes are telling me to move along to the point.

  “But, there is something that you should know. It is about Puppet Master and Queen Bee.”

  He puts up a hand to stop me. “Melanie, I thought we talked about this. You can’t let that political drama get to you.”

  “It’s unfortunately a lot more than that, sir. You see, I am under extremely good authority that I was hired on as merely a tactic to push you out the door and promote them into your position.”

  “Is that so?” His hardened gaze is now squarely on me.

  I start to panic, wondering if in fact this is the right move. Am I way out of line here? Does he even care? Maybe he wants to leave? And the most gut-wrenching question I can ask myself…am I doing this for him or for me?

  Regardless, I can’t stop now. I’m in too deep. I forge ahead, ready to spill everything.

  “I have a considerable amount of information to prove to you the severity of my claim, because it is in fact the truth. They have made their intentions extremely well known and up until I started thinking on my own, they had their whole plan under control. Queen Bee and Puppet Master have been pushing you out for years and…”

  Strike five.

  “You little bitch!”

  I turn from Tom to see Queen Bee, Puppet Master, Jock, and Ashley. The words were barely out of my mouth and they snuck up behind me. I literally think I am going to die. In fact, isn’t it better than the alternative?

  The one and only time since the very moment that I’ve met them that their heels didn’t click click click to reveal their approaching.

  “How could you,” squeals Queen Bee. “We took you in, gave you everything and you think you can sneak off into a corner and sell me out! SELL ME OUT! You don’t know what the fuck you are talking about, you ungrateful little bitch! Are you sleeping together? Is that what this is about?”

  I watch as Tom turns a deep shade of red and instantly shakes his head back and forth. “No, no, not at all. Now calm down Queen Bee. I don’t even know what Melanie was going to say. Why don’t we give her a chance to explain herself?”

  And just like that the entire group stares directly into my soul. I scan the crowd to see Dante and Brisa running up, and I have never been more thankful in my life. They can save me.

  I start to stutter, begging for all of the words I have ever wanted to say to come pouring out.

  But all I’ve got i
s, “I’m sorry. I guess I just couldn’t believe how much you’ve had it out for me and when I probed for the truth, tried to understand why…” I glance at Ashley, whose eyes are currently pleading with me to leave her the hell out of it. So, I simply say, “I learned what your motives were and why you were trying to push me out.”

  “Oh you’re out of here, all right. Tom you can’t possibly believe this little lowlife, can you? She isn’t one of us. She is lower than even that little wretch Katrina you wanted to keep. Go on, Melanie, get the fuck out of here!” Her eyes are so black and her voice is so shrill that I snap back from my shaking retreat and stare pleadingly at Dante to help me. Help me!

  And then, the knife is pushed further and further into my back.

  “When Dante told us you had all sorts of little plans to expose us just now, I thought how pathetic. You couldn’t possibly pull it off. No one would believe you,” Puppet Master hisses. “And I was right. As I always am!” She breaks into an icy cackle and then Queen Bee and the others follow suit. Their laughter is tearing right through my soul.

  I turn back to Dante, tears, despite my best efforts, falling in heavy streams. His eyes are wide and his face has gone pale. It’s true.

  I barely wait for his head to drop in shame before I bolt out of there. I only pause in the lobby to remove my four inch heels. From the corner of my eye, I see Sleaze racing after me with my coat and purse. Oh God, I’m sobbing now.

  “Melanie, wait!” he cries. He somehow manages to catch up with me and wraps my coat around me. I can’t even speak, I am crying so hard.

  “Whatever it’s worth, you are a good person. I know I’m not exactly the best and hardly a good judge, but I think you are. And smart as hell. You’re way too good for these people. I know you are going to go further than any of us ever dreamed.” He leans down and kisses my tear-stained cheek. “Take care of yourself, Mel,” says Randy—formerly known as Sleaze.