‘I…ahem…yes, that’s right.’ Eve returned her smile, although she felt a little overwhelmed by the warmth of the greeting. She couldn’t help wondering what else Ryan had told his mother before she drove the thought from her mind. Ryan wouldn’t betray her confidence; it wasn’t in his nature.
‘We can’t stop, Mum,’ he said, interrupting them. ‘We’re supposed to be picking up the others but we’ve hit a bit of a snag. Eve hasn’t any really warm clothing and I was wondering if she could borrow some of yours.’
‘Of course she can.’ Patricia Sullivan immediately turned her mind to the problem as she beckoned Eve to follow her. ‘Let’s see what we can find, my dear.’
‘Are you sure you don’t mind,’ Eve protested as Patricia led the way upstairs. ‘I mean, it’s a bit of a cheek to turn up like this and ask to borrow your clothes.’
‘Nonsense! Of course I don’t mind,’ Patricia declared, cutting her off. She opened the door to what was obviously a guest bedroom and went straight to the wardrobe. ‘I’m only too happy to help. Ryan puts so much time and effort into his fundraising and it’s good to be able to do my bit.’
She began taking clothes out of the wardrobe and laying them on the bed. Eve looked at the growing pile and gulped. ‘I don’t think I need that amount. We’re only going to be away for a few days.’
‘You need to take a couple of extra things in case you get wet,’ Patricia told her firmly. ‘You don’t want to end up with pneumonia, do you?’
‘Definitely not.’ Eve laughed because it was exactly what she had thought too. It seemed that she was in tune with Ryan’s mother as well as with Ryan himself.
It was an unsettling thought mainly because it hinted at an intimacy she couldn’t afford to foster. She helped Patricia pack the clothes into a holdall and insisted on carrying it downstairs. Ryan grinned as he took the bag from her.
‘It looks as though Mum has come up trumps as usual.’
‘She has. And it’s very kind of her too.’ Eve turned to the older woman and on a sudden impulse kissed her on the cheek. ‘Thank you so much. It’s really kind of you to lend me all these things.’
‘I’m happy to help, my dear.’ Patricia gave her a hug and amazingly Eve didn’t feel at all panicky about it. It was such a huge step in the right direction that she could barely speak when Ryan told her he’d put the bag in the minibus.
Eve went to follow him, pausing when Patricia said softly, ‘Look after him, Eve. I know he gives the impression that he can deal with anything life throws at him, but underneath he’s still hurting. Losing his brother like that was a terrible experience for him and I only pray that one day he’ll be able to put it behind him.’
‘I’ll do my best,’ Eve said quietly, feeling a lump come to her throat.
‘Thank you.’
Patricia hugged her again then waved them off. Eve waved back, deeply moved by what the older woman had said. Up till now it had been all about her: her experiences with Damien; her need to put her life back together. Now she could see that she could help Ryan too and it was uplifting to know that she had something to offer him, that it needn’t be all one-sided. It could be beneficial to both of them to rekindle their…friendship.
A shiver passed through her as her mind faltered on the word. Although it was enough for now, she had a feeling it wouldn’t be enough for ever. Not for her anyhow. As for Ryan, well, that was an entirely different matter. She had no idea how he felt.
* * *
They collected the rest of the team and set off, heading north. Ryan had decided it would be best if they completed as much of the challenge as possible in daylight so climbing Ben Nevis was first on the agenda. Marie’s partner, Steve, had volunteered to act as their driver, which meant he was free to do whatever he wanted. He had been intending to go over their route again, double-checking the timings, but his mind kept wandering. Eve had behaved so naturally with his mother and he couldn’t help wondering if it was a sign that she was on the road to recovery. He hoped so and not just for her sake either. Knowing that Eve was getting over all the dreadful things that had happened to her would make him feel much better too.
‘So what’s the plan when we reach Fort William?’
Eve leant over to look at the notes he’d made and Ryan did his best to bring his mind back on course. Although he sensed there’d been a definite improvement, he didn’t intend to remark on it, especially when someone might overhear. Eve obviously wanted to keep her past to herself and he appreciated that.
‘We’re booked into a guest house for the night so we’ll drive straight there and check that everyone has what they need,’ he explained. ‘If anyone’s forgotten something vital there’ll be time to go to the shops and buy it.’
‘What sort of equipment do you need for a trip like this?’ Eve asked, frowning thoughtfully.
‘Hats, gloves, waterproofs, spare socks, plasters, survival blankets,’ he rattled off, trying not to get hung up on the idea of how much he would love to smooth away those tiny furrows marring her brow. He took a deep breath, steering his mind away from that beguiling thought. ‘I printed out a list of items that we should have with us off the Three Peaks Challenge website. It’s pretty comprehensive,’ he added, loath to stop talking when his thoughts were so tempted to return to a different topic. ‘So we’ve gone with that. It seemed easier.’
‘And safer,’ she pointed out.
‘That too,’ he agreed, relieved when she smiled and the frown disappeared. Sadly, his relief didn’t last, however, as he found himself taking stock once more.
She looked so pretty when she smiled, he thought, and sighed as he found himself wishing that he could make her smile more often. Although he wanted to help her, he didn’t want her to become too attached to him, to save her smiles only for him. He had to remember that at the end of the day he had nothing to offer her. It was a depressing thought and he was glad when Marie interrupted and asked how long it would take them to reach the summit of Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in Scotland and the first of the peaks they were to climb.
‘It’s roughly a five-hour round trip,’ Ryan explained, turning round so that he could look at her. His right thigh brushed against Eve’s and he gritted his teeth but he could feel a wave of heat flowing from his thigh and filling his entire body with fire. He bit back a groan. How in heaven’s name was he going to survive the next few hours when the slightest touch could cause this reaction.
‘So what time do we need to set off?’ Marie continued, oblivious to what was happening.
‘Four p.m. We need to be back down by nine as we have a six-hour drive ahead of us to reach Scafell.’ Ryan shifted slightly, deliberately putting some space between them in the hope that it would help. It did, although not as much as he would have liked. It still felt as though his body was burning up and it was unnerving not to be able to do anything about it. He hurried on. ‘It may seem daft to drive past Scafell and head to Scotland but everyone agrees it’s the best route. This way we get the highest mountain out of the way while we’re still fresh.’
‘Makes sense, although whether I’ll still think that after I’ve climbed it is another matter,’ Marie observed dryly.
Ryan laughed as he turned around. It was only natural that Marie should have concerns. He had them too, lots, in fact. Although he tried to keep fit, pressure of work made it impossible to keep on top of his training. He would hate to think that he might let the team down. He would hate to let Eve down too.
He sighed as he glanced at her. She had her eyes closed, although he could tell she wasn’t asleep. Was she finding it as much of a strain as he was to share a seat? But why? Because coming into contact with any man alarmed her or because it was him specifically? Was Eve as aware of him as he was of her?
Ryan’s heart sank. He knew it was true and it was the last thing he wanted. It simply wouldn’t be right to use the attraction Eve felt for him when it couldn’t lead anywhere. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed by a fee
ling of despair. Although he knew what he had to do, it wasn’t easy when his head and his heart were pulling him in opposite directions. If he followed his heart, he would woo Eve, encourage her, and relish every moment they spent together. If his heart had its way he would find himself so deeply involved with her that he wouldn’t want to break free!
He took a deep breath and used it to shore up his defences. He knew what he had to do and he would do it too.
* * *
They were booked into a guest house on the outskirts of Fort William. Eve followed Ryan as he led the way inside. The owner, a pleasant-faced woman in her sixties called Mrs Mackinnon, came to greet them.
‘You must be the party of doctors and nurses,’ she declared, opening the old-fashioned guest register.
‘That’s right.’ Ryan made the introductions while they signed in.
‘It’s nice to meet you all,’ Mrs Mackinnon said, taking some keys out of a drawer. She handed them to Ryan. ‘I’ll leave you to sort yourselves out. There’s tea and coffee in the rooms so help yourselves. There’s also a list of local pubs and restaurants if you plan on eating out tonight. Breakfast is served from seven a.m. till nine, although I can make it earlier if you’d prefer.’
‘Seven o’clock will be fine,’ Ryan assured her.
Mrs Mackinnon left and they split into pairs. Marie and Steve were sharing a room, of course, as were Penny Groves and Tamsin Brown, two of the nurses on Paeds. Jack Williams and Owen Archer, both registrars, were also doubling up. That left her and Ryan. Eve felt her heart turn over at the thought of sharing a room with him. He obviously realised her dilemma because he went and knocked on the door through which Mrs Mackinnon had disappeared.
‘Do you have another room we can use?’ he asked when she answered. ‘One of our group had to drop out and Eve has come along as his replacement. I’m sure she’d prefer a room of her own.’
‘Oh, dear, I’m so sorry but I don’t have another room. I only have five guest rooms and they’re all booked for the night.’ She turned to Eve. ‘You could try one of the other guest houses, dear, but I doubt they’ll have any rooms available either, with it being Easter.’
‘I…erm…it’s all right. We’ll work something out. Maybe one of the others will swop with me,’ Eve said, thinking how unlikely that was.
Penny and Tamsin were unlikely to want to share with Ryan and as for Marie and Steve…well, it didn’t seem fair to ask them. Marie had mentioned several times how much she was looking forward to this trip as it meant that she and Steve could spend some time alone together. As the parents of eight-year-old twin girls, enjoying a couple of nights on their own was a rare treat. Eve bit her lip as she went outside to fetch her bag. She had no idea what she was going to do.
‘I’ll sleep in the bus and you can have the room,’ Ryan said as he joined her. He shook his head when she started to protest. ‘No, it’s only fair. After all, you’re doing me a favour, Eve, so why should you be inconvenienced? I’ll be perfectly comfortable in the bus.’
Eve doubted it. She couldn’t imagine that Ryan would get much sleep if he had to use the seats as a bed. He was so tall that his feet would dangle over the end for starters. She was about to point that out when Penny appeared, looking decidedly sheepish.
‘You won’t believe it but I’ve only forgotten my walking boots,’ she explained, pulling a face.
Ryan laughed. ‘It’s easily done. What do you want to do? I can run you into town to see if you can find another pair.’
‘Would you mind?’ Penny perked up. She glanced round, her smile widening when she saw Jack. ‘Ryan’s offered to run me into town to buy some boots—do you want to come?’
‘Yeah. Great.’
Jack returned her smile and Eve could tell that it wasn’t the thought of the outing that was making him look so cheerful. There was obviously something going on between him and Penny.
For some reason the thought was depressing. It never normally bothered her when she saw couples who were obviously happy to be with one another but today it did. When Ryan asked her if she wanted to tag along for the ride, she declined. It wouldn’t help to play gooseberry; it would only make her feel worse, although if she and Ryan were together that would be a different matter.
Eve cut short that thought and picked up her bag. She took it up to her room and started to unpack: toiletries, clean undies, a sweater to wear that night for dinner. She sighed as she laid the sweater on the bed because there was no point pretending. The thought of herself and Ryan being a couple was a far more attractive prospect than she would have believed. She could imagine them going out and having fun together. She could imagine them staying in and having fun too!
Heat flowed through her and it shocked her that she didn’t find the prospect of intimacy as terrifying as it had been. Did it mean that she was over the worst? She hoped so. She wanted to be able to look forward to a life untainted by past experiences and make plans for the future. Would Ryan be part of that future? Although he’d definitely kick-started the healing process—she was absolutely sure about that—whether he would play a role in her future was another matter.
Picking up her toilet bag, Eve went into the bathroom and arranged everything neatly on the shelf. It was better to focus on practicalities than dream about a future that might never materialise. That was the mistake she’d made with Damien; she had imagined the wonderful life they would have and had held onto the dream long after it had become clear that it wasn’t going to happen. She would be a fool to do it again and end up with her life in tatters once more.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THEY DECIDED TO eat at the local pub that night. It was just a short walk from the guest house, which saved them having to drive. It was still very cold, much colder than Ryan had expected, and he was a little concerned about the impact it could have on their plans. However, he decided not to say anything in case it spoiled the evening. If the guide he’d hired had any reservations about them making the climb, they would call it off and hope that their sponsors would support them if they tried again later in the year.
‘Right, so what’s it to be, folks? The first round’s on me.’ He smiled around the table, trying not to let his gaze linger on Eve, but it was impossible when she looked so lovely. His heart picked up its beat as he drank in every detail from the fluffy peach sweater that just hinted at the soft curves beneath to the well-worn jeans that encased her shapely legs. She’d left her hair loose again and his hands clenched as he fought to resist the urge to feel how silky it was. Everything about her was soft, gentle, womanly, and despite his best efforts, he couldn’t help responding.
‘Hello! Come in, Ryan. Are you receiving me?’
Ryan jumped when Marie tapped him none too gently on the arm. ‘Sorry! Just having a senior moment,’ he said hastily, using the first excuse that came to mind.
‘Hmm, is that what it was?’ Marie retorted, giving him an old-fashioned look. She glanced pointedly at Eve and Ryan swallowed his groan.
If Marie had realised why he was so distracted, it wouldn’t be long before Eve reached the same conclusion. The thought was more than he could handle and he swiftly changed the subject. ‘So what’s it to be, then? Marie, you go first as you’re obviously in dire need of alcoholic refreshment.’
He made a note of their orders and went to the bar. The pretty young waitress offered to bring their drinks over so he picked up a handful of menus and took them back to the table. ‘Here you go. See what you fancy.’
He handed Eve a menu, feeling his heart leap when she smiled at him. Sitting down, he focused diligently on the dishes on offer. It was foolish to imagine that Eve had saved her warmest smile for him. After all, she had smiled just as warmly at Jack and Owen.
The thought was like a dousing of cold water and it soon rid him of any more fanciful notions. Ryan decided what he wanted and gave his order to the waitress when she brought their drinks across, responding automatically when she started flirting with him. Tamsin
chuckled as the girl reluctantly left.
‘Not lost the old Sullivan magic, eh, Ryan?’ She turned to Jack and Owen. ‘I hope you guys are taking note of how it’s done. It could stand you in good stead in the future!’
Everyone laughed, Ryan included, although it was hard to drum up any real amusement. He glanced at Eve and felt his heart sink. Even though she was laughing, he had a feeling that she didn’t find it funny. Why not? Because it reminded her of how her ex had behaved? He’d been a flirt, too, although Ryan hated to think that he had anything in common with the other man. Nevertheless, it could well appear that way to Eve.
The thought plagued him all through dinner. Although the food was good, he barely noticed what he ate. It was a relief when everyone finished and decided to return to the guest house. Eve went on ahead with Tamsin and Marie so he didn’t get the chance to say anything to her. Penny and Jack were trailing behind and he knew they’d be the butt of a lot of good-natured teasing in the morning, not that it would bother them.
He sighed as he found himself wishing that Eve had reached that point, that any comments about her and a man would be taken in good part and not trigger a load of terrible memories. Until that happened, she would never be truly free of the past and it hurt to know that it could be years before it happened. Eve didn’t deserve any of this. She really didn’t!
They reached the guest house and Ryan hung back, not wanting the others to know that he planned to sleep on the bus when it would invite a lot of awkward questions. He waited until Penny and Jack were safely inside before he unlocked the bus, grimacing when he was greeted by a blast of chilly air. It wouldn’t have been his first choice to sleep in here but he’d survive. And it was a lot better than upsetting Eve.
* * *
Eve couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned for over an hour but it was no use; she couldn’t stop thinking about Ryan sleeping on the bus. It was bitterly cold and he’d be frozen if he had to spend the night out there. It wasn’t fair when he was setting off on this challenge the following day. He needed a good night’s sleep otherwise he might not make it back safely.
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