The thought had her leaping out of bed. Dragging her coat over her pyjamas, she opened the door. It was almost midnight and there was no sound from the other bedrooms as she crept along the landing. Everyone was making sure they got a good night’s rest in readiness for the task ahead and the thought reinforced her feeling that it was wrong to allow Ryan to camp out on the bus. If he had to drop out because he was exhausted, she would never forgive herself!
Eve ran downstairs and unlocked the front door. She could see a light on in the minibus and sighed. Obviously, Ryan wasn’t asleep and she felt guiltier than ever. Opening the door, she climbed into the bus and spotted him lying curled up across a row of seats. He was still wearing his clothes and from the look of it several other layers too in an attempt to ward off the cold. He sat up when he heard her come in and she saw the surprise on his face.
‘Eve! What is it? Has something happened?’
‘No. I couldn’t sleep for worrying about you being out here,’ she told him bluntly. ‘It’s not fair, Ryan. You need a good night’s sleep if you’re to complete this challenge.’
‘I’m fine,’ he assured her, but she didn’t believe him.
‘So why aren’t you asleep? Why are you lying there wide awake at this hour?’ She glared at him. ‘I’ll tell you why. You can’t sleep because it’s freezing cold in here. It’s ridiculous, Ryan, really it is.’
‘So what do you suggest? That we swop places?’ He shook his head. ‘No way. You’re not spending the night out here, Eve. I won’t let you.’
‘In that case, we shall have to act like grown-ups and share.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
He sounded so shocked that Eve experienced a momentary doubt before she dismissed it. It was the only sensible solution. She and Ryan would have to share the room and that was that.
‘You heard me. We’ll share the room. It’s a twin so it’s not like we’ll be in the same bed.’ She swung round before he could say anything. ‘I’ll leave the door on the latch for you.’
Eve made her way back inside, refusing to allow the pictures that were clamouring to break free to fill her mind. She and Ryan were friends and if they couldn’t share a room for the night then it was a sorry state of affairs. She hurried back to the bedroom, taking off her coat and climbing into one of the twin beds. She heard a floorboard creak as someone came along the landing then a pause before the door opened and Ryan appeared.
‘Are you absolutely sure about this, Eve?’
Eve could hear the indecision in his voice and was overwhelmed by misgivings all of a sudden. She had never envisaged sharing a room with him or any other man. The very idea had terrified her, in fact. However, if she didn’t do this, and Ryan failed to complete the challenge, she would always regret it.
‘Of course I’m sure,’ she said with as much confidence as she could muster. ‘I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise.’
‘In that case, thanks.’
He closed the door and took off his coat and hung it on the hook. A fleece jacket came next and a sweater until he was down to a short-sleeved T-shirt. Eve took one look at the muscular width of his back and gulped. It was a long time since she’d been in this position, shut up in a bedroom with a man wearing only a minimal amount of clothing!
Rolling onto her side, she closed her eyes, deciding it would be easier not to watch. However, with her vision impaired, her other senses came into play. There was a soft thud as Ryan kicked off his trainers, followed by the rustle of denim as he removed his jeans, and she bit back a groan. It was even worse with her eyes closed because now her imagination was filling in the gaps. Would he strip completely and sleep in the buff? A lot of men preferred not to wear any clothing in bed so was Ryan one of them?
Her mind raced off with the thought, conjuring up a picture of him stark naked, and she buried her face in the pillow. All she could see in her mind’s eye was his tall figure in all its splendour—those broad shoulders and well-muscled chest, the narrow hips and muscular thighs…
‘Night-night, Eve, sleep tight. Mind the bugs don’t bite, as my mum used to say when we were kids.’
There was a hint of laughter in his voice and Eve’s face flamed. She was glad of the pillow because it hid her embarrassment. Had Ryan guessed what she was thinking? Probably!
The thought was more than she could bear. Reaching out, she switched off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. She wasn’t sure which was worse, the fact that her treacherous imagination had seen fit to conjure up that picture of him or that he had guessed. Curling up into a tight little ball, she tried to ignore the heat that was flowing through her veins. She needed to sleep if only to stop her imagination running riot.
Cotton rustled, a pillow was thumped, and Eve realised it wasn’t going to happen. There was no way that she’d be able to sleep with Ryan lying a couple of feet away from her. She groaned softly and heard him sigh.
‘This isn’t going to work, is it, Eve? It was madness to think it would.’ She heard the bed creak as he got up. ‘I’m going back to the bus. That way at least one of us will get some sleep.’
‘No, don’t!’ Eve sat up and switched on the lamp. She gulped as she was met by the sight of his nearly naked body. Contrary to what she had thought, he was wearing some clothes. However, the black jersey trunks left very little to the imagination. She looked up, keeping her eyes focused on his face. ‘I won’t let you sleep on the bus. It isn’t fair.’
‘Neither is this.’ He ran his hands through his hair and she could tell how frustrated he felt, and no wonder. It had been her decision to invite him to share the room after all.
‘I’m sorry. It’s just that I haven’t shared a room with anyone since…well…’ She broke off, unable to continue.
‘I understand, Eve, really I do.’ He came and sat down on the edge of her bed and his expression was so gentle that it brought tears to her eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had cared about her feelings this much. He sighed softly. ‘Don’t cry, Eve. I can’t bear to know that I’ve upset you.’
‘You haven’t. It’s this situation. I hate it that I feel this way yet I can’t seem to stop.’
‘But you’re getting better.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘You kissed my mum this morning, didn’t you? That was a real step forward.’
‘Yes, it was,’ she agreed slowly. ‘I would never have done that a couple of weeks ago.’
‘Exactly.’ Reaching out, he wiped away her tears with his fingers and smiled at her. ‘You’re making amazing progress, Eve, and I’m really proud of you. I know you’ll beat this one day and I’ll be right there, cheering you on, too.’
‘You’re really kind, Ryan,’ she said, her voice thickening with emotion. ‘I don’t know why you want to help me but I appreciate it.’
‘I want to help because we’re friends and I care about you, Eve. It’s as simple as that.’ He smiled at her. ‘Now I have a suggestion, although I’m not sure how you’ll feel about it so I want you to be honest with me. I won’t be offended if you say no but it might help us both get some sleep.’
‘What is it?’ she asked cautiously.
‘That we sleep together in the same bed. Not sleep together in that way, obviously. I’m not suggesting that. But if we share a bed then every time I roll over you won’t be wondering what I’m doing and fearing the worst!’
He laughed and amazingly Eve laughed too. It was so exactly what would have happened that she couldn’t helped being amused. ‘Hmm, you don’t do mind-reading in your spare time, do you, Dr Sullivan?’
‘How did you guess?’ He sobered abruptly. ‘I swear that I won’t try anything, Eve. So what do you think? Would it help?’
‘Perhaps.’ She bit her lip then suddenly made up her mind. ‘Let’s give a try. If it doesn’t work, you can always go back to your own bed.’
‘Precisely.’ He turned back the quilt and slid in beside her. ‘Come on—budge up, bed-hog.’
‘Who are you calling a
bed-hog?’ Eve demanded as she scooted over to give him some room.
She tensed when she felt his body brush against hers as he made himself comfortable. It was Ryan and he would never hurt her, she reminded herself, and after a moment managed to relax. Closing her eyes, she let her mind drift, surprised by how comfortable she felt. Lying next to Ryan wasn’t scary at all. On the contrary, it made her feel safe and wonderfully secure. Her breath caught. It also made her feel like her.
* * *
Six o’clock and the sun was streaming in through the window. Ryan stretched luxuriously. He hadn’t expected to feel this good after a night on the bus…
His mind suddenly joined up the dots and his eyes flew open, although it took him a second to believe what he was seeing, which was the back of Eve’s head. Her red-gold hair was spread across the pillow, leaving the nape of her neck exposed, and he gulped. He could imagine pressing his lips to that sweet spot, tasting the satiny warmth of her skin.
And how she would react if he did!
He bit back a groan. Eve had trusted him last night and it had been such a huge step for her that he wouldn’t do anything that might cause him to lose that trust. Tossing back the quilt, he made for the bathroom. A cold shower should curtail any more such urges.
Ten minutes later, cold inside and out, he went back into the bedroom. Eve was awake and he was glad that he had appropriated the largest towel for his use. The cold water may have worked but its effects were proving to be purely temporary, unfortunately.
‘Good morning, and I’m pleased to say that it looks like a really lovely morning too.’ He swept open the curtains like a weather man on steroids. ‘See! A perfect day to go climbing.’
‘That’s good news.’
She sat up and scooped back her hair, fastening a band around it to hold it back from her face, and Ryan only just managed to stop himself protesting. However, it wasn’t his place to comment on her hairstyle. Friends they were and friends they had to remain, even if his body wasn’t completely enamoured with the idea.
He hurriedly picked up his holdall as parts of him that had been frozen into submission began to thaw out. ‘I’ll just commandeer the bathroom again while I get dressed. Won’t be a sec.’
He shot through the door, closing it thankfully behind him. That had been a close call, although he doubted if Eve had realised why he’d made such a speedy exit. He sighed as he took fresh underwear out of the bag. He didn’t want to feel this way but he couldn’t help it. If it had been a purely physical response he could have dealt with it but he knew in his heart it was more than that. He was attracted to Eve not only for her looks but because of who she was—a brave, funny, caring woman who would steal his heart if he weren’t careful.
Ryan took a deep breath as he dragged a clean T-shirt over his head. Somehow he had to stay strong, had to resist, had to protect her. The one thing he must never do was fall in love with Eve or allow her to fall in love with him when it would ruin her life all over again.
CHAPTER NINE
AS SOON AS breakfast was finished they brought their bags downstairs and paid the bill. Eve was a little embarrassed when Ryan insisted on paying for their room and refused to let her go halves. Although she understood that he felt it was only right that he should cover her expenses when she was filling in for Harry Summers, she was aware of how it must appear to the rest of the group. Nobody had commented on them sharing a room, although she wasn’t foolish enough to think it had gone unnoticed. There would be a lot of speculation about their relationship.
They started loading the minibus, which took a surprisingly long time. They worked in pairs, checking their own equipment first then getting their buddy to check it and make sure nothing was missing. Eve acted as Ryan’s buddy, marking off everything on the list. Once that was done they loaded the water butts into the back. Mrs Mackinnon had allowed them to fill them up in her kitchen, although for the life of her Eve couldn’t understand why they needed to take so much water with them and said so.
‘You get very dehydrated at high altitudes,’ Ryan explained, closing the van doors. ‘We’ll each need to carry bottles of water with us and it’s easier if we can fill them up from the butts.’
‘Oh, I see. I must confess I did wonder if you were expecting a drought.’
Ryan laughed. ‘Not in Scotland, no, although I’ll have to make provision for it if I do the Sahara walk later on this year.’
‘You’re doing another challenge!’ she exclaimed as they boarded the bus.
‘I hope so.’ He waited for her to slip into the row of seats and sat beside her. ‘It’s still not finalised, mainly because there’s been some unrest in the area. Hopefully, things will calm down soon and it can go ahead.’
‘I see.’
Eve felt alarm run through her. She hated the thought of Ryan putting himself in danger, although she wasn’t sure if it was her place to say so. In the end she stayed silent, not that anyone noticed. Everyone was in very high spirits and talked non-stop as they drove to the Glen Nevis Visitor centre where Ryan had arranged to meet their guide. Steve had mentioned over lunch that he would return to Fort William with the minibus after they had unloaded their gear. He needed to get some sleep as he would be driving through the night. Eve wasn’t sure what she was expected to do. As the team’s medic, surely she should stay? As soon as they’d finished sorting out their equipment, she asked Ryan.
‘It’ll be best if you go back with Steve. The visitor centre closes at five p.m. at this time of the year and there’s no point you hanging around in the cold.’ He checked his notes. ‘We’re hoping to be back down by nine so you can come back and meet us then.’
‘But what happens if someone has an accident?’ she protested. ‘There’s no point my coming if I’m not around to help.’
‘If anything happens, I’ll phone Steve and he can bring you back.’
‘You’re sure your phone will work up here?’ she said sceptically, glancing at the surrounding mountains.
‘Some mobiles can get a signal and others can’t, so if my phone won’t work, someone else’s probably will. Anyway, Tom Fraser, our guide, assured me that he’d be able to summon help if need be.’
‘Oh, right. I see.’ Eve couldn’t help feeling disappointed at the thought of being of so little use and Ryan obviously realised it.
‘You’re not getting off as lightly as you think.’ He grinned at her. ‘We’re expecting you and Steve to rustle up a tasty little gourmet snack for when we get back. I hope your culinary skills are up to satisfying six hungry climbers.’
‘I’ll do my best.’ Eve laughed, appreciating the fact that he was concerned about her feelings when there were so many more important things to worry about. ‘However, I should warn you that cordon bleu might be a tad beyond my capabilities. How does a pot of instant noodles grab you?’
He rolled his eyes. ‘It doesn’t!’
They both burst out laughing and Marie, who happened to be passing on her way to use the bathroom in the visitor’s centre, grinned at them. ‘Hmm, are you sure you two didn’t arrange for Harry to have that accident? You look very cosy together, I must say.’
She carried on before either of them could say anything, not that Eve could think of very much. It was only what she had suspected after all, that the rest of the group would start speculating about her and Ryan. Ryan sighed. ‘Sorry about that. Marie doesn’t mean any harm but I rather think she’s put two and two together and come up with ten.’
‘It’s only to be expected,’ Eve said lightly, not wanting to cause a fuss.
‘Probably. But how do you feel about it? I’d hate to think that you felt, well, uncomfortable about folk assuming we’re a couple. If you do then I shall make it clear that we’re not.’
‘I doubt they’d believe you after last night,’ she pointed out. ‘We did share a room, Ryan.’
‘Yes, and nothing happened.’ He touched her hand and she could hear the sincerity in his voice. ‘Thank you
for trusting me, Eve. It meant a lot.’
‘Thank you for making me trust you,’ she said with equal sincerity. She looked into his eyes and all of a sudden it felt as though a huge chunk of fear had melted away. ‘It meant an awful lot to me, too, Ryan.’
‘I’m glad.’ His eyes darkened and she knew he was going to say something, only just then a battered old vehicle drew up in the car park. A tall man with a shock of bright red hair jumped out and came over to them.
‘Dr Sullivan?’ he said in a soft Scottish burr. ‘I’m Tom Fraser, your guide.’
The two men shook hands and immediately turned their attention to the forthcoming climb. Eve moved away and let them get on with it. She felt very strange, sort of shivery inside, as though something momentous had happened. She bit her lip as she went back to the bus and told Steve that she would be returning to Fort William with him.
The fear that she had carried around with her for so long had suddenly lifted and it was a strange feeling not to have its weight bowing her down. She felt free for the first time in years and it was slightly scary to shake off the constraints and not have to impose all those restrictions on her life.
She glanced over her shoulder, feeling her heart jolt as her eyes alighted on Ryan. He was responsible for this change in her and she would always be grateful to him. Maybe she hadn’t fully got back to being the person she had been but she was on her way and knew that one day she would find herself again. Would Ryan still be around to witness the metamorphosis, though? She hoped so, hoped for it with every scrap of her being, although she mustn’t set her heart on it. Having seen the way he had flirted with that waitress, it was clear that he still enjoyed playing the field. It would be foolish to think he was ready for commitment.
She sighed. Although having Ryan around might make her life complete, it could turn out to be nothing more than a pipe dream.
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