Sive
My heart feels like somebody has shredded it with a blunt knife. But at least, I can feel something. I’ve been numb since that fatal night when I killed my stepfather. His death made me feel relief. I don’t know why I’m so unemotional about it. Maybe I’m a bad person, but I’m happy he’s six feet under.
Losing my baby made part of me die.
I’ve become a ghost among people because of what happened to me. I’m the faded memory of Sive. I’m dead inside.
My hand jerks up, and I brush the eye-patch covering my blind eye. I didn’t care until I saw Axel. For one desperate moment, I wanted to be perfectly beautiful to him.
Amanda is holding me in her protective embrace, whispering soothing words into my ear as we get in her car.
“He looks horrible,” I sign to her. Amanda is a very eager student of the sign language and we practice every day. “He looks like he isn’t sleeping at all.”
“Axel deserves the worst case of insomnia possible,” Amanda says and puts her hands on the steering wheel. “Don’t think about him. He’s a grown up man. He can manage.”
She sighs and lowers her head. I know she’s torn because of what happened to Axel and me. There is still anger in her, but the truth is that Axel is her son. He’s never stopped being her son. She cares for him, and her heart must bleed each time she sees him like today—broken, exhausted. Desperate.
Surprisingly, the memory of my trip to Europe flashes through my head. My mother took me to England when I was eleven. We visited medieval churches because she sought inspiration.
I remember those cold interiors made of stone, exhaling the air of the past. Each time, I stood below the vaulted ceiling and wondered what had happened to those people who had entered the church before me.
They were gone, dead, buried in the past. A sense of irreversibility pervaded my veins.
I feel the same now. I want to undo the things that happened to me, but I’m unable.
The car pulls forward and Amanda wipes her nose with the back of her hand.
“What do you want for supper?” she asks. “Pancakes?”
“Yyes.”
She loves cooking for me. She loves plaiting my hair and adorning it with pins and flowers. I think I fulfil her dream of having a daughter.
Amanda and Boulder fulfil my dream of having a real family. I’m happy with them.
We stop in front of Boulder’s house and Amanda takes a deep breath, her fingers tightening the grip on the steering wheel.
“He would have found a way to be with you,” she says quietly. “You know that, don’t you?”
I don’t know anything, but I nod at her even though her words cause a stabbing pain to course through my chest. Tears prick my eyes. Something heavy sits on my chest, and I can’t breathe.
“Think about it,” Amanda adds. “I don’t want to force you to anything; just do me a favour and think about it.”
“I will think about it,” I sign.
We get out of the car and walk towards the front door. I enter the house and remove my shoes in the square hall, placing them neatly below the row of iron hooks for outer clothing then catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. It hangs above the side table holding three thick candles and two vases with flowers. They’re never empty. Axel sends me a bunch of flowers every day. The whole house is filled with the richness of colours and scents, resembling a botanical garden. I smell roses, lilies and orchids. My fingers trace the crevice between my breasts. The engagement ring from Axel is hidden under my dress. Amanda bought me a chain made of white gold to wear the ring like this. I wanted to return the ring to her, but she insisted that I should keep it.
We go to the kitchen and Amanda shoves me to sit at the table. She starts bustling between the fridge and oven.
Soon, her pancakes arrive on the table and we eat them.
Blaze brings Boulder after ten and the three of us watch a movie. Zane joins us half an hour later. He settles himself into the couch next to me.
“Nervous?” Amanda asks from her flowery armchair. “The wedding is in two weeks.”
“I’m never nervous,” Zane says with humour.
He’s lying. One glance at him tells me that he’s very nervous.
“The boys say that she’s a beautiful girl,” Amanda says.
Zane nods at her. “Very beautiful. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He glances at me and kisses the top of my head. “Except our little mermaid.” His arm wraps around me protectively.
The warm vibes of our newly found friendship prick my soul.
“You may be disappointed,” Amanda says.
“I will make it work,” Zane says in a firm voice. “I will respect her and love her. She will be happy with me.” His voice has a slight tremor.
“Every girl would be happy with being your wife, sweetie,” Amanda says. “It’s just... The circumstances are not—“
“Ma,” Zane says. “Don’t worry. It will work.”
Boulder grins and wolfs down his pancake.
“What about you?” Zane says and looks at me with concern. “That animal of yours got drunk and offended every woman in the bar.”
“Zane,” Amanda growls.
“Axel made the wrong decision,” Zane says. “That’s all. People sometimes make the wrong decisions.”
“Sive needs more time,” Amanda says.
My heart stops beating as Zane tightens the embrace around me. A sudden urge runs through my mind. I want to fly across the town and fall into Axel’s arms, feel his body against mine, inhale his scent. Kiss him.
My fingers roll into fists as my soul turns into a piece of ice. I’m numb again. I just want to go to bed and sleep for eternity.
Chapter 29
Axel
I move my feet as the priest’s monotonous voice makes me yawn. I’m standing at the altar in Samael’s garden beside my brother and his bride. The white translucent fabric waves behind the priest as my eyes sweep over two garlands above him. My head turns and I see Sive out of the corner of my eye. She’s sitting between Ma and Dad. My sad little mermaid.
Fury courses through me. It should be our wedding, Sive and I should be standing at the altar.
My fingers roll into fists. Something hardens inside me as though a stream of liquid steel is turning solid. I will buy Sive the most beautiful wedding gown in the world. I will aim my gun at the priest’s temple and force him to make Sive my wife. I will force Sive to love me again.
Zane nudges my chest with his elbow, and I take the wedding rings out of the pocket of my jacket. The words of the vows drift to my ears like echoes as my glance meets Sive’s. She smiles at me only to avert her good eye the next moment.
The wedding guests clap their hands as Zane brushes Brianna’s lips with his and she winces like she is about to throw up. I think it’s a pretty good beginning of their marriage.
Samael grins like a contended well-fed predator. That dick insisted on the catholic ceremony like it could wipe away all the lives he’s ended with no remorse.
Everything turns blurry to me—the speeches, toasts, first dance.
I sit at a round table dressed in red and white colours, and pour vodka into my throat then glare at the wedding guests around me. Sive is sitting at another table across the white tent spreading like a dome above the tables. Ma leans towards her and whispers something into her ear.
I haven’t talked to my mermaid since I saw her in the ‘Jilly Jet’. My eyes sweep over Samael’s two bulls circling around the tent. They’re moving like two leopards ready to rip out someone’s throat at any moment.
Zane is dancing with his newlywed wife. He seems to be happy. Brianna not so much though. She’s wearing a black mourning gown, after all. It makes her look like a 19th century governess.
I gaze at Sive. Ma made a braid of her hair and bought her a beautiful turquoise dress. My mermaid looks like a princess. Our glances meet and she averts her eye.
I stop thinking.
An unstoppable force replaces my rationality. My body jerks up and I stride over towards Sive, elbowing my way through the dancing guests. I stop at the table and grab Sive’s arm, pulling her into my embrace. Ma frowns at me but doesn’t comment. Dad snarls at me then gives me an encouraging nod.
Sive gasps convulsively as I drag her to the dance floor and wrap my arms around her. We don’t move. We’re just standing, clenched together, and Sive trembles in my arms.
It feels so fucking good to have so close to me. Like I’m alive again. Like I’ve awakened from a nightmare. The subtle vibes of hope rush through me.
“Come back to me,” I say into her ear and search for those seductive moist lips of hers.
She stiffens against me, tries to pull away, but I hold her in place and kiss her until I sense that her resistance crumbles.
I grip her waist and lift her off the ground in an abrupt motion. Her eye flutters like it has made her dizzy. People laugh behind me as Sive’s thighs wrap around my waist and I carry her towards Samael’s house. Good girl. She knows that I’m stronger than her and that I’m not going to give up this time.
We need more privacy for talking or fucking, I’m unsure which should be first. My dick wants to fuck.
“You’re so beautiful,” I say into her ear as we immerse ourselves into the coolness of the house.
The richness and darkness of the hall envelops us like we’ve moved back in time. Two bulls pass me, shooting me cold glances.
I cross the hall and climb the stairs. My groin aches. My eyes sweep over the walls to find a hideout. I’m going to sink my hard dick into Sive now. We can talk later. My eyes spot a curtain covering a wide niche so I walk there and slam Sive on the wall. She groans and widens her eye at me. I pull at her eye-patch and take it off her, tossing it onto the floor. Her iris is damaged and a scar runs across her eye, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m gazing at the most beautiful woman in the world. Her cheeks burn with bright red and she jerks her hand up to cover her blind eye but I don’t allow her to do that.
“You’re beautiful,” I say. “And mine. Forever. Understood? You. Are. Mine.”
Tears trickle down her cheeks. I don’t know what else to say so I press my lips against hers and kiss her sobs. Salt pricks my tongue and a tingle spreads across my skin. My palm strokes her ass cheek and I gather her dress up to her waist.
I should say something powerful, but my brain fails me. A wild uncontrollable need floods my mind and body. I have to be close with Sive. We will be as one like before all that mess happened.
I move her panties to the side then release my throbbing cock from my pants and line it up with her entrance. She gulps as I push in and bury myself inside her drenched pussy to the root.
“Fuck, Sive, I’ve missed that so much.” My body presses against hers and I huff, trying not to lose control.
Her hot pussy clamps down on my cock and a wave of heat runs to my toes. I rest my forearms at either side of her head and gaze at her. She’s gasping. Digging her fingers into my shoulders. Wincing in both pain and pleasure.
“There’s been no woman in my life since I met you,” I say.
I just want her to know that. I would have killed every woman had they dared touch me. Only Sive can touch me.
Sive nods at me. Her eyes flutter and she arches her neck back. Her thighs spread wide.
She wants her release as badly as I want mine.
I will give her pleasure. Then I will give her my whole love. I will worship her for the rest of my life. She will never cry because of me again.
I plunge my hand between our bodies and reach to her clitoris. Sive starts panting as I stroke her nub with my thumb. My other hand travels to the back of her neck and I hold her wiggling body in place. Then I watch her unearthly face sharpening with pleasure as she cums on my cock. Her walls contract around me and I feel like I’m ascending, melting, touching something primeval and eternal. Everything inside me explodes as I empty myself into her pussy.
We slide down to sit on the cold floor and I enclose her in my arms.
“We are together again, right?” I rasp. “And you will be my wife, right?”
Sive squeaks into my ear so I take it as ‘yes’.
“I will never hurt you again,” I say. “I swear on my mother. We belong to each other, Sive. Forever.”
Her body tenses. “For-evv-er.”
“Don’t say anything, baby. Just let me love you. I’ll take care of everything.”
My mouth covers hers and we kiss as I stroke her head and ruin her braid.
We rest for a few minutes then Sive visits the bathroom as I wait for her outside. Samael emerges from one of the rooms and walks towards me.
“There are bedrooms in the house,” he says as his lips curl into a cold sarcastic smile.
My fingers thread through my hair. Of course, there are cameras everywhere. His men must have had fun watching Sive and me. “The niche was perfect.”
He slaps me on the back. “You and that little girl of yours are a perfect match.”
A thought hits me. He is trying to be nice. It’s fucking unnerving. Creepy, even.
I nod. “Brianna and Zane are a perfect match too.”
Samael chuckles. “She’s like her mother. Wild and independent. Your brother needs to learn how to handle her.” His face softens for an instant as his thoughts seem to wander off to somewhere very far from here. “I promised Brianna’s mother that our daughter would be safe and happy.” The dark shadow of anger sharpens his face as though he regrets his unexpected honesty.
“I haven’t seen Brianna’s mother—“
“For a reason. If you want to see her, she’s in the farther end of the garden. Buried between my mother and father.”
Indeed, I noticed a small burial ground hidden behind a wall of greenery. I restrain myself from asking about his wife. She’s Russian according to Kolya. Very rarely does she visit this house. Kolya says she travels a lot.
Samael slaps me on the back again and walks off as Sive joins me.
“We’re going to dance now,” I say, pulling her into my embrace and kissing her forehead.
I can’t dance for shit. In fact, I never dance but I want to entertain Sive. We go to the dancing floor and pretend that we’re dancing. Ma widens her eyes at me and Dad’s jaw drops. Sive shoves my palms off her ass each time I want to squeeze it and I love every second of my life now. A sense of beauty and stability surges through me. It’s like standing on a basic path between endless fields blessed with the summer sunshine. The wheat is dancing with a balm breeze, bringing peace to one’s heart.
“Everything will be fine, baby,” I whisper into Sive’s ear.
I just fucking know that.
Brianna
The torches burn fiercely, creating a misty aura as the swish of the flames blends with the music and the guests’ chatter. Stars twinkle in the cloudless night’s sky. A delicate breeze cools my cheeks as I shudder in my chair.
My eyes flick over Axel. He is sitting next to me, groping that little thing in his arms, completely unconcerned that there are people around them. I try to ignore the fact that his hand has just slipped between her thighs and his enormous tongue has thrust into her mouth, almost choking her. My God, she must wail of pain each time that disgusting giant fucks her.
I can’t grasp what Sive finds so attractive about him. He looks like a wild beast that should be tamed by a taser, the ugliest man I’ve ever seen. He has no face, just scars. I wouldn’t even touch him with a stick. Yet that little Sive loves him with her whole heart. And she’s tamed him.
Zane brushes the lacy collar of my Victorian mourning dress with his fingers. Our glances meet. My heart leaps at the brooding allure of his eyes.
My husband is hot, the hottest man I’ve ever seen. Each time our eyes meet, his own burn with lust but it’s not the lust I tend to see in other men’s glances. Zane wants me. The whole of me. His appearance reminds me of a mysterious broken hero from a p
oem yet at the same time, his being oozes stability and strength. It’s an intoxicating mix.
I didn’t expect that at all. It’s a major complication.
Axel drinks vodka from the bottle and attempts to hand it to Zane.
“No, thanks,” Zane says.
“Why aren’t you drinking?” I ask. “We should get drunk to get through this circus.”
“I want to be fit,” Zane says.
“Fit for what?” I tease.
Zane leans towards me and kisses my cheek. “For fucking my beautiful wife.”
It’s meant only for my ears, but my cheeks heat up like all the guests have heard it, and I feel throbbing between my legs. A sudden pain courses through my heart like an arrow has pierced it, and I inhale deeply.
“Can we sneak out and go to yours?” I ask. “I want more privacy.” I kiss his cheek and stroke it with the back of my knuckles.
“Axel,” Zane says, his voice tinged with a sexy huskiness.
Axel tears his disgusting wet mouth from Sive’s. “What?”
“I want to take my wife to the house,” Zane says. “Your house, I mean.”
“This is your wedding,” Axel says. “You can’t leave now. And by the way, I’m taking Sive to the house. It’s our house now, remember?”
“My daddy will give you a really nice bedroom for tonight,” I say.
Sive bobs her head at Axel like a five-year-old. She’s adorable. The giant’s face softens like he’s a friendly Labrador.
“Do you want to stay here, baby?” Axel asks. There is tenderness in his voice I didn’t expect to hear.
“A-xel,” Sive says.
My God, poor girl. She can barely speak and that eye-patch—
“We can stay here for as long as you want.” Axel sets her on his lap and encloses her with his arms.
His hazy eyes flick over me, sending coldness into my veins. A dreadful thought crosses my head. He would have killed me without hesitation to be with her had he married me. I just know that. He’s madly in love with Sive. He would have put a bullet into the back of my head during our wedding night.
I shudder that thought off my head. Axel and Sive kiss like they are the only occupants of the garden and somebody’s hand clutches my arm. I look over my shoulder. Zane is standing behind me.
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