Even Sinners Have Souls TOO

by Joy, E. n.

  Saturday came too quickly for Vincent. Proving her worth, Celisha had him dressed and alert at the first book signing near the campus of Florida State University. The majority of his supporters that showed up were young, college women. He stopped counting after signing the sixtieth copy of his latest novel.

  The second book signing ranged from supporters young to old. Pictures were taken and hugs were given, but most importantly, books were sold.

  By 10:40 p.m., Vincent was back home. Celisha informed him that the visit to Shana's church was all set. She planned to go as well, bringing along her aunt and Aaron, who she invited as a make-up gesture. Vincent assured her that he would be up and ready. He'd promised the little girl, and this was a promise he planned to keep.

  His crib felt empty without Micki's presence. Even with Rex and Rocky D, he still felt alone. He was unable to fall asleep after restlessly tossing and turning. For the last couple of times he'd tried to enter the bathroom while Micki was in there, he'd found the door locked. Although he didn't make a big deal about it, for some reason he now couldn't get it off of his mind. Micki's funny actions of locking the bathroom door had him feeling uneasy.

  Jumping from the bed, he later found himself in the lit bathroom. He avoided looking into the mirror at himself. He felt stupid for what he was about to do. For what he was about to look for. Micki is not on drugs, he told himself. That thought held no weight when he started searching through her cosmetics. He went through everything with guilt pressing down on him. He found nothing. No drugs, no pills, no type of drug paraphernalia. He was wrong. For the first time in his life, he was glad to be wrong. He felt bad about going through Micki's things, but reasoned that his actions proved that he cared about her?

  While putting things back in place under the sink, he knocked a pack of toilet paper over. Behind it, tucked in the corner, was a leather Bible. He pulled it out. It belonged to his Aunt Diane. She had come to visit him last year for a week, with her nine year old son. Vincent recalled how his little cousin fell in love with Rex and Rocky D. It came second to how he enjoyed hiding things that didn't belong to him. The missing Bible was a big issue before his aunt had left. Now it was found. He would have to remember to call or email her tomorrow to inform her of the discovery.

  The next morning, Vincent was up before sunrise. He managed to shower, eat and get dressed an hour before Celisha showed up to pick him up for church. Once she did arrive, she stood at his door wearing what he sensed was a forced smile. Once they made it outside, he spoke briefly to Aaron, thanking him for feeding his dogs while he was on the road.

  He'd decided that morning that he'd just follow Celisha to Shana's in his Benz CL600 since she had map quested the directions. He wanted to make sure there was plenty of room for all to ride in just the two cars, and more importantly, he knew riding in his own car would avoid an interrogation by Celisha's aunt. . .for now anyway.

  Chapter Eight

  Shana stayed with her mother and cousin in a three bedroom home near Brownsville Middle School. Shana's mother was in her mid forties and favored the thinner version of Star Jones. Since Celisha had spoken to Shana's mother over the phone, she went forward with all the introductions. Shana's mother insisted that everyone call her Claudia. Everyone accepted her hospitality.

  "Mr. Manor," Claudia admired closely.

  "Please," Vincent smiled, "you may call me Vincent."

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Celisha's Aunt Faye nodding her head approvingly. Why did he feel she was waiting for him to say or do something wrong? She had already given his kitted up big-bodied coupe a stern dis- approving look.

  "Okay, Vincent," Claudia spoke. "My daughter will be downstairs in a few minutes. My niece is finishing her hair." She sat in a black cloth recliner facing her four guests who sat in the living room on the matching sofa. "Your personal assistant. . .whom I see is more of a friend," Claudia smiled as she nodded at Celisha, "has told me a few remarkable things about you, Vincent. I did the rest of my homework on you by going online. And, Vincent, I must say you have been blessed. I want to personally thank you for granting Shana's request. She has been talking about this day all week long. She's very happy today because of you, Vincent. I hope what you're doing for Shana hasn't caused any trouble with your book tour."

  "No, ma'am, none at all," Vincent assured her.

  Claudia smiled. "Before we leave, I need to share something with you all. It's about Shana. You will have to understand that my baby is innocent. Her dilemma has not caused my faith to waver with God. I don't' mean to be rude," she paused, "but if you should feel different about my daughter after I tell you her issue, then I'm sure you can find your way out." Claudia took a breath before she continued. "My daughter has AIDS."

  Sympathy covered Celisha's face while Aaron shifted nervously. Aunt Faye murmured a quick, silent prayer. Vincent was expressionless.

  "Shana is fully aware of her sickness and it hasn't been easy for her. She was exposed to the disease by-"

  "Momma, I'm ready!" Shana appeared at the top of the stairs in her Sunday best. Her smile conquered any pity that was held by anyone in the room.

  Vincent came to his feet abruptly. "Your chariot awaits you, Princess Shana."

  "See, Momma! I knew he would come." Shana's smile and voice was working on everyone's emotions.

  Vincent noticed how thin she was. It was hard not to feel saddened. To ignore the hurt, he focused in on her smile. A smile she wore because of him. He took the honor of introducing Shana to Celisha's aunt and Aaron. They both greeted her without an ounce of stigma.

  "Did you put your clothes up, Shana?" her mother asked her.

  "Yes, ma'am." She was still smiling ear to ear, acting shy.

  When Shana's cousin came down, another round of introductions were made. Her name was Takeitha. She was tall and slender, with her hair braided in a hip, up- to-date style. She held a brief conversation with Vincent and thanked him for what he was doing. She mentioned that she was a student at Miami Dade Community College taking classes to become a registered nurse.

  After the brief chit-chat, it was time to go to church. Claudia elected to sit in the back seat with her niece while Shana rode shotgun. Her daughter was acting like it was Christmas Day as Vincent started up the vehicle. He allowed Shana to press the button to open the sunroof. Along the way, he explained every function inside his car and answered all of her questions.

  "How fast can this car go?" Shana asked.

  Vincent grinned. "I'm not sure of the top speed. But one time I hit one-eighty nine."

  "Whoa! That's fast! I like this car. It's pretty." "Just like you," Vincent replied.

  In Celisha's SUV, Aunt Faye and Aaron voiced how surprised they were by Vincent's actions toward Shana. Celisha wasn't. She knew Vincent was the last person to ever place judgment on anybody as he'd had to deal with it most of his life.

  "Vincent's a nice young man," Aunt Faye admitted. She still had her doubts though.

  "I wonder how Shana was exposed to AIDS," Aaron said.

  No one wanted to assume anything, so no one even dared to vocalize their theory.

  Twenty minutes later, they were all inside the packed church. Shana sat next to Vincent on his right, along with her mother and Celisha's aunt. Celisha and Aaron were to his left, along with Claudia's niece.

  Five minutes later, the choir came marching in. They split in two and moved through the three aisles. The entire congregation was on their feet clapping as the joyful voices sang praises. Vincent was filled with pleasant memories. He remembered his days of being a member of the junior choir, singing as a tenor. He knew a white lie was told about his singing abilities after he once sung a solo. The deep embarrassment he felt when holding that microphone left him scarred for life. He would never again be encouraged to sing.

  He used to enjoy choir rehearsal and being in church. It was fun. But unfortunately, he had no relationship with God. In eighth grade, he was drinking forty ounces of Old English b
eer before school, with his best friend. Friday and Saturday nights belonged to the clubs and promiscuous girls. He only thought of church when he was in church. Deep down, he knew he had lived a lie. He wondered how many people around him were lost. Living a lie.

  He glanced down at Shana. She was singing at the top of her lungs with the choir. A beautiful, dying little girl. Why? Situations like Shana's had him questioning life and God. What was the reason for Shana to have AIDS? What purpose would it serve? His life was full of sin. Even now, with Micki. He thought of his younger days. Days of foolishly having unsafe sex with women, and yet he was STD free. He had many questions but was too shallow to sincerely read the Bible.

  The choir marched into the lit retro choir stand behind the altar. They sung two more hymns before the congregation was asked to be seated. The services moved along smoothly. Announcements were made, followed by one of the deacons reminding the congregation of next month's revival. Another hymn was sung before the preacher moved up behind the glossy wooden podi- um. He smiled at his congregation of four hundred strong, as a deaconess handed him a glass of iced water. There was silence as he sipped the water and the choir sat down behind him.

  "Let us bow our heads, saints," he began. "O' heavenly Father, we come before you today asking for peace and acceptance of our fallibility. We ask that you pull us in when we open the door for you. Welcome us into your grace and everlasting love. I pray that you work through me. Guide me. Use me, O', Lord. For none is greater nor higher than you. Through Jesus name I pray, let the church say, 'Amen'."

  "Amen," the entire congregation replied.

  "Good morning, brothers and sisters. And blessed are the little ones," the preacher said, scanning the familiar and unknown faces in front of him. "To those of you that are visitors, I welcome you to God's house. My name is Reverend Jenkins and I love the Lord," he smiled. "Church, before I get into the word today, I want each of you to ask yourself if you really understand the meaning of knowing God. See, I know some of you know of God. But do you know Him in your life?" He scanned the many faces, with his hands bracing the edges of the altar.

  A chorus of "Amens" and "Preach ons!" sounded from the congregation.

  "Let me clear it up for you," Reverend Jenkins said. "See, I know of the mayor of Miami. I know of the governor of this state. I know of T.D. Jakes. I know of Big Shaq on the basketball court. I know of them all. Some of you know your landlord, the bill collectors and you know the friends that sometimes let you down. . .or you might let them down." He smiled as a murmur rose from the congregation.

  "Now stick with me, church. See, knowing of God is not the same as knowing and having Him in your life. I know my wife and kids. They are in my life. I have a bond with them and it's deep. You see my point? I know of T.D. Jakes but I don't know him. Sadly, some of you place God in that first stage. You know His name, but you know nothing about Him. You know nothing of His forgiving mercy. His love. His truth. His laws. His promise of forgiveness. You can't know these things without Him in your life. Just knowing of God will not get you in heaven. Just as my knowing of the mayor will not get me out of a speeding ticket." He laughed.

  "See, our relationship with God needs to be deeper," he continued. "Don't have a limited knowledge of God. Have Him in your life completely. Some of you are lost. And I'll tell you today, this is the place to be found. We don't deal with lost and found cell phones and stuff like that up in God's house. We deal with lost and found souls! Having God in your life is not hard, people," he said sincerely. "We can reach this through Jesus.

  Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled," he quoted St. Matthew 5:6. "The Lord pointed out the difference of one knowing Him and those that had Him in his life." He looked down at his Bible and read. "Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven. But he that doeth the will of my Father. . .which is. . .in heaven," he then went into his sermon, preaching from St. Matthew chapter 7 verses 21-27.

  Vincent absorbed every word. He feared that he was lost, and now it had just been confirmed. His life was not where he wanted it, mainly his soul. His issue with his family took a hard toll on him. His estrangement from them was a part of his life that he was not proud of. It started while he was in prison. With no letters, no visits, blocks on phones and ignored letters, he felt they didn't care. In time, he gave up on reaching out to them. His pain came from not knowing why he was ostracized from his family.

  "Forgiveness," that was a word that Vincent needed to get an understanding of. It had been years since he had spoken to, or seen, his mother. It was a bitter falling-out that left him heartbroken and confused. All he wanted was for her to admit she was wrong for how she treated him; to seek his true forgiveness. Suddenly, he realized he had a greater issue. God was waiting, waiting for him to seek forgiveness and confess his sins. He wondered if God was missing him and still loving him as bad as he missed and loved his mother.

  Vincent was beyond stubborn when it came to him reaching out to his mother first. In his mind, he had done no wrong and should stand his ground. She had driven the fence between them. A tear rolled down his face with thoughts of his mother. Could God fix it? He wiped his eyes, thanking her for, but not accepting the tissue Celisha offered him.

  "I'm okay," he muttered. The choir stood up to sing a soft, slow hymn. He looked at Shana. She had her head down. . .tears streaking her face. "Why are you crying, Shana?" he asked her.

  She looked up, lips quivering. "Because you're sad." Her words touched Vincent. Reaching for the tissue that Celisha had offered, he used it to wipe Shana's tears away. "If me being sad makes you cry, then I won't be sad anymore."

  "Promise, Vincent?" she sniffled.

  "Promise."

  Shana smiled.

  After service, Celisha was starved. Vincent suggested Hardaway's House of Wings on Grand Avenue and asked Claudia if they'd all like to join them. The invitation was accepted and they headed for the restaurant.

  Vincent had to nearly beg Claudia to allow him to pay for their meals. In the end, Claudia gave in. Everyone enjoyed the food, along with the sermon still on their minds.

  Later, out in the parking lot of the restaurant, Aunt Faye exchanged numbers with Claudia. Aunt Faye wanted to invite her and Shana to her church in return. Aaron, Aunt Faye and Celisha said their goodbyes and headed off on their own.

  "Do you need me to run you anywhere?" Vincent glanced at Claudia in the rearview mirror as he drove.

  "I can't impose on you, Vincent," she said from the back seat.

  "Today is Sunday. I don't have anything planned," he said. "Really, I'm free."

  "Well, I do need to do some grocery shopping," Claudia confessed, and on that note, Vincent took her to the grocery store of her choice.

  Vincent was enjoying his time with Shana. Walking with her down the aisles in the grocery store had him contemplating on being a father. After all the shopping was done, Vincent returned to Shana's house and helped carry in the groceries.

  "Vincent," Claudia said, "thank you for your kindness today."

  Vincent was seated at the kitchen table with his tailored, single-breasted jacket on the back of the chair. Claudia had just put away the last of the groceries while Shana was watching television with Claudia's niece.

  "In truth, Claudia," he smiled, "I feel I should be the one thanking you and Shana."

  Claudia folded her hands, smiling at him. "You made my baby very happy today. I don't like to talk about her issue in front of her. It makes her uncomfortable. I'm sorry I was cut off before we left. So, I'll tell you what I was going to say." Claudia took a deep breath and then spoke. "My baby was in a car accident when she was only five. A piece of flying glass struck her leg and she lost a ton of blood before help arrived. At the hospital, she was given some blood to replace what she'd lost. We had no idea the blood was HIV positive." Claudia paused. "When she started getting sick, it was too deep into its stages. Vincent, it's bee
n hard. She started coming home from school crying. Said the other kids were picking on her. Didn't want to sit near her or play with her. I tried to help. The teachers couldn't do much and my baby kept coming home in tears. One day I asked if she wanted a teacher to home school her. Vincent, her smile told me what I needed to do. So, yes, I took her out of school." She looked up to the ceiling, closing her eyes.

  "My baby will be leaving me soon."

  "I'm sorry to hear that," Vincent consoled her. "Um, I assume her list of friends is to a minimum."

  Claudia slowly nodded her head up and down. "My niece helps out a lot. If Shana goes out, it's with my niece."

  Vincent thought for a minute. "Has Shana ever been to the zoo?"

  Claudia pondered a few seconds. "No. She had a field trip planned with her class, but she was taken out of school before she had the chance to go."

  "Well, if it's okay with you, I'd like to change that," he smiled warmly.

  "Vincent, Shana will be attached to you if you spend another second with her. I know you are a very busy man. I don't want any new sorrow in her life. I hope you can understand that."

  "Without a doubt, Claudia. I wouldn't dare tease Shana with my friendship. One that I offer for a lifetime. So, how about the zoo?"

  Claudia nodded. She had prayed for an angel to give Shana a bit of peace. In her heart today, she felt as though her prayers were heard and answered. Claudia and Vincent turned at the sound of Shana running down the stairs. She came into the kitchen wearing a pink and white short set.

  "You're still here?" She halted to a stop when she saw Vincent.

  He smiled. "Yep. Hey, do you know what B.F.F. stands for, Shana?"

  "Yes, sir," she nodded. "It means best friends forever," she smiled.

  "Do you have one?"