Valentine

by Rebecca Farnworth

  'I'm thirty, cheeky pants.' He gave her a considering look and Valentine cared enough about his opinion to flick back her hair, put her shoulders back and stick her chest out. 'I'm guessing two or three years older than you.'

  'Three,' Valentine admitted, slightly peeved that he didn't think she was younger.

  Jack continued, 'I was training to be a barrister but I hated it. Well, I liked the court bit. It was all that slaving over the cases every night that got me, so I jacked it in. I'd always wanted to act, anyway. So how about you?'

  'Well, it's hardly been a glittering career since leaving drama school,' Valentine said dryly. 'I mean, I didn't expect overnight success, but Jesus, it's tough.'

  'So what have you done?' Jack continued. She could tell that he was fresh out of drama school – all these questions. She felt like saying Look I'm twenty-seven and I'm in a frigging off-West end play, go figure! Instead she replied airily, 'Theatre mainly,' praying he wouldn't press her further as she'd only been in small productions, with the exception of a short run in the West End in Jane Eyre. And I've done some TV and a film.' Another prayer that he didn't press her as that included a non-speaking part in an advert for low-fat oven chips (oh the glamour, but at least it hadn't been for feminine hygiene products like one of her friends), a part in The Bill as a heroin addict and shoplifter – but as everyone gets a part in The Bill that didn't really count. Plus she had been a murder victim in Waking the Dead. She was in two scenes: one where she had to scream, just before she was strangled (giving her quite a terrifying double chin worthy of Jabba the Hut, she thought when she saw the episode) and the other when she was lying on the slab, looking blue – definitely not a good colour for her. And there'd been her film role, where she played the wife of a brutal drug dealer who was about to turn him over to the police. It had been a fantastically gritty and demanding part which Valentine had thought was easily her best work, and so had her agent, but unfortunately the film didn't get a distributor and so was only seen at film festivals. She sighed and took a sip of her mineral water. Just talking about her flatlining acting career depressed the hell out of her.

  'Well, I'm sure it's just a matter of time with your talent and good looks,' Jack answered.

  Valentine frowned at him, unable to work out if he was being genuine or taking the piss, so she sarcastically replied, 'Yeah right – in the meantime Keira bloody Knightly has my career.'

  'Um, she's very beautiful, but—' Jack gave her one of his appraising looks again. 'You're much sexier and you've got breasts. So you win.'

  Valentine pulled a face of mock-indignation and put on her best Southern Belle outraged accent. 'Why, Mr Hart, you've only just met me and you mention my breasts!'

  Jack shrugged, 'We're halfway there as I saw your bra at the audition and you've looked inside my shirt. I've got to prepare myself for what will be the awesome wearing of the nipple tassels. Far better if I get your breasts off my chest, so to speak. In fact I think it would be a good idea if you showed me them now and then I can stop fantasising about them,' Jack carried on, his eyes with a mischievous, naughtiest-boy-in-the-school sparkle in them.

  Valentine folded her arms protectively across her chest and said, 'The tassels are still up for discussion.'

  Jack shook his head. 'Oh there will be no discussion; you'd better start practising. I could coach you.'

  'It's not funny, Jack. VPL has booked Twirlies to be the fairies – they're arriving next week.'

  'What are Twirlies?'

  'Professional dancers. I am going to look like a sumo wrestler compared to them.'

  At this Toby, who was sitting next to Jack, gave Valentine a sympathetic look and said, 'Don't worry, Valentine. Jack's making too much of the whole nudity thing because he's new to the business. Do you wear contact lenses?'

  Valentine shook her head, wondering why he'd asked.

  'Oh, it's just that if you did I was going to suggest you didn't wear them on stage. If you can't see anyone else clearly, you imagine that they can't see you either!'

  Valentine smiled, appreciating Toby's effort. 'That would be good, but I've got perfect eyesight and this seems like the one time that will be a disadvantage.'

  'I've got twenty-twenty vision too,' Jack put in. 'And I don't see any problem with that at all.' He winked at Valentine.

  Toby said, 'I don't know why Jack is sounding so pleased with himself. Last I heard Vince had his heart set on having Bottom naked when he was transformed into the donkey.'

  Jack shook his head disbelievingly. 'No way!' But Valentine was secretly pleased to see he looked ever so slightly anxious.

  'I can see why Vince wants that,' she put in, sounding earnest. 'It makes that whole scene between Bottom and Titania more sexually charged and dynamic. You know Vince wants to push the boundaries with the play and get himself a name and what better way than with a bit of male nudity? It always gets the critics very overexcited.'

  Jack's confident persona was crumbling before Valentine's eyes, especially when Toby put in, 'Bloody freezing in that theatre though, isn't it? I can't say that I'd like to get my kit off in those conditions. The cold can do terrible things to a man's . . .' he paused, 'Well there's no way to put it delicately really, is there . . .? To his todger.' At that he slapped Jack heartily on the back and said, 'Cheer up! We could always get in a fluffer before you go on stage; you know, to inject a bit of life in the old boy.' Toby was so clearly taking the piss and Valentine was struggling not to laugh. But Jack was well and truly taken in now.

  'What do you mean, a fluffer? I thought they were only used on porn films.'

  'Oh no! It's an ancient theatre tradition whenever male nudity is involved. Of course the fluffer has to be careful not to overstimulate the member, just do enough to make it look presentable,' Toby deadpanned. 'It's a real art – only an expert can achieve that slight tumescence but not a fully fledged erection, which obviously causes problems.'

  'How come I never heard about this at drama school?' Jack demanded, a picture of outrage.

  'It's just one of those things that they like you to find out for yourself,' Toby said evenly.

  'Well, I'm not going to do it – not the nudity or the fluffer bit. I didn't sign up for this when I accepted the part. I'm going to phone my agent.' And with that he got up and practically ran out of the pub, scrabbling in his pocket for his mobile.

  Toby and Valentine both gave in to the laughter. 'Toby, that was genius!' she spluttered.

  'Not bad was it? I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable about what you have to do.'

  'You're a real sweetheart,' she said and leant over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then laughed again, thinking of the shocked expression on Jack's face.

  After lunch VPL once more corralled the actors into a circle while he stood in the middle. 'OK, listen up everybody. Before we talk about the text anymore,' – translation, thought Valentine, before I talk about the text anymore – 'I thought we'd spend some time doing some trust exercises. Because the play is going to contain some nudity we need to really come together and bond as a company.' VPL looked even more intense than usual and Valentine sneaked a glance at Jack, pointed at him and mouthed, 'You naked.' Jack frowned; he obviously hadn't discovered Toby's joke yet. But then he mouthed back, 'You nipple tassels.' Valentine stuck her tongue out.

  Unfortunately this was the moment VPL chose to look at her. 'Anything you want to share, Valentine?' he asked sarcastically, 'because sharing and trust is going to be very important for all of us.'

  Valentine shook her head, having a feeling that she'd be for it now. 'OK, you can be the first to experience the trust that we're going to have. I want you to stand in the middle of the circle.'

  Shit! Valentine hated trust games. HATED them! Extremely reluctantly she got up and walked into the middle of the circle. She felt horribly exposed. 'Now everyone come closer and form a tighter circle round Valentine,' VPL continued. 'Valentine, I want you to close your eyes and fall forward.
The others will catch you and then push you back so you are moved round the circle.' The rest of the company had now regrouped themselves around her. 'OK, we're ready for you,' VPL spoke. 'Just close your eyes and fall backwards.'

  Very reluctantly Valentine did as she was told. There was that sickening moment of falling through the air when it felt like no one was going to catch her and then someone did and gently pushed her backwards. She tried to relax, but it was not a pleasant sensation as she was passed round the circle, not knowing who was touching her. Suddenly she was pushed forward and caught under the arms by someone who staggered under the weight. 'Christ! I think I've put my back out!' It was Xander. She opened her eyes. Great, now she felt like a complete porker. So much for building trust.

  'What? Over a little slip of a thing like Valentine?' Jack moved in front of Valentine and to her surprise picked her up and swung her round in his arms as if she weighed very little. When in fact at last weigh-in it was nine and a half stone. It was such a delightful sensation and so sweet of Jack, Valentine couldn't help laughing.

  'You can put me down now,' she said after he'd swung her round a couple of times, 'and thank you.'

  After he'd put her down he bowed and kissed her hand. 'Any time.'

  Valentine felt swept off her feet in more ways than one.

  5

  Much Ado About Something

  Valentine had always thought that Lauren was completely unshockable, but as she told her the news about her father later that night her friend was left speechless. Not even a motherfucker escaped her as she sat there open-mouthed. Finally she pulled herself together enough to ask, 'So how do you feel, V?'

  Valentine sighed. 'All over the place. Part of me wishes that mum and Chris had told me the truth, but then again I understand why they didn't. I don't know if I could have handled knowing that my real dad didn't want anything to do with me.'

  'You'd have ended up like me after my dad walked out – hard-hearted and unable to commit, but with a core of steel,' Lauren only half-joked. Then she shook her head, reassessing. 'No, you would have tortured yourself and it would have shredded your self-esteem. I can see exactly why your mum didn't want to tell you. But now you know, what are you going to do?'

  Valentine shrugged. 'I just don't know. I mean Chris, to all intents and purposes, was my dad. Maybe I should forget about Piers. I've lived twenty-seven years without him and it's been fine, but then I think maybe I should contact him and try and get to know him. I feel that if I don't I might not ever really know myself. But then again I don't know if I can bear it if he rejects me.' She paused to bite her thumbnail. 'Oh God, does that sound like a trailer for Oprah?'

  'So long as you don't bounce on the sofa and whoop when Piers and you get invited on to talk about your relationship,' was Lauren's reply. 'I'd have to disown you for being a total tit.'

  They spent the rest of the night Googling Piers. He had made over fifteen films but never won an Oscar; he had homes in LA and London and had been married to Olivia, a famous American actress, for over twenty years, which surely had to be something of a record for Hollywood. He had no other children. The pictures on the web showed a distinguished-looking man with blonde hair and chiselled features who was still handsome in his fifties. Valentine found herself staring at his photograph and wondering what kind of man he was, wondering if she had inherited her green eyes from him.

  Later, when she was in bed, she called Finn, wanting to confide in him. But she only got his voicemail. Eva was probably back from filming. From now on she'd have to wait for Finn to call her. She felt lonely and hated being the other woman. Just as she was drifting off to sleep her phone beeped with a text. It wasn't from Finn as she had hoped, but Jack; a flirty, teasing, Fleming, I'll get you back for the fluffer lie x. She was about to send back a cheeky reply, then she thought, what the hell, and phoned him.

  'Going to spin me another story, Fleming?' Jack said sleepily. Valentine had a not unpleasant image of him lying in bed.

  'I was actually phoning to say sorry. No hard feelings?'

  'There would be nothing hard if I had to go on stage naked, believe me. Anyway, it's me who should apologise. I realise it was out of order teasing you about your costume. I didn't mean to make you feel self-conscious.' Jack went up again in her estimation. 'I may have a hairy chest but I am evolved.'

  Valentine had a sudden urge to ask if he had a hairy back. She felt she could deal with a hairy chest, but she wasn't at all sure about a hairy back. Maybe he could get it waxed.

  They stayed talking on the phone for the next half-hour – swapping gossip about what they thought of the rest of the cast, and verdicts on plays and films they'd seen recently. All innocent subjects but there was a definite undercurrent of attraction in their banter. Jack was so easy to talk to – funny, charming, self-deprecating and very flirtatious. Flirtatious was good; it seemed ages since she'd flirted with anyone. The conversation was also a welcome reprieve from having to think about her big news. In fact she would probably have stayed talking to him for longer, but at midnight his doorbell went.

  'Shit,' he said with feeling, 'I'd better get this. See you tomorrow, Valentine.' A beat. 'Nice talking to you. Did you know what a sexy voice you have?'

  For the first time in a very long time, she didn't think about Finn as she fell asleep.

  She woke early the next morning and forced herself to go for a run. Usually she loathed running, but the spectre of the nipple tassels and the Twirlies was very motivational. The exercise helped clear her head, and by the time she got home she had made a decision: she was going to contact Piers. It wasn't easy composing the letter.

  Dear Piers, I hope this doesn't come as too much of a surprise but I am your daughter Valentine. Twenty-eight years ago you may remember you had a brief relationship with Sarah Fleming ; well I am the consequence!

  The exclamation mark was a mistake; it made her sound like a crazy person. She scrunched up the paper and threw it in the bin. Her second, third and fourth attempts weren't much better. Valentine gave a sigh of exasperation. Every version she came up with really did sound like a trailer for Oprah: This week multi-award-winning, successful film director Piers Hunter discovers he has a long lost daughter! Here they are on the sofa with me! In the end she kept the letter brief and to the point.

  Dear Piers, my name is Valentine Fleming. I know this is probably going to sound like a bolt from the blue but I believe that I am your daughter. Twenty-eight years ago you had a brief affair with my mother Sarah Fleming. It was while you were directing The Importance of Being Ernest in Oxford. I am an actress, living in London. I am not looking for anything other than the chance to meet you.

  She finished by giving all her contact details and enclosing one of her black and white publicity shots. She also mentioned the play she was in. She hesitated at the post box. Could she really deal with the feeling of rejection if he didn't reply? She posted the letter. Core of steel. What would be, would be.

  The flirting with Jack continued throughout the next two weeks of rehearsals. She found herself warming to him more and more. And his acting was a revelation. She had thought that he was completely wrong to play Bottom because he was so good-looking and assured, but on stage he transformed into the buffoon the role demanded. He was pompous, self-important and he even managed to make himself look less attractive by adopting a slightly buck-toothed smile. It was a fantastic performance. Valentine, meanwhile, was the femme fatale of the fairy world, doing her best to seduce him, while he was oblivious to her charms. VPL, who so far had doled out precious few compliments, praised her performance, telling her she was conveying just the right mix of comedy and sensuality. Her growing attraction to Jack was further heightened by Finn's distance. He finally called back but gave her no chance to tell him her big news; he was too full of his own as he was about to fly to the States to audition for a CSI something. 'This could be my big break, V,' he told her excitedly. Valentine was pleased for him, but couldn't help feeling that
conversation with Finn was a one-way street.

  However the downward spiral that would usually have been triggered by his lack of interest didn't materialise. And she tried not to dwell too much on the fact that Piers had yet to reply to her letter, though she was fanatical about checking her email. She told herself that he was bound to be away filming. Thank God she was acting as she knew if she wasn't she would have been obsessing over Piers's silence. But acting always gave her such a high. Not only did she feel good, she was convinced she looked better too. Her skin appeared brighter (probably because she'd massively cut down on alcohol and junk food), her eyes had a sparkle to them and even her hair seemed more manageable than usual. She loved working in a company again, getting to know everyone and feeling part of something. With a few exceptions (the wanker Xander and the ravishing and annoying Emily, who fancied the arse off Jack) she adored her fellow actors. It was like falling in love with everyone. She hung out mostly with Toby, Zara (a lovely Twirly), Kitty and Rufus (who were now a couple) and Jack after rehearsals and they invariably ended up going to the pub they'd nicknamed the Orange Peril because of its vile orange-patterned carpet that was so tacky with dirt that you felt you were going to be stuck like a fly on flypaper every time you stepped on it. There they would gossip and giggle and practically no subject was off-limits. That was the other thing she loved about other actors: when you bonded, you really bonded and confidences were quickly shared. At the end of the second week her group were all deeply involved in discussing when they lost their virginity. Jack was in the middle of telling them how he lost his, aged sixteen, to a married woman he met when he was in an Am Dram production of Noises Off. Very Mrs Robinson in The Graduate they all agreed.

  'Dirty cow!' Valentine exclaimed. 'You were practically jailbait!'

  'I looked older than I was, plus I'd been working on a building site so I looked very muscular and tanned, though I say so myself.' He rolled up his sleeve to emphasise the point. Valentine found herself staring at his very lovely muscular arm. She did love a muscular arm and he had a striking tattoo on his shoulder of a dragon. She also loved a tattoo on a man.