Resist Me (Change Me Book One - standalone): McCoy Raven Boys

by A. O. Peart

  Jack told us how he swept his footprints with a leafy branch so we wouldn’t see any signs of him walking around. Damn, like some freakin’ wannabe assassin. I bet he had a huge, toothy grin on his face the whole time while doing so. But I couldn’t be mad with my best buddy. He could be odd like that sometimes, still a kid at heart.

  He jogged back to get his truck. When he returned, he brought some food with him, including two extra-large pizzas from Dominos, bagels, cream cheese, milk, and—yes, some awesome beer. I hooted with appreciation when I saw that last item. He knew my favorite: Workhorse IPA and the Boneyard IPA.

  I clapped him on the back, “That’s what I’m talking about, bro. Colton drank all my good beer and left some piss as a replacement.”

  “Typical.” Jack snorted. “He’s an awesome dude, but his taste in beer is highly questionable.”

  I was glad Jack was here after all. He would provide a distraction from what was going on between Lisbeth and me. But then he told us that he’s staying in Ryley’s cabin. It was bigger and swankier than mine, but I knew Jack, and that couldn’t be a reason why he chose to crash in there.

  I looked at him suspiciously. “Why won’t you stay in the spare bedroom upstairs?”

  Before he answered, his eyes flicked between Lisbeth and me. It was a tiny movement, but I caught it and understood—the little shit suspected I’ve already lured Lisbeth into my bed.

  “I told Ryley I wanted to spend my two days off by the Lake, and he was okay with it,” Jack said lightly, but I heard underlying notes of guilt in his voice.

  “Really? He was so eager to give you the keys just to do what? Kick around and relax here?” I doubted. Ryley and Jack weren’t on the best terms. I was sure promises were made, and now Jack had some serious obligation to my brother. It would be interesting to find out what kind of deal they made. Ryley was a hard ass who rarely made it easier for others. The truth was, my brother only cared about his own gain and comfort. Amazing how different he was from the rest of us, especially from Brooklyn, his own twin.

  Jack reclined in the bench and took an enormous bite of pizza. I waited for him to chew and swallow. He wasn’t getting out of this so easily.

  He wiped his mouth with a napkin and said through the mouthful of pizza, “Well… I was sure you didn’t want anyone to know you’re here, in case the whole McCoy clan decided an impromptu visit. So I asked Ryley.”

  “Huh.” I took a swig of my beer. “Interesting. Okay, fess up. The family didn’t know I was actually here anyway, and you didn’t have to inform anyone where you were going. One phone call to me would be enough. So why the conspiracy?”

  That got him. A fleeting look of uncertainty shadowed his good-natured features. “Uhm…”

  “Yeah, uhm.” I snorted.

  Throughout this whole exchange Lisbeth sat quietly, watching and listening. Her face was impassive. I couldn’t decide what she was thinking. Maybe she shared my reservations? Or didn’t quite understand what was going on? After all, she didn’t know Jack as I did. He would never hesitate to just pop in here. I wouldn’t make a fuss. That’s why him arranging an alternative accommodation was suspicious to me, but not necessarily to her.

  Jack chuckled, stretched his burly arms over his head, and looked at Lisbeth. Then at me—with a sheepish smile. “Okay, bro. Okay.” He knew what I meant.

  I shook my head and changed the subject, “You scared the crap out of us. What the hell were you trying to do? Get yourself shot?”

  “I was just messing with you.” He grinned and winked. He fucking winked at me.

  Okay, it was time to make him talk, although not in front of Lisbeth. As if catching my thought, she stood up. “I’m going to sit on the dock. Water has such a soothing effect.” With that, she walked off toward the dock.

  “I thought it was the trees,” I called after her.

  “That too,” she said, turning her head.

  I watched Lisbeth sit down at the end of the dock, remove her boots and socks, and roll up her pants all the way to her knees. She lowered one foot, carefully dipping her toes in the water, testing it. Her second foot followed soon after.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Jack said in a low voice.

  Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes away from Lisbeth and looked at him. He was cleaning his teeth with a plastic fork. Some members of my family were classy; some not so.

  “What the fuck were you thinking? Why are you staying in Ryley’s cabin?” I asked, not too nicely.

  “You think I should’ve chosen Brooklyn’s cabin? Hmm, that’s a thought.” He pretended to pause, deep in thought.

  “Fuck you.”

  Brooklyn and Ryley also owned cabins on Devil’s Lake, but Ryley’s was the biggest and totally ritzy. That was Ryley for you—everything he owned had to be posh. He rolled in cash though, so it was only natural for him to want all those pretty things.

  Jack grinned.

  “Are you done grooming yourself? Or are you gonna utilize this fine tool any further?” I pointed to the fork in his hand.

  He looked at it, as if not understanding my jab. “Does it have any other uses?”

  “Yeah, maybe it can serve as an adequate comb? Three-in-one.”

  Jack inclined his head in mocking contemplation. “Who would have thought?”

  “Cut the crap. Why are you staying at Ryley’s?”

  He yawned, shook all over like a freakin’ dog, and looked at me, prolonging the answer as much as he could. I was used to his ways. But I wasn’t backing off.

  Jack glanced back at where Lisbeth was sitting at the end of the dock, slowly flapping her feet in the water. He looked back at me and, leaning closer said, “I didn’t want to just butt in. Look, I wanna help in case something nasty starts happening around, but you’ve got a girl in here after all and—”

  I interrupted him, “I don’t have a girl in here. Don’t be stupid. You know she’s the sole witness in a murder case, trying to survive after the FBI safe house got blasted out. I just offered her a place to hide. What are you implying?”

  He lifted his hands in an appeasing gesture. “I know that. That’s why I’m here. If that shit hits the fan, you might need some help, bro. Fuck, man, you never ask for any favors. I just have to take an initiative sometimes, so give me a break.” He huffed.

  I was watching Lisbeth. She leaned back on her elbows, reclining toward the sun. Her head dropped back, hair spilling from her shoulders and onto the wood like a cascade of dark waves.

  Jack followed my eyes. “I think she’s got something you might totally dig. Just sayin’.”

  He had no idea how right he was.

  Chapter Twently Two

  LISBETH

  The cool water felt like heaven against my skin. It was a hot day, and there was no shade on the dock, but I loved how the heat of the sun caressed my arms and face.

  These two opposite sensations my body was experiencing, reminded me of what my heart was subjected to with Ethan. Out of self-preservation, I tried to forbid myself to yield to his unrelenting magnetism. That was the cool water reference. The sun was everything else I felt for him.

  As soon as I lifted my legs out of the soothing water, the sun was winning. The sun would always win, as long as it shone. I could walk away from this water, but I couldn’t avoid the sun—not while staying in its proximity. Was I comparing Ethan to the sun? Well, maybe in some vague sense. It was more about the enticing and, at the same time tormenting vibes he so strongly exuded. Even thinking of them, made my heart beat faster and my thighs clamp in need.

  I scolded myself for being such a complete idiot. But to no avail. The seed was already planted. Ethan got his hooks in my heart. I was trapped, and even if I tried to fight that unwanted attraction off, I wasn’t sure if I had a chance. The only way would be to rip it out like a Band Aid and run. But where? With him, at least, I had a chance to last. Without him, I would be on my own, with no skills to survive.

  How strange and frightening was such a th
ought—I came to rely on just one person to help. And I didn’t even know him well. I could maybe try to go back to Florida and seek help on the streets. But I was sure that everyone I knew years ago was gone or moved on. Besides, the danger was stronger down there. Or was it?

  In my whole life, I’ve never felt so alone… and so helpless…

  I heard footsteps on the dock. Ethan strolled barefoot toward me, with his hands in his pants pockets. He was looking to his side, toward three small boats in the middle of the Lake. It sounded as if there was a party going on, with people laughing and shouting. Every once a while there was a splash when someone dived from the boat into the Lake and either swam to another boat, or just stayed in one place, trading water. Hoots of delight and jokes followed. I longed to feel so carefree.

  Wordlessly, Ethan sat next to me, rolled his pants up, and dipped his feet in the water, leaning forward while I stayed reclined back on my elbows.

  “Sounds like a big party over there.” I tipped my chin in the direction of the noise.

  Ethan looked up and nodded, still silent, deep in thought.

  I waited for him to start a conversation. There was something on his mind, but I didn’t feel like prodding.

  Finally, he turned his head toward me. “Jack’s staying in one of my brothers’ cabin. It’s just two miles away.”

  “I hope he’ll hang out with us though. Is anyone else from your family coming?” I asked cautiously. I hoped nobody else was planning to be here. It wouldn’t be a good idea, in case something bad happened here. Obviously, I wished we were safe and well hidden, but how could I be completely sure the gang wouldn’t find us?

  “Nobody knows we’re here. It’s better this way.”

  “Yes, I agree.”

  He exhaled loudly and rubbed his forehead. “Look… I’ve already apologized for what happened earlier—”

  “The kiss?” I interrupted. We should call what we did the way it was: not a nameless it but the kiss. A damn good kiss. An amazing kiss. A kiss that had any other kisses I’ve ever experienced beat to the punch. It was better to forget about that kiss, but at least we should call it by its proper term.

  For a split second Ethan hesitated. He seemed to freeze, his gaze boring into mine. I waited. Maybe he waited to… but for what? And then one side of his mouth lifted ever so slightly, and the corners of his eyes crinkled a tiny bit. That was enough for my stomach to clench and my heart to go crazy in my chest. If there was any firm resolve to stay unaffected by his charm, it went down the drain in a jiffy.

  “I was a jerk,” he confessed. “You have nothing to be afraid of.”

  I raised my eyebrows in a silent “What exactly do you mean?”

  “You can be sure I won’t try to force myself on you. I invited you here to feel safe, not to feel threatened.”

  I bit on my lip. It was a habit I had to curb. “Oh, okay. It’s good to know that. Thank you.”

  What was that strange emotion I suddenly felt? Disappointment? No, it couldn’t be. That would be stupid and wrong on all fronts. It was just confusion. Yes, it was. No, it wasn’t confusion. Yes, it was! No, definitely not confusion.

  He nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line. And just like that, the subject was closed.

  Disappointment? No, it couldn’t be. Was it? Oh, no. Was I falling for him?

  The battle fought inside me must’ve been visible on my face, because Ethan asked, “Is that okay? Are you still mad at me? You have a right to be.”

  “No, I’m not,” I said quickly, trying to rake my hand through my hair. The ring on my finger got tangled in my hair. I hissed in pain.

  Ethan leaned closer. Slowly and very gently he worked on extricating it. His face was too close to mine. I could only think of his sinful lips, of his masterful kissing skills, of his strong arms around me, and his chest pressed possessively onto mine. I closed my eyes, blocking that vision from my mind, and trying to concentrate on something else. Anything.

  A faint fragrance of his cologne was the last drop. Against my will, I whispered, “What if I don’t want you to?”

  He stilled. I was afraid to open my eyes.

  “Don’t want me to do… what?” he whispered back.

  His breath tickled my face. I wanted him so badly. No matter the consequences, I wanted this man.

  I licked my lips and inhaled the tantalizing mixture of his cologne and his own intoxicating, masculine scent. There was nothing else that mattered now. Nothing. Just him.

  His fingers brushed alongside my ear and down to my neck.

  I inhaled sharply and leaned into his touch. “Ethan.” Heat exploded in my very core, rushing down to my sex, overwhelming me; holding me hostage.

  When I forced my eyes open, I saw his face even closer than before. Our lips almost touched. Almost. And then he quickly withdrew. His jaw was set, and he took a deep breath.

  “No,” he said quietly. “I made a promise. I don’t go back on my promises.”

  That delicious heat inside me disappeared as fast as it surfaced. It was immediately replaced by an infuriating remorse. What was wrong with me? I wanted to scream and to bang my head against something. I felt mortified.

  “Oh, God. I’m sorry, I am so sorry, Ethan. I don’t know what the hell came over me.” I shook my head and turned away. “How awkward,” I whispered.

  He didn’t say anything to that. I was afraid to look back at him.

  “Okay, look. It is apparent that we are attracted to each other. But I can’t go ahead with this. I would be the worse jerk if I got into your pants. You know what I’ve offered, and that is all I can give you. I’m sorry.” He stood up and walked away.

  I was dumbfounded. Right now I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to think. First, he kisses me like there is no tomorrow. Then, he gets angry about that. Next, he apologizes. Later on, he apologizes again and makes me think he wants me. And then, he promptly stops me and tells me to forget it. If a man has ever confused me, it was child’s play comparing to what Ethan was doing to me.

  I sat, looking into the distance, playing a tag war with my own thoughts: he is right; no, he is even more confused than I am, and so on, back and forth. Only it wasn’t a play; there was no fun in my internal tag war. There only was pain, frustration, and humiliation.

  But the truth was this—I deserved that. From the beginning, I knew Ethan was a difficult guy. But most importantly, I knew I should have kept away from him, instead of letting down my guard. Why did I let him do that to me? I felt degraded, but mostly naïve. That in turn, made me angry. I was really mad. It didn’t matter at whom—him or myself. The anger was boiling inside me, wanting to get out.

  I stood up and pulled my shirt and my pants off. In only panties and a bra, I dived into the water. Swimming always relaxed me. It was my way of channeling all the bad emotions into the water; away from myself.

  The water was cold. My breathing rate spiked for a few moments, while my body temperature counteracted the thermal shock. But soon, my muscles relaxed, and my breath was back to normal.

  I was a good swimmer and always felt comfortable in the water. I swam quickly away from the dock. Freestyle was my favorite stroke because it gave me speed. I concentrated on breathing and on the measured, precise movements of my muscles. It was the best way I knew to forget about trouble with Ethan.

  The party boats were ahead of me. I didn’t want to get any closer to them, so I flipped around in the water and changed the direction, switching to the butterfly stroke. My legs kicked together from the hips in a dolphin-style kick, while my arms rotated over my shoulders, bringing me up and down again.

  I was lost in the joy of swimming when I heard a male voice, right behind me, “Hey, wait up!”

  I slowed down and, trading water in the upright position, looked toward where the voice came from. A grinning face with a mustache and a small beard appeared close to me.

  “You’re an awesome swimmer! How do you do the butterfly stroke so well?” he asked wi
th awe in his voice.

  “Years of practice,” I said.

  “Hey, I’m Rob. What’s your name?”

  “Gloria.”

  “Come to the boats.” He pointed behind him. “We’re celebrating my buddy’s twenty-fifth birthday. There are over thirty people there.”

  “Thanks, but I have to go now.” I glanced toward the shore.

  Ethan stood there, arms crossed over his chest, watching us.

  Rob saw him and asked, “Your boyfriend?”

  “No. Just a friend.”

  “He can come too.”

  “Well, maybe. But we have company. I gotta go. Thanks for the invite.” I dived under the water, blocking off Rob’s voice. I was sure he was about to invite Jack too. Heck, he would invite the whole damn town. That party was, most likely, going to be long and loud. There went a peaceful night and my chance for a soundless sleep.

  I swam to the dock and pulled myself up. Ethan still stood at the shore. Now he was shading his face from the sun with his hand and looking directly at me. I remembered that I didn’t have a swimming suit on but just a skimpy, very thin bra and panties. They stuck to my body, leaving very little to imagination. Great.

  I hurriedly sat down, crossing my arms over my chest to hide my half-nakedness from Ethan’s eyes. I turned away from him and from the party boats, gazing at the houses on the other side of the Lake.

  My contemplation was short-lived when I heard someone walking toward me on the dock. It was probably Ethan, but I didn’t feel like talking. Or maybe it was Jack? Either way, I didn’t bother to see who was there.

  Something soft and warm encircled my shoulders and back. I startled and looked up. Ethan brought me a large, white towel.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Don’t mention it. What did that guy want?”

  I shrugged indifferently. “Invited me… actually both of us to their event. There, on the boat,” I tipped my chin toward the three boats, now linked together into a one, big party place.