“The one who can make you blush,” Summer added avidly, taking her sister’s arm. “Okay, Autumn, who is he?”
Groaning, Autumn allowed herself to be hustled along, though she was determined to change the subject the minute the five of them were settled in Spring’s car. She had no intention of discussing Jeff Bradford with two happily married couples!
Were her confused feelings for him really so obvious that her family had noticed a change in her that quickly? she wondered ruefully. Maybe it wouldn’t be quite so easy to put him out of her mind during the next two weeks after all.
7
“ARE YOU SURE you’re warm enough, Spring? Do you want me to bring your sweater?”
“No, thank you, Clay, I’m fine.”
“Well, how about something to eat? D’you want a sandwich or something? You have to keep up your strength.”
“Clay!” Spring protested, making Autumn smile at the exasperated look on her older sister’s face. “Isn’t Gil waiting for you?”
Clay bit his lower lip thoughtfully. “Yeah, he is, but I can stay home if you need me. I don’t have to watch football with Gil.”
“Please go,” Spring said firmly. “This is my last chance to visit with Autumn before she returns to Florida, and you promised Gil and me that you’d spend a couple of hours with him. Now go.”
“Don’t worry, Clay, I’ll take care of her,” Autumn promised gravely, trying not to laugh. She was spending New Year’s Day, the last day of her vacation in Arkansas, at Spring and Clay’s lovely nearly renovated older Victorian home in Little Rock. Clay would drive her to the airport the next morning to catch her flight back to Tampa. She’d enjoyed her visit very much, but she was ready to go home. She tried to tell herself that Babs and her job were the main reasons she was in such a hurry to get back.
Clay looked sheepish but smiled at Autumn in gratitude. “Thanks. You know where I can be reached if you need me.” He leaned over to give his wife a long, passionate kiss before allowing himself to be shooed out of the room.
The sisters waited until the front door had closed behind him and the sound of his car engine had faded before giving in to the gales of laughter they’d been holding back. Reclining comfortably on her couch, her dainty yellow-and-white cat curled in her lap, Spring rolled her eyes in mock dismay. “Seven more months of this! Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about the baby until closer to the due date.”
“Spring, I think he would have noticed,” Autumn remarked dryly, swinging her foot in front of her as she lounged in a large wing chair.
“It seemed like such a nice idea to tell him on Christmas Eve—kind of like an extra Christmas present. I should have known that he would overreact.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I think he’s kind of sweet. I particularly liked it when he refused to allow you to open your own presents in case you got a paper cut or something.”
Spring groaned and buried her face in her hands. “Oh, God. I’ll never survive this pregnancy.”
Pregnancy. Autumn shook her head slowly, trying to comprehend the reality of the word. In just seven short months Spring would be a mother. Autumn would be an aunt. Her parents would be grandparents. It was mind-boggling, thinking of the new generation beginning in her family.
Spring had made her announcement to the family on Christmas Day, to the general delight of the Reed clan. It had been a wonderful holiday, and Autumn had enjoyed being with her family again. She’d been a bit concerned that, as the only sister left unmarried, her family would show an even greater tendency than usual to treat her as the “baby,” something that had always frustrated Autumn. Yet, for the first time, she felt this year that she’d been treated as an adult, a capable, intelligent career woman.
Maybe it was because she’d been on her own for several years now, or maybe because the two newest family members, Derek and Clay, had never known her as the “cute little tomboy” and therefore didn’t treat her as such. Whatever the reason, Autumn was grateful. Though various members of the family had commented that Autumn seemed to have changed in some way since her last visit home, Autumn had managed to change the subject each time. She was fully aware that she had displayed an uncharacteristic tendency to drift off into her thoughts during her holiday, particularly since Spring had made her announcement. She was also aware that, rather than putting Jeff out of her mind on this vacation away from him, he was as much a part of her thoughts as before.
Autumn had been reexamining her goals in life during the past two weeks, finding contradictions within herself that she hadn’t realized were there. Until she’d met Jeff, she’d thought she wanted nothing more out of life than a fulfilling career, a company of her own that would bring her financial security and a satisfying degree of responsibility. When she’d thought of marriage at all, it had been as a nebulous possibility, perhaps when she was fully established, well into her thirties.
Now she found herself wondering what it would be like to be married, sharing her life with a man full-time. Wondering if a mother who drove a pickup truck and strapped on a tool pouch could make a nice home for a dark-haired, blue-eyed child. No, she wouldn’t allow herself to get that specific in her wondering. This was strictly hypothetical curiosity on her part.
“Aren’t you terrified?” The words left her mouth without conscious thought.
Spring looked a bit surprised for a moment, then smiled understandingly at the younger sister who’d always been so intense about life’s roles and responsibilities. “I guess I am, a little,” she admitted. “It’s not like the baby’s going to arrive with an owner’s manual. Like any first-time mother, I’ll be playing it by ear a lot. But I already love this baby so much. And Clay will be a wonderful father.”
“What about your career? Will you be able to dedicate as much time and energy to your practice after the baby arrives?”
“I’ll certainly have to make some changes, and I haven’t worked them all out yet. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to take off for maternity leave, for example. I’ll have to work with my patients as much as possible so they won’t be forced to go elsewhere. Fortunately, there aren’t that many emergencies in optometry, so we should be able to work around the four to six weeks that I’m off.”
“And after the baby’s born?”
“I’ll start talking to other working mothers soon about the different types of child care available in the area. I know attorneys, retailers, bankers and doctors who also happen to be mothers. Good mothers. I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to offer advice. My baby will be well cared for, Autumn.”
Autumn smiled. “You don’t have to convince me of that. I happen to think my niece or nephew is very lucky to have you and Clay for parents.”
“Thanks.”
Autumn twisted a curl of auburn hair around one finger, wondering how to word her next question, but feeling the need to ask. “Isn’t it driving you crazy? The way you’re being treated now, I mean? Like you’ve suddenly become a delicate, emotional creature that people have to tiptoe around. Mother hovered over you, Daddy kept patting your cheek, and Clay—Lord!”
Spring laughed. “Yes, it drives me crazy. But I guess that’s just part of it. I understand that, as I get bigger, all people will focus on is my belly. My attorney friend said it was terribly frustrating when the jury kept smiling at her stomach instead of frowning thoughtfully into her eyes as she wanted them to do. She had to work twice as hard to be taken seriously while she was pregnant. No one ever said it was going to be easy, Autumn. But becoming an optometrist wasn’t easy, either. I had to work for it. It was worth it.
“As for Clay…well, he’s just Clay. Part of his solicitude is teasing, the other part is his way of being involved in a phase of parenthood during which the father has very little to do. Fathers feel terribly left out during pregnancy. I plan to keep him very busy for the next seven months.”
Suddenly restless, Autumn sprang to her feet and began to pace around the impeccably decorated room. “You
and Summer make it look so easy. You have careers, goals, plans—and yet you still make time for your husbands and look forward to having children. How do you do it?”
“Autumn, it’s not easy. It’s not. But it’s what we want.”
“But how do you know?” Autumn turned to look at her sister, the frustration building inside her as she tried to understand the other woman’s serenity. “Neither you nor Summer seemed all that anxious to get married before you met Clay and Derek. You were busy with your practice, and Summer was having too much fun partying with her nutty San Francisco friends to care about settling down. Then you meet these guys, and suddenly you’re buying homes and making babies. Was it really that simple?”
“Simple?” Spring repeated incredulously, her eyes widening. “Autumn, it was terrifying! You’ve heard us talk about how insecure and uncertain we were in the early stages of our romances.”
She paused for a moment, her expression dreamy with her memories, then she smiled at her intently listening sister. “It wasn’t simple, Autumn. I don’t think it’s ever simple to suddenly have another person become such an important part of your life. I only know that I feel so fulfilled now. I’m still my own person with my own goals and career, but I always have Clay when I need someone to share my thoughts and dreams and disappointments, and he has me for the same type of moral support.”
She shot Autumn a sly glance, turning the conversation abruptly in a new direction. “I think that you would thrive within a happy marriage, just as Summer and I have. Maybe it’s the way we were raised, with our parents setting such a good example of two people whose lives are better for being shared with the ones they love.”
Autumn swallowed and started to pace again. “We weren’t talking about me,” she said gruffly.
“Weren’t we?” Spring inquired gently. “Then why is it suddenly so important for you to understand how Summer and I justified marriage?”
Autumn moistened her lips and avoided her sister’s knowing eyes. “I was just curious.”
“Want to tell me about him?”
“About who?”
“The man Clay asked you about the day you arrived, the man who made you blush,” Spring teased. “The man who has you asking yourself if marriage is such a terrible thing after all.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Autumn blustered, her arms crossing defensively over her chest. “You know how I feel about marriage. I came close once, remember? I thought I was in love with Steven, but I couldn’t marry him. Just the thought made me panic.”
“You thought you were in love with Steven,” Spring repeated. “You weren’t. You were infatuated with his good looks and football-hero image. And you were much too young five years ago to be thinking about marriage. You’ve made a life for yourself now, accomplished things that you couldn’t have done if you’d married then. That doesn’t mean you couldn’t have it all now.” She paused for only a moment before asking again, “So want to tell me about this new mam?”
“There’s nothing to tell,” Autumn answered, then had to be honest. “Well, not much. I’ve only known him for a couple of months, and we’ve only had two dates. But he’s…He makes me…He…Oh, hell, Spring, I don’t know. I seem to be obsessed with the man, but I don’t know if it’s something serious or if it’s just a bad case of lust.”
Spring laughed delightedly. “Oh, does this sound familiar!”
“So what am I supposed to do?” Autumn demanded, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans and glaring at her amused sister. “Jeff’s a very traditional kind of man. One who’s looking for permanence, commitment. I don’t know if that’s what I want. What if it isn’t?”
“What if it is?” Spring asked in return. “How will you know unless you give it a chance?”
“I don’t want to hurt him. And I don’t want to be hurt,” Autumn murmured, finally putting into words the fears that had plagued her for the past few weeks.
“There’s always that risk,” Spring agreed. “But you’ve never been a coward, Autumn. Far from it. You’ve always willingly taken on every challenge that faced you. I can’t give you advice because I don’t know Jeff or anything about him, but I do believe that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to—a career, a marriage, a family. I always knew that when you fell in love, you’d fall hard. You’ve never done anything halfway.”
In love? Was she in love with Jeff? Autumn frowned, going cold at the suggestion. Was this how her sisters had felt? If so, then “terrified” seemed suddenly too tame a word. Autumn was scared spitless.
Spring set Missy, her cat, onto the floor and rose to her feet, assuming the stance of a concerned older sister. “Would I approve of Jeff, Autumn?”
With a reluctant laugh Autumn grimaced. “You’d adore him. He’s almost too handsome to be real, he loves kids and animals, his manners are straight out of an old handbook for Southern gentlemen, and yet he’s modern enough to clean up after himself and not be threatened when a woman asks him out. I think he’d be a bit overprotective of the woman in his life, but he doesn’t seem to be bothered by the idea of being involved with a working woman. And he’s got a smile that could melt granite.”
Intrigued, Spring straightened her glasses and peered thoughtfully at her sister. “What does he do?”
“He’s a pediatrician.”
“Marry the man.”
Autumn laughed at Spring’s flat statement. “I should have known that’s what you’d say.”
“I’m not kidding. He sounds perfect!”
“Not perfect, but damn close.” Autumn ran her fingers through her hair and winced. “And that’s what scares the hell out of me. I think he deserves a whole lot more than what I can give him.”
“You are in love!” Spring exclaimed. “You’re worried about whether you’re good enough for him! Believe me, Autumn, you are. He’d be lucky to have you.”
“And you’re just a bit prejudiced,” Autumn answered fondly. “You’re family.”
“True. And I love you. “I’ll bet Jeff does, too. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“Could we talk about something else for a while?” Autumn asked weakly. “This conversation is making me nervous.”
Spring chuckled. “Come into my room, Sis. I’ve got something to give you.”
Curious, Autumn followed her sister from the room, still uncertain about her feelings for Jeff but somehow comforted by having shared her concerns with Spring.
“STOP LOOKING AT ME like that, Babs. I told you I missed you. Believe me, you wouldn’t have enjoyed Arkansas this time. You’d have frozen your fuzzy little tail off.” Autumn kept up a running conversation with the dog tagging at her heels as she unpacked, neatly putting away her clothing and Christmas presents. “Besides, Emily told me that you had a great time visiting her and Ryan. I’ll bet you’re spoiled rotten now.”
Closing the last drawer of her bedroom chest, she stretched and looked contentedly around the room. It was good to be home. She chuckled as she glanced at the pillows of her bed, where a large, ragged stuffed bear reclined regally, appearing quite pleased with himself, although his orange fur was a bit mangy-looking and he was missing one ear. Winnie the Pooh had been the “something” that Spring had given Autumn the day before after their conversation about Jeff. The bear had belonged to Spring as a child, then had been passed down to Summer and Autumn in turn. Autumn had been quite attached to the bear, dragging him around for years by the now-missing ear. On a whim, she’d given the stuffed toy to Summer when Summer had moved to San Francisco. Summer had declared her intention of moving to a city where she knew absolutely no one as a means of recovering her self-sufficiency after her accident, and Autumn sent Pooh along to keep her sister company.
Spring had received the bear at the end of her twelve-day visit to California in March. Knowing that Spring was leaving with a broken heart after a quarrel with Clay, Summer had impulsively sent Pooh home with her older sister. And now Spring had completed the cycle again, returning
the old toy to the youngest Reed sister.
“I think he brings good luck,” Spring had said gravely, though her violet eyes had sparkled with amusement at the whimsical ceremony. “And he makes a great confidant.”
The gesture had appealed to Autumn’s sense of humor, and she’d obligingly brought the bear home with her. Besides, she thought, patting the worn fuzzy head, she’d missed old Pooh. Babs tended to get restless if squeezed too tightly, though she was definitely the better conversationalist.
Smiling to herself, Autumn realized that her visit home had been good for her. She had her sense of humor back, she was well rested and she had finally come to a decision about Jeff. She was going to make the move that he was waiting for her to make. She’d never be comfortable leaving the situation between them unresolved. Keeping some distance between them for a few weeks had put her attraction for him back in perspective, she thought confidently. He was handsome, entertaining, amusing. There was no reason at all for her to avoid him when both of them wanted to be together—for now.
She glanced at the telephone, then quickly decided to wait a few hours before calling him. “Coward,” she accused herself under her breath as she wandered into her kitchen to see if there was anything in the cabinets that she could have for dinner.
She had just closed the door to her discouragingly empty refrigerator—she’d cleaned it out before leaving—when her doorbell chimed.
“Jeff I” She really hadn’t expected to find him on her doorstep. The last she’d heard, it had been her move. And suddenly she wasn’t sure she was ready to make it. Oh, God, he looked wonderful, she thought on a silent wail. All her brave resolutions about keeping her attraction to him in perspective shattered into mental fragments, leaving her defenseless against him. All she could do was look at him, so tall and tanned and strong in the porch light, and fight the urge to throw herself into his arms and beg him to make love with her.
“Hi.” Jeff turned one of his heart-stopping smiles on her, his eyes just a bit wary as they watched her so intently. His hands were in the pockets of the denim jacket he wore with a white Oxford shirt and jeans, his feet spread apart as if he were prepared for anything. She wondered if he were that uncertain of his reception. “I know I should have called first, but when I drove by and saw your lights on, I couldn’t resist stopping.”
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