“Come in, Jeff,” Autumn invited him, moving back to give him room to pass her. She glanced down quickly at her own green sweater and gray slacks, relieved to see that they had traveled well. She resisted the impulse to lift a hand to her hair, knowing that her French braid was still quite neat. “You, uh, you just happened to be passing by?” she asked skeptically, leaning back against the door.
His mouth twisted into a self-mocking smile. “Every day for the past week,” he answered quietly. “I wasn’t sure when you’d be back.” He paused for a moment, then added, “I missed you, Autumn.”
“I, uh…” She swallowed. “Sit down, Jeff. Can I get you anything? I haven’t been to the grocery store yet, but I can make coffee.”
“No, thanks.” Still watching her closely, he took a step toward her and then another, until he stood only inches away from her. “Did you have a nice vacation?”
“Yes.” Her voice was little more than a whisper as her body reacted to his proximity by jumping into overdrive, heart pounding, breath quickening, palms dampening. She tried to keep the conversation polite and unthreatening, though she felt as if she were fighting a losing battle. “Did you enjoy the holidays?”
Jeff lifted a hand to her face, fingertips tracing the line of her jaw from ear to chin. “As much as possible without having you with me,” he replied softly, so close now that she could almost feel his breath on her flushed skin. “I thought of you constantly. I wanted you with me at Christmas, singing carols and opening presents. And I wanted to kiss you at midnight to welcome in the New Year. Did you think of me while you were gone, Autumn?”
She was unable to answer with less than complete honesty. “I thought of you. A lot.”
He raised his other hand so that her face was cupped tenderly within his palms. “And?” he prompted.
“And I missed you.” She sighed, her gaze locked with his. “I didn’t come to any great decision about us, Jeff. I’m still not ready to make promises or commitments, but I know that I don’t want to stop seeing you. Not yet.”
A flicker of emotion in his eyes told her that he wasn’t quite satisfied with her answer, but he suppressed it almost immediately. He touched his lips to her forehead. “I guess that’ll have to do for now. It’s enough—almost—that you did miss me during these past few weeks. They’ve been the longest weeks of my life, Autumn. I told you I’d let you make the next move, but I couldn’t stay away any longer.”
“I did miss you, Jeff.” She let her hands go hesitantly to his waist, then creep around to stroke his back. “I would have called you tonight. I wanted to see you.”
‘I’m glad.” His lips moved downward, touching the tip of her nose before hovering over her mouth. “I’ve been saving this kiss for forty-three hours. Happy New Year, Autumn.”
He gave her no opportunity to respond verbally. His mouth slanted over hers with a hunger that overwhelmed her, drawing an immediate and equal response from her. His arms tightened around her, pulling her hard against him. Her own arms went up to circle his neck, fitting them perfectly together. So perfectly that she felt bereft when at length he released her mouth and stepped backward to put a few inches between them.
“Have you eaten?” he asked.
She honestly couldn’t remember for a moment. Then she shook her head. “No. Not since lunch.”
“Have dinner with me?”
“Yes.” And anything else he wanted, she told him with her eyes.
He caught his breath and looked quickly down at his shoes, forcibly clearing his throat. “I…” He paused, then started again. “I almost forgot. I brought you a Christmas present.” He reached inside his denim jacket.
Autumn watched him with a smile, finding his momentary uncertainty rather endearing. “I don’t have one for you.”
“Don’t you?” He gave her a quick grin, then held out two thin cardboard rectangles.
Curious, Autumn looked down at the tickets he pressed into her hand. “Jeremy Kane!” she said with a delighted gasp. “He’s performing in St. Petersburg next month? I didn’t even know.”
“The tickets don’t go on sale until Monday,” Jeff informed her a bit smugly. “I pulled a few strings. You’ll notice I gave you two of them. You can take anyone you like with you, but don’t forget who made the effort to get them for you.”
Autumn laughed, knowing he fully intended for one of the tickets to be used by him. Even as her laughter faded, she wondered if they would still be seeing each other when the popular magician made his appearance in seven more weeks. Jeff obviously thought they would be. Still, it had been incredibly nice of him to go to so much trouble to get her tickets to the performance that would certainly be a sellout, simply because she’d once mentioned that she wanted to see Jeremy Kane in person.
“Thank you, Jeff,” she told him. For the first time since she’d known him, she made a completely spontaneous gesture toward him, rising on her tiptoes to place a lingering kiss on his beautifully shaped mouth.
Jeff’s response was instantaneous, recently banked fires flaming again at her touch. The softness in her face just before she’d lifted her lips to his had proved his undoing. He’d thought he’d be able to restrain himself until after dinner at least, but he was shaken by a wave of desire that shattered any control he had managed to retain earlier. There had been no other woman for him since he’d first set eyes on Autumn just over two months before—for some months before that, actually—and he had wanted to make love to her from that very first moment. He’d told himself before that desire wasn’t enough. He still wanted more—much more—from her, but he loved her so much that he couldn’t wait any longer. Couldn’t find the strength to resist what she was so sweetly offering.
“Autumn,” he moaned into her mouth, “I want you so much. I don’t think I can walk away from you this time.”
“Good,” she whispered in return, her arms going around him. “I don’t think I can let you walk away this time.”
He hesitated only a moment before sweeping her off her feet and into his arms, turning rapidly for her bedroom.
Momentarily startled, Autumn glanced up at him with a fleeting frown. “You do understand that I’m quite capable of making this walk on my own?”
“Yes.” He smiled down at her without slowing his long, smooth strides.
She sighed and relaxed, allowing herself to luxuriate in his strength. “Just so you know,” she murmured, snuggling into his shoulder.
He held her more tightly, blinking rapidly at the trusting gesture. He was in danger of worshiping this woman in his arms, he thought as he lowered her tenderly to her bed. He loved her when she was prickly and defensive and independent, he adored her when she was sweet and responsive and passionate. And yet, knowing how much of him she already possessed, he could only offer more of himself. His heart, his soul, his future. Whatever she would take.
“How do you get more beautiful each time I see you?” he asked softly, his hands going to her hair to loosen the intricate braid. Fascinated by the soft, dark red curls he set free, he threaded his fingers through the thick mass and then buried his face in it. “Ah, Autumn, you feel so good.”
“So do you,” she whispered, her hands sliding slowly down his back, palms flattened against the rough denim of his jacket. “But you have on so many clothes.”
The sound he made was half laugh, half moan. He shrugged out of the jacket, tossing it to the floor before pulling his shirt over his head. He never took his eyes from her as his hands went to the buckle of his leather belt, nor did she look away. Instead, she lay still, her approval of the body being revealed to her evident on her face. He loved knowing that she found him attractive. He planned to demonstrate quite thoroughly how beautiful she was to him.
Only when his own clothes were lying in a careless heap on her rug did he reach for the hem of her soft green sweater. Moments later the sweater, her gray slacks and her lacy undergarments had joined his things on the floor, and finally they were as he’d long
ed for them to be. Skin to skin. Heart to heart. As close as a man and woman could be—almost. He held off from that final joining, determined that she would need to have him inside her as desperately as he needed to be there by the time he entered her.
He wanted to make their lovemaking perfect for her. And that included making sure there would be no unplanned consequences. “Autumn, if you’re not protected, I can—”
“No, it’s okay,” she assured him huskily, not bothering to mention that she’d given in to the inevitable and visited her gynecologist soon after meeting Jeff.
Her breasts were full and straining when he cupped them in his hands. Her skin was soft, moist, lightly dusted with golden freckles. He reveled in the feel of it, the scent of it, the taste of it. Her rosy nipples pouted for his attention, and he flicked them with the tip of his tongue, causing her to gasp and arch upward. She cried out softly, burying her hands in his hair when he opened his mouth to draw her deeply inside.
Her stomach was flat, taut, quivering. He caressed the silken slope, his palm sliding downward, tactually memorizing every inch of her. The auburn curls below were crisp, springy, guarding her deepest, softest, most vulnerable part. He intimately explored the hidden folds as he continued to pleasure her breasts with his lips and tongue. He was hanging on to his control by the weakest of threads, his entire body throbbing, clamoring for release. Still he lingered, trembling with need, drawing out the pleasure-pain for as long as humanly possible.
“Jeff. I need you now,” Autumn breathed raggedly, her hips arching into his touch. “I want you so much it hurts.”
“I know, darling. Believe me, I know.” His mouth took hers, tongue thrusting inside to join hers in a wild dance even as his fingers probed deeper. Autumn shuddered and writhed beneath him, her hands moving demandingly over him, no longer content to let him guide their pace. When she took him in her hand, her fingers sliding boldly over pulsing, swollen flesh, his tenuous control snapped.
“Oh, Jeff, yes!” she cried when he settled forcefully between her welcoming legs. And then she was arching upward, taking him deep inside, and all rational thought fled, leaving him lost in a maelstrom of sensation. Feelings too intense, too new to be described by words. Harsh breathing and hoarse murmurings. Not knowing whether the strangled sounds came from him or her or both of them.
And then she was shivering beneath him, her release triggering his, and Jeff thought he’d die from pure pleasure. Surely no man could experience such shattering joy and live.
I love you. I love you. Dear God, I love you. The words echoed over and over in his mind as he slipped into an oblivious gray aftermath, not caring whether he’d said them aloud or only in his thoughts. I love you.
8
IT WAS A VERY LONG TIME before Autumn summoned the strength to move. Jeff was lying beside her, his eyes closed, one arm draped across her breasts, but she knew that he was awake. Like her, he was making a very slow recovery from their lovemaking.
There were no words to describe what had happened between them. Nothing in her experience, not even in her fantasies, had prepared her. She would not have believed herself capable of losing control so completely, of being so thoroughly mesmerized by another person. It was as if their minds, as well as their bodies, had been joined, so that there was no separation between them. She would never have allowed anyone else that much power over her.
No, that sounded as if she’d had some choice in the matter. She hadn’t. Jeff had touched her, and she’d lost herself in him. That simply.
Swallowing hard, she glanced swiftly around the deeply shadowed bedroom, illuminated only by the light spilling in from the living room. Everything looked the same. Bemused, she realized that the world had literally fallen away while Jeff had loved her. She had truly lost all sense of time and place and identity. Nothing had existed for her but him. The realization was daunting.
Jeff stirred at her side, and her gaze returned to him. A swath of light fell over him from the open doorway, creating interesting highlights and shadows on his golden skin. He was truly a beautiful man. Shoulders wide, buttocks tight, legs taut and long. Though he was lying on his stomach, she could clearly picture his chest, broad and tanned, lightly furred, angling down to a flat stomach and hard thighs. The rest of him was impressively proportioned, as well. To her utter amazement, her pulse quickened as the memories assailed her. Moments before she’d been exhaustedly satiated. How could she want him again so soon?
Jeff’s dark eyelashes fluttered, then lifted. “Hi,” he murmured as their gazes met.
“Hi.”
“Are you okay?”
She smiled. “I’m fine.”
He shifted his weight, settling himself more comfortably beside her, then lifted an eyebrow and reached behind him. They’d been so impatient that they hadn’t even stopped to turn back the bedspread but had made love diagonally on the bed. Now he chuckled as he pulled the stuffed toy from beneath his shoulder. “Who’s this?”
“That’s Pooh. An old friend,” she answered lightly, brushing a lock of dark hair away from his forehead, enjoying the intimacy of the gesture.
“A teddy bear? I hadn’t expected such frivolity from you, Autumn.”
Lifting her head in mock indignation, she scowled at him. “I’ll have you to know that I’m as capable of frivolity as anyone. Besides, it’s not a teddy bear. It’s Winnie the Pooh.”
“You do realize that he’s missing an ear?”
“Mmm. I’m afraid I’m responsible for that.”
“How’d you do it?”
“Summer tried to take him away from me once when she was five and I was four. I had a good grip on his ear, but she had the rest of him.”
Jeff chuckled. “I can imagine you as a willful little girl, fighting with your sisters. You must have been adorable.”
“I was a holy terror. It’s a wonder I survived.”
He pulled her head onto his shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. “You turned out quite nicely.”
“Thank you. I’ll bet you were a well-behaved little boy. Nice manners, clean clothes, an apple for teacher.”
“Are you daring to call me perfect again?”
“Would I do that?”
“You would,” he answered sternly. “As a matter of fact, I was a well behaved little boy.”
“I knew it.”
“Unless I lost my temper,” he continued, ignoring her comment.
“You don’t have a temper.”
He laughed. “I’m afraid there are those who would gladly contradict you. I’ll admit that I don’t lose my temper very often, but when I do, I have a hard time controlling it. I’m not at all proud of that fact, you understand.”
“You don’t sound particularly ashamed of it, either.”
“Only because you seem to like me better with flaws.”
“I explained that. I start feeling insecure when you seem too perfect. But I think I can accept you with a temper and a soap-opera addiction.”
His arms tightened fractionally around her bare shoulders. “If not, I’ll gladly come up with some more vices.” He sounded just a bit too serious to be entirely teasing.
Autumn quickly changed the subject. “Didn’t I hear you mention dinner earlier this evening?”
Jeff went still, then laughed contritely. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. You must be starved. It completely slipped my mind.”
He’d called her “honey” again. She really should mention to him that she didn’t like being called “honey.” Or at least she hadn’t liked it until she’d heard it said in his deep voice.
“Why don’t we order a pizza?” she suggested, reluctant to go out again that evening.
“Good idea. Make it a large one with everything. My treat.”
“No, mine. It was my idea, after all.”
“I asked you for dinner, remember? It was my fault that we got distracted before we could eat.”
“I had something to do with that distraction. And I—”
“Deal.” She grinned at him, well aware, as he was, that she hadn’t cared less who paid for the pizza. She just liked arguing with him.
Still laughing, Jeff pushed himself onto one elbow and looked down at her, his hand cupping her cheek. “I can tell that our relationship will never be dull. You’re going to keep me on my toes, aren’t you?”
Unwilling to define their tentative relationship just then, Autumn rolled away from him and pulled on her robe. “I’ll order the pizza.”
Jeff reached for his pants. “Tell them to make it snappy, will you? I seem to have worked up quite an appetite.”
“BABS, YOU’RE GOING to make yourself sick. Don’t you know that pizza isn’t good for dogs?”
Autumn smiled at Jeff’s serious tone of voice. “Don’t tell her that, Jeff. She doesn’t know.”
He glanced laughingly at her. “What? That pizza’s not good for dogs?”
“No. That she is a dog.”
“Oh. Here, Babs, have another slice of pizza. Want a beer?”
Autumn laughed at his foolishness and munched on her own dinner, her eyes lingering on the lock of dark hair that had again fallen boyishly over Jeff’s forehead. She couldn’t seem to look away from him. She tried to tell herself a modern woman indulging in a modern, no-strings-attached affair shouldn’t be having these giddy, tender feelings, but there didn’t seem to be much she could do about it just then. She shrugged those stern thoughts away, telling herself that she was sure she’d be more herself the next day, after the wonder of Jeff’s lovemaking had worn off.
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