Come Undone

by Madelynne Ellis

  The lyrics to one of his songs played in her head.

  Not yet. ‘Will you touch yourself? Show me how you like to get off.’

  ‘What?’ His mouth fell open as he gasped. ‘All day we’ve waited, we’ve flown right across Europe to get some quality time alone, and you want to watch me stroke it?’

  ‘Isn’t that what you do when you’re tense? Stroke one off first so you don’t embarrass yourself.’

  ‘I’m not going to embarrass myself.’

  ‘Aren’t you?’ She shimmied off the table with the hem of the T-shirt clutched tight to her thighs to prevent it rising.

  ‘So, if I touch you here, and circle around a bit, maybe stroke a little just here, you won’t come because of that?’

  His fingers curled against the carpet, and his breath hissed between his teeth. ‘That’s not the same thing at all.’

  ‘Isn’t it?’ She made a V with her fingers and stroked them down either side of his shaft to the root, where she splayed her hand across his abs. The muscles there tensed beneath her caress. It was tempting to enclose him in her mouth again; she’d enjoyed blowing him. However, right now, she wanted to see him come.

  Dani rested her head against Xane’s shoulder. ‘Please, I really want to watch you.’

  Xane made a ‘grr’ noise deep in his throat. He sucked his upper lip.

  ‘Humour me,’ she begged. ‘It’s a fantasy of mine.’ She’d never watched a man stroke himself before, although she’d imagined it plenty. Every time she saw Xane on stage, legs splayed, hair flying, his leathers riding low on his hips, her thoughts strayed in that direction. She didn’t think she was alone in her fantasy either. ‘What do you think women imagine when you grind your hips on stage?’

  ‘That I’m doing them?’

  ‘Yes, sometimes that. Other times, we’re extrapolating those stray touches you give yourself, imagining you performing in private just for us.’ She stroked her palm up his erection again.

  ‘Aw, fuck,’ he hissed. ‘For real, you’re asking me to do this?’

  ‘For real. I want to see a bit of you that’s not public domain. Give me a glimpse of the man behind that scary mask you put on. Let me see the look in your eyes as you come.’

  ‘Fuck!’ he said again. Nevertheless, he brought a hand to his cock and circled it two-thirds of the way up.

  Dani sunk her teeth into her bottom lip as she watched him make a slow slide, once, up and then back down. It oughtn’t to be so hot, given the act was so goddamned simple, but it was. He looked so painfully beautiful, lying next to her, stroking himself with simple confidence.

  ‘I’ve thought about how you’d do this,’ she whispered into his ear. ‘I use to lie in my bed –’ not entirely true, she’d hidden in her wardrobe ‘– and I’d touch myself while I was thinking of you and how you’d move your hand, and whereabouts you’d squeeze.’

  ‘And there I was thinking that women only dreamed of me making long slow love to them. I didn’t realise I could satisfy so many by whipping my cock out on stage and jacking off.’

  ‘I’m not sure how that’d go down with the guys, or the authorities.’

  ‘Screw the authorities.’ A broad smirk stretched his lips. ‘Do you think none of the men ever think about fucking me?’

  Dani stiffened slightly. The notion of some guy coming on to Xane made her uneasy. Actually, homosexuality made her uneasy. Not that Xane would react to that sort of proposition. He was plainly into girls or he wouldn’t be here now.

  ‘Do guys sneak into your dressing rooms like Ginny did?’ she asked, not really sure she wanted to know the answer.

  ‘Some do.’

  ‘But you don’t.’

  ‘I hope you’re not getting any saucy ideas, miss. I don’t do performance duets.’

  She didn’t entirely follow his thoughts at first. Weren’t they a sort of duet now? Oh, he meant he wouldn’t perform with another man for her entertainment. ‘No!’ she blurted. ‘I’d never …’

  ‘Good, ’cause the only person I want right now is you.’ He smiled with his lips drawn back from his teeth. ‘OK, let’s do this, but afterwards I get a fantasy fulfilled too.’

  ‘Anything,’ she agreed, adding a teeny, silent proviso that she got to make a swift bathroom stop beforehand. And oh, God, what had she agreed to? Dani’s mind spun back to the photographs on the walls of his cottage. Even without that evidence of his kinky side, one only had to look at him to see his tastes ran counter to the norm. If the nipple rings and the tattoos weren’t enough to prove it, then there were the bruises he’d insisted she make around his neck. Plus, he’d already hinted that the idea of a girl splayed over his lap with her panties down and his palm warming her rear turned him on. He might insist on doing that, or worse. He might try to take her anally, or insist on gagging her and tying her up. She wasn’t sure she could go through with any of that. So why wasn’t she back-pedalling? Why instead did she lean over and kiss him in order to seal the agreement?

  Xane relaxed against the carpet. He stretched out fully, with his head turned so that he could watch her reaction. With one hand, he circled the root of his cock, while the other worked the shaft.

  ‘How quickly can you come?’

  ‘In a rush?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘When I’m this worked up, very, very quickly.’

  Certainly he seemed rather tentative in the way he touched himself. His hold remained loose, and his stroking was confined to quite a small area. He avoided the head altogether. Dani didn’t solely concentrate on his wrist movements. It was the look in his pale eyes she found truly fascinating – a sort of dazed and yet intense pleasure. His breath quickened along with the speed of his movement. He became so frantic; she didn’t know how he didn’t come.

  ‘I want to be inside you,’ he confessed. ‘This isn’t enough. I want your hands on me, and your mouth.’

  ‘I could bite you,’ she offered, which sent such a tremor through his body she thought it might actually set him off. Xane gritted his teeth as if he thought the same. ‘Here.’ She traced a spot on his hip. ‘Or here.’ He bent his knee at the suggestion to offer up his inner thigh to her.

  ‘Do it,’ he said scooping her up towards him. ‘Right there.’

  She marked him, while his fingers knotted in her hair, holding her in place.

  ‘That’s it,’ he cried as his body convulsed, and he came in long sticky jets.

  Dani hugged him tight as he lay recovering his breath. She stroked his brow. Then drew a line over his top lip, making him twitch and snap his teeth together. Five minutes, she reckoned, and then he’d be standing ready for round two.

  ‘Shall we get something to eat?’ she suggested.

  Xane made a growl of protest. ‘You’re torture. Absolute torture. I’m going to start getting a complex.’ He peeped at her from out of the corners of his eyes. ‘Maybe you don’t really want to do wicked things with me.’

  ‘Xane, I do, but I haven’t eaten since yesterday, and I’ve a feeling things might get energetic later. A little fuel might help.’

  Xane flipped onto his feet. He snatched a box of tissues off a side table and set to work cleaning himself up. ‘Dinner,’ he agreed. ‘Then I’m going to fuck you so hard there’ll be a dent in the wall.’

  ‘Promise?’

  ‘Cross my heart. And don’t plan any long walks for tomorrow.’

  ‘I won’t.’ She grinned. ‘I’ll just get changed.’

  Chapter 16

  Dani scampered towards the bedroom with the single goal of covering up her scars.

  As in the rest of the suite, expense and good taste had gone into the bedroom design. A large window flooded the room with light while the pale-blue colour scheme gave the room a crisp, fresh feel without making it seem cold. More voile hung across the windows, and exactly the right combination of antique furniture complemented the more modern fittings. A breeze wafted down from the slowly rotating overhead fan.

 
; The bed itself could probably have slept every member of Black Halo, with pillows to spare.

  ‘There are some things for you, on the right,’ Xane called through from the lounge. ‘Since I dragged you here in a rush, I thought you might appreciate some –’ He broke off. ‘Well, see what you think.’

  What he devil had he bought her? Stockings? Itsy-bitsy lingerie? When had he even had time to shop? God help her if he actually expected her to model them. She wasn’t prancing around in her underwear for anyone. He ought to have brought Ginny along if he wanted stuff like that.

  Dani froze uncertainly near the foot of the bed. Her case sat in the corner, beside a portable stand full of designer dresses. She about-turned, convinced she’d missed Xane’s gift, but there was no other obvious item.

  Case temporarily forgotten, she closed in on the rack. He couldn’t seriously have bought her all these. They had to have cost the equivalent of her yearly rent, more maybe.

  Staggered, yet unable to keep a grin off her face, Dani ran through the line of outfits. They were all the exact mix of stylish and subversive she expected one of his dates to wear; the sort of clothes that made Elspeth Shriik look like a goddamned goddess.

  Sudden cramp ripped through Dani’s stomach at the thought that Xane had intended them for Black Halo’s keyboardist. That’s how he’d conjured them at such short notice. The same was probably true of the room. You didn’t get a reservation in a place like this without booking months in advance. Xane had intended to bring Elspeth here after last night’s show. It was her he’d meant to spend the weekend bedding, not crazy Dani Fosbrook, who came out in hives at the thought of undressing for him but who really, really wanted to be with him.

  Dani cast the bed an awkward glance, where her mind conjured an image of Xane poised above Elspeth, his lean back bared and the firm muscles of his rear flexing as the pair made their own miniature earthquake.

  A twofold hatred of the other woman exploded in her chest: firstly, because she’d been with Xane and he’d obviously loved her; and secondly, because she’d hurt him so badly there was now an unholy rift in the band.

  Dani hadn’t overheard much that morning, only that Steve Matlock and Elspeth had got married. Considering that rumours of a relationship between Xane and Elspeth had been rife for years, it didn’t take much to fathom the cause of Xane’s impromptu stage exodus. She wondered how long Elspeth and Xane had been broken up. Her spidey sense said: not that long, possibly under a month, and maybe less than a week. Hell, maybe even less than that, which she guessed made her rebound material. No matter, she’d take whatever she could get.

  ‘OK?’ Xane remarked. Dani lifted her head to find him poised in the archway that separated one part of the suite from the other. He remained naked, thus drawing her attention from the clothes to the smooth, solid lines of his torso and the ink that encompassed the top of one arm and the whole of his shoulder. He seemed so unreal standing there, as though he were a figment of her imagination, except that he looked twice as good in the flesh as he had in her fantasies. He smiled. ‘They’ll fit. I made sure.’ He nodded at the rail of clothes.

  Then perhaps the clothing had been bought for her. After all, she and Elspeth weren’t even vaguely the same shape. The other woman had no hips or butt and only a microscopic pair of tits. Dani had a whole lot more bounty in every regard.

  ‘How?’ she enquired. It wasn’t as if he’d ever had the opportunity to check out her wardrobe and see what size she wore.

  Xane traced the outline of her body in the air with both hands. ‘I’ve a good memory for figures.’

  That was one helluva memory.

  ‘Are you going to try them on?’

  Dani ran her hand through the hangers, and picked out the blue-black number with a cinched-in waist. She held it to her chest. Xane gave her a thumbs-up. ‘Perfect. Get changed and we’ll head out.’ Apparently Xane had decided to work on the principle that the sooner they went out, the sooner they’d get back.

  ‘What about you?’ Dani asked, wondering if he was planning to don his drainpipe jeans again. After all, he’d walked on to the plane without a speck of luggage. ‘Did you have them shop for you too?’

  ‘No need. I’m already sorted.’ He opened the nearest wardrobe to reveal an acreage of clothes.

  ‘Huh?’ She blinked in confusion. ‘I thought this was a hotel?’

  ‘It is, but this suite is permanently reserved for the use of my family. I often stay here.’

  His family? What family? Did rock stars have family?

  ‘Isn’t that expensive?’

  He shrugged.

  Of course it was mental to expect him to have any concept of money. He’d probably made millions off the sales of Black Halo’s last album, not to mention what he’d earned off the previous five.

  ‘Why here?’

  ‘My father was a close friend of the Grimaldis,’ Xane explained. ‘I often stayed here as a child.’ Fine lines creased the corners of his eyes, betraying a sense of sudden sadness. Clearly, his father wasn’t around any more.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘When did he pass away?’

  Xane made a slashing motion with his head so that his long hair fell across his face. ‘When I was thirteen. Don’t worry about it. We weren’t close.’ He turned away from her, leaving her staring at his naked back and the cute crease of his arse.

  ‘Me neither,’ she confided, or rather so her mum said. What few memories remained of her dad were good ones. She knew they had spent time together. He’d taught her to ride a bike and to swim. But then he’d cut her out of his life completely, as though she didn’t matter at all.

  ‘I’ll put this on,’ Dani said, meaning the dress she held. She made a swift dash for the en-suite carrying her toiletries.

  ‘Don’t come in,’ she added, realising there was no lock on the door. ‘I’ll be quick.’

  Chapter 17

  Xane turned the moment she fled. He stared at the space in which Dani had stood and banished all thoughts of his family to the high-security vault in the back of his mind. He hadn’t anything nice to say about any of them, so he preferred not to think about them. He was fairly certain they never wasted time thinking about him.

  The problem with families is that they were pervasive. They had a way of slipping into areas of your life where they had no reason to be. At the moment, he felt much the same way about his band mates. Visions of Elspeth and Steve, the time the three of them had stayed here, kept overlaying themselves on his surroundings, forcing him to remember. When, God, he really didn’t want to remember.

  Things had seemed so perfect last summer. Elspeth’s inventiveness, her openness to experimentation excited him. He’d jumped blindly at every challenge. Thinking about it now, he ought to have foreseen the outcome. That it would stop being a game. He’d known perfectly well in which direction his own feelings were sliding, and he’d seen how besotted Elspeth had become with Steve too.

  Damn, if he could only cut away those memories and the associated pain, forget those times had ever happened.

  He wished Dani would hurry up. Didn’t she understand how badly he needed her? It was so much easier to live in the present when she was near, when he could focus all his energies on pleasing her.

  She was so soft and warm and willing. He loved that her touch was both tentative and eager to please. He was going to shower her with so much pleasure, starting the minute she got out of the bathroom that, unlike a certain other person, she’d never want to leave him. Maybe he’d be able to change her mind about dining out too. Room service here was pretty darned good, and that way he could feed her strawberries dipped in champagne, and sup fizz from her navel.

  ‘Bad,’ Xane chastened himself. That kind of imagery wasn’t going to help him wait patiently. Wanking, even with her watching, had done little to slake his lust. He wanted to get right inside her, lose himself in her soft curves and her heat and forget about everything else. Given they were alone in a hotel room wit
h a DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door, that shouldn’t have been proving so hard. Then again, he ought to have realised that it wouldn’t be as simple with her. The fact she was untypical of the girls he usually attracted was half the reason he liked her so much. Any other woman he’d have fucked bandy the previous night and forgotten by now. But then, no other fan had ever shown quite such a genuine interest in him as a person.

  Few people ever showed interest in him as a person.

  Xane rubbed his jaw and then plonked his arse down on the bed.

  It didn’t help that she’d worn his clothes all day. When he’d arrived at her tiny flat to collect her, he’d expected to find her dolled up with a view to enticing him. Instead, she was still sashaying about in his cast-offs as though they were the most comfortable thing on the planet. For some reason that really got to him. He wasn’t used to being associated with comfort. No one ever came to him seeking the sort of hug that made everything better. They went to Rock Giant for that. Mostly, they came to him looking to make money, or else to do naked and depraved things.

  Sure, he had talent in all those areas, but it’d be nice if someone occasionally recognised that there was more to him than that. He thought Steve was one of the few people who did. It’d been he and Steve that had formed the band. He and Steve who’d said bollocks to the rules and made their own music, with their own sound. If he’d had to pick one person from around him who was the least likely to abuse his trust, then Steve was the guy on whom he’d have bet his money. All of which apparently proved how fucking little he really knew.

  Elspeth, of course, was a different matter. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be surprised at her actions. He’d turned a blind eye to her often selfish behaviour while they’d been together, but deep down he’d always known she’d loved him more for what he could do for her than out of genuine affection.

  Yep, not going there, he reminded himself. This jaunt was supposed to be about distancing himself from all that crap, and maybe just maybe finding some perspective.