Secured Heart

by Measha Stone

  He’d heard her spitting curses and threats to her captors when he’d entered the house. Her strength had given him hope and helped him focus on getting to her.

  When he’d stepped into the basement and found her hanging so helplessly from the hook in the ceiling, he’d wanted to kill. When he touched her to take her down, she’d been trembling. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and hold her. To kiss away the aches and pains.

  “You haven’t called her? Gone over to her apartment?” George asked with shock, his feet dropping from the desk. “Man, get your ass to her house.” He stood from his chair and shot a glare of his own at his longtime friend.

  “Of course, I called her. Voicemail. I left four messages. Four, George. Have you ever known me to chase down a woman like this? Hell, she has me all tied up inside. All fucked in the head.”

  “Yeah. That’s love, dickhead,” George spat at him.

  “I’m aware of that,” Kendrick stated dryly, prying himself out of his chair. “Last night was the first time I’ve ever been unsure of being able to control myself. If I had touched her, even to comfort her, I wasn’t sure if I could do it without hurting her. I was so pissed! She completely disregarded her safety. I told her to stay away from Ted, and instead, she hunted him down! I was giving her space, time to think about what she wanted, so we could work it all out. She was off trying to be an undercover cop!”

  His temper rose again. “Any other girl and I would have said fuck it and moved on, not wallowed like a little pussy this week.”

  George’s low chuckle caught Kendrick’s attention, and he turned his stare on him.

  “Don’t go getting pissed at me.” George put his hands in the air to ward off Kendrick’s anger. “You weren’t just mad because she disobeyed you. You were pissed and hurt that she left you, and you thought she didn’t care. You think her going off and planning this little sting had nothing to do with you. You think, you dumbass, she wasn’t wallowing in her own self-pity this week.” George got up and strode to the door of his office, yanking it open.

  “You’re an idiot. Go to her house. Drag her out of whatever mess she’s put herself in tonight, whip her ass for being so careless, and then love the fuck out of her. You claimed her. I saw that bracelet. You pretend it’s just a little marker, something to keep the other Doms away during play here. But it’s more. It’s your marker. It’s your claim.”

  “I know.” Kendrick walked to the door, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. “I can’t lose her. This whole thing…it’s brought back all of that shit with Elizabeth.” He dragged a hand through his hair and pushed it back in his pocket.

  “Yeah. I get that. But this isn’t then. That wasn’t your fault. This isn’t your fault. You got to Kelly in time. You saved her from that fuck.” George slapped a comforting hand on Kendrick’s shoulder and gave him a shove through the door. “Now go.”

  Kendrick headed to the lobby. The early sounds of the dungeon beginning to come alive, laughter and chattering, filled the rooms. He ignored everyone as he focused on the front door.

  His lead team member was at the reception desk, waving him down. Kendrick shook his head, reached for the front door, and threw it open.

  Whatever trouble his man was having with a club member, he’d have to figure it out on his own.

  Kendrick had a woman to hunt down.

  When Kendrick pulled his car to the curb at Kelly’s building, he could see the lights on in her apartment. He let out a long breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

  He’d expected her to be home, but it was Friday night. She could have been out with her friends. Although, given the previous evening’s events, he’d hoped she’d used her good sense and stayed in. It was a relief to find her home.

  He anticipated some resistance to his entry to the building when he pressed her bell and was surprised when the loud buzzing sound signaled the unlocking of the bolt. The door to her apartment was open when he came to it, and he pushed it open further to look in the room. He’d told her about not leaving her door open like that, even when she thought she knew who was coming up the stairs.

  Royce and Alex stared back at him as he peeked his head into the apartment. He let out a sigh of relief and entered, shutting the door behind him.

  “Hey.” He nodded in greeting.

  The two men nodded in return.

  “Royce, I don’t think—” Jessica entered the crowded living room and caught Kendrick’s eye. Her calm expression turned dark, her lips thinned, and her eyes narrowed. “Well, it’s about damn time!” she spat at him.

  “Jessica.” Royce’s tone held a warning, which Jessica completely ignored.

  “Where the hell have you been? She’s tormenting herself with the stupid idea that you hate her! Why would you let her twist in the wind like that?” Her anger was apparent as her hands fisted into balls.

  “Jessica.” Royce’s voice sharpened. “Stop it.”

  She took a deep breath and looked at Royce. Her eyes softened slightly, but the irritation still lingered.

  “He hurt her.” She jerked a thumb in Kendrick’s direction.

  “How he deals with Kelly is not your business.” Royce shook his head.

  “Ah, hell.” Alex threw his hands in the air and closed the distance between himself and Kendrick. He clapped a hand on his shoulder and led him past the angry woman toward Kelly’s room. “She’s supposed to be sleeping, but I keep hearing the TV flip on and off,” he said as they reached her door. “She does think you hate her. She thinks you’ll never forgive her.”

  “Hate her? I don’t think that’s possible.” Kendrick shook his head, his voice low. “Thank you for looking after her. She may not like seeing me in there. She’s been ignoring my calls all day.”

  Alex looked confused and pulled a phone from his back pocket. “I’ve had her phone all night. She didn’t get any calls.” He looked down at the device and pressed the side button. Nothing happened. He gave a low groan. “She didn’t charge it. It’s been dead all day, I bet.”

  Kendrick took the phone from him and knocked on the door quietly. The soft murmurs of the television could be heard, but nothing else.

  “She’s probably sleeping,” Alex said.

  Kendrick knocked again. Still nothing. He slowly opened the door enough to get a look at her. Her hair was all over the pillow, covering her face and chest. She was breathing steadily, and her eyes were closed.

  He shut the door quietly. “Let’s leave her for now.”

  Kendrick and Alex walked back to the living room, where Jessica stood in the corner of the room with her arms folded over her chest and her glare steady on Kendrick.

  “Jess, stop. He did call her. She never charged her phone.” Alex waved a hand at her.

  She didn’t relax.

  “If I remember right, you ran off on Royce once.” He pointed out.

  “Yeah. And he came after me. Kendrick just stayed away.”

  “Stayed away?” Kendrick tried to keep the anger that was building inside of him from reaching his voice, but the accusation was becoming too much. “You have no idea how hard it was to give her space. She wouldn’t have responded to me barging over here, demanding to take me back. She needed to figure out what she wanted, what she needed. At no point in the last week did I think of anything other than getting that woman back into my life!” He felt his heart racing in his ears.

  “Good.” Jessica dropped her arms to her sides. “She thinks you hate her. You made Alex take her home last night. It should have been you.” Her voice was no longer laced with acid, but had turned to lecture status.

  “Jessica.” Royce warned again. “Not everyone responds as you do.” He walked to her and pulled her into his arms. “I know you’re worried for her, but she’s going to be okay. Kendrick will handle her how he sees fit. He will give her what she needs.” Royce kissed the top of her head.

  “I couldn’t bring her home last night. I had to go to the sta
tion and be sure those two were processed correctly. Peltner is a lead detective in the precinct. I didn’t want any favors being pulled during his booking. And Ted’s slipped through their cracks too many times. I waited until I was sure they’d be spending the night in lock up before I left. Kelly had been through enough already. I wasn’t going to let her sit in the station, while all that took place. And I was so angry with her, so relieved she was okay, I didn’t trust myself around her,” he confessed. “If I’d touched her, had tried to hold her… I didn’t trust I could do what I needed to do after that. I sent her home to protect her. As far as hating her? I love that woman too damn much to hate her.”

  “Jess, we’re going home. Kendrick can take it from here.” Royce grabbed Jessica’s sweater from where it had been tossed over the couch and handed to her.

  She looked reluctant. “I don’t know—”

  “I said we’re leaving.” Royce’s voice left no room for her to quibble any further, and she knew it.

  She slid her arms through her sleeves. “Alex, you wanna get some dinner?” she asked as she reached for her purse.

  “No.” Royce shook his head. “You and I need to get home.” He slid his own coat on over his suit and held out his hand for her.

  “I was only protecting her,” she whispered when she took his hand.

  “Yes, I know.” Royce nodded to Kendrick and then to Alex as they walked to the front door. “Kendrick, I wish you all the luck with Kelly. If she is as stubborn as her friend here, it should be interesting.” Royce winked at Kendrick, and he and Jessica disappeared into the hall.

  “Well. I guess you have this under control. She took some Ibuprofen about three hours ago and will probably want some more soon. Her shoulder was bothering her pretty badly. She’ll have a headache from all the crying, too.” Alex headed over to the door and turned back before he left. “She’s really being hard on herself. Don’t go easy on her.” Alex suggested and left Kendrick standing in the living room alone.

  The entire evening was becoming messier than he’d thought, and he hadn’t even talked with Kelly yet.

  Once the door was closed and Kendrick had the bolt in place, he headed back to her room. He had to see her, to feel her, to make sure she was okay, safe.

  He peeled off his jacket and tossed it on the loveseat before heading down the hall to her room. As he turned the corner into the hallway, he jumped at the sight of Kelly standing outside her door, her hair a mess all around her, her eyes puffy and red, her cheeks swollen from crying. He had never seen a more beautiful sight.

  “You love me?” she asked with a sniffle.

  CHAPTER thirty-three

  Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

  Kelly stood in the hall of her apartment, staring at Kendrick. She’d heard his voice after Jessica’s overbearing tirade, and she’d jumped from her bed. A sharp pain had shot through her, but she’d ignored it.

  When Kendrick responded to Jessica, his voice had been hard. He wasn’t yelling though; he never yelled. He was being extremely serious with her. He’d said he loved Kelly.

  The declaration had stilled her.

  “Kelly,” he said her name as though it was the most delicious dessert he’d ever tasted. “You’re up,” he stated the obvious.

  The urge to run to him and throw her body against him was strong, but she held out and settled for staring at him.

  He looked rugged. The usual amount of stubble on his chin was longer; he hadn’t shaved. His eyes looked puffy, tired. His hair was mussed, as though he’d been shoving his hands through it over and over again.

  “I heard Jessica’s ranting,” she answered him when the silence grew between them. “She can be a bit overbearing at times.” She shifted her feet on the carpeted floor.

  “She was just looking out for you.” Kendrick took a step toward her. “Your shoulder, does it hurt still?” Another step closing the gap.

  She nodded.

  “You should be in bed.”

  “Why?” She tilted her head. “Alex kept shoving me there, too. Bed isn’t going to cure my shoulder.” She waved him off with the arm that didn’t feel like it had been torn from her body and thrown back on with rusty staples.

  “Rest will help you heal faster.” He pointed out and took another step toward her. She could smell the musky scent of him and itched to touch him.

  “You love me,” she said again, no question this time, just a statement said with a smile and confidence.

  He stopped in his movements and sighed. “Yes. Of course, I do. I don’t see how anyone couldn’t love you. You impertinent, impulsive, crazy woman. Now, get into bed and we can talk.” He pointed to the bedroom.

  She felt the large boulder in her chest crumble. A warm sensation of hope filled her instead. She couldn’t help the large grin that crossed her lips as she turned around and did as he ordered. She marched back into her room and sat on her bed, leaning against the headboard and folding her legs in front of her.

  Kendrick followed her and sat on the bed facing her. “You scared me,” he said with a firm tone. “You just walked out on me with no explanation.”

  “I know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry about that.”

  “So explain yourself now.” He folded his arms over his chest and waited.

  She looked at him, wondering where to begin. Her worries of a week ago seemed so silly and unimportant after the last twenty-four hours.

  “Ever since I was little, I’ve wanted a family. A husband and kids. I wanted to be surrounded by my family every day. I barely saw my parents, and when I did, it was at a silent dinner where they both either were reading over work or talking to each other about work. I was more of an ornament in the house than their child.

  “I’ve spent the last several years looking for a husband.” She laughed at the absurdity of her statement. “But while I’ve been doing that, I’ve been falling more and more into this world I didn’t think I would ever find. I know it’s silly to think the romance novels are right. But the idea of a man owning me, possessing me, it was just so wonderful. When I met you, everything just felt right. Normal. Sitting at your feet, giving over control, it was all just like breathing. There was no thinking about it; it just happened. At first, I was so happy at finding my place, at finding the spot I felt most at home, most like me, I forgot how much I wanted the other things. Marriage, kids, a family. But then.” She paused to look at him.

  He was concentrating on her words and nodded for her to continue. “But then, I started to really, really like you, and I started thinking about a family. I figured you can’t have both. I can’t be your submissive and your wife and a mother.” She took a deep breath.

  “Why didn’t you say something to me?” he asked, placing his hands over hers when she began to fidget.

  “We hadn’t been together very long. I didn’t want to scare you away by asking about kids and stuff.”

  “So you decided for me that it wouldn’t work, and you left. Without considering that maybe I do want marriage and kids and a dog and all that?”

  “Dog?” she asked.

  “Yes. A white terrier that barks at the annoying neighbor’s cat and snuggles up to you on the bed when I’m working late. That’s when our little girl isn’t running in from a nightmare or because she misses us.” His words couldn’t have been more poetic if he’d been singing them to the tune of a lute.

  “Oh.” Kelly wrinkled her brow and felt tears well up in her eyes again. After all the crying she’d done that evening, she didn’t think it would be possible for more tears to come. “I didn’t know.”

  “Of course, you didn’t. You didn’t ask.”

  “You didn’t offer,” she countered and slammed her lips shut at his darkened stare.

  “Like you said, we’d only been together a short time. But if you’d been worried, you should have said something. Why do you think you can’t be my submissive and my wife and a mom? It’s not like I’m going to tie you up in the living room all day and have you nud
e in the kitchen. Well…okay, until we have kids, I’d have you nude in the kitchen. But a family only changes some of the ways we live the dynamic, not the dynamic itself.”

  “Yeah, I realize that now. I bumped into Teri at the coffee shop. She has the cutest little boy. I just, well, I freaked out,” she said again. “But by then, I’d already messed it all up. You let me leave. I figured it was over.”

  “I was giving you space to think, but obviously, that’s a dangerous thing to do.” His eyebrow shot up, and he moved his eyes to focus on her shoulder. “Okay, now, why the hell did you try to catch Ted? I told you not to. I was pretty damn clear about what you should do if you saw him. And you went and drew him out!”

  She could tell he was trying to hold his temper back, but the mention of Ted was making his eyes darken and his jaw tighten.

  Anyone who didn’t know Kendrick would probably start to quiver beneath that stare, but she wasn’t intimidated by it. “Detective Peltner called me the day after I saw you. He insisted I help, said Ted was targeting younger girls and was becoming more dangerous. I knew I blew it with you but I thought if I could get Ted behind bars, if I could do that for you, maybe…well…I don’t know…I just thought you’d want him off the streets. Not able to hurt anyone again.”

  Kendrick scooted further up the bed until he could press his lips to her forehead.

  The warmth of the kiss melted her, she couldn’t hold back anymore. She wrapped her good arm around him and quietly cried into his neck. “I’m so sorry I fucked it all up. Everything.” She sniffled.

  He pulled away and wiped her cheeks clear of the falling tears. “You fucked up, yes. But you didn’t screw us up beyond repair. I love you,” he said the words slowly, clearly. He picked up her arm and gently lifted it. He pulled the bracelet he had given her weeks ago out from his pocket and slid it around her wrist.