Six Reasons

by Randileigh Kennedy

  “Steve, look, it’s just that I…” Rational thoughts escaped me at that moment, and I really didn’t know what to say to him. He was right. Being with him was right.

  “Look, I’ll admit it, Meg. I heard you ask me for a reason that one night back in college. I pretended like I didn’t hear you, but I did. I was a coward. I knew I had a shot, Meg. One shot. And I was so scared to get it wrong.”

  The tears began to collect in the corners of my eyes. I knew there was no way to stop him from saying what he was about to say.

  “If I could go back, Meg, I would’ve had the right answer. But I can’t go back to that night. And honestly, I don’t even know what the right answer was for you back then, but I know what I would say now. You want a reason why I should be the guy who gets to love you? I’ll give you a hundred reasons, Meg. A thousand reasons.”

  “Steve, don’t,” I whispered as slow tears rolled down my cheeks.

  “Reason one,” he began, holding up a finger. “I have loved you since the day I met you. Since our freshman year, since tenth grade homeroom - there were a thousand moments I loved you. Ever since that first day we met in the hallway, you’ve always been the reason I strive to be the best version of myself that I can be. I know I wasn’t ready back then for a girl like you, but I promise you I am that man now. I’ve literally loved you half my life, Meg.” He stared directly at me as he spoke. “Reason two,” he continued, as unrelenting tears fell down my face. “Even when you look your worst, like right now with a bruise on your face and mascara pouring down your cheeks, you’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. That has never changed. Three…”

  “Steve,” I interrupted, but it was useless. He kept talking.

  “I know you better than anyone else. Even better than your girlfriends do. I know when you’re smiling out of politeness versus genuine happiness. I know when you’re hungry by the way you get a little snappy. I know that song you always sing to yourself when you get ready is one that you used to sing with your grandfather as a child. Who else knows all of that about you?”

  “Have you read my diary?” I teased, wiping the tears off of my face.

  “I’m not done,” he replied, cutting me off. “Reason four, I can’t stay mad at you no matter how crazy you make me. And you know that’s true because you make me crazy all the time, and I have to let it go because making you happy means more than any anger I’m harboring towards you. Reason five, I’m still here. Where is anyone else, Meg? Everything we’ve been through, good or bad, and I’ve never left you. I’ve tried so hard to move on from you, but I keep coming back. I can’t walk away from this. That has to mean something Meg. I don’t want to spend another day not telling you how I feel. I’m completely crazy about you. That has to be enough.”

  I had full-fledged tears flowing down my face in that moment, and I knew I couldn’t stop them.

  “Reason six, Meg. Look at what just our friendship means to me. You don’t think my energy and passion for that commitment would be even greater if I got to love you?”

  Steve stared at me with unwavering eyes, waiting for me to respond.

  “Are you done?” I asked with a smirk on my tear-stained face.

  He shrugged his shoulders, looking overwhelmed as if he was unsure whether or not he should continue talking. His eyes pleaded with mine for a response.

  “That’s not a hundred reasons,” I said as my mouth turned up into a smile. “That was only six. Six reasons.” Steve walked up to me, placing his strong arms around my shoulders.

  “I would rather do this than keep talking,” he said into my ear, gently kissing the tears off my face. His lips met mine and they were passionate and sweet. Then in one swift motion, he scooped me up and we walked across the finish line together.

  “I guess I do need you,” I said softly.

  “Geez, that’s all you needed to say in the first place,” he teased. “I could have stopped talking long before spitting all of that out.”

  “I’m glad you did anyway,” I replied, touching his face.

  “We do still have one problem,” he answered back, kissing me gently. “I think what just happened at the finish line would be considered a tie. How are we going to figure out what to do later?”

  “I have an idea where we can go,” I replied, staring at him. His smile was so warm and genuine, and he often had that boyish look of excitement on his face. It was one of my favorite things about him. “We can rest up for a bit. I kind of want to sit in a hot bath for four hours. Then I want to show you something.”

  “Wait, I have to wait until after the bath for you to show me something?” he replied with a smirk.

  “Hey, guys,” Mallory said as she walked towards us, a little out of breath. “Did you see Johnny and me cheering for you guys around mile eight? I had to cut through a bunch of side streets to get over here.” She continued to breathe hard. “Why is he holding you?” she asked, gesturing towards us. “And why do you guys have stupid grins on your faces? What’s going on?”

  Steve and I looked at each other and snickered, not sure of exactly how to answer her.

  “Is that blood all over your leg?” Mallory screeched. “Oh my gosh, what’s going on? What happened? We need to get you to a doctor.”

  “I think I’m okay, I just buckled my ankle,” I explained. “It’s probably just a sprain. I don’t see any weird bones sticking out or anything,”

  “That’s your cue for whether or not you need a doctor? There has to be a bone sticking out?” she shrieked. “That’s a lot of blood, Meg.”

  “The blood is just mixing with my sweat, so it looks worse than it is. The shin is just a scrape,” I insisted. “I’m sure I just need to stay off my ankle for a bit. It probably just needs some rest. I’ll just keep off of it and I’m sure it will be fine.”

  “I’ll make sure she stays off of it,” Steve said with his usual sly grin. “I have some ideas.”

  I slapped his arm.

  “Seriously, what is going on with you guys?” Mallory asked again.

  “She needs me,” Steve said with an exaggerated shrug. “I swear she said it.”

  I smiled at Mallory, shaking my head. “He gave me a reason. More than one, actually.”

  CHAPTER 29

  After some lunch and a much needed shower, we decided to take a nap. I felt like I was moving in slow motion, and I knew my limbs needed the recuperation time. I expected some soreness after running for thirteen miles, but I had no idea it would take such a toll on me. We ended up sleeping for four hours, which surprised us both. When Steve and I woke up, we continued to commiserate together about our achy legs. My ankle was a little swollen, but I could actually put some pressure on it, which was a relief. I felt comforted knowing it wasn’t a more serious injury. I shot Mallory a quick text to thank her for her help that morning, and to let her know I was doing better. The abrasion on my shin had some bruising around it, but overall I was more sore than hurt. I promised myself it would be awhile before I went out for another run.

  “We don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to,” Steve said sympathetically. “I have plenty of food here. I can make us a nice dinner and we can watch a movie. Does that sound good to you?” His smile was endearing, and I loved how considerate he was.

  “That’s sounds pretty nice,” I answered, stretching out next to him on the couch. “But there’s somewhere I kind of wanted to go. Do you have any food we can take with us? Maybe we can have a little picnic?”

  “Sure. I’ll get it all together,” he replied, gently tucking a pillow under my head as he got up. “Lay here and rest a little longer.”

  I watched the Discovery Channel while Steve made noise in the kitchen. He was so thoughtful, and far more domestic than most guys I knew. He had prepared me plenty of meals over the years, mocking me for my inability to cook. It was something I really appreciated about him.

  “So I have everything ready,” he explained, motioning to an area of his kit
chen counter that I couldn’t quite see. “But I don’t really have anything to put it in. You may be surprised to hear this, but as a single guy living alone, I don’t exactly own a picnic basket. Come to think of it, does anyone own a picnic basket? Do people still do that?”

  “I forgive you,” I said with a light chuckle. “Maybe just throw it in a cooler? I know you have plenty of those.”

  “You want me to put all of this food I made in the sanctity of one of my beer coolers? I feel less manly by the minute around you,” he teased.

  “Who are you trying to impress?”

  “You,” he said, raising his hands dramatically. “Really? I do all of this for you.” He smiled and walked back over to me, reaching out his hand for mine. I happily obliged.

  “So where are we going?” he asked as I limped off the couch. Every single muscle in both of my legs ached. “Is it your ankle? You still can’t put much weight on it?”

  “Honestly my ankle doesn’t feel as bad as the rest of my body,” I moaned. “All of my muscles are tightening up. I’m afraid I’m going to fall over. My calves are so tight I feel like I’ll have to go down the stairs backwards.”

  “Am I going to have to carry you around? Because I’ll do it. I’ll throw you over my shoulder, wherever we’re going.”

  “I believe you,” I replied, letting out a small screech when he scooped me up.

  “Let’s go,” he said, carrying his cooler in one arm and me over his shoulder in another.

  “Aren’t you sore?” I asked, surprised by how effortless he looked while carrying so much.

  “It’s worse than I even imagined,” he said smiling. “But you don’t get the girl by complaining about sore thighs.”

  I put my arms around his neck. “Don’t you think you already got the girl?” I said quietly in his ear.

  “I don’t know yet,” he answered honestly. “Isn’t there some seventy-two hour test I have to pass? You may not still like me tomorrow. I know how you work,” he teased. He finally set me down by his Jeep and placed a lingering, slow kiss on my lips. He opened my passenger door and shot me a flirtatious look. I always knew he was a handsome guy, but the way his eyes looked at me made me certain in that moment that he was the most attractive man in the world.

  We talked and laughed on our drive, and I directed him to the winding mountain road I had traveled on several times in the last couple weeks. “It’s just a few more minutes up the mountain,” I explained, motioning out my window. “There’s a little pull-out area on the right.”

  We finally made it to our destination, and I saw the bench in front of where we parked; the same bench Ben and I sat on for our morning dates. We exited Steve’s Jeep and walked towards the seating area. I was relieved my ankle and limbs were loosening up a bit just by getting out and stretching. I didn’t feel as unsteady as I had earlier. As we neared the bench, the words inscribed on the back of it caught my eye. The inscription made me smile.

  Bench available.

  That was it. Simple words, but I was so relieved Ben respected my wish not to write anything about us on there. I felt like maybe now the bench could be my spot. Good memories, but no permanent personal stamp on it to remind me of something that wasn’t.

  “How’d you find this spot?” Steve asked quizzically. “I’ve never been here before. It’s beautiful up here, you can see the entire lake.”

  “Honestly, Ben found this place,” I said hesitantly.

  “Is he meeting us here? Should I go?” Steve said sarcastically, motioning back to his Jeep.

  “He’s gone for good, that’s not why I’m bringing you here,” I said back, trying to explain myself. “I mean, it is why I’m bringing you here. I thought we could watch the sunset together. Of course the sun sets behind us, so it’ll probably be awkward to watch from the bench. But I don’t know, I guess I just wondered what a sunset looked like from up here. And I just didn’t want to watch it alone.”

  Steve eyed me curiously, probably wanting to know what we were really doing here.

  “I don’t know, maybe that doesn’t make sense. But Ben and I would come up here and watch the sunrise, and it was amazing. I felt like I could think up here. My world seemed at ease and I felt like I could finally care about someone. This spot kind of opened me up. It felt real and honest and I just don’t want to lose that.”

  “I still feel weird about this conversation,” he replied honestly.

  “I’m just saying that I’m scared. I’m scared to love you. I’m scared of what that means, and how that could change us. But I guess up here, I just… I don’t know, I don’t feel scared. I feel hopeful, and open, and honest, and beautiful,” I explained, gently twirling around in my spot with my arms up. “There is just something about this place - something about how I feel here. And that’s how I want to feel about you.”

  “You are beautiful anywhere you are, Meg.” Steve walked up closer to me, placing a soft arm around my waist. “I want to be the one to make you feel like that.”

  We slowly sat down on the bench, and both our eyes simultaneously locked in on a note that was taped to the bench. I reached out first to grab it, and he watched me intently as I opened it.

  Someday a man is going to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Let him.

  There was no signature, but I knew who it was from. I smiled, looking back up at Steve.

  “He left a note for you?” he said cautiously.

  “Yeah,” I responded quietly. “I’m ready.”

  “Ready for what? Dinner? Are you hungry?” he asked, reaching for the cooler.

  “No,” I laughed, “I’m ready for this. For us.” I slowly reached out my hand and touched Steve’s face, and he covered my hand with his own.

  “I’ve loved you since the day I met you, Megan McGowen,” he said softly as he leaned in and kissed me. “I promise to love you better than anyone else ever could.” He kissed my face and in that moment I felt the exact way I had wished - hopeful, open, honest, and beautiful.

  We sat on the bench, gently kissing each other, breathing together - being together. It felt perfect and right and I knew it was finally the right time for us to explore whatever we were meant to be.

  The sun slowly set behind us, and streaks of orange and red shot across the mountains. The air was still and I could feel our heartbeats as we pressed against one another. His warm touch radiated through my body, and I knew this was the peace I didn’t know how to find. The sun continued to set, and we remained clinging to one another.

  “Can I take you home now?” Steve asked quietly, kissing my hand as it was entangled in his.

  “Yes,” I replied, staring into his eyes. “Just promise me more sunsets like this.”

  “We can come up here every night forever, if that’s what you want.” He slowly kissed me one more time, then scooped me up from the bench into his arms. “Whatever you want, Meg,” he whispered. “I just want to take you back home now.”

  “You realize we still have one slight problem, right?” I said softly. “What about the dare I still have to complete? Remember? Three months?”

  He looked into my eyes and gently kissed me. A devilish smile spread across his face, and he whispered softly into my ear. “We’ll have to start that tomorrow.”

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Randileigh Kennedy grew up in Nevada, and now resides in the Midwest. When she’s not writing romance books, she’s stays busy planning theme parties and feeding her healthy Pinterest addiction with home improvement and DIY projects. You can check out more from her at RandileighKennedy.com.

  If you enjoyed this book, along with any of the others in this series, please make sure to leave a review on the site where you purchased it. The time you took to read this book is very much appreciated, and your feedback helps authors out more than you know.

 

 

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