Teacher

by R. L. Merrill

  “Sure. That’ll be fine.” I was tired but pleased with his progress and surprisingly, I was enjoying spending the time with him. I mean, who wouldn’t? He was funny and he was easy on the eyes... He was a freaking rock star living in the Hollywood Hills. I was so out of my league here.

  Dinner was heavy again, another pasta dish. I forced myself to eat a decent amount. I hated that he watched me eat. Not being able to work out like I used to, I tried to be very careful. And heavy foods, especially starches, were really not good for me. I knew that’s what he needed for his poor throat, but I was going to weigh 500lbs if I kept eating like this!

  Almost like he could read my mind, Danny whispered, “So what do you usually do on weekends when you aren’t at the dance studio?”

  I blew out a breath. It was so much easier when we weren’t talking about me.

  “Grade papers? Work on curriculum? I don’t know. That’s it, really.”

  He looked perplexed. Again he had that look on his face like he wanted to ask more.

  “What? Not everyone can live the rock star life.”

  He snorted and whispered, “Just what do you think a rock star's life is?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’d imagine wild parties, strip clubs, shows, bars, meeting celebrities, travelling wherever you want...” He shook his head and laughed soundlessly. “Am I wrong? That’s not your life?”

  “Not for a long time, no. Maybe the early tours, but no. It’s not that exciting, but I don’t sit home all the time.” He was still smiling.

  “So what does the older, less-wild version of Danny Black’s weekend entail?”

  He rubbed his hand down his face and whispered, “Apparently doing homework with a beautiful teacher.” He froze and I blushed. “I mean studying is what we’re doing. Um, yeah. The only other thing I might do is have the band over to work on stuff or screw around. Swim, watch movies...”

  I was watching him try to wiggle his way out of this one. “You’re really close with them?”

  He nodded. “We’ve been together for fourteen years. Been through a lot of shit together. They were there for me when...” He looked at me like he wasn’t sure how much he should say. “I shouldn’t be dumping all this on you.”

  “Danny, it’s ok. You can tell me. Just think of me as your teacher and guidance counselor wrapped up in one.”

  He laughed bashfully. “Yeah, but you don’t look like what I’d picture a guidance counselor would look like.”

  His face flushed again and I had to do something to break the tension. I pulled the hair band I usually kept on my wrist off and used it to wrap my hair up in a severe bun. I put on my reading glasses and tucked a pencil behind my ear. “Does this help?”

  He was staring at me, eyes wide. He swallowed once and then whispered, “Not really, no.” Then he laughed nervously and rubbed his hand over his newly shaved head. “They, uh, they were there for me during my divorce is what I was going to say.”

  “I’d venture a guess by the tone of the phone call earlier that things are a little tense between the two of you?”

  He sighed and whispered, “You could say that. It was an ugly divorce and it’s gotten worse lately because of Janey.”

  “I’m so sorry. Is Janey your daughter?’

  His face lit up. “Yeah, she’s a great kid. She is getting ready to start middle school, though. Ugh.”

  I laughed. “I’ve taught middle school kids through my program. They can be tough.”

  He took a drink of his water and said, “She’s the reason I’m doing this whole diploma thing. Brooke told her I didn’t have my diploma and she’s not let it go since.”

  It all made sense now. The urgency was about being a good role model for his daughter. How shitty of his ex to even bring it up!

  “She should have let you tell your daughter on your own terms. But I’m happy you are doing this and I think your daughter will admire you for it, too.”

  He looked down at his hands folded in his lap. “It’s funny, having money and success don’t mean shit when your kid looks at you like you’re nothing.”

  Whoa. His ex was really doing a number on him.

  “Unfortunately, your daughter is at the age where kids don’t think their parents know anything anyway, so I’m sure this just gave her more ammunition. Are you close with her?”

  His lip curled up on one side. “I thought we were but I don’t really understand what she’s going through right now and Brooke is always making excuses why I can’t see her. I miss her.” He took a deep breath and swallowed hard, rubbing his neck.

  “Too much whispering for you, Mr. Black. How about we choose some short stories for the next credit and I’ll read to you?”

  His face relaxed into a relieved smile and he nodded. He grabbed his ice water and motioned for me to follow him down the hall to the library. Since I’d worn flats today he was taller than me and I kind of liked it.

  I was too busy watching the way he moved in front of me so when he stopped suddenly and turned to face me we were inches apart. Danny smiled in surprise down at me, his eyes flared and he reached out to run his knuckles down my arm. I shivered and tried to make my feet take a step back. Instead, he took a step closer to me and brought the other hand up to grasp my arms. I was frozen in my spot and the way he was looking at me had me trembling. He moved even closer and started to whisper something when there was a loud pounding on the door. Startled, I stumbled and fell against his chest, his hands on my arms the only thing saving us from landing in a heap on the floor. My face was on fire with embarrassment. He just gave that boyish smile, held up one finger and stepped around me.

  “I’ll just look for that story,” I said, lamely, as he walked away. I hurried into the library and tried to catch my breath. How embarrassing! He probably thought I was throwing myself at him. I knew working in someone’s house might not be a good idea. I just didn’t know this would be the reason. I was pacing and shaking out my hands when I heard several voices coming down the hall, laughing loudly. I turned towards the bookshelves, scanning for something we could read that would completely squash any weirdness. I was pulling down a collection of stories by Kurt Vonnegut when they entered the room.

  I turned and tried to smile professionally at the three men who had entered behind Danny. The rest of Blackened. They stood looking at me funny and I remembered I still had my hair up in my attempt at looking more like a school counselor.

  Someone cleared their throat. “Well, since Danny can’t introduce us, I’m Julian, this is my brother Bronson, and that guy is Alex. You must be the teacher.”

  I got a hold of myself, smiled, and walked around the desk to shake hands with them. “Jesse Martin. Nice to meet you.”

  They all smiled appreciatively, only slightly giving me a lecherous once over. Danny, however, looked irritated. He put his hands on his hips and whispered, “They get to call you Jesse?”

  I raised an eyebrow at him and tried to ignore the snickers. “You shouldn’t be calling me anything. Where’s your notepad?”

  He blushed and got a sly smile on his face. He had me figured out, alright. He stepped out of the library, leaving me with his very curious bandmates.

  “So how are the lessons going,” asked Bronson.

  I tried to ignore the lump in my throat, tried to sound authoritative. “You need to ask Danny that. I’m not sure I should be sharing his progress with anyone who isn’t authorized.”

  The other guys laughed at him and he smiled thinly. He narrowed his eyes at me and cocked a hip to the side. “Oh, I think I’m authorized, Jesse. I can still kick his ass. I should be able to get a progress report.”

  I gave him a once over and thought he probably couldn’t take Danny. The tallest one of the group, Bronson was a few inches taller than Danny's 6'1" but much more lanky. He had extremely broad shoulders and in his fitted black t-shirt, black leather studded belt, worn Levi’s and black cowboy boots, he certainly looked intimidating. He had lon
gish black hair, had spent a little too much time in the sun, judging by the damage to his skin, and had dark blue eyes. His brother Julian was shorter with longer, lighter hair, the same dark blue eyes, and a similar wardrobe. Alex was blonde, the shortest of the group, with hair sticking up all over and a long goatee. He was wearing a Spongebob t-shirt, black jeans and Vans. He had a much lighter disposition about him and wasn’t trying to be intimidating. You wouldn’t peg him immediately as a rock star, but with the Manning brothers you couldn’t miss it. They oozed that otherworldly presence that some celebrities did here in Hollywood. They were glamorous and had a ‘don’t fuck with me’ look on all the time, unless they were charming the panties off of eager fans. Then the ‘come hither’ look took over and from what I’d heard, not many women were immune.

  Yeah. All the oxygen seemed to be sucked out of the room. I was desperately hoping Danny would return. He intimidated me enough. I didn’t think I could use my teacher look with these guys and get away with it. They would probably see right through me and that would do damage to my fragile ego.

  “Are you guys still studying or can we borrow Danny,” asked Alex.

  “He got a lot done today. He can quit if he wants.”

  Danny returned just then and elbowed Alex, shaking his head. He was scribbling on his tablet as he walked to me, his tongue touching the corner of his top lip to help him concentrate. I was in deep trouble here and it just kept getting deeper.

  He handed me his notepad and I smiled when I saw what he’d written. “Yes, you can have recess, Danny. If you want." Then I added quietly, "I can just come back tomorrow.”

  He shook his head vigorously. He held up ten fingers and then flashed them a second time.

  “Twenty minutes?” He nodded. He was so damn adorable. “You sure you don’t just want to stop for the night? You got a lot done.”

  Julian laughed. “That’s my kind of teacher. Dude, she’s telling you to take a break. You should listen, bro. We need to get out there.”

  Danny flipped him off, his eyes still on mine. He shook his head again and started to scribble. This is most important right now.

  I smiled at him and nodded. “Ok. Twenty minutes and then he’s got to get back to work, boys. Danny, I’m just going to pull those stories, ok?”

  He nodded and smiled thankfully at me. I knew he was using me to get out of doing whatever the guys wanted him to do and that made me laugh to myself. I continued browsing the bookshelves and found a copy of James Hurst’s stories. I scanned the contents to see if The Scarlet Ibis was included. I started a stack on the desk and tried not to eavesdrop.

  “We’ve got studio time booked this week, starting Wednesday, from 2 ‘til 10 and...”

  I heard Danny whisper harshly and then he was scribbling.

  Bronson continued, “No, we can’t go in earlier! I’m not getting up at the crack of fucking dawn.” He paused for a moment to let Danny write, I guessed. “So what? You can meet her later.” I heard a thud and looked over to see Danny had slammed his notebook down on the table and was up in Bronson’s face.

  “I told you,” he was whispering, “I am doing this. I can't meet with you guys in the studio when I am working with my teacher. I’m not even any use to you until the doctor clears me to sing. I’m fucking writing shit right now, alright? We’ll have plenty of material after I’m better. Can’t you just give me some fucking time here?” I turned to watch and Bronson had his hands up.

  “Of course, Danny. I know you need to rest. I just thought...”

  Danny shook his head and whispered, “I’m fucking sorry my surgery puts a cramp in your goddamn schedule.”

  Bronson stared at Danny like he'd just told him the earth was flat. Julian stepped up and grabbed Bronson by the arm, pulling him out of the room. Alex grabbed Danny by the shoulders.

  “It’s ok, man. We just wanted to offer it to you. I know you were worried about getting behind. I’m actually really glad you’re doing this for yourself. Take all the time you need. We’re not going anywhere, alright? I love you man. Just take care of yourself.” He gave Danny a bro hug. Julian came back in and whispered something to Danny. They hugged and then they were gone.

  Danny took a huge breath and let it out slowly, shakily. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. I guessed this was his reality. Being laid up meant that others who were depending on you had to be patient. I was quickly learning that Danny did not like to disappoint others.

  I walked around to him and touched him gently on the arm. “You ok, Danny?”

  He blinked back the wetness in his eyes and his look of determination was back. He nodded and gave me a weak smile.

  “I found a couple of stories for us to read. You still up for it?”

  He nodded and turned to look at the fireplace in the corner. There was a large leather couch and a sheepskin rug in front of it. Perfection. If I had a library I’d have picked the same set up. He must have seen me looking longingly at the couch so he gently grasped my arm and led me around the desk, picking up the books I’d piled there and then led me over to the couch. I sat down as he turned on the gas fire and the room was illuminated with the flames. He turned on a lamp behind me and came around the other side. I was sitting at the end of the couch. He sat one cushion away from me, grabbed a pillow, and proceeded to lie down with his head next to me and his feet up on the arm.

  I laughed. “Comfy,” I asked, teasingly.

  He nodded and closed his eyes. “Will you read to me,” he asked in a pained whisper. It was obvious that his throat was really bothering him. He opened one eye, “It relaxes me, listening to you.”

  I smiled down at him and nodded. The urge to run my fingers over his scalp was overwhelming, so much so I had to catch myself. What the hell was wrong with me?

  I opened the first book I’d picked, gripping it with both hands, and read him the story Harrison Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut. Throughout the story the frown on his face got deeper and deeper until I finally had to stop.

  “Danny. If you keep frowning like that you’re going to have a permanent crease here.” I tried to smooth it out with my fingers and felt a jolt run through me. I knew better than to touch him, but he just laughed, closing his eyes again.

  “I can’t help it,” he whispered. “These people are crazy.” He made such astute observations.

  “That’s often the point with Vonnegut.”

  When I finished reading, he sat there quietly for a long time. I almost thought he was asleep, but then he frowned again and whispered, “We may not make people wear handicaps, but we certainly pile crap on them and expect them to proceed with their lives. It seems like some people always carry more weight than others.”

  I slid down a little on the couch feeling tired all of a sudden. “That’s very true. We kind of persecute the gifted, too, in a way.”

  He nodded. “That was pretty awful that they didn’t even remember what happened to their son.” He shook his head. “Wow,” he whispered with a laugh, “you really picked a downer of a story.”

  I laughed and nudged his head. He was laughing, too.

  “Hey! It’s a great story! If you thought that one was a downer, maybe I should choose a different story for the next one. The other one I grabbed is even more of a downer.”

  He sat up quickly and leaned toward me with a gleam in his eye.

  “Or maybe we should go make our hot fudge sundaes!” He jumped off the couch, took the books off my lap and pulled me up roughly. I stumbled a little, stifling a gasp at the sudden pain in my lower back. I didn’t hide my wince, though, and Danny grew concerned.

  “What’s wrong,” he whispered. “And don’t tell me you were just sitting still too long.” He frowned down at me and again we were standing way too close. I tried to pull away from him, but he held onto my arms. “What’s wrong," he pleaded with me.

  I looked away from him. I really didn’t want to discuss this, didn’t want to appear weak or that I couldn’t do
my job. “It’s nothing. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. My joints get unhappy sometimes, ok? No big deal.”

  This time I did pull away and smoothed down my skirt. I avoided looking at him as I turned around to put the Vonnegut book back. Danny took it out of my hand and put it back where it belonged on the shelf. He walked with a purpose back over to me.

  With one finger he lifted my chin to look at him.

  “Danny, please. Don’t. I’m fine.” I tried to smile, hoping to get out of this moment. “Let’s go get you your ice cream.”

  I turned from him and walked to the door, hoping I wasn’t moving too stiffly. My hips and lower back were screaming at me tonight. Usually RA just affects the smaller joints, but I'd also done damage to both knees, both hips and my lower back from dancing. I just learned to live with it.

  We got to the kitchen and saw that Nora had already put out bowls, spoons and toppings. Danny pulled out the ice cream and whipped cream and started scooping heaping amounts of vanilla ice cream into the bowls.

  “Whoa! That’s way too much for me.” I laughed and he looked up at me, mimicking my teacher look.

  He drowned both of our bowls in the hot fudge he’d heated in the microwave and piled them tall with whipped cream. He even dropped a maraschino cherry onto each one. He held up a spoon and I took it. He clinked my spoon with his and whispered, “Here’s to having finished one class out of... How many more?”

  I took a bite, moaning with delight as the vanilla and chocolate hit my tongue and took over my senses. Danny chuckled, shoveled a huge bite into his mouth and his face probably mirrored my expression. A gooey chocolate glob escaped his next bite and dripped down the front of his white t-shirt.

  “Wow,” I laughed, “That could almost be an abstract work of art. Look at the design it made!”

  He looked down at his shirt and pouted! I couldn’t help but laugh, he looked so damn cute. He shrugged and pulled the shirt off over the back of his head and continued eating his ice cream with a grin.

  I shook my head. “You’re breaking the dress code again, Mr. Black.”