Teacher

by R. L. Merrill

  “Is this what you meant by arguing with your teachers?” He looked at me, confused. “You said all your social studies teachers didn’t like you arguing with them. Is this the kind of thing you’d argue about?” He nodded. He wrote on his notepad, “Not my fault books suck.”

  I laughed out loud. “Well, there’s always room for interpretation.” We continued like that, but then he complained there wasn’t enough information about his Irish ancestors who’d done a lot of the work building up New York and the railroads and not nearly enough about the Native Americans.

  “Why isn’t there a whole course about them,” he asked in a pained whisper. He was pushing himself and I wanted him to rest.

  “I agree with you, there should be more, but the state has deemed that this is the most important information for high school students to learn. Perhaps when you pursue your college degree next you can focus on Native American studies.”

  He looked sharply at me, obviously confused by my comment.

  “What? College?” He nodded. “Why not, Danny? You are an extremely intelligent man. Perhaps someday when this rock star gig gets old or you start having to wear Depends on tour you can go to college to start your second career.” He threw a piece of ice at me and pegged me in the shoulder.

  “Oh! Mr. Black! Did you just throw a piece of ice at your teacher!?” My mock indignation did nothing to dissuade him as he lobbed another one.

  “Oh, that’s it.” I grabbed a handful of ice from my glass and before he could move, I deposited the ice in the back of his shirt. He shot up so quickly, that his notebook went flying. He started frantically shaking ice cubes out of his pant legs. I was holding my stomach to ease the pain from the laughter wracking my body and he just looked stunned that I would do such a thing.

  When all the ice was out he stood with his hands on his hips. “Are you kidding me,” he whispered. “Do you do this to all of your students?”

  I laughed harder. “No,” I choked out. “Only the ones who are brave enough to start things with me and I’m usually much sneakier when I get them back,” I added and took a sip of my tea to try to get the laughter under control.

  He just shook his head and sat back down, leaving plenty of room between us this time. We worked for the rest of the afternoon on the history and around 5:00 his stomach started growling. He tried to ignore it, but it was getting ridiculously loud.

  “Danny? How about we take a break for dinner?”

  He held up a finger and continued working. His stomach let out another loud plea for sustenance and I laughed.

  “I’ll go heat up the food Nora left while you finish your test, ok?”

  He gave me an appreciative smile over his computer and nodded. I stood and walked to the kitchen, grateful for my loose dress, as the temperature up here on the hill was even more intense than I thought it would be.

  I poured myself a glass of ice water and drank half of it before opening the fridge and finding chicken and mashed potatoes pre-cooked and in single serving containers. I popped one in the microwave and then the other. Danny came in then and I handed him one of the plates. We ate at the counter in mostly silence. It was oppressive.

  “You know, it’s really quiet at your house. It surprises me.”

  He got up to turn on some music. He sat back down and smiled. “Better,” he whispered.

  “Do you prefer the quiet?”

  He shook his head. “I used to never like it. Now I get lost in it sometimes and forget to do something about it.”

  I looked at him closely. “Is that lost in a good way?”

  He turned to regard me and his smile was sad. “Not really.”

  We each took a few bites and I began to appreciate why the guys would mooch meals off Nora. She really was a talented cook.

  “Your daughter is beautiful. She looks just like you, but her hair is darker.”

  He smiled proudly. “She is gorgeous. Another reason I’m not excited about middle school,” he whispered.

  I knew exactly what he meant. “Where does she go to school,” I asked. He finished swallowing a bite with a wince and took a drink of water. “I’m sorry. Here I am telling you not to talk and I keep asking you questions.”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I think it’s too soon for chicken. She goes to a private school in Beverly Hills near where she and Brooke live.”

  Yikes. “That’s got to be pricey. I’m guessing you are footing the bill?”

  He shrugged. “ I want her here, but I want the best for her. ” He seemed so sad.

  “What does your custody agreement say?”

  He finished his potatoes and sat back, the look on his face had me thinking he wasn’t satisfied with dinner. I stood to check the fridge for something he could eat. I pulled out a bowl of Jell-O and he smiled appreciatively. I spooned some into a smaller bowl and brought it around to him.

  “Thank you. For everything.”

  I just smiled at him and watched as he carried a jiggly bit of green Jell-O and slurped it into his mouth. I couldn’t help giggling and he looked at me with mischief on his face.

  “Want some?”

  I shook my head. “Too wiggly for me,” I teased. This just made him move closer with his spoon.

  “Watch it wiggle,” he whisper-sang the Jell-O jingle and I leaned back in my chair shaking my head.

  “No, you eat it!” I was leaning so far back I was about to topple out of the chair when he finally slurped it into his own mouth with a smile.

  I made quick work of cleaning up our mess while he ate, watching me curiously.

  “I’m supposed to have her every other weekend and one night a week, but it doesn’t end up that way. After I get my diploma I’m going to fight for at least 50/50 or more.”

  I looked up at him, surprised. “That’s a big step. What do you think Brooke will say?”

  He shrugged. “I really don’t care. She’s not doing her job and is spending increasing amounts of time auditioning. I think she wants to get back to work and is treating Janey like she’s a burden. Janey’s picked up on it.”

  “How sad,” I said, growing more irritated with the woman.

  “Janey probably thinks it’s her, but really, it’s her mom’s need for the spotlight. I’m not saying Brooke doesn’t love her, but she’s always been self-centered and having an almost teenaged daughter in this town is a bit of a threat when you were the hot young actress once.”

  I was once again amazed by the thoughtfulness Danny showed when he spoke. He was a lot deeper than you’d think.

  “I can imagine. Does Janey want to be an actress?”

  He shook his head and looked relieved. “Not at all. She loves animals, wants to be a vet. She’s got a horse at a ranch not far from here. I take her when I have time or Brooke or her nanny take her.”

  A nanny, too? Man, Danny was sure keeping his ex up well. I would imagine thinking of his financial obligations has him concerned about his voice as well.

  “Hey, when do you go back to the doctor?”

  He stood from the stool and stretched. “I need to go tomorrow. I don’t think I’m feeling as good as I should be.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m not surprised. And it’s partly my fault for talking to you. I need to be more disciplined.”

  He walked around to me and shook his head, putting his hands on my arms again. “No, I like talking to you, Jesse. Don’t stop talking to me.”

  He really needed to not be this close to me right now, but I couldn’t make my mouth say the words. I smiled up at him. “I like talking to you, too. But you really need to rest.”

  He slid his hands slowly down my arms and around my lower back, all the while looking into my eyes like he was trying to solve a mystery and the clues in front of him didn't add up. I brought my hands up to his chest with every intention of pushing him away. Instead, we stood there lost in each other. His breathing was shallow and I could feel his heart beating under my hands. When he leaned closer, h
is lips just milliseconds from touching mine, I finally snapped out of it and shook my head.

  “Danny,” I whispered on an exhale of breath. “Danny, I can’t. We can’t. Good behavior, remember?”

  He tugged my hips closer to him and squeezed, closing his eyes. He nodded and then dropped his head back and blew out a breath. This close to him, I wanted to grab him by the neck and bring those lips back in kissing range, but I knew I couldn’t do that.

  “It would jeopardize you getting your diploma, Danny, if the district thought you didn’t, ah, earn it? And you are my student, even if you’re older than me. I would hate to be the subject of a Lifetime movie about teachers abusing students.”

  He looked down at me with such a perfect smile. I couldn’t believe how much this sucked. I finally found someone interesting and he's forbidden!

  “How old do you think I am,” he whispered. “I thought I still looked pretty good, but you keep reminding me how OLD I am.”

  I giggled and his hands loosened a little, but he still held me close to him. “I don’t know? You do have an almost teenaged daughter. Are you, like, forty-five or something?” His eyes bugged out and I lost it. I was totally exaggerating.

  “Forty-FIVE! Jesus! I need to get back to the gym, put on some sunscreen and shit.”

  I laughed harder and he squeezed again before letting me go. Immediately I hated the coolness from the air conditioning that replaced the heat of his body. I tried not to pout, though. I had to keep putting on those brakes or I was going to screw things up and I didn’t think I could count on him to do it.

  “I’m only thirty-six, Ms. Martin. Am I really an old man already?”

  I shook my head and smiled at him. “I never said you were an old man... Only hinted that you were closer to being older than me.”

  He was drying his hands on a towel, which he promptly pulled from the rack and attempted to snap me with. I moved quickly around to the other side of the counter. “Hey! No more teacher abuse! I warned you!”

  “Ok then, whippersnapper. How old are you?”

  I smirked. “I’m twenty-six. I’ll be twenty seven this fall.”

  His eyes flared. Then he frowned. “You’re a baby! Why aren’t you still dancing? I figured you must have been a dancer if you work at a studio. You’ve certainly got the body for it,” he whispered, his eyes travelling over me. But the mood was gone. I smoothed back my hair and walked to the doors, needing some air all of a sudden.

  “I think we should get back to work or end for the night.” I walked out to the patio, which was too dark to work on, and started packing up my things. Danny was at my side in a second.

  “I’m sorry, Jesse. What did I say?”

  I shook my head and pressed my lips together. “Nothing. But either we are going to do some more work or I’m going home.” I turned to face him, hoping the look on my face meant business and didn’t show how close to cracking I was.

  “Ok. I’m sorry,” he whispered, that disgusted look back on his face.

  I figured out in that moment that his look meant he was angry with himself, not disgusted with me as I’d previously thought. It wasn’t his fault he touched a nerve.

  “It’s fine. Sore subject is all. How about we go inside and I can go over your Creative Writing? I can let you get started on the next credit, which involves writing your own short story. Then I can give you the assignment for Fahrenheit 451. You’ll need to write an essay. Do you remember how to do that?” He shrugged. “It’s ok, I’ll leave you an outline format. As for History, why don’t you just try to get through the rest of the semester one units and mastery tests and you can take the unit tests and final on Wednesday?”

  He nodded, his face looking sad.

  We went back inside and sat at the bar. I laid out all of his work and by this time it was close to 9:00.

  “You need to get home,” he whispered to me.

  I looked at the clock and nodded. “Ok. Here’s my number and my email. Since you can’t really talk, you can email me and I’ll answer right away. I keep it up all day and I’ll check it when I get home from the studio tomorrow night. Wednesday I can be here by 4, depending on traffic. Is that ok?”

  He nodded and gave me a half smile.

  “You’ll be fine. I’ll see you Wednesday, ok?”

  He nodded, but wasn’t looking at me. I gathered up my things and he followed me to the door. “Thank you, Ms. Martin. Good night.”

  I turned and gave him a smile, but he was still looking away. Not exactly how I wanted the night to end, but I guess it was for the best.

  The Pinto started up right away, but when I got down the hill from Danny’s, the engine knocked loudly, the car backfired, sent up a plume of smoke, and died. I coasted through the intersection and, thankfully, into a gas station parking lot. I banged my fist against the steering wheel and realized that my relationship with the Pinto was officially over. I took a moment to say good-bye and was just about to pull out my phone and pray that Cosmo was sober enough to pick me up when there was a knock on my window. I squealed and my phone went flying out of my hands. When I saw it was Danny I breathed a sigh of relief, and then felt crushed. I so did not believe this was happening.

  I opened the door and got out. Danny was standing with his arms crossed over his chest. “How did you...”

  He interrupted me, whispering harshly. “Nora texted me earlier and told me what a piece of shit you were driving. I followed you to make sure you were ok. Good thing I did. How could you be so careless with your safety? Why aren’t you driving something more reliable?”

  My eyes filled with tears, but I was shaking with anger. “How dare you! It’s none of your business what I do with my life.”

  He stepped closer and got in my face. “It is, too, my business! You work for me.”

  I stepped back and found myself pressed up against my now-deceased vehicle. “I work for the school district, Danny! Not you. And I’ve been saving to buy a new car, alright? So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to call for a ride.”

  I started to open the door, but he grasped my arm and pulled me around to face him.

  “I’m taking you home. Grab what you need,” he whispered.

  When he saw the fear on my face, he had the disgusted expression again. I tried to blink back the tears in my eyes. I yanked my arm away from him and gave him a hard look. “Thanks, but I’ll call for a ride.”

  He shook his head. “I’m right here, Jesse. Let me take you home.”

  I shook my head, my humiliation almost complete. I brought my hands up to my face and wiped at my tears angrily.

  “Why not? What’s wrong?”

  I looked up at him and groaned. “Because I don’t want you to see where I live, ok? This is mortifying enough, you finding me with my dead car.”

  He walked around the other side of the Pinto and opened the door. He grabbed my purse and my bag and slammed the door. He came back around to me and gently took my hand. When I didn’t move he gave a little tug and I realized I was being stupid. I took my purse from him and held up a finger. I opened the car door, grabbed my phone that I’d dropped on the floor, and I locked the doors, manually. I hurried back to his side and saw that he was driving a black Range Rover. He walked around to the passenger side and opened the door for me. He helped me in and placed my bag at my feet. When he was sure I was settled, he closed the door gently and then stood outside to send a text before climbing into the driver’s side.

  “I'll call for a tow truck to take your car to my mechanic. If he can’t save it, maybe he can find a classic car buyer who will want it... for parts.” He was trying not to laugh and I shook my head, suddenly feeling better.

  “Thank you. I’m sorry I-”

  He shook his head and put his hand on my thigh. “Don’t. Where do you live?”

  I sighed and looked out the window.

  “If you don’t tell me I’m taking you back to my house and you’ll stay with me.”

  I jerked aroun
d and looked at him wide-eyed. The dangerous smile on his face had me thinking that’s exactly what he wanted to do. I shook my head.

  “Just point the car in the direction of the seediest part of town and you’ll find it.” I gave him my address and he plugged it into the car’s GPS. When it spit out the directions he glared at me and the whisper-scolding raised up a notch.

  “Are you fucking serious, Jesse? I used to live in the place across the street!”

  I laughed. “Really? That place is a dump.”

  He didn’t laugh. “What the fuck are you doing living there?”

  I shrugged. “Teacher, remember? Noble profession, shitty paycheck.”

  He shook his head, sent another text, and put the car in gear. We drove in silence to my place and I prayed that the guys wouldn’t be totally out of control when we got there.

  Twenty minutes later we pulled up out front and I made to jump out of the car, but he turned the engine off and got out. Shit. When he got around to my side, I told him, “Don’t walk me up. I’m fine, ok? My neighbors are pretty rowdy and they’ll definitely recognize you. I don’t want to-”

  He grabbed me by the arm and started walking toward my stairs. The shouts and laughter echoing throughout the complex confirmed my worst fear.

  Danny paused at the bottom of the steps and looked at me with alarm. I shrugged. “C’mon,” I said with a sigh. “You asked for it. It’ll take you back to the good old days, right?”

  He rolled his eyes and gestured for me to go first, his hand on my lower back comforting me.

  “Hey, Jesse Baby! We’re roasting marsh- Are you fucking kidding me? Danny fucking Black?” Cosmo did not sound happy. He and the guys plus several girls were huddled around a mini BBQ with long sticks. It appeared they were mostly burning the marshmallows to watch them ooze.

  “Hey Cosmo. Yes, this is Danny. Danny, this is my neighbor Cosmo Grammatica.” The two of them shook hands, eyeing each other. Jinx and Johnny stepped out also and introduced themselves. Unlike Cosmo, they were gushing all over him.

  “Dude! You guys fucking rock! I saw you play at the Bowl years ago. You’re the reason I started playing guitar!”