Teacher

by R. L. Merrill

  I peeked at him in the rearview as I pulled away and saw him tugging on his lip. I knew he was nervous.

  I drove to Cedars Sinai and we pulled up to the emergency entrance. Danny carried Jane inside, who was still giggling, and I followed behind. He got her settled into a seat and I said, “Danny, why don’t I get her checked in since you can’t talk?"

  He handed me her insurance card from his wallet, making sure to touch my hand in the exchange to convey his thanks. I explained to the nurse why I was giving her the information rather than her father and she looked around me to see who I was pointing to. Instantly she recognized him and was much more cooperative. I guess his being famous helped with some things.

  Danny took my hand when they wheeled her back in a chair and tugged me forward to come with.

  “I need you,” he whispered and I looked up at him.

  “Anything.” I wished I could take all the worry away from him. He was a nervous wreck. “She’s going to be fine, ok?”

  He nodded, but was still pulling at his lip. He was not happy when the nurses whipped out the scissors to cut her pants and boot off, nor when they asked him to step out while they got her dressed in a hospital gown. He was starting to pace and get more agitated. I tugged on his hand.

  “Danny, I’m not going to tell you to calm down. I know that’s your little girl in there, but if you go in there in this shape, you’re likely to scare her and the doctor may not let you stay.”

  His eyes flashed with anger, but it was gone just as quickly. He nodded and took a couple of deep breaths.

  The doctor introduced himself to us as Dr. Kaur when he came over to examine her. Danny followed him into the room, tugging me along with him. I tried to stay out of the way as we were in a small space.

  “Well, Miss Black, what happened today?”

  Jane explained to him that something spooked her horse and that she’d fallen off the side. “I got the wind knocked out of me and may have bumped my head, but the only thing that really hurts is my ankle. My boot was caught in the stirrup when I started to slide.”

  The doctor did the penlight thing and said it didn’t appear she had a concussion and after examining her back, arms and torso, he moved down to her legs. He checked the left one first and she giggled nervously. Then he lifted the gown a bit to uncover the right side and I noticed two things at once: Jane’s expression of terror and the three fresh cuts on the inside of her thigh just above her knee. The doctor paused and then continued palpating her leg. When he got to her ankle she winced and cried out. He finished and patted her arm gently.

  “I’m going to order an x-ray on that ankle, Miss Black. Then we’ll see if we’re dealing with a break or sprain. Either way, I don’t think you’ll be back on that horse for the next couple of weeks at least.”

  She pouted at the doctor’s news. Danny walked over to kiss her forehead, whispering to her that she was lucky that’s all that happened. She shrugged and he kissed her on the cheek.

  “Mr. Black, may I speak with you for a minute.” Danny nodded and turned to me.

  “I’ll stay with Jane.”

  He mouthed ‘thank you’ and followed the doctor out. I turned and smiled at Jane. She looked worried.

  “You feeling ok?” I asked.

  She smiled nervously and said, “I don’t know. I think I’m about to be in trouble.”

  I frowned. “What do you mean?” She grimaced and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. “Jane? I know you just met me, but if you need to talk about anything, I am a teacher. I kind of talk to kids about stuff for a living.”

  She laughed. “Thanks, I just might have to take you up on that.”

  A minute later Danny came flying back in the exam room, his face white as a sheet. He put his hands on Jane’s face and whispered, “What’s the matter, Janey? Why would you hurt yourself like that?”

  Her eyes were wide and she was looking back and forth between us. Tears started to pool in her blue eyes and when they spilled over Danny pulled her into a hug and just held her.

  “Mr. Black, I’ll send the social worker to talk to you in a few minutes. Right now I need the nurse to take her for x-rays.”

  He nodded and kissed her once more and whispered, “I’ll be here, baby, and we’ll talk, ok? Whatever it is, I love you.”

  She said, “I love you too, Daddy. Please don’t be mad at me.”

  He took her face in his hands again and now he was crying too. “I’m not mad at you," he whispered. "Baby, why would you think I’d be mad at you? I love you!"

  She just cried against his shoulder and the doctor said, “I’ll give you two a minute.”

  I thanked him for Danny and followed him into the hall to give Danny and Jane some privacy.

  I introduced myself to the doctor. “I’m Jesse Martin, I’m a friend of Danny’s. I’m also a teacher.”

  The doctor shook my hand and said, “He’s going to need some help dealing with this, Ms. Martin.”

  I nodded. “Of course. I’ve had experience working with kids who cut. I will be there for both of them, however they need.”

  He smiled kindly at me. “Then they are lucky to have you. The nurse will be here shortly for those x-rays.”

  When I stepped back in, somehow Danny had Janey laughing, but his face was drawn tight. Too tight. The nurse came in then to take her for x-rays, so we stepped out into the hall.

  Danny stormed down the hall away from the patients and when we reached an empty waiting area, all of a sudden he kicked a chair across the room and slammed his fists against the wall. He rested his forehead against the wall and his face pulled into a pained expression. I hurried to his side and took him in my arms. He collapsed against me and we sat together, me holding him close while he shook with anger and fear.

  “My baby! How could I have not known?”

  I rubbed my hand over the back of his head and said in a low voice, “She knew where to cut herself where you wouldn’t see. The cuts looked fresh though, did you see any more scars on her?”

  He looked up at me, confused. “No,” he whispered, “But the doctor said we should see a therapist and see how long this has been going on, whether she’s done this before. Jesse, she’s just a little girl!”

  I nodded. “I know, Danny, but she’s going through puberty, which means all kinds of hormones and mood swings. If she’s been depressed or hurting, maybe this is the only way she knew how to deal with it.”

  He sat forward and put his head in his hands. I rubbed his back and stroked his head. Eventually I felt him breathing slower and when he looked up at me he seemed more ready to deal with this.

  “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been here. Thank you,” he whispered.

  I held his face in my hands as he’d just done with his daughter. “You don’t need to thank me. I’m glad I’m here, too, and I will be as long as you want me to be.”

  He took my hands in his. “You better be careful, Jesse, or I just might fall in love with you.”

  Startled, all I could do was smile at him, hoping he knew I felt the same. We held each other for a few minutes until I tapped out.

  “Danny, two things... One, Jane’s going to be back from x-rays soon so you need to get yourself together. Two, you need to let Brooke know what happened.” He winced. “I can call her, if you like. I know she’ll hate it, but she’ll hate getting a text from you just as much.”

  He nodded. “You’re so fucking amazing, you know that?”

  I smacked at his arm. “Janey said you need to quit cussing, now’s a good time to practice.”

  He gave me a heated look and I just smiled sweetly at him. He held out his phone. “You sure you want to talk to the dragon lady?”

  I snorted. “Please! I deal with angry parents for a living. It’ll be fine. You may have to deal with the aftermath, but I got this.”

  He kissed my cheek and mouthed ‘thank you’ before heading back in the direction of Jane’s room to wait for her. I
took a deep breath and dialed the dragon lady.

  “What is it, Danny?” She sounded annoyed so I just jumped right in.

  “Brooke, this is Jesse Martin, Danny’s teacher? I needed to call you to let you know that Jane is ok, but she had an incident at the ranch and she appears to have hurt her ankle. Danny and I-”

  “What? What the hell happened?” She was breathing heavily and I heard her cussing.

  “A loud noise spooked her horse and she slipped off the side. Her foot was caught in the stirrup so that may have caused the injury. She’s getting x-rays right now to determine whether it’s a break or a sprain.”

  She was quiet for a minute. “But she’s ok? Good. Ok. An ankle can be fixed. Phew. Ok.”

  I gave her a minute before I jumped in. “There’s one other thing. The doctor saw some cuts on her thigh that appear to be self-inflicted.” I waited for her to answer.

  “Oh God. She cut herself?” Her voice was very faint on the phone.

  “It seems that way. Danny is going to meet with a social worker to get a referral for a child psychologist, someone who specializes in this kind of treatment.” She was so quiet, I was expecting her to flip out and all I got was silence. “Brooke? Are you there?”

  “Yes. Thank you for calling me. Tell Danny I’ll see him tomorrow when he brings Jane home, unless he needs me sooner. Tell Jane I hope she feels better and I’ll see her tomorrow.” That was it? Her voice was really low and getting lower. “And thanks for calling me.” She disconnected.

  I shook myself. That was not at all what I was expecting. I had a sneaking suspicion her reaction was because she knew something was wrong and hadn’t told Danny. Well, they were going to have to sort that out.

  Chapter Twelve

  It turned out to be a sprained ankle, and after the doctor gave Danny instructions and fitted Jane with a brace, she was discharged. I didn’t go into detail with him about my conversation with Brooke. I figured I would save that for when we were back to his house. Danny texted Nora on the way to let her know what happened and she texted back that she’d be ready.

  I parked the car in the garage and Danny climbed out of the back seat and pulled Jane into his arms. She giggled the whole way into the house and then squealed when she saw Nora. The two of them got her settled outside on the patio near our study area so she could enjoy the sun. Nora said she’d stay with her while Danny got her stuff into the house. I followed him out to the car and took her things from the hospital while he gathered up her overnight bag. I followed him back into the house and down the hall to her room. It was the door just before the library. We set down her things and I took a minute to look around.

  Jane’s room was a girl's fantasy complete with canopy bed and horse motif. It was the first room in the house that looked like it had a real inhabitant, not just a realtor’s staged open house. Danny sat down on her bed and put his head in his hands. I walked over and knelt in front of him.

  “Hey, what’s going on in there Mr. Strong and Silent?”

  He chuckled. When he looked up, though, his expression was pained. He whispered, “What am I going to do, Jesse? How can I fix this?”

  I scooted closer to him and rested my hands on his knees. “You’re not going to fix this. You’re going to hold your daughter’s hand while she works out how to deal with this herself. You’re going to have to work with her mother to make things better for her and you’re going to let her know every day that you love her no matter what.” A tear ran down his face. “And you’re going to lean on me whenever you need. That’s what you’re going to do.”

  He nodded and pulled me to him. I raised up and scooted between his knees so I could get closer to him. He whispered against my ear, “If I’m going to lean on you that’s going to affect our rules.”

  I looked up into his dark eyes and swore I would do anything to ease the pain I saw there. “We’ll just have to work around that. Now, I’m going to leave before we lean too far. You take a minute if you need to. Just so you know, the way Brooke reacted? I think she knew something was up with Jane. Just a hunch. She said she would talk to you tomorrow when you brought Jane home. But may I offer a suggestion?” He nodded. “I think you might want to talk to her without Jane being there the first time. Maybe Nora and I could stay with Jane for a while tomorrow while you run over.”

  He pulled at his lip as he thought about that. “You’re probably right. Ok. I just need a minute and I’ll see you out there.”

  I stood up, grateful that my knees supported me. As I turned for the door, he whistled. I turned to look at him.

  “You’re a miracle, Jesse. I can’t thank you enough.”

  I shook my head. “There’s not a need for you to thank me. I’m right where I want to be.” His smile told me I’d said the right thing. I turned and left, stopping only in the kitchen to get a glass of water for Jane.

  When I stepped back out the two girls were catching up, and Nora was asking Jane all about the accident.

  “Yeah, I totally had the wind knocked out of me. I couldn’t even breathe for like over a minute and when I could, I felt this throbbing pain in my leg and I thought for sure it was broken.”

  I loved the drama only a 12 year old could infuse into a story like this.

  “Hey girls! Here's some water, Jane. Your dad will be out in a minute. Can I get you anything else?” She looked up at Nora and I swear to God she had the same ‘gimme’ smile her daddy did! Those genes were strong in her.

  “Can I please have one of your famous quesadillas? Please? No one makes them like you do, Nora.” She even batted her baby blues and Nora was done for.

  “Of course you can, baby girl. I’ll be right back with some. Jesse, can I get one for you, too? Never mind, I know you haven’t had lunch yet. Quesadillas coming up!”

  I thanked her and pulled up a seat next to Jane. She smiled at first, but then an inquisitive look came over her and I knew I was about to get the third degree.

  “So how long have you been a teacher,” she asked.

  “I’ve been teaching for five years now. I teach high school Independent Study.”

  She turned a little towards me. “Really? I had a friend who did that in middle school. She started modeling and had to leave school because she was working all over the world.”

  I smiled. “Yes, some of our students are there because they have careers, but most are there because they either just didn’t do well with a traditional school setting or because they suffer from depression and anxiety or other health issues.”

  "And where are you from?"

  I told her I grew up in the Bay Area near where her dad was from. She nodded and kept up the questions.

  "Are you married? Do you have kids? Do you have any pets? Do you live in Hollywood or Beverly Hills?"

  I answered no to the first three and then laughed. "I live on the other side of Hollywood, the one with 'character,'" I joked with finger quotes.

  She smiled faintly and then grew quiet. She looked out over the edge of the pool and her smile faded. “Jesse? Is my dad mad at me?”

  I scooted closer to her and took her hand. “No way, Jane. Your dad loves you so very much. If he’s mad about anything, he’s mad at himself for not knowing you were hurting. You must know your dad is all about fixing things.”

  She laughed. “Haven’t you only known him a couple of weeks?”

  “Yeah, you’re right. Guess he’s pretty easy to figure out after all.”

  “Yeah, especially when he gets all, ‘You’re not doing it and that’s it.”

  I couldn’t help joining her on that tangent. “You know he pulled that one on me last night!”

  We were cracking up when he walked out. He’d changed into a pair of swim trunks and a white t-shirt. He stopped in front of us with his hands on his hips and whispered, “I’m not sure getting you two together is such a good idea.”

  Jane and I looked at each other and tried to get serious.

  “We were just discussing you
r impeccable fathering skills.”

  He raised an eyebrow at me and I did my best to look innocent.

  Nora came out to save us then with a platter of quesadillas and fresh fruit.

  “Jesse, there’s a pitcher of lemonade on the counter with some glasses, can you grab them?”

  I jumped up and said, “Sure, need anything else?”

  She shook her head and got to work tending to Jane. It was obvious Jane was enjoying the attention and not even in a spoiled way. Danny pulled up a chair on the other side of her and they were laughing about something.

  Nora came back in and said, “How’s he doing?”

  I sighed. “Great for the bomb that just fell in his lap. Did he tell you?”

  She nodded. “Shit. That bitch. I was afraid Janey’s been getting down about herself. Brooke isn’t a nurturing kind of mom either. Well, it’s on us then, now isn’t it?”

  I smiled and nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Let’s get to work!”

  We ate lunch in the sun and talked and laughed. After lunch Danny offered to take Jane in the pool.

  “No swimming, but the cool water should be good on your ankle. I’ll carry you around.”

  She nodded, excited. Danny carried her into the house and Nora followed so she could help her get her bathing suit on. When they came back out, Danny had his shirt off and carried her into the shallow end of the pool.

  “Hey Jesse, I’m going to run down to the medical supply and pick up some crutches for her. I’ll be back in a bit. Will you grab them some towels? The linen closet is in Danny’s room.”

  I assured her I would and followed her into the house.

  “Thanks, I’ll be right back.”

  I waved at her and took a deep breath. Why was this a big deal for me to go into Danny’s bedroom? Maybe because it felt a little too much like making myself at home. The library was school-related. The bedroom was, well, too much Danny-related. This battle went on in my head the entire walk down the hall.

  I opened the door and there was another short hallway lined with closets. Good, the closet was right inside. I wouldn’t have to...