by E. L. Todd
He folded Kingston’s favorite blanket and placed it over the back of the couch. “I can tell Torpedo misses being the only baby in this family.” He opened the back door and let Torpedo inside. He immediately went down the hallway to bed, not bothering to wait for me because he was exhausted.
I chuckled. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”
Kyle stood there as he stared at me, his eyes glancing at my figure in my pajama shorts. He quickly looked away as if nothing had happened, as if he didn’t stare at me like that every single day. “It’s getting late. Goodnight.” He walked to the front door to let himself out.
I followed behind him, my loose t-shirt hiding the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra. Becoming a new mother was hard, especially when the father wasn’t around, but Kyle made this whole process a million times easier. I wasn’t stressed because I knew I could always rely on him to take care of Kingston and me. He was committed, loving, and more devoted than all the men in my life combined. “I don’t know how to thank you…for everything you’ve done for us.”
He dropped his hand from the door and looked at the floor.
“I was scared to do this alone, to juggle full-time work while being a new mom. It’s the most terrifying and also the most exhilarating thing I’d ever done, and you’ve made it a million times easier. There are no words, Kyle…” I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping my gratitude would be enough compensation.
“You don’t need to thank me, sweetheart.” He lifted his gaze and looked at me again. “I’ve enjoyed every single moment.” He gave me one final look before he turned away.
Impulsively, my hand reached for his forearm, and I steadied him on my side of the door.
He stilled at the touch and slowly turned back to me, his eyes guarded.
I moved into him, slowly inching closer as my heart pounded against my ribs. The adrenaline stretched all my veins until they almost exploded with every pump. My fingers relaxed on his arm when I knew he wasn’t going anywhere, and I raised my lips toward his.
His chin tilted down, his eyes on my mouth. Even if he knew what I was about to do, he was still restrained, holding himself back so he wouldn’t devour me.
My hand pressed against his chest for balance, and I rose onto my tiptoes. My lips slowly reached his, and when they came together, it was a soft embrace. My lips felt his, felt their softness, their masculine shape. My mouth opened slightly so I could feel his lip in between mine, feel his warm breath caress my skin. It was soft, intimate. I felt the passion between two lovers, felt my heart skip a beat. Kyle had been my friend for so long, but the hidden attraction was coming to the surface. I saw this man as a hero, as the man who had always taken care of me when everyone else disappeared.
I wanted to keep kissing him, but that seemed to be enough for the night. Any more would drag us into the bedroom, and that seemed premature given how delicate our relationship was. So, I settled for a kiss, a short kiss that was full of innocence but also desire. “Goodnight.” I slowly inched away, lowering myself back to the floor and pulling my palm away.
His eyes were hooded with desire, but he didn’t press me for more. He turned to the entryway and stepped outside. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” He walked to his truck, his wide shoulders a silhouette in the darkness.
Six
Charlotte
I reached for the ketchup and groaned when I felt the soreness in my arm.
Stacy watched me, her eyebrow raised. “I feel like you’re sore every time I see you.”
“Kyle does not go easy on me.”
“Ooh…” She winked. “Hot.”
“No, I mean at the gym.”
“Ooh…not so hot. But in his defense, he whipped your ass into shape. You don’t even look like you had a baby.”
I loved the compliments. It made the torture worth it. “Thanks.”
“How’s the sex with Kyle anyway?”
“Stacy…” I didn’t divulge any details about Neil, and I would do the same with Kyle…even though there were no details to give anyway.
“I tell you stuff about Vic all the time.”
“And I never ask.”
“Well, I have a pretty spectacular sex life. It should be known.”
I hadn’t had sex in so long, I was losing my mind. Vibrators were such a step down from the real thing, so I tried to avoid it. A real man was so much better, a big and strong man who crushed you into the mattress. I could have Kyle whenever I wanted him, but the most I could do was kiss him. Not because I wasn’t attracted to him, not because the sex wouldn’t be good…I just couldn’t. Not yet anyway.
“Where is Kyle?” she asked.
“He took Kingston to his mother’s.”
“How do they feel about you?”
“They’ve always liked me, but now they like me more because I’ve given them a grandchild.”
Stacy chuckled. “Yeah, that makes sense. So is Kyle going to move in?”
“We talked about it…”
“And?”
“I think so. Probably soon. We’re just taking our time with this relationship.”
“Taking your time?” she asked incredulously. “You already had a baby together.”
“My relationship with Kyle has been complicated since the beginning, and I just want to do it right. I don’t want to rush into a happily ever after until I’m ready. The only reason we got together was because Neil left. So I just… Kyle deserves better. He deserves us to move in together because we’re both ready.”
Stacy studied me for a while, ignoring everyone else in the bar as she focused on me. Several seconds passed, and she seemed to be thinking, seemed to be piecing stuff together. “You still have feelings for Neil.”
I stared at my glass of water and shrugged.
“I thought you were over him.”
“I am over him. It’s just…” I couldn’t tell her Kingston was his, so she would never understand.
“He’s been gone for almost a year and a half. Girl, forget about him.”
“I know.”
“You and Kyle make way more sense than you guys ever did anyway. Kyle is so in love with you. That guy would make a deal with the devil if it made you happy. You need to forget about Neil because he’s forgotten you. I hate to be cold, Char. But seriously…move on.”
This was all information that I already knew. There was no chance for Neil and me to get back together, and even if he were home, I wasn’t sure if I’d want to be with him anyway. It was just hard not to think about him when I looked into Kingston’s eyes. That baby would bind us together forever. Sometimes I still thought about coming clean with the truth, but I always changed my mind.
Stacy’s phone rang on the tabletop. Vic’s name was on the screen, so she declined it.
“You don’t have to ignore him.”
“We’re having a conversation right now. I’ll talk to him later.”
“Stacy, that man always takes your calls, no matter what. Don’t ignore your husband.”
He called again.
Stacy picked it up. “Hey, what’s up?”
Vic’s voice came over the line. “Come home. Bring Charlotte with you.”
“How did you know I was with her?”
“I didn’t. But I need you to hunt her down and bring her with you.”
Seven
Neil
Time had no meaning in space.
The sun rose and set like it did on Earth, but since we had so many tasks to complete, we took turns working, getting stuff done around the clock. I lay in my cot, my eyes closed even though I wasn’t sleeping.
Then the explosion happened.
It was so powerful, I was knocked out of bed and onto the floor. My head slammed against the metal edge of the desk and made me bleed instantly. Vertigo came over me, along with a head rush of confusion, and then the emergency sirens went off.
I didn’t have time to do anything except wipe the blood away. “What the hell was that?” I got myself togethe
r and made my way to the opposite side of the ship. “Jerry? Scott?” I sprinted to the cockpit, seeing the dials going haywire as the system tried to recalibrate itself.
Scott spoke to Hyde over the intercom. “Hyde, what’s going on out there?”
Hyde’s voice came in, jumbled with static. “I was doing my checks when one of the oxygen tanks exploded. Everyone alright?”
I spoke into the intercom, trying to contact the women. “Amelia? Do you read me?”
“I’m here, Neil. I’ve got Evelyn with me too. She’s alright. What’s going on?”
“Just get back to the ship,” I ordered.
“What’s going on? We heard an explosion—”
“Get back to the ship now.” I ignored their questions and turned back to Hyde. “The oxygen tank on the right posterior side is busted. Patch it up as soon as you can. The main system is intact, so we can keep recycling our air.” The oxygen tanks were there for emergencies, but it was still discouraging that we’d lost one. Now we couldn’t afford any other mistakes. “I’m sending Scott out there with you while I contact Houston.” They probably knew about the explosion the moment it happened. “Houston, we’ve had an incident with the rear of the ship. We aren’t sure what caused it, but we’re looking into it. The crew is safe, and there’ve been no injuries.”
I got no response.
Jerry looked at me, his eyes showing his fear.
I tried again. “Houston, do you read me?”
Silence.
As the commander, I had to keep my cool for everyone else. I had to stay calm, stay focused. But without communications with Houston, we were in serious shit. “The comms are down. Let’s figure out the problem and reestablish communications. Jerry, get started on that. I’ll help you.”
Amelia spoke over the intercom. “Our internal communications are still working. That means there must be a wiring issue in the rear of the craft. Since ours are located in the front, that isolates the problem.”
“Thanks, Amelia,” I said. “Let’s get to work. Houston must be panicking. Let’s not give them a reason to panic.”
Eight
Charlotte
The director of NASA greeted us in the conference room, but they wouldn’t give me entry. “She’s not cleared for this meeting.”
Vic was already losing his temper, so he exploded. “She’s family. She comes, or we all walk away.”
The director folded.
My pulse was uncontrollable, and my hands were shaking. Not once had we been called into NASA during Neil’s other missions. Whatever this was, it was bad, and if I lost Neil…I would lose myself.
His mother was already crying.
Vic blurted out his question before his ass touched his chair. “Is Neil alright? Tell me my brother is alright.”
The director was calm, taking a seat and brushing off the situation like it was no big deal. His detachment from Neil and the other crew members was shocking. “There’s been an incident.”
“Oh my god.” My hands immediately covered my mouth as I started to panic.
“Is my son alive?” his mother asked through her tears.
“We don’t know,” the director said calmly.
“You don’t know?” Vic asked incredulously. “What the hell does that mean? How do you not know?”
“There was an explosion in the rear of the ship. We only had a few seconds of data before everything went dark. It was their reserve oxygen tank. One of the astronauts was doing maintenance repairs on the ship. He must have cut the wrong line, and a little bit of hydrogen combined with the oxygen and caused the explosion. There’s enough fuel on that spacecraft to cause an explosion so large it would take out the entire ship. But it’s also possible it was a small explosion that only knocked out their radio comms. So, at this point, we don’t know what happened.”
I couldn’t control my breathing because I was panicking. Tears streaked down my cheeks, and I couldn’t stay calm. This was the worst thing that ever could have happened. Losing Neil was hard enough, but knowing he may never come home was too much to bear.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Vic was the only one who didn’t burst into tears. He was the only one who could stay calm enough to keep talking. “Neil and Hyde are the best engineers in the world. Could they repair the comms?”
“It’s possible,” the director responded. “That crew is full of exceptionally bright men and women. They’ve been trained to solve problems and survive under the worst conditions. I know this news is terrifying, but there’s still hope.”
“How long would it take them to establish communications again?” Vic asked.
The director shook his head. “I don’t know. But if they don’t get their systems up again, they have no way to return to Earth. Without their guidance system, they’d be relying on the sun and the stars…which is difficult over billions of miles. Being off course by a few degrees could put them millions of miles off course.”
Vic continued to keep his countenance calm while the rest of us sobbed. “Isn’t their pulse and breathing hooked up to something? Can’t you see if they’re still alive?”
“That system is gone too. Everything has done dark.” He folded his hands together on the table. “The fact that we can’t communicate with the ship at all is very concerning.”
“Then what do you think happened?” Vic asked. “You must have an idea.”
He stared at the table for a few seconds, gathering his bearings. “Based on everything that happened, I’d say, more than likely, the explosion was so large that it destroyed the ship and the entire crew inside. Our ships are built to withstand events like this, and we have ways to check on the status of the crew and the craft. The fact that we can’t access anything…is concerning.”
I covered my face because I couldn’t listen to this anymore. “No…”
“It’s not impossible that they’re alive, just without communications. And it’s not impossible that they might fix it. And it’s also not impossible that they could successfully fly home without it. But that would be very, very unlikely.”
Now Vic broke down, his eyes filling with tears.
The director dropped his gaze. “I’m sorry for your loss. Just know, Neil Crimson died doing what he loved most, and if he’d known this was going to happen…he would have done it anyway.”
Nine
Neil
Two weeks had come and gone, and we hadn’t fixed the problem.
“There’s too much damage.” Hyde sat in the chair and faced the rest of the group. “We would need to create an entire wiring infrastructure to repair it. The explosion must have melted the wires and disrupted the current. That heat transferred to the main box and destroyed the whole system.”
I leaned back in the chair, my shoulders sagging in defeat. Without any contact with Houston, they had no idea what happened to us. From their perspective, they probably thought we all died in an explosion that claimed the craft and the crew.
Imagining my family’s reaction nearly brought tears to my eyes.
Imagining Charlotte’s reaction made me want to sob.
I was still in charge of this mission, so I swallowed all that pain and tried not to think about it.
Not to think about my mother’s sorrow.
“What should we do?” Amelia asked. “Without information from Houston, we’re blind to the weather patterns. If a tornado hits, we’ll have no warning. Maybe we should head back to Earth now.”
“Without a guidance system?” Scott asked. “That’s absurd.”
“We know the planets and the stars,” Jerry said. “Between the six of us, we could figure it out.”
Based on my calculations of fuel storage, weight, and distance, it wouldn’t be possible. “No. Mars and Earth are the farthest apart in the cycle. We don’t have enough fuel to make it even halfway. We have to wait until the first potential return date. NASA only gave us enough fuel for that mileage.”
“Shit,” Hyde said. “Neil’s right.”
“Then what the hell are we going to do here?” Amelia asked.
“Continue the mission,” Neil said. “We have a lot of work to do.”
“Without Houston?” Jerry asked. “What about the weather? We could be stuck in a tornado.”
“We don’t have any other choice,” I said calmly. “If we leave now, we’ll die in space. We have to stay here until the right moment.”
“But if we can’t get the systems up, everyone will think we’re dead,” Hyde said.
“If we leave now, we really will be dead,” Neil said. “NASA knows there’s a chance we’re still alive.”
“But they know there’s a greater chance that we’re dead,” Jerry said.
I knew Houston would have already told my family it was almost certainly true that I was dead, and then I started to hate myself for putting them through this. I never should have left Earth. I should have stayed with my family… I should have stayed with Charlotte. Even if I came back home alive, she would have moved on by then. Kyle probably would snatch her up, and I didn’t have a chance anyway. So much fucking regret. I’d sacrificed everything to be stuck on a planet millions of miles away. “We have enough resources to survive. We have enough fuel to get home. We just have to continue the mission as planned.”
“And how will we find our way back home?” Amelia asked. “Even if we put our heads together, figuring out exactly where we are will be impossible.”
“Not impossible,” I said. “I’ll figure it out.”