by Green, Maree
Aiden wore the same feelings in his expression. I could see he was torn. I thought about what Lillian said. How sometimes we had to make adult decisions – even when we weren’t ready to.
Mom cleared her throat. “We’ll let you know the second anything changes. We promise. Lillian’s organized with Sean to ring him the second there’s any change in Mia’s condition – good or bad.”
If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t trust they’d interrupt our recording to pass on the message, but I trusted Mr. Thomas. I gave Aiden a slight nod, letting him know I was on board. Lillian was right. I could channel these emotions into something fucking phenomenal.
Aiden inhaled then sighed. “Fine, but we start first thing, and we don’t stop until the album’s done. No fucking breaks.” The fact that Aiden swore in front of our moms without a trace of contriteness showed how strongly he felt about it.
I nodded. “I agree, but Mr. Thomas has to promise to give us any news he gets – even if he has to stop us in the middle of a recording. If he won’t agree to that, then the deal’s off.”
Aiden clenched his jaw, his eyes hardening. “Absolutely.”
Lillian expression grew a little more serious. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Chapter 44
Mia
The fogginess that had been looming inside my head was lifting. I no longer felt dazed, but I was still very, very confused.
I didn’t understand where I was.
The darkness was consuming. The silence, suffocating.
I vaguely remembered hearing music. Had I imagined it? No. I remembered it had made the darkness tolerable. I wished I could hear it again. It soothed me. Made the darkness seem not so frightening.
I didn’t want to be here anymore.
Chapter 45
Jace
My day started at five a.m. After grabbing a healthy breakfast and making a quick call to make sure Mia’s condition had remained stable overnight, I gathered my music and drove downtown to Leighton’s recording studio to meet the guys.
Aiden and I ran through the stipulations with Mr. Thomas before we started anything, making sure he understood what we expected when it came to Mia. We agreed if there was bad news, he’d stop the recording straight away, but if there was good news, he’d wait until the recording ended before letting us know. It seemed like a reasonable compromise in the end.
We started the session off with our usual jam to get us in the zone, but this time, all traces of humor were gone. We all knew we had a job to do, and it was a fucking big one at that.
In order to get as much of the album recorded in one day, the studio decided to use partitioning screens so we could record the music component all at once. As a garage band, it worked best for us to do it that way anyway, because we fed off one another’s intensity when we played.
Once we got into it, there was no stopping us. Aiden and I were like machines. The sound we created was unlike anything we’d ever done before. There was a power in it that I’d never heard. A slight desperation, an anguish that gave each song a deeper meaning than we ever thought could be possible. Matt and Dean soaked it up, and together, we amped it up to another fucking level.
I thought about Mia through every song. I saw her lying beneath me as we made love only a few days ago, I saw her tears when I’d told her I loved her, I saw her frightened face when I held her through her anxiety attack, I saw her crumpled body on the floor of the gym, and the blood that felt permanently stained on the walls of my memory, and I saw her fragile body, lying on the hospital bed, being kept alive by tubes and machines and wires.
After every song, I looked to Mr. Thomas, watching to see if he had any news. Each time I was met with the slight shake of his head, so I pushed forward, throwing myself into another song and another round of tormenting visions that now felt branded inside my head.
I didn’t need anyone to tell me we sounded good. I knew there wasn’t a time we’d played any fucking better. We hit each run through with perfection, and by the grin that was etched on the recording guys’ faces, I knew they thought so too.
It was somewhere just after lunch when we finished up. The relief was like a fifth person in the room. Its presence was rife.
“That was fucking phenomenal guys,” came Rick’s voice through the speakers. I looked at him through the glass, sitting behind the giant mixing board. “It’s going to be a little while until we’re ready to do the vocals. Why don’t you take an hour and grab something to eat.”
Dean put his guitar down and sat on the lounge along the wall. I slumped down on a stool.
Sitting there with the hardest part of our day behind us, I was suddenly hit with an urge to share. “Remember the song I wrote in Aspen?” I said quietly.
The guys all looked at me with confirmation.
“Play it with me?” I knew my voice sounded uncertain, and I was, but it felt right.
“Fuck yeah.” Matt grinned. He’d been itching to do this since he heard the first bar during the car ride back from Aspen. Aiden nodded and Dean put his guitar back on.
I pulled out the music sheets I’d stashed in my guitar case and passed them over. After a quick going over, we jumped back into place and got into it.
Knowing I didn’t have to share the lyrics just yet made it a little easier, so I just let go and felt the music. The guys kicked in at exactly the right moment and, considering we’d only played around with it once, they played it like they’d done it a million times before.
That was the thing that made us so good as a band. The way we worked together. We were so close, we were like brothers. It was as though we just knew what each other was thinking, and that seemed to cross over to our music.
Playing the song I’d written about the first month of my life with Mia was just the salve I needed. It soothed my soul and gave me the strength I needed to just keep going.
When I let the last chord ring out, I was met with three pairs of awe inspired eyes.
“Are the lyrics done?” Aiden asked, pulling no punches.
I nodded.
“Good.” Looking back to the control booth, he inclined his head to Rick. “You get that?”
I watched Rick nod, then his voice came through the speakers. “Sure did.”
Aiden met my gaze with an expression that told me there was no arguing allowed. “You can do the vocals when the rest are done.”
Drawing in a deep breath, I met his gaze head on and nodded. Yeah, I would. I was ready.
***
By five o’clock that afternoon, all our sound had been laid down. Getting the vocals down was a hard process. It was more tedious than the music, and we were all utterly exhausted, but it was done. I knew some parts would have to be re-recorded, but Dean and Matt could handle the majority of it without us.
Recording the lyrics for Avalanche was liberating to say the least. I did it in the booth on my own, keeping my eyes closed and focusing everything I had on the music playing in my ears.
It was the first time I’d sung lead in front of the guys, and it took a lot to open up and let my voice out to the extent needed to carry the song, but I knew how I needed it to sound and I pushed myself to achieve that.
When I was done, and I looked up beyond the glass to their watchful faces, I could tell they were surprised. Since we’d been doing the whole band thing, they’d only heard me sing back-up, or quiet acoustic songs when we’d been mucking around or trying out new material, but this song was personal, and I just didn’t want to share the words with anyone. I needed to be the one who sang it.
I’d just walked out of the sound booth when Mr. Thomas stepped in from the reception room. I immediately noticed the phone in his hand. His gaze found Aiden first, then swung to meet mine. “I have some good news.”
His words sent instant relief through my stumbling heart.
“All Mia’s tests from this afternoon have shown the swelling around her brain has gone. They’re about to take her off the meds and le
t her wake up when she’s ready.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled heavily. My body suddenly felt like it would crumble to a heap on the floor.
“The doctor said the chances of her waking up before morning were slim though, so he suggested waiting until then before going in.”
Yeah, there was no fucking way I was waiting until morning to see her. I needed to see her now. Heading back into the recording room, I started packing up my guitar.
I was going to sing her to me.
Chapter 46
Mia
I was drawn to the music like a moth to a flame. It was soft and comforting, and its sweet melody was like a breath of fresh air. Sometimes there was a voice that sang along with it. Sometimes it was just the music. I liked the voice. It made me feel warm and protected.
I listened to it intently, fighting the darkness so I could find it, but just when I thought I might get there, it disappeared.
I struggled, disorientated, suddenly frightened of being trapped in the darkness, but then I heard my mom’s voice and the relief I felt was almost overwhelming.
The first thing I noticed was the brightness. The instant I opened my eyes a crack, I had to close them again. The next was a dull ache through the top of my head. I groaned.
“Mia?”
Mom. Oh, thank god. I opened my eyes again, but it still hurt so I kept them closed. “Too bright,” I tried to say, but my voice only came out like a gravelly rasp. Shit, my throat hurt.
“Hang on, just let me get the lights…”
I heard Mom moving around the room, then I saw the lights go dark on the other side of my lids. Carefully, I opened my eyes and blinked.
“Is that better?” Mom asked.
I turned my head so I could see her. She looked tired. She had dark circles under her eyes and her brow was wrinkled with worry. Panic washed over me. What was wrong? Why was she so obviously distressed?
A persistent beeping noise caught my attention. It was getting faster and faster.
“Are you okay, baby? How are you feeling?”
What? How as I feeling? I didn’t understand. What was going on? Looking around the room, I suddenly became aware of my surroundings and the beeping grew faster again. Was this a hospital room?
I looked down at myself and saw tubes attached to my arms. My gaze shot up to Mom’s, alarmed. “What happened?”
Before she could answer, the door swung open and a nurse swept into the room. She smiled when she saw me. “It’s good to see you awake, Miss Campbell.”
Awake? What did she mean?
The door opened again and I saw a doctor walk in. “Miss Campbell.” He grabbed a chart from the end of the bed and plucked a pen from his coat pocket. “How are you feeling?”
“My throat hurts.”
He smiled warmly. “Yes. I’m sorry about that. You’ve had a tube down your throat, so that’s expected I’m afraid.”
A tube? What? I was beginning to get a little frightened. What the hell happened to me?
He must’ve seen the panic on my face because his expression turned slightly more serious. “Mia, my name’s Dr. Sanders. Do you remember what happened to you? Why you’re here?”
I shook my head, tears pricking my eyes.
That warm smile touched his lips again, easing my worry a little. “It’s okay. That’s quite normal. It’s just your brain’s way of protecting you. It’ll come back when you’re ready. All you need to know for now is that you fell and hit your head. You got quite a nasty cut on your forehead-” He reached out and touched my forehead with his fingers to show me where. “But you’re all patched up now and well on your way to recovery.”
I fell? When? How? Where? It felt weird not to know these things.
“Let’s check you over and see how everything’s going,” Dr. Sanders said cheerily, pulling out his stethoscope.
I nodded, too confused to answer properly.
He spent the next few minutes looking me over and jotting things down on the chart. When he was done, he smiled again, seeming happy with what he’d found.
“Mrs. Campbell, may I have a word with you outside?”
I threw Mom a sharp look, wondering why he wanted to speak to her without me hearing, but she just gave me a comforting smile and followed the doctor out the door.
She returned a few minutes later, a slightly drawn look to her face. It worried me. What was wrong? I waited for the nurse to leave, then I pounced. “How did I fall?”
“Just a little accident at school sweetheart. Don’t worry about it. Dr. Sanders said it’ll all come back to you when you’re ready.”
Stuff that. I wanted to know now. I didn’t see how it would hurt to tell me. “Well, I’m ready now, and I want to know.”
She blinked at the forcefulness of my tone and sighed. “Apparently there was a big fight at school. I think you must’ve had an anxiety attack and fainted. You hit your head on a bench when you fell.”
Holy shit.
Mom sighed. “Yeah, the last few days have been very long. I think I’ve grown a few more grey hairs since Monday.”
Wait. What? “Monday? What day is it now?”
A guilty expression crept over her face. Obviously she wasn’t supposed to have mentioned that. “It’s Thursday, baby. They had to put you asleep for a few days to help you recover.”
A few days…? I swallowed hard.
“Everyone’s been so worried. God, Aiden and Jace have been like a couple of caged tigers,” she said, staring down at the comforter on my bed.
I blinked. What? Jace? I could understand Aiden being distraught. God, I would be too if it were him, but Jace? That confused me.
“I should tell them you’re awake,” she continued.
I stayed silent. Mostly because I was so confused, but also because Mom often rambled when she was worried and I needed to know whatever she was going to spill.
“They’re both so stubborn. The doctor told them you wouldn’t wake up until today but they both still insisted on sleeping here last night…”
Jace slept at the hospital last night? Now, this was just getting weird.
“You know I had my doubts when you told me you were dating Jace, but…” she shook her head. “He’s been worried sick. I’ve never seen anyone look so haunted before.”
I couldn’t stop the sharp intake of breath at her words. What the hell was she talking about? I never told her I was going out with Jace.
Mom’s gaze snapped up to meet mine and her eyes narrowed in confusion. She studied me for a few seconds before a slight panic came into her eyes. “Mia?”
I just stared at her. I couldn’t speak. There was no way I was dating Jace. No way. I shook my head.
“Why would you say that? I’m not going out with Jace.”
Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.
“Mom?” My voice had a slight hysterical sound to it.
Her mouth opened and closed a couple more times before she tried to place a calming expression on her face. “Don’t worry about it for now, sweetie. We’ll talk about it later when you’re not so disorientated.”
Hell no. She couldn’t drop that kind of bomb on me and expect me to just smile and continue on. I needed answers. And now.
I shook my head and stared at her hard. “No. I want to know now. I won’t be able relax until I know what the hell’s going on.”
Mom eyed the machine that was emitting the beeping sound and I realized it was growing faster and faster. She bit her lip nervously. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, baby girl. It’s obviously upsetting you.”
“Are you serious? There’s no way known I’m going to be able to calm down until you explain to me why you’d think I was going out with Jace.”
She watched me for a while, indecision flickering in her eyes.
“It can’t be true, Mom. You know I’d never go out with Jace.”
“Okay, honey.”
Okay? No, it wasn’t okay. I
hated being placated. I raised my chin in defiance. “Tell me then. Did you ever see us together?”
She stared at me for a fraction then gave a slight nod.
I gasped. “What?” The word came out a squeak.
She sighed. “It doesn’t matter right now, okay? Just concentrate on getting better and we’ll work it out later. Dr. Sanders said your memory will come back, so don’t think about it.”
Don’t think about it? How could I not think about it? This was huge. I thought about all the attention Jace got at school. The huge crowds that hung around him and the guys at lunch time. Shit. The beeping of the machine started to get even faster. Mom gave it another worried glance.
She moved closer and put her hand on my cheek. “Mia. Look at me. It’s okay. Just breathe.”
I sucked in a deep breath and tried to blow it out slowly. Then I did it again. And again. Gradually, the beeping slowed. Mom smiled.
I shook my head. This was crazy. I felt like I’d woken in some space/time continuum or something.
“You really saw us together?”
She sighed. “Yeah, baby girl. I did.”
I swallowed hard. “How long have we been going out for?”
“You told me you’ve been serious for a couple of weeks.”
I stared at her for a long time, trying to get it all to make sense. I just couldn’t. It was just too far removed from what I knew to be true.
“When you saw us…” I started, not sure what I was asking. “I mean, you said I told you we were serious, so…how serious?”
Her gaze flickered with unease and she looked away nervously before meeting my gaze again. “You were pretty into each other.”
I narrowed my eyes at her and she looked away again. She was hiding something from me.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
She looked at me guiltily. “Nothing, baby.”
“Mom,” I barked. It made me feel bad, but I was getting pretty damned frustrated. “This is my life we’re talking about. I think I deserve to know. Please? Tell me.”