Home

by Lynn Rider

  I playfully groan at his definition with an eye roll.

  “It could also be that you want to lick that dick on the table. You get the idea. Feel free to borrow it and use it as you see fit.” He shrugs while I shake my head. “But seriously, Amber. Is everything okay?” His expression loses all traces of playfulness.

  “Yes, it’s just different.”

  “Good different or bad different?”

  “Good different… and sometimes not so good different.”

  “Rut-row,” he says, leaning in on his elbows over the counter. “What’s making it not so good?”

  “It’s not that it’s bad, but we seem to have this black cloud hovering over us that’s filled with mistakes and mistrust that’s just waiting to rain down on us.”

  “Sometimes our own insecurities dictate how we see an entire relationship. In actuality, it may be only your perception. You think he feels the same way?”

  “I don’t know… He treats me like a piece of glass. He’s always worried about how I’m feeling, and making sure I’m okay. I see the confident Austin when others are around, but when it’s just us, he’s different.”

  “So you’re upset because he’s nice to you?”

  “No, it’s just I’m not as fragile as he’s treating me. I’ve grown a lot too.”

  His face morphs into a devious smile as a thought takes root. I’ve seen this happen too many times and know it’s something mischievous. “He’s not satisfying you in the bedroom.” He smacks the palm of his hand on the stone countertop. “I’ve fucking heard it all now! He’s all show and no chica-chica, chow-wow to back it up.”

  “Really, Rob, you should have your head cleansed of all those made up words.” I laugh. “Austin is well equipped and knows exactly how to work that equipment,” I say with a devilish grin.

  “You little hussy!” he says, feigning disgust.

  The doorbell rings, interrupting our conversation. “You gonna get that?” Rob asks, pondering my hesitation.

  “It’s not for me.” The hesitation in my voice says loud and clear I’m not comfortable answering Austin’s door.

  “And you wonder why there’s a black cloud hovering over your relationship. Woman, he’s brought you here, planted you smack dab in the middle of his life, tells you he’s hopelessly in love with you and even asks you to move to New York. And you’re afraid there may be some skank behind that door telling you what? That he didn’t do all those things with genuine truthfulness?”

  We hear a key in the lock and Rob goes pale, surely matching my own color change. We both turn to the door as it creeps open then pauses for a brief second. It feels like an eternity before a shove pushes it all the way open to expose the visitor to our view. Her look matches ours as she glances up from the struggle of the multiple grocery bags she’s carrying.

  “Meagan.” I run to her aid, grabbing a couple of the bags. She smiles briefly at me before glancing at Rob. Her expressive blue eyes can’t hide the confusion.

  “Come in. I want you to meet my friend Rob.”

  “I-I didn’t think you were home. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know if it was okay to answer Austin’s door,” I admit sheepishly, slinging the two heavy bags onto the counter with a thud. Rob retrieves the other two from Meagan’s grasp and places their weight on the counter with ease.

  “Rob Ott. Amber and I both work for The Stanford in Seattle. I was in New York on business and called her,” Rob says, extending his hand toward her.

  “Meagan Harris. Good to meet you.” Her attention turns to me. “I’m sorry I used my key. I didn’t think about it when I breezed by the front desk. I knew Austin was in the studio. He asked me to pick up some things when I went to the market. I knocked.”

  “It’s fine. I’m glad you’re here. Do you want to have lunch with us?” I ask, turning to the fridge to get out the food. She looks back to Rob then nods at me with a subtle smile.

  “Good, you can help Amber with her little problem. She needs Austin to give it to her rough.”

  “Rob!” I shriek, turning ten shades of red. “This is Austin’s sister in law. His brother’s wife!” I say through clenched teeth. She looks between us, obviously bemused by his question before she begins to laugh.

  “Oh good, then she knows him. She can help,” he says playfully.

  “Oh my God! You remind me of my brother’s partner, Phillip.” She laughs.

  “Partner?” Rob asks with obvious intrigue.

  “Yeah, Owen’s husband. He just says what he’s thinking without filter,” she says, still laughing.

  “Your brother is gay,” Rob says with approval.

  Rob’s eyes scan Meagan’s long, denim-covered legs. If he weren’t gay, it would be insulting. “Do tell… Is this brother of yours as sexy as you?” he asks with a grin.

  “Yep and yep. You’re just like Phillip.” She turns to me. “Wait until you meet him this Christmas, Amber. You’ll see the similarities.”

  A smile forms as my mind begins to wonder into forever with this as my family.

  Meagan, Rob, and I laugh and tease throughout lunch. Sophia eventually woke up with her charm securely intact, entertaining both of them until Rob had to leave to catch his flight back to Seattle. A lump of sadness roots in my throat when I watch Rob walk down the hall toward the elevator.

  “You okay?” Meagan asks when I walk back into the kitchen. I nod. “Amber. I know you don’t know me like you do Rob, but if you need a friend, I can be that person. I’d really like that.”

  “I’m just so torn. So much has changed in my safe, predictable life since Austin came storming back in.”

  She doesn’t respond as she steps around the counter and aligns some of the items we’d unpacked from the bags she brought.

  “Austin asked me to move to New York,” I add quietly.

  Her head lifts. “How do you feel about that?”

  I’m surprised by her question. I expected her to say it’s logical and that it’s destined to happen when two people love one another; that it’s where Sophia belongs. But she’s asking a genuine question about my feelings.

  “I’m not sure. I want to be able to strip all the bad memories from my mind so they don’t influence decisions I need to make about my future.”

  “But you can’t?”

  “No. Don’t get me wrong, Meagan, not all of what we had was bad or I wouldn’t be so hopelessly in love with him. I just have this fear that one day he’s going to walk in and be high because he couldn’t deal with the pressures of life. I should want to move. He’s perfect and every day I fall deeper in love with him, but I feel like I’m just waiting for that black cloud to rain down some of its drama on us.”

  “I can’t promise you no drama. Lord knows I was delivered my fair share from my safe little life, but it was so worth it in the end,” she says with a sweet confidence. “Amber, he’s doing his best. Believe me when I say this—he’d leave it all behind if you needed it that way. He’s trying to find a balance between making sure you’re happy and appeasing his band. But in the end, your happiness is paramount.”

  “Thanks,” I mumble, feeling emotional.

  “If you’re not ready to move, don’t. Try the distance thing for a while and reevaluate. When Ashton and I finally got together, he was on tour but it worked.” She smiles reassuringly. “And the sex is phenomenal when you do get together, “ she adds with a wink, surprising me and making me laugh.

  Austin….

  My phone rings as soon as I pull into my garage. I groan when I see the number. She’s been calling me practically nonstop for over a week. I slide my thumb across the screen, deciding to get this over with.

  “Katelyn, how are you?” I say, ignoring the fact she’s called me at least five times today; all of which I’ve sent to voicemail.

  “Been better, Austin. Who’s the woman?”

  “What woman?”

  “Cut the shit, Austin.” I hear the subtle slur of my name
in her voice and disappointment rushes through me.

  “Katelyn, have you been using?”

  “I needed a little to take off the edge. It was just a few drinks.”

  “Katelyn…” I breathe with frustration.

  “You know, it wasn’t that long ago when you called me saying the same thing.”

  I inwardly cringe at the thought of what that one lapse in my recovery cost me. It was the night I showed up at Amber’s New York apartment drunk. I had no idea that my drunken visit helped her to make the decision that I wasn’t strong enough to be a father.

  “That was a long time ago, Katelyn.”

  “So who’s the woman in the tabloids with the baby? She looks a lot like your ex,” she asks again, hardly able to say the word tabloid through her dulled speech.

  “What does it matter?”

  “It matters to me, Austin. You said you weren’t going to do this with her again. She’s no good for your recovery.” She begins sobbing.

  I put my head on the headrest taking a calming breath.

  “Katelyn, I never said that. You thought that’s what I implied, but I didn’t mean I would never get back with Amber.”

  “So it is her.”

  “Where are you right now?”

  “At the plaza.” I hear her voice lift with hope.

  “In New York?” I ask, surprised she’s not in LA.

  “Yes, I came to talk about a movie. I’m leaving tomorrow. Unless you want me to stay.” Her voice pitches higher, showing more hope than the comment before.

  “Meet me in the lobby in twenty.”

  “I’d rather meet you in my room.” She does her best to sound sultry, when all it does is make her sound sloppy.

  “Katelyn, we’ve never gone there and never will. Be in the lobby in twenty,” I say sternly before disconnecting. As I back out of my parking place and pass the elevators that would lead me to my family, I get angry. Angry at Katelyn Days, and angry at myself for getting involved with her. The short drive to her hotel works to intensify my anger and I’m almost boiling when I arrive.

  The pimple-faced valet looks too eager to take my car when I pull up to the front of the hotel. “Don’t park it. I’m just running in,” I say, leaving the engine running and door open.

  “Yes, sir,” I hear his faint voice say as I stride through the doors on a mission. I see her sitting at the bar and I walk up, throwing money on the bar. “Let’s go.”

  Katelyn looks at me as seductively as a drunk person can, sending a shiver of disgust over my body. I wrap my hand around her arm and pull her from the stool toward the exit.

  Katelyn stumbles from the hotel with my hand still wrapped firmly around her bicep. I open the passenger door of my car and deposit her messily into the front seat. I notice the slack-jawed faces of everyone standing around before I lower into my car and speed off into traffic.

  “I’m so glad to see you, Aussie.” Her long fingers creep over, touching my arm. I shrug it off and shift gears, hoping to get us to where she needs to be faster.

  “Why are you doing this?” I ask sternly.

  “We belong together.” Her hand reaches up carelessly in an attempt to touch my face. I grab her fingers, holding them tight before placing them in her lap.

  “The drinking, Katelyn,” I say firmly. Her lips pucker with a pout, but she doesn’t say anything. We drive the next four blocks in silence.

  “What the fuck is this place, Austin?” She spits out with disgust, taking in the neighborhood.

  “I need to go in here and you’re coming with me,” I say, parking the car. I climb out then help her to her feet and through the front doors of the community center.

  “Austin!” Nadene calls out happily when we walk in. My eyes land on hers and I immediately feel a sense of comfort. Never formally educated in counseling, she’s still the best there is at making friends and getting people to open up and trust her.

  “Hey, beautiful,”

  Her eyes light up at the endearment, then flit to Katelyn and pity overtakes her features. She leaps from her chair and rounds her desk. “Say, aren’t you that actress Katelyn Days?” Nadene asks joyfully, putting one arm over Katelyn and leading her away.

  I see the conflict on Katelyn’s face as she looks back at me, but her steps continue as Nadene probes her into conversation talking about her favorite topic—herself.

  When I finally get home, I’m exhausted and frustrated. Nadene talked to Katelyn for close to three hours with no success. The apartment is quiet, and despite Amber and Sophia having been here only two days, the silence is deafening and all wrong.

  I enter Sophia’s room first. She’s sleeping soundly, snuggled in her pink ballerina pajamas. I wonder what she’ll want to be when she grows up? I have visions of Amber shuttling her and her brother around from one event to another. “You need to get her to move to New York before you start having dreams of a bigger family, asshole,” I mutter to myself as I move through the living room.

  My breath catches in my throat when I see Amber’s beautiful body curled up on the bed. She fits so perfectly into my life, and it makes my heart hurt to know she’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow for Seattle. I take off my shoes and climb into bed, cuddling up next to her and drawing her in tight to my body.

  “Hi,” she breathes quietly.

  “Shhh, go back to sleep,” I whisper softly.

  “I can’t if you’re gonna whisper against my neck like that. It’s kind of turning me on,” she says in her sexy as hell raspy voice.

  I lean up on my elbow, tucking her under my body. When our eyes lock, I lower my head and press my lips to hers. With a gentle slide of my tongue over the seam of her lips, she gives me what I want and my tongue slides into her mouth, rolling with hers. God, she feels like fucking heaven under my body like this. Her legs lift and draw me in tighter, pressing her deeper into the mattress with my weight. She begins rocking into me and I know I’m not going to be able to take this slow.

  My hand lowers down her body, finding the soft skin just below the hem of her shirt as her hand follows mine, urging it toward her tits. I grab a handful roughly and she moans, making my dick jut painfully against the confines of my pants. I pull back, lifting my shirt over my head.

  “Take off your clothes,” I demand while stripping from mine.

  I see the bite of her lip as she hurriedly lifts her shirt over her head. I help her from her pants before I crawl on top of her.

  “I need you fast and hard,” I say against her neck.

  Her legs open in response and a slow, sultry smile forms on her lips as I push into her body. I make a few slow shuttles in and out of her tight body, allowing her to acclimate to my size before quickening my pace. When I feel her legs tighten around my waist and her hips grind into mine, I know I’m giving her what she wants.

  As I glide in and out of her body, I have to fight to control ending this too soon. I unwrap her legs, holding them tight and rotating her body against mine. Her heavy breathing turns into heavy pants as her excitement grows, and I thrust faster and harder, burying myself as deep as two people can be connected.

  “Come, baby!” I demand through my heavy breaths, knowing I can’t hold on for much longer. I’m rewarded a minute or two later with the moan of my name as she clenches around my dick. I lose myself in her before stilling deep in her body with my release.

  I scoop her into my arms, connecting our sweaty bodies. I nestle in her neck, teasing her delicate skin with the light scruff she loves so much. Worry courses through me that I wasn’t attentive enough until I hear an almost silent giggle. When I lift up, she’s smiling, and my candy-ass heart starts to sing.

  “That was fucking awesome.”

  My smile grows to match hers. “Here I was thinking I was a loser for needing you so badly and being too rough, but you’re praising my shit performance.” I laugh.

  “Aus, sometimes that’s what I need. No sweetness, just sex. I need to know you need me like the air you
breathe.”

  “I’ll always need you, Amber. That hasn’t changed since we were kids. You stole my heart, my soul, and when I walked in here today, you stole my air.”

  Amber….

  “Daddy’s home!” Austin calls out playfully as he walks into the apartment. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” he says, stepping around the counter and wrapping his arms around me from behind. His nose nestles under my hair, landing in the crook of my neck. “I missed you.” His warm breath causes a blanket of goose bumps to prickle my skin.

  “I missed you too,” I say, leaning into his embrace.

  “Where’s Sophia?” A shiver runs through my body when his words are followed by the glide of his tongue over the sensitive skin behind my ear.

  “Afternoon nap,” I whisper.

  His hands snake down my sides, gripping my hips firmly and rubbing our bodies together. I feel the hardness press against my back, sending a bolt of excitement and anticipation straight to my core.

  “I was wondering about this dress…” he says in a low, husky whisper as his hands rove around the thin fabric of the blue wrap dress I’m wearing.

  “What’s that?” I put down the knife, no longer trusting my unsteady hands, and turn toward him.

  “If I pull this tie, would it truly unwrap you like a present for my taking?” His hand finds the tie at the waist of my dress and he pulls at the fabric, my dress falling open like a robe. His crooked smile is full of satisfaction until he looks down and sees the ice-blue matching lace panties and bra that I have on.

  “Jesus. Fucking. Christ.”

  His mouth slams onto mine, and his hand grips the back of my neck firmly, holding me in place for his mouth’s assault. I’m so lost in his kiss that I don’t register his hand until his fingers begin rubbing my hardened clit inside my panties. My body reacts of its own accord, rocking into his touch. My pleasurable moans are swallowed by him as he intensifies the kiss with their sound.

  He breaks our kiss and retracts his hand from my panties, stepping back. I’m weak at the knees, feeling bereft with the loss of his touch. His eyes rake over my body once more, earning my full attention before he puts his moistened fingers in his mouth and sucks. His unadulterated look of gratification at my taste almost sends me over the edge.